Remembering 2021

This is the time of year when we either recap our year or make resolutions (or some may say 'empty promises') for the upcoming one. For many, either task can be daunting. But looking back at the last 21 months in general has been an overall dud with Covid and the many changes it brought into our lives. If we look hard enough though amidst the chaos there will always be the pearls of goodness mixed in, those are the things we need to focus on.

I can certainly acknowledge the loneliness, sickness, lack of financial security, relationship strains, and uncertainties that came with Covid for many people. There's no denying the by-products brought on by the pandemic. But there has also been goodness. There's been in an increase in quality family time spent together, dinners and conversations together around the table, new found hobbies, clean closets, and probably an increase in the sales of sweats and yoga pants.

What did my 2021 look like? That's a tough one. I witnessed a lot of loss this year for myself and others. I lost a neighbor at my office (the one who brought me tomatoes and flowers from his garden), I lost a dear friend from my small group who always lifted our spirits, I lost a long time co-worker who was a friend and a fill-in father figure, I lost a brother-in-law who always let me sample the turkey first on Thanksgiving and sneak veggies onto his plate, my mother passed a few weeks ago, and most recently a family friend ... two of these were as a result of Covid. Neverless Covid did dictate to us how and when we were allowed to grieve.

Amidst the unexpected sadness that came each time, 2021 was also the year I completed three paintings and started a fourth, completed reading 14 books (a big accomplishment for me), had a healthy flower garden, welcomed a beautiful, healthy grandson into our family, and worked harder than ever to keep my head and my heart in a good place. 

It's been a year of changes and challenges for a lot of people. Will I make any resolutions for 2022; lose that dreaded 10#, travel more, start writing my book? Definitely not! I will, though, try to continue to build on the foundation I have been slowly building for myself; one that includes taking better care of myself, both physically and mentally. After that, who knows. Maybe 2022 will bring an end to Covid, a delayed family reunion, a little more writing, and better sleep. Whatever comes my way will be a blessing and I will embrace the opportunities for what they are.

How about you?

How would you summarize your 2021?

Do you make any resolutions and if so, what will you hope to accomplish in 2022?

Getting Back To What Makes You Happy

We all recognize the things that stress us out or make us feel uncomfortable or unhappy. But how many of us actually take the time to look at and discover the things that rejuvenate us, inspire us, or make us smile? We are often caught up in doing things for other people and being responsible that we tend to forget about ourselves. That would be me, for sure. By the time you get done dealing with a never-ending pandemic, all of its rules and guidelines that change daily, striving to keep everyone happy at work or home, doing grocery shopping and meal planning, taking care of your children (or your elders); that's when we have an epiphany and realize we're tired, overwhelmed, underwhelmed, or we're plain burned out. Not to worry, these feelings can be temporary.

I did the best I could to deal with my stress and new anxieties this past year, but some days it definitely felt like an uphill battle. I realize I am not the only person who has felt this way, but that doesn't stop you from feeling alone in that moment. Sometimes, my biggest hurdle has been looking for the beauty in the moment, then stopping to give myself permission to embrace it. Thank goodness my boss and his family got a new dog and have allowed me to spend time with him a few hours a week at the office. Can you say unconditional love? That golden retriever has been a true life saver.

I've always been a planner, scheduler, list-maker, and organizer. These traits alone could make anyone tired. Then I plan ahead and book a weekend retreat for a month later so I can be sure I have all my ducks in a row and everyone will be taken care while I'm gone. Only then do I give myself permission to try and focus solely on myself. It's a tough nut to crack, for sure.

Lately my approach has been to try to be spontaneous (ha). (I'm honest enough to not say "try to be more spontaneous" because that would mean I already know how to act in the spur of a moment. That's not my strong suit.) I have begun to realize that there are moments when a good opportunity presents itself and that's when you have to ask yourself, "Can I make this work? I need this." Make that needed effort and try. If it works out for you, that's awesome. If it doesn't, then at least you gave it a shot and will have a better idea of how to make it work the next time.

About a week and a half ago, my daughter mentioned an event she wanted to attend on Mackinac Island (our favorite place for mother-daughter trips). My first thought I am embarrassed to say was jealousy. Hey, I wanted to go, but immediately shot myself down that I couldn't do it. Heck - she hadn't even invited me, it was her idea. So I smiled and said, "That sounds like fun. We've never been there to see the autumn colors." To which she replied, "Do you want to go with me?" My heart fluttered a little and I started compiling the usual list of reasons why I couldn't. I thought about it for a couple of days and thought, "No, I want to do this and I should do this. This is exactly what I have been striving for - to appreciate the moments more." I worked it out and here we are! On this magnificent island, listening to the hooves of the horses and the horns of the ferry boats. Today we walked, we ate, we had some good conversation, we read a little, she went to her event this evening, and tomorrow we will venture home.

