Things I Wish I Never Had To Worry About

These are crazy times. The current list of things one could worry about is endless. On a normal day people find themselves worrying about their finances, relationships, or an unexpected diagnosis. 2020 has been a year like no other that I remember in my lifetime. Throw in the stresses and ugliness of a recent presidential election and add a Covid-19 pandemic on top like a cherry on a sundae. Some days it can feel like TOO much.

We are now nearing the holidays; Thanksgiving is next week and Christmas a month after that. Now we have tighter Covid-19 restrictions in our state for at least the next three weeks (after the last eight months, we KNOW it will be more than three weeks). Our holidays this year will be very different. Most of us know at least one person who has experienced a Covid birthday already. Thanksgiving (for most of us) will be quieter and more subdued. Personally while I will be fixing dinner for my immediate family of three, I think I will pull out the good china but stay in my cozy sweats. This year's theme is about being flexible and learning to go with the flow.

Worry comes in many shapes and sizes and there are those days when we wish we didn't have to worry about the big things OR the little things. 

We wish we didn't have to worry about whether or not someone had enough food to eat.

We may wish someone would remember us.

There's times we worry whether someone has Covid-19 just because they routinely sneezed after raking the leaves in the yard.

We wish we didn't have to worry about people remembering to respect each other and get along.

We worry about potential confrontations when people don't wear a mask. None of us like wearing them, but we're doing what we can to be part of a solution.

What is something you have found yourself worrying more about this year than in years past?

Taking Time To Enjoy The Holiday

It's that time of year, just before Christmas, when it's very easy to get stressed. Some would say that the holiday season has snuck up on them and they aren't prepared. They haven't had time to shop or bake or write out cards or decorate their tree. Funny thing is that Christmas comes at the exact same time every year. I'm not sure why people act surprised that's it's only a week away. It's not like those birthdays that fall in the few first days of the month and you accidentally forget about them until you flip your calendar page over for the next month. No ... Christmas falls on the 25th of December, just like it did last year and the year before that and the year before that. 

Truth be told, for me, it's not the holiday itself that gives me stress. I started my shopping this year way ahead of time, so I could do it in small increments. I bought my Christmas cards in October and had them written out, stamped, and ready to mail before December 1st. With Thanksgiving coming a little early this year we had our outdoor lights up (thanks to Mother Nature being reasonable) and our indoor tree up and decorated by Thanksgiving. I was feeling ahead of the game. No last minute holiday scrambling for me this year, lol. 

For me it's the other 'stuff' that gives me the stress. I try to be proactive and handle it the best I can; some is avoidable and some is not. I have certain things to take care of for my mom who's in a nursing home (her Christmas open house, her holiday shopping for the nursing staff, and her annual paperwork needed for the State). It's the extra work load at work trying to plan ahead and do 2 1/2 weeks of work in one week so that I can be home between Christmas and New Year's. Things still need to get done; other people rely on it, but it also makes for a lot of long hours. 

Every year I find myself feeling overly stressed and tired around the holidays, but it's not usually because of the holidays. Every year I seem to need my mammogram at the end of the year, but this year decided to postpone til January, along with my annual physical. Mammograms aren't always a big deal, but when you're a breast cancer survivor who was originally diagnosed during the holidays it's always stressful.  Right now, though, I am carving out this little bit of time for myself to sit on the couch with my laptop; no TV, no music, the tree lights are on illuminating the room ... just me and my thoughts and a plan to put them into words. Trust me, I have enough on my mind as it is without storing up blog post ideas, too!

How do you handle the holiday season? Is it all twinkle lights and Christmas cookies, or do you just want to go to bed early some nights so you can store up the needed energy to get through the next day? Is your plate overflowing with responsibilities? Do you feel a bit sad or overwhelmed? Whatever you are feeling, it's perfectly okay. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Don't put any unneeded pressure on yourself. Do what you can when you can. If something doesn't get done, that's okay. It'll be there when you're ready to get back at it.

Try to put your own needs at the top of the list when you can, even if it's only for a night. Fix yourself a cup of tea and turn on a Hallmark movie (don't judge me, Hallmark always helps me disengage from the responsibilities of life and escape for 2 hours ... if I'm lucky enough to fall asleep I don't even mind because I know all Hallmark movies will have a happy ending).

As the Christmas holiday quickly approaches my hope for you is that you find contentment, you spend time with friends when you want or need company, but always make time for yourself to be quiet when that's what you need. Sometimes the festivities can help us feel social, but other times it can be overwhelming. I hope your holidays are all that you want them to be.

