Taking A Break

Often we can feel overwhelmed and tired. Sometimes we feel there just aren't enough hours in the day. We all have responsibilities; can't think of anyone I know who doesn't. We make lists and we prioritize because we know we'll never get it ALL done in a day and sure enough we'll forget to do something. So we rewrite the list the next morning and start fresh. It's an inevitable cycle; one that is hard to avoid. But there are times when either our mind or our body says, 'Hey, that's enough. I need a break.' That's when we need to stop and listen. Our mind and body are strong enough to get us through each day, but they're also wise enough to tell us when we need to slow down and recharge.

It's difficult to just flip a switch and say 'I'm off til Wednesday'. How many times have you been on vacation and it's literally day two or three before you start to relax and enjoy the moment? The first few days are about packing, unpacking, making plans, getting to your destination, etc. Day three rolls around and you sleep in a little and start to feel relaxed. Hopefully your vacation is at least 5 days so you can enjoy it.

I realized the other day that it's been two months since I blogged. Shame on me, but I don't blog to fill a quota. Sure, I set goals for myself but in the end I blog when the feeling is right and I can be present in the words. The last two months have been filled with work, gardening, weeding, watering the garden, cleaning up the garden, etc. You get the picture. Writing, like anything else, has its seasonal moments. When we have more daylight in the summer months I don't hang out in the house much unless it's raining or a grey day. Now it's nearing the end of September and I have the itch to clean out the gardens and put the mums and pumpkin decor out. October will fly by and then we'll be decorating for Christmas and trying to get the outside lights up before it snows. Time just moves by too fast these days. Someone just informed me that Christmas is three months from this Sunday! Please don't shoot the messenger.

This week though I am taking a break. I'm cutting myself some slack and giving myself grace. Do I already have next week's To Do list set? Mostly, lol, but at least I'll feel better equipped to handle it. I'm going to take a few days and recharge (mentally and physically). 

When's the last time you gave yourself permission to take a break?

Were you successful in feeling recharged and motivated?

Spring Forward?

Spring Forward! I've been reminded all week that tomorrow night we need to adjust our clocks for Daylight Savings Time. I don't know about you, but I am wishing I would have had an extra hour of sleep rather than losing another one. Sadly, sleep hasn't been in my repertoire lately. Having a lot to do and a busy schedule is pretty much the norm in my life, but lately it's been something else.

I've been trying to focus more on my personal life goals, my family, my job, my writing, and of course trying to carve out a few minutes here and there just for me (like my Tuesday night Zumba class). I've discovered that a person's soul can get pretty drained when it's being ignored and not properly nurtured. Stress and responsibilities have a way of becoming all too consuming.

I've also discovered that for me, at least, life's obstacles are what actually get in the way of me living my life the way that I want. It's those responsibilities that seem to double and triple some weeks. It's the snowy and icy weather, it's the working late some days, it's the heavy traffic that makes your commute longer; it's a lot of little things. We've all learned by now that some things are completely out of our control and not taken on by choice; providing elder care, getting sick, worrying about the welfare and health of friends and family, blowing a tire on an infamous Michigan roadway, or having someone deliver the wrong mattress when you're in desperate need of sleep (that could be a whole other blog post).

These obstacles are nothing more than distractions though. They come and they'll go. Unfortunately, while they're in your presence they can lead to unhealthy nervous snacking, any attempt you have for a peaceful night of sleep, your attitude changes, and definitely your motivation (or lack of it).

So how do we get back on track when we feel like we're slipping into a slump? Slumps can be tricky; they can affect us physically, as well as mentally. How do we try to reclaim what is ours? Our time ... our happiness ... our ability to be productive and creative? I wish I had the exact formula, trust me. But sadly, you and I aren't any different. We all get thrown the occasional curve ball. We all have to tackle unwanted situations. We all have days when we feel like to need to play referee. We all have to deal with unwanted illnesses and sometimes sudden loss.

I think the biggest thing we can do is allow ourselves to be humble. Life isn't meant to be handled alone. Whether you have your faith, a supportive family, or friends who you know you can count on ... you have what you need to tackle the tough patches. It's much easier to work through and over an obstacle when you have someone to talk to. Bounce ideas off of them and be open to a fresh perspective. Maybe they can help us see what we can't. Maybe they can help motivate us. Maybe they can remind us that we are not alone, exactly when we need to hear it most.

The next time you find life's obstacles getting in the way of you actually living the life you want, take a step back. Take a fresh look at the big picture. Ask yourself what's stopping you from getting to where you want to be. Know in your heart that this current obstacle shall pass and be nothing more than a distant memory and a reminder of just how strong and resilient you really are.

What's been stopping you lately from living your life?