I've come to realize that feeling anxious isn't a sign of weakness. Discovering what makes you feel grounded and happy (even for a moment) is a sign of strength and awareness. These are my baby steps to feel more leveled and to take better care of my mind and body.

What steps have YOU taken? 

What have you discovered makes you happy?

Don't Let Anyone Dismiss You

We all have a lot on our minds these days; our health, Covid, finances, relationships (new and old), growing responsibilities ... you name it. It's obvious that no two people are the same; we look different, we think different, and we have different priorities and opinions. But who is to say that I am right and you are wrong or vice versa? We each have different needs and function in unique ways that suit us. No matter how much some people might like to lump others into categories for their own convenience; young or old, educated or not as much, chic or frumpy, well to do or struggling from week to week ... well, we each know what is playing through our minds at night when we can't sleep.

Whatever you are dealing with, thinking over, weighing the pros and cons for, or even daydreaming about ... learn to own it. Don't let other people define you or sway you away from thinking what you think or feeling what you feel. Learn to own your own bubble, your worries, your stresses, your happiness, your dreams, your sadness, and your doubts. Your emotions and goals and battles are all yours; they aren't there for others to dissect or dismiss.

When someone doesn't want to understand your point of view or even bother to ask yet they still like to categorize parts of life with dismissive comments that make you wonder if what you're feeling is valid, they are truly the ones who are struggling. As they are trying to suggest that other viewpoints are invalid or silly, I think they're just trying to establish support for their own point of view. They may or may not be doing it purposely, they may not even realize how their words and actions are affecting other people. We'd be giving them much more credit than they deserve if we let them think they had that kind of power over us.

Stand tall, remain firm, trust yourself and take on each challenge that comes your way with a renewed sense of positivity. You matter and so do your opinions; we're all entitled to them. We just need to remember that it's fine to share your opinion when someone asks for it. If you're going to try to persuade people to be more like you just because you think you're better, then you're going at it for the wrong reasons.

When's the last time you felt like someone was trying to dismiss you?

How did you handle it?

Starting Fresh

February 2021 is turning out to be a snowy month here in the mitten, but also across the U.S. including the southern states. The last year has been full of Covid stress, political chaos, surprises (some good, some not), and many changes. With change all we can do is adapt the best we can. It doesn't mean we have to like all of the changes, but we have to learn to live with them. In the last twelve months I have gone to work every day to a primarily lonely empty building. My family has seen very few people outside of our bubble. My sleep patterns have progressively gotten worse, my hairline has thinned out, I've lost a little weight (not necessarily a bad thing)  ... but on the bright side I've saved money and been thrifty, I've read a few books, and I've accomplished some pretty detailed PBN paintings. Like I said there is the good and the bad. The important thing is to find a balance you can handle.

So what does any of this have to do with there being snow outside? Perhaps nothing, but as I drove down the street this morning I was in awe with the fresh couple of inches of snow we got last night. It's sparkling and amazing! The snow was layered delicately on the bushes and tree branches. It gave me a fresh outlook on my day. It covered the grey and doom and gloom I've been feeling and gave me a sense of hope and a new day with a new start. I know it will melt and the dirty slush will appear again soon, but for right now I am enjoying the moment. 

Wherever you are today (geographically, mentally, or spiritually) ... embrace it for what it is. Make a choice to either let it run your life for you or decide what you can do to make it what you want. Many people feel isolated and out of touch right now, but take a chance and reach out to someone (a family member, a friend, a neighbor). Send a text, an email, or make a phone call; but don't choose to be alone. More importantly, if you find yourself on the receiving end to someone reaching out to you please don't ignore them. Take five minutes or more and talk with them. Your voice and conversation lets them know people still care about them and they don't have to be alone.

Wishing you a wonderful day and bright tomorrow.

Things I Wish I Never Had To Worry About

These are crazy times. The current list of things one could worry about is endless. On a normal day people find themselves worrying about their finances, relationships, or an unexpected diagnosis. 2020 has been a year like no other that I remember in my lifetime. Throw in the stresses and ugliness of a recent presidential election and add a Covid-19 pandemic on top like a cherry on a sundae. Some days it can feel like TOO much.