It's An Overlapping Time of Year

When I looked out the windows this week I saw dry leaves blowing across the parking lots, trees and burning bushes turning gold and crimson, pumpkins and corn stalks in front of many houses, and photos popping up on social media of a variety of Halloween costumes. It's the end of October which means plenty of Trunk Or Treating events. It also means Hallmark has kicked off their Christmas movie season. Some would say, 'What ... Christmas movies already? Slow down! Let's enjoy one holiday at a time.' But don't get mad at Hallmark. They aren't the only ones on the band wagon to speed up time. Many stores have had Christmas items for sale for weeks now; of course they're just an aisle over from the Halloween and Thanksgiving decor. Equal time for equal holidays? I'm not exactly sure about that, but then some holidays bring in more revenue than others (business is business after all).

My kids are grown now and yet for some reason it still seems like once Labor Day rolls around and the school year has resumed, time just seems to go by a little faster. Summer ends, autumn begins, football games and tailgating takes place every weekend, it gets darker outside earlier, Halloween is upon us, Thanksgiving dinner discussions are already in full gear, and some people already have their check list complete for Christmas (okay, maybe not many, but enough to make me feel a little rushed, lol).

As we get older we tend to wish that time would slow down. There's too many 'responsible' things to get done, leaving not much time for the 'fun' stuff. Every year I say I will do things a little differently in the coming year; that I'll get started earlier so that I can enjoy the holidays more. Truth be told, some things change and improve, and some things stay the same (there's still never enough time).

So, to anyone who complains to me this year that Christmas movies shouldn't be playing yet or the local radio stations shouldn't be asking 'When should they start playing their Christmas music?' I say ... 'Don't worry about it so much!' It's going to happen anyway, so just let it ... in fact, why not just embrace it? What's the worst thing that can happen? You'll be taking your kids trick or treating AND talk to family about Thanksgiving dinner plans AND start picking out your Christmas cards all in the same week. There are worse things in life.

Personally, I don't mind that it's an overlapping time of year. It means I have wonderful things to be part of and look forward to. I enjoy the fall colors, the pumpkins, and kids' costumes. I also like the idea that when everyone's schedules and lives are packed full and busy, that Thanksgiving is still a time to put all of that aside and come together to get caught up with each other. Then there's Christmas ... I LOVE the twinkling lights, the decorations, the aromas of cookies baking and cinnamon scented pine cones on the porch, writing out and receiving festive cards, and standing in line and shopping for just the right gifts for people (yes, I rarely shop online ... I would rather go to a brick and mortar store and talk to people while I stand in line ... I know, call me CRAZY).

My point is to not let your yourself become consumed with the commercialism or the schedules or the To Do lists. Enjoy the moments for what they are. Make the memories. Don't worry about the calendar or what is coming next.

What do you look forward to this time of year?

What part do you like or dislike the most?

Is It Too Early?

You'd have to be living in an isolated cave somewhere to not notice that Santa is already in some shopping malls, lights are being hung, ornaments are festively being put on display, and sales are already happening. Is it too soon? This is and always has been a controversial subject for many this time of year. There are valid arguments on both sides. Some don't want to feel rushed and quickly feel stressed that they won't be ready in time. They will argue that they don't want to hear Christmas music on the radio before Thanksgiving; very valid points. Others LOVE the Christmas season and simply cannot wait for it to get started. I would venture to say that I am some where in the middle, but leaning more toward the tinsel side.

While I do enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday; a wonderful meal, football, and time with family and friends ... I am a multi-tasker and can enjoy Thanksgiving Day and still get a little pumped about the Christmas season. I look forward to the decorations, the lights, the Hallmark movies (which I am already watching), the store displays, shopping for those special well thought-out gifts, wrapping, and even sending out Christmas cards. The month of December goes by so quickly as it is that I don't mind stretching it out a little longer. My theory is that if I get started earlier in November then hopefully I won't spend my December feeling as anxious. The sooner I check things off my proverbial 'list', the more time I will have to take walks in downtown Rochester to see the light show, meet a friend for hot chocolate, or curl up with a cozy blanket to watch a Christmas movie.

During the last 10 days our country has endured a controversial presidential election, Facebook has served as a sounding board for hatred and meanness, and my family suffered the loss of a great woman. Needless to say my emotions (as well as many other people's) have been on an unpleasant roller coaster ride. Next week we will gather once again for Thanksgiving and be thankful indeed ... for family, for good health, for having food on our tables, a roof over over our heads, and abundant love in our hearts. At the same time I will look forward to the future with hope and anticipation; a hope for a more peaceful world and anticipation that people can learn to unite for the common good.

For many, Christmas is a season filled with hope and love and goodness. That is something I can wrap my head and my heart around. If I could start celebrating it in July or September or any other month I probably would. It's not about the gifts or the material things (my shopping list actually gets smaller every year), it is about the spirit and the hope.