We are now nearing the holidays; Thanksgiving is next week and Christmas a month after that. Now we have tighter Covid-19 restrictions in our state for at least the next three weeks (after the last eight months, we KNOW it will be more than three weeks). Our holidays this year will be very different. Most of us know at least one person who has experienced a Covid birthday already. Thanksgiving (for most of us) will be quieter and more subdued. Personally while I will be fixing dinner for my immediate family of three, I think I will pull out the good china but stay in my cozy sweats. This year's theme is about being flexible and learning to go with the flow.

Worry comes in many shapes and sizes and there are those days when we wish we didn't have to worry about the big things OR the little things. 

We wish we didn't have to worry about whether or not someone had enough food to eat.

We may wish someone would remember us.

There's times we worry whether someone has Covid-19 just because they routinely sneezed after raking the leaves in the yard.

We wish we didn't have to worry about people remembering to respect each other and get along.

We worry about potential confrontations when people don't wear a mask. None of us like wearing them, but we're doing what we can to be part of a solution.

What is something you have found yourself worrying more about this year than in years past?

Finding Peace Amidst The Chaos

Life can get pretty crazy; lately that seems to be just about every day. You may go to bed at night and think, 'Whew! I made it through all the curve balls today. Tomorrow has to be better.' Then you wake up the next morning to a whole new batch of craziness. Today's world is filled with chaos, distractions, mixed emotions, loads of responsibilities, and lots of questions - many without answers.

We're still dealing with a pandemic, a presidential election that is less than four weeks away, and enough hatred and bitterness on social media to make a person's head swim. While things are changing every day and I want to be kept in the loop and up to date, there are days I want to stick my fingers in my ears like a ten year old and start humming loudly so I don't have to listen to any more.

How is the chaos affecting you? 

Have you been sleeping less? Is your appetite off? Do you find yourself short-tempered for no apparent reason? Do you feel anxious or depressed? Are you battling more headaches than usual? Do you feel like your shoulders are raised up closer to your ears? 

Here's the bigger question ... what have you found helps you to feel some small degree of peace amidst the chaos?

Do you listen to music? I have my car radio tuned in to the KLove station so it's the first thing I hear as I leave my house. Then I listen to it on my computer at work. Some days are too quiet and it makes me feel less alone. Some people relax with yoga or meditation. Many people take a walk. Last weekend I was able to visit my son and his family; my granddaughters make me laugh which always helps. My newest distraction is my boss bringing his puppy to the office. Oh how that little happy fluff ball can make me smile; I've found that puppy therapy has proven to be very beneficial.

I hope you are able to find some peace in these crazy times. Just remember, the weight of the world wasn't meant to be carried alone. We need to make it a point to be there for each other. Forget picking sides and drawing lines in the sand. Ask a friend to go for a walk. Bake some cookies and drop a plate off to your neighbor. Text or call your family just to say hi. We don't have to do it all alone.

What should I say?

It's been an unusual last 12 weeks. We've been dealing with the Covid-19 pandemic. We've dealt with 'Stay Home Stay Safe' orders and proper social distancing. We're dealing with major tensions in our culture. It's been a lot to deal with and think about for a lot of people. There are different opinions to just about EVERYTHING these days. Don't believe me? Check out social media (if you have the stomach for it). I've read comments full of accusations and hatred from strangers directed to other strangers, but I've also read sad comments from people directed to people they know.

Right now I've been focusing on the last 12 weeks, but MANY have been dealing with insurmountable stresses and tensions for a lot longer; declining health, financial burdens, relationship issues, racism, and so much more.

Life has become overwhelming for so many. Many of us want to help. Many of us want to understand both sides of an issue. Many of us have good intentions and want to do something positive to help. Many of us want to say the 'right' thing. So what should we do?  What should we say? I think before we speak or do anything, we need to first learn to listen.

We should never judge what we don't understand, that only makes us part of the problem rather than part of a solution. If we don't understand something, then we need to ask questions, BUT we also need to be prepared to listen. Whether we will fully agree with someone else or not isn't the point. The point is that we need to base our own views on facts, not predetermined stereotypes and ignorance.

Do I pretend to have the answers to life's big questions? Absolutely not. Sure, I have my own opinions on different things, but I generally (for the most part) keep them to myself and my inner circle rather than trying to win people over to my side just to make my side louder or bigger.

The next time you're facing something big and unpleasant (which could be on any given day), take a step back. Ask questions and try to view life or the situation from another perspective. It doesn't mean I expect you to change your opinion; you may or you may not. What I hope for is that we can all come to a consensus that we need to listen more before we react. Once we throw words out there, we can't get them back. We can all learn from our mistakes, myself included. None of us are perfect. We can ALL do better.

Have you had moments when you've reacted too fast and said something you later wanted to take back?

Were you able to remedy the situation and move forward in a more positive way?

It's A New Day

Remember the Bill Murray movie called 'Groundhog's Day'? He played a reporter who woke up every day to the same day ... the day that just kept repeating itself. For many of us, that's what it feels like lately. We've been staying home and staying safe now for more than 4 weeks. The routine is becoming very familiar; as is the daily dinner menu, the layout of the furniture, and the clothing we are wearing. About the only thing that is changing is the length and color of our hair (since the hair salons are all closed).

There have been moments when I've been glued to my social media to make sure my friends and family are doing well. Sadly there have also been moments when I am saddened and disgusted with the things people post (people I know and people I don't know). I get it. People are anxious. They are feeling antsy. In a world where we are blessed to make so many of our own decisions and choose our opportunities, many people feel 'stuck' suddenly being told what to do, where to go, what to buy and not buy, what's considered essential, that they cannot work, etc. I think, for the most part, people understand the severity of the Covid-19 situation and understand that flattening the curve is really about the only recourse we have right now. It's important that we each do our part to the best of our ability. But criticizing each other, critiquing people you'll never meet in person, and judging others doesn't help anyone's situation. Hiding behind your computer screen and typing in all CAPS and emojis, behind your locked doors doesn't make you smarter than the other guy ... it only makes you a bigger online bully (in my opinion).

Let's all take a much-needed step back and take a deep breath. Many people are now lucky enough to be working from home, but maybe they are stressing out about the self-discipline that takes (not to  mention if their spouse is now working from home too). Then there are people who are not working, but are having a very difficult time working through the government's computer systems to file for unemployment, etc. Maybe through no fault of their own they're getting rejected in the systems and trying to navigate the unwanted and unasked for scenarios. Then there's the fears and anxieties that the pandemic itself throws at us. We are all human and all deal with stresses and anxieties (and for many ... depression) differently. But let's remember to not add any unnecessary fuel to the fires. 

We WILL get through all of this and hopefully come out stronger in the end, both mentally and physically. But we need each other to lean on. We'll all have our stronger moments and our weaker ones, so let's be thankful for the support systems we have. Remember to reach out and send that extra text or email, or better yet make a phone call. Check in on each other. Not everyone has the same support system you do.

Yesterday may have been rough, but today? It's a new day and we can pray that it will be a better one.

How are you doing?

How are you coping?

Spring Forward?

Spring Forward! I've been reminded all week that tomorrow night we need to adjust our clocks for Daylight Savings Time. I don't know about you, but I am wishing I would have had an extra hour of sleep rather than losing another one. Sadly, sleep hasn't been in my repertoire lately. Having a lot to do and a busy schedule is pretty much the norm in my life, but lately it's been something else.

I've been trying to focus more on my personal life goals, my family, my job, my writing, and of course trying to carve out a few minutes here and there just for me (like my Tuesday night Zumba class). I've discovered that a person's soul can get pretty drained when it's being ignored and not properly nurtured. Stress and responsibilities have a way of becoming all too consuming.

I've also discovered that for me, at least, life's obstacles are what actually get in the way of me living my life the way that I want. It's those responsibilities that seem to double and triple some weeks. It's the snowy and icy weather, it's the working late some days, it's the heavy traffic that makes your commute longer; it's a lot of little things. We've all learned by now that some things are completely out of our control and not taken on by choice; providing elder care, getting sick, worrying about the welfare and health of friends and family, blowing a tire on an infamous Michigan roadway, or having someone deliver the wrong mattress when you're in desperate need of sleep (that could be a whole other blog post).

These obstacles are nothing more than distractions though. They come and they'll go. Unfortunately, while they're in your presence they can lead to unhealthy nervous snacking, any attempt you have for a peaceful night of sleep, your attitude changes, and definitely your motivation (or lack of it).