So is it too early to be decorating, or looking at lights, or buying Christmas cards, or listening to holiday music that makes you smile? I say no, but that's just me. Sure, I will have my days when I feel a bit overwhelmed and anxious, but truth be told that also happens in February and April too, lol. 

The holidays (any of them) are what we choose to make of them. Yes, department stores will continue to set up displays earlier and earlier ... but so what. If it bothers you, then do your best to avoid it or simply don't let it get to you. But don't be a scrooge to those who look forward to it. Many people are lonely or sad or simply looking for more positiveness in their world. If they can find it in a store display or by looking at the twinkling lights on the trees, let them. It doesn't mean you have to hang a wreath on your door or a stocking on your mantle just yet. You can wait til the time is right for you.

I hope that all of us can embrace the goodness of the Christmas season, as well as be thankful for our blessings (but we can be thankful EVERY day - not just on the fourth Thursday of November).

What Will Your Holidays Look Like?

Holidays come at the same time every year, just like seasons. You can pretty much predict when they will arrive and what they will look like, but often things like 'life' get in the way and change things for us. 

Just like the weather can be unpredictable, things can happen in our lives that will change the flow from what always was to what will be now. Some events are glorious and what we've always dreamed of and others are unexpected and unfortunate.

We remember holidays as being times when families get together; there is tradition and laughter and food and card games ... times to make memories that we will always be able to hold on to. My holidays this year and for some people I know are changing. I know people whose adult children have married or relocated; the scenario of every other holiday will now begin. It's not a bad thing, just a new thing. Then I know families who have lost a loved one this year and their holidays have unwelcome adjustments. Their days will be different; they might be lonely or quiet. For some it will be hard to get into the festive spirit. Things will get better with time, but it will be a process - one that will require patience and optimism.

What will your holiday season look like this year? Will you have additional guests at your table? Will you have the sounds of new little feet running through your house? Will you have a quietness that is deafening? Remember that Christmas is the season of giving. Give of your heart. Give of your time. Give extra hugs whenever needed. Whatever your holidays look like make the most of them. Create new traditions for yourself and your loved ones and you will have a multitude of memories for years to come.

Christmas Music: Sooner or Later?

Today if you listen to the radio, watch the TV news, or read the latest Facebook posts you'll undoubtedly hear opinions about radio stations starting to play Christmas music. A certain local radio station kicked things off this morning by flipping the switch and pledging to play Christmas music from now through the holidays. A reporter asked the DJ what the public's response had been. He laughed and said (don't quote me, I'm going on memory), "People have been the calling the radio station every day for a few weeks now asking when we're going to start playing the Christmas tunes. Most people have been excited and can't wait. Of course, some have been down right mean and nasty."

I've read Facebook comments where people have been thrilled and said, 'they love the season' and 'the music makes them happy.' Others have suggested that 'stations should wait til after Thanksgiving' as if by playing music now we're skipping Thanksgiving. Of course these are the same people who have the majority of their online Christmas shopping done BEFORE they sit down for their turkey and stuffing. I'm not sure I see the difference.

 

Here's a thought (my thought) ... radio stations playing Christmas music now don't sell a product or a service. They don't force you to go spend money. They aren't holding a 24 hour sale. They aren't making you put lights up on your house before the end of November. They're not even forcing you to listen. The only thing they're offering you is a chance to extend your holiday. I hear so many people complain year after year that the holiday season just flies by. What's so wrong about listening to happy music that reduces your stress levels and makes you smile? If listening to Christmas music now stresses you out ... then don't listen. Some of us enjoy it and actually find it uplifting and relaxing. Those of us that listen now aren't trying to rush things. Actually it's the opposite - we enjoy the season and are trying to prolong it and enjoy it longer. I can do that and still enjoy Thanksgiving with my family. Guess that's my multi-tasking side coming out.

If you want to suggest some holiday guidelines here's one for you ... how about if retail stores agreed NOT to make their employees work on Thanksgiving day. What if there was an agreed upon start time for the 'official' Christmas shopping season? Let's say 12:01 a.m. on the day after Thanksgiving Or even 5:00 a.m.? Whether you shop at 9:00 p.m. on Thanksgiving or 10:00 a.m. the day after doesn't really matter. I guarantee that whatever you choose to purchase this holiday season you'll still buy it before December 25th.

 

I went to a local retailer today and they had some great sales going on so I purchased a few gifts. I know they were great prices and won't be any better in 3, 4 or even 5 weeks.

 

Just to throw you off the track and totally change the subject in case it's getting too controversial I'll suggest a deadline that has absolutely nothing to do with shopping or the holidays. Let's suggest that politicians shouldn't be able to campaign in any way, shape, or form until 6 months before their election. Now, there's a good idea!

 

OK ... so let me have your opinion about the Christmas music. You know you have an opinion. Go ahead ... I can take it.