So how do we get back on track when we feel like we're slipping into a slump? Slumps can be tricky; they can affect us physically, as well as mentally. How do we try to reclaim what is ours? Our time ... our happiness ... our ability to be productive and creative? I wish I had the exact formula, trust me. But sadly, you and I aren't any different. We all get thrown the occasional curve ball. We all have to tackle unwanted situations. We all have days when we feel like to need to play referee. We all have to deal with unwanted illnesses and sometimes sudden loss.

I think the biggest thing we can do is allow ourselves to be humble. Life isn't meant to be handled alone. Whether you have your faith, a supportive family, or friends who you know you can count on ... you have what you need to tackle the tough patches. It's much easier to work through and over an obstacle when you have someone to talk to. Bounce ideas off of them and be open to a fresh perspective. Maybe they can help us see what we can't. Maybe they can help motivate us. Maybe they can remind us that we are not alone, exactly when we need to hear it most.

The next time you find life's obstacles getting in the way of you actually living the life you want, take a step back. Take a fresh look at the big picture. Ask yourself what's stopping you from getting to where you want to be. Know in your heart that this current obstacle shall pass and be nothing more than a distant memory and a reminder of just how strong and resilient you really are.

What's been stopping you lately from living your life?

Taking Time To Enjoy The Holiday

It's that time of year, just before Christmas, when it's very easy to get stressed. Some would say that the holiday season has snuck up on them and they aren't prepared. They haven't had time to shop or bake or write out cards or decorate their tree. Funny thing is that Christmas comes at the exact same time every year. I'm not sure why people act surprised that's it's only a week away. It's not like those birthdays that fall in the few first days of the month and you accidentally forget about them until you flip your calendar page over for the next month. No ... Christmas falls on the 25th of December, just like it did last year and the year before that and the year before that. 

Truth be told, for me, it's not the holiday itself that gives me stress. I started my shopping this year way ahead of time, so I could do it in small increments. I bought my Christmas cards in October and had them written out, stamped, and ready to mail before December 1st. With Thanksgiving coming a little early this year we had our outdoor lights up (thanks to Mother Nature being reasonable) and our indoor tree up and decorated by Thanksgiving. I was feeling ahead of the game. No last minute holiday scrambling for me this year, lol. 

For me it's the other 'stuff' that gives me the stress. I try to be proactive and handle it the best I can; some is avoidable and some is not. I have certain things to take care of for my mom who's in a nursing home (her Christmas open house, her holiday shopping for the nursing staff, and her annual paperwork needed for the State). It's the extra work load at work trying to plan ahead and do 2 1/2 weeks of work in one week so that I can be home between Christmas and New Year's. Things still need to get done; other people rely on it, but it also makes for a lot of long hours. 

Every year I find myself feeling overly stressed and tired around the holidays, but it's not usually because of the holidays. Every year I seem to need my mammogram at the end of the year, but this year decided to postpone til January, along with my annual physical. Mammograms aren't always a big deal, but when you're a breast cancer survivor who was originally diagnosed during the holidays it's always stressful.  Right now, though, I am carving out this little bit of time for myself to sit on the couch with my laptop; no TV, no music, the tree lights are on illuminating the room ... just me and my thoughts and a plan to put them into words. Trust me, I have enough on my mind as it is without storing up blog post ideas, too!

How do you handle the holiday season? Is it all twinkle lights and Christmas cookies, or do you just want to go to bed early some nights so you can store up the needed energy to get through the next day? Is your plate overflowing with responsibilities? Do you feel a bit sad or overwhelmed? Whatever you are feeling, it's perfectly okay. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Don't put any unneeded pressure on yourself. Do what you can when you can. If something doesn't get done, that's okay. It'll be there when you're ready to get back at it.

Try to put your own needs at the top of the list when you can, even if it's only for a night. Fix yourself a cup of tea and turn on a Hallmark movie (don't judge me, Hallmark always helps me disengage from the responsibilities of life and escape for 2 hours ... if I'm lucky enough to fall asleep I don't even mind because I know all Hallmark movies will have a happy ending).

As the Christmas holiday quickly approaches my hope for you is that you find contentment, you spend time with friends when you want or need company, but always make time for yourself to be quiet when that's what you need. Sometimes the festivities can help us feel social, but other times it can be overwhelming. I hope your holidays are all that you want them to be.

If We Could Only Skip The Drama

Drama is a funny thing; it has the ability to take on a life of its own and run rampant like a snowball building momentum down a mountainside. Drama is fine, at times, as long as it's part of a Hallmark Channel mystery movie; but not when it gets in the way of things we love.

Last week I was having lunch with my husband at a regular local spot and chatting with a waitress we've known for years. She'd always had a great personality and been efficient; probably why we would ask to sit in her section. We were surprised to hear that after nine years she was leaving and taking a new job at another restaurant. She said she loved being a waitress; she liked her job and liked talking with the customers. She took pride in her work. Management had changed and there was beginning to be too much drama; so much so that she was becoming stressed and unhappy. 

Most of us have had times in our lives when we were with someone or doing something (a career, volunteer work, or a hobby) that we felt passionate about; those times when we felt good about getting up in the morning and looked forward to what our day had in store for us. But when 'drama' gets in the way, it isn't healthy. Our light becomes dim and our excitement about what's to come lessens. Our motivation to make a difference can easily lose its strength.

I suppose the first step to taking care of ourselves is to be aware when something is interfering with our passions, our health, and our spirit. Doing things we are good at and contribute to making us happy and feeling whole is something we have to take ownership of. It belongs to us and no one else. What we choose to do with our passions, our gifts, and our talents is completely up to us. When drama threatens to get in the way, we need to make a choice. That's what our waitress, Stephanie, did. She saw the stress start to affect her life and didn't like what she saw. She made the tough decision to leave co-workers and customers she liked and chose to allow herself to become whole again and start fresh. Kudos to Stephanie for taking the horse by the reins and getting back on the path that makes her happy. I wish her luck and will be sure to look for her at her new location.

Today's world can be stressful enough with all of the things that we cannot control. But our own destiny ... that is something we need to hold on to with both hands. God has a plan for each us; we don't always know what it is in the time frame we would like, but God has it taken care of. He will give us the strength we need when we need it. We will get where we need to be and accomplish what we are meant to accomplish. We just need to be patient (I can admit, that's never been one of my strong suits, lol).

When was the last time drama got in the way of you doing something you love?

Was the drama yours or someone else's?

How did you get past it?

CHANGE Is Always Just Around The Corner

Some of us spend a lot of time trying to figure life out. We try to anticipate what will come next so we can better prepare ourselves, but things are always changing. Sometimes change is a good thing and sometimes it can be overwhelming. Some changes are overdue and welcomed, others can send us into a tizzy and make us feel defensive.

I was speaking with a group of ladies the other day and we were discussing some of the current changes in our lives. Our schedules have become different. Some of our longtime holiday traditions are changing. Our routines are becoming different each year. A lot of these changes are to be expected as we get older, as our children grow up and have families of their own, and as our family dynamics change. These changes will take time and patience to grow accustomed to them, but we will need to find a way to accept the changes. 

Then there are the changes that turn our lives temporarily upside down. We lose a job as the companies we work for downsize or merge. We get an unwelcome diagnosis from our doctor. We unexpectedly lose a loved one. These are the kinds of changes that we aren't expecting and have no control over. We have no time to prepare ourselves; we are dealt a blow and left to deal with it. These changes will take time (sometimes it will take a long time and that's okay).

If you are facing a change that you feel is wrong or not in your best interest, it is okay to challenge it in a healthy and well thought out way (if you are in a position to). IF despite your best efforts the change still happens, you will need to find a way to accept it and move on. It's not healthy to hold on to the baggage it will leave behind or the strain on your shoulders. If nothing else, you will know in your heart that you did everything you could, that you tried to be a part of the solution. There's nothing worse than not being happy about something and then some day realizing that you never did anything constructive to try to cope with it.

While sitting with this group of ladies I was reminded of the serenity prayer.

Next time you are expected to welcome a change of some sort, remember this prayer. It always helps me to gain perspective, helps calm my nerves, and lessens the strain on my shoulders just enough to move forward.

Is there change in your life right now? A positive one or a negative one? How are you handling it and more importantly do you have a support system in place to help you deal with it? 

Keep in mind, the best thing we can do for someone else is after we ask them 'How are you doing?' be prepared to actually listen to their response.

Don't Let Stress Win

Has anyone besides me noticed how fast life is going these days? We rush in traffic. We scramble to get out the door on time. There are days we look at the clock and frown because it's only 8:30 p.m. and we're too tired to do anything else with our day. When I was a child I thought that days were endless. We would go outside to play in the summer after breakfast, come back in for lunch and head back out on our bicycles to find a friend in the neighborhood. By the time dinner rolled around you were either calling your mom from a friend's house to see if you could stay for dinner or bringing someone home with you.

 

Somewhere along the line we grew up and life got complicated ... with school, homework, jobs, children, parents, and insurmountable amounts of responsibilities. Now trying to find that 60 minutes needed to cut the grass, work in the garden, do the laundry or grocery shopping, or even just take a walk becomes something that needs to be scheduled or added to the To Do list. Not to say that all days and weeks have come to that, but it does seem to happen more frequently.

 

Not having the time (or the energy) to do the things you want for pleasure, for your health, for creativity, to stimulate your mind, for your family, or just for yourself and your sanity can be stressful. Stress is a nasty word; it means we're allowing 'something' to get in the way of how we live our lives and we're letting 'something' control us. Stress isn't always as simple as making a choice to do or not do something. Often stress is a mere by-product of many other things. I've always been a firm believer that choices are the one thing we can control in our lives, but life can still throw you curve balls and those curve balls can often come from other people and their choices. The trickle down effect and how much those curve balls distract you and weigh on you and how you are able to live your life can be the cause of unwanted stress.

 

So what can we do about it when our choices aren't enough? Great question! If I had the answer or if it was that simple I could devote myself to helping A LOT of people. In the mean time, we must learn to take life one day and one moment at a time. We handle what we can, when we can. We find ways to lighten the load, to not try to carry it all ourselves, to be more vocal when we need help, and we listen to our gut. No one knows what YOU need better than YOU. Don't give up trying to find a balance in your life. Don't give up on trying to get your joy back.

 

What has you stressed out these days?

 

In the mean time, hold on to these little nuggets of wisdom ...

 

Take rest; a field that has rested gives a beautiful crop.

~ Ovid ~

 

God didn't do it all in one day.

What makes me think I can?

~ Author Unknown ~

 

Stress is the trash can of modern life -
we all generate it but if you don't dispose of it properly,

it will pile up and overtake your life.

~ Terri Guillemets ~





There Is Life After Transitions

Transitions can sometimes be tricky. People will always perceive them differently. Some are good; some not so good. A transition can be a lot like a journey. You have to head down the road; some roads will be bumpy depending on which route you choose. A transition is about getting from one place to another or moving past something. A journey is very similar. It gets you from one place to another, but often takes longer and unexpected things happen and change the path along the way. With a journey we may think we know where we're heading, but the destination can transform and change on the way (sometimes in the blink of an eye).

Many people are faced with transitions every day, often not by choice. You may have experienced a divorce and find yourself transitioning back to being a single person. You may have fought an illness and found yourself transitioning from being sick to being whole again; or as whole as you can now be. You may have lost your job and are trying to understand and transition into whatever tomorrow will look like. Or maybe you lost a loved one and are transitioning to a new life with the feeling of a broken heart making it hard to get through today.

Some transitions won't be as hard though. Sometimes they may start out feeling that way; we'll feel increased anxiety, we'll feel unsure, and we'll feel pressured but then the journey helps us to discover new and better things. We all get comfortable, sometimes even too comfortable. Like the seasons, we need to change. We anticipate the seasons (all four of them). We expect them. We know when they're coming and know what they'll feel like, but often many of us still have a difficult time transitioning from one into the next (especially going from autumn to winter). By the time February arrives many are seeking warmer temperatures and sunnier skies. In their own way they try to rush the season, but the reality is that nature needs to take its course.

Some teens transition to being young adults with more grace than others. Many adults transition into retirement better. Sadly, a lot of elderly have a difficult time transitioning through the process of getting older.

Yes, some transitions present themselves to us and we're expected to just know how to handle them. Not necessarily fair, but a reality nonetheless. The better news is ... we'll try to get through whatever transitions we need to. We may not know what the 'LIFE' after a transition will look like (other than different), but the important thing to remember is that there IS life after transitions.

What transition are you currently facing?

A Game of Highs & Lows

Last week I went to church for Palm Sunday and in the context of the sermon the childhood game of 'sharing your high and low for the week' was mentioned. It may have started out as a kid's game and progressed into a traditional ice breaker game for adult meetings and small groups, but it's also a great way for us to keep our perspective (at any age). At the end of every day or even just once at the end of a busy week stop and ask yourself what your 'high' and 'low' point of the week was. We may have weeks when everything seems like a 'high'; as well as there are times when we feel like our lives have hit rock bottom. It's important to find a balance. There's always a high of some sort; a child's laughter, a blue sky, or your favorite athletic team winning a game. Find a high and use it as a foundation. Consider it a seed, acknowledge it and watch it grow and bloom. Embrace your highs when you have them, but at the same time learn from your lows.

 

I was lucky to have had plenty of highs this week ... my health is good, I have a roof over my head, plenty of food to eat, a family that loves me, faithful friends, and I went to an impressive concert last night. My lows? I really need to learn how to deal with my stresses; computers that don't work, dealing with minor inconveniences (because that's all they are), handling my nerves, and trying to find more hours in a week. I admit it and I know I'm a work in progress, but I AM working on it.

 

What's been your high and low so far for the week?

Is It Worth It To Worry?

The last week has been overwhelming, to say the least. My brain feels like it's been pulled in about 18 different directions. A lot has been going on; some good, some not so good. Today I came home from work with my annual 'first day of vacation bible school' headache. Don't get me wrong ... I love VBS week. The kids are full of energy, the festive decorations are amazing, the kids are mostly all happy (although there's usually at least 1 crier in the bunch), but what I'm not used to is the number of people that come through my office during the 3 hour span. I finish Day One and recap with the fact that no one got stung by a bee, no one got lost, no one got sick in my office, there were no parental issues to be concerned with, and I didn't get as much done as I normally would on a Monday. All par for the course and all expected.

 

But personally my past week has been exhausting. My daughter is busy preparing for music auditions and to go off to college at the end of the month. My son (the teacher) has been travelling across state lines for multiple job interviews (but I'm glad to report that just this afternoon he accepted an offer). I know people who are dealing with illnesses and surgeries; as well as relationship woes. What can I say, other than it's my nature to be a worrier. I've always been that way. I worry not because I'm expecting doom and gloom, but I worry because I can't shut my brain down. I think and think and then think some more. I think about the possible scenarios, the what ifs, and the potential changes. I suppose in some strange way I think that if I worry, it'll take some of the stress away from other people. Not sure where I came up with that justification. Doesn't really make much sense. Realistically it just means that we ALL worry. Pretty senseless on my part, but it must be part of my DNA because the trait has never gone away and has never gotten any better.

 

I worry about the timing for people, their deadlines, and their options. I don't mean to sound like I'm a meddler. I try not to get involved in other people's dilemmas and situations, but when it's family or friends you can't always help yourself. In the midst of everything life has thrown at us lately I do try to carve out a few quiet moments here and there to read, to escape, and to simply distract myself. It's common knowledge that I often renew my library books 2 or 3 times, because I can't find the time to finish a book, but am stubborn enough to still want to. Ironically I came across a passage in my current book where a mother commented when asked how she liked her new freedom now that her daughter was grown. She responded in part with, "I don't know yet. So far, I still miss making sure she's okay. I miss talking to her several times a day. I still worry that she's going to do something and I won't be there to see, and that she'll need me but I won't be there. Once a mother, et cetera."

 

Hmmm, so maybe it's not so much about being a worrier, maybe it's more about being a mother and a parent. How do you handle the worries, the stress, and the endless 'what ifs'? I'd love to take up yoga, but who am I kidding ... I can't even finish my library books in time. In another month my daughter will be at college and my son will be relocated and teaching high school. My gardens won't need watering or as much pruning. Perhaps things will slow down just a bit. Trust me ... I do have hobbies and plans including my 5K Breast Cancer walk in October. I do have blogging workshops to attend. I'll have sleep to catch up on. And who knows I may even finish a book without having to renew it. 

Try Not To Worry

I attended a Midweek Lent Worship service this week. It was a small service - but packed a big message, one that hit home for me. The scripture basis was Matthew 6:25-34 which discussed 'not worrying' for God was in charge. The last part of the scripture said "So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today."

In a nutshell ... anxiety and worry are human traits. Most of us have been brought up believing that we have to be in control and be responsible for those things that affect our lives. The reality of it is that we can't do it on our own. Some of us get support from our friends, a sibling, a parent, perhaps a spouse ... but God is the one that gives us the most support whether we realize it or not. God's love is infinite - He will take care of us forever. The opposite of anxiety is trust, which is obviously more productive.

Question for the day: What do you worry about? Everyone worries about something ... their health, their finances, their children, their parents, the world, terrorism, etc.

Next question: If everything you worried about was suddenly fixed would you be less stressed or would you find something new to worry about?