Taking Time To Enjoy The Holiday

It's that time of year, just before Christmas, when it's very easy to get stressed. Some would say that the holiday season has snuck up on them and they aren't prepared. They haven't had time to shop or bake or write out cards or decorate their tree. Funny thing is that Christmas comes at the exact same time every year. I'm not sure why people act surprised that's it's only a week away. It's not like those birthdays that fall in the few first days of the month and you accidentally forget about them until you flip your calendar page over for the next month. No ... Christmas falls on the 25th of December, just like it did last year and the year before that and the year before that. 

Truth be told, for me, it's not the holiday itself that gives me stress. I started my shopping this year way ahead of time, so I could do it in small increments. I bought my Christmas cards in October and had them written out, stamped, and ready to mail before December 1st. With Thanksgiving coming a little early this year we had our outdoor lights up (thanks to Mother Nature being reasonable) and our indoor tree up and decorated by Thanksgiving. I was feeling ahead of the game. No last minute holiday scrambling for me this year, lol. 

For me it's the other 'stuff' that gives me the stress. I try to be proactive and handle it the best I can; some is avoidable and some is not. I have certain things to take care of for my mom who's in a nursing home (her Christmas open house, her holiday shopping for the nursing staff, and her annual paperwork needed for the State). It's the extra work load at work trying to plan ahead and do 2 1/2 weeks of work in one week so that I can be home between Christmas and New Year's. Things still need to get done; other people rely on it, but it also makes for a lot of long hours. 

Every year I find myself feeling overly stressed and tired around the holidays, but it's not usually because of the holidays. Every year I seem to need my mammogram at the end of the year, but this year decided to postpone til January, along with my annual physical. Mammograms aren't always a big deal, but when you're a breast cancer survivor who was originally diagnosed during the holidays it's always stressful.  Right now, though, I am carving out this little bit of time for myself to sit on the couch with my laptop; no TV, no music, the tree lights are on illuminating the room ... just me and my thoughts and a plan to put them into words. Trust me, I have enough on my mind as it is without storing up blog post ideas, too!

How do you handle the holiday season? Is it all twinkle lights and Christmas cookies, or do you just want to go to bed early some nights so you can store up the needed energy to get through the next day? Is your plate overflowing with responsibilities? Do you feel a bit sad or overwhelmed? Whatever you are feeling, it's perfectly okay. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Don't put any unneeded pressure on yourself. Do what you can when you can. If something doesn't get done, that's okay. It'll be there when you're ready to get back at it.

Try to put your own needs at the top of the list when you can, even if it's only for a night. Fix yourself a cup of tea and turn on a Hallmark movie (don't judge me, Hallmark always helps me disengage from the responsibilities of life and escape for 2 hours ... if I'm lucky enough to fall asleep I don't even mind because I know all Hallmark movies will have a happy ending).

As the Christmas holiday quickly approaches my hope for you is that you find contentment, you spend time with friends when you want or need company, but always make time for yourself to be quiet when that's what you need. Sometimes the festivities can help us feel social, but other times it can be overwhelming. I hope your holidays are all that you want them to be.

It's Okay To Push Yourself

Sometimes our lists of things to do can be daunting. There's always outdoor work that needs to be done at home. There's an  'IN' box at work that is almost always full. Even the magnetic notepad on the side of the fridge for the next trip to the grocery store ALWAYS seems to have something written on it. There are days when you might want to just collapse when you get home and say 'enough is enough', but then you push yourself to do one or two more chores before you call it a night.

Why do we always have something to do? Great question; probably because we write our own To Do lists (at least that's been my problem). I am a glorified, semi-professional list-maker! I always have things to tend to (but who doesn't?). My problem is that I need to trust myself to keep track of it all and hopefully not let anything slip through the cracks of a busy day. I trust myself to do my best to get everything done (in a reasonable amount of time), but I can admit that I am human. On a busy day my memory isn't going to be fool proof ... so I make lists. If I don't get something done today I will revise my list this evening and it will be there tomorrow as a reminder that it hasn't gotten done yet. And that's okay. 

We all have busy lives; whether we are young parents juggling jobs and chauffeuring little ones or whether we are older and juggling jobs, a home, and caring for aging parents ... we ALL have things that require our attention. But the truth remains the same; there are still only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. We will still only accomplish as much as time and ability (and sleep) allows for. My husband and I have been in the midst of a month-long backyard landscape overhaul. Out with the old and in the new; twenty years in a house will do that. We looked at the next step in our project and realized we had a small window of non-90 degree weather for a 48 hour period, so we tackled planting 19 shrubs! Trust me there were moments when we looked at each other's sunburned faces and dirty knees and thought, 'We're done! We can't do any more today.', but then we pushed ourselves and got it done and guess what? Today the temperature is back to 90 degrees and this stage of our project is complete.

It's okay to push ourselves when we're close to giving up; when it's the last two miles of a marathon, when three out of four walls are freshly painted, when we only have one more store to go in to finish up the Christmas shopping, or when you only have a week left of a medical treatment. When you set your goal and you see the finish line on the horizon, dig deep and just go for it. You are almost there! You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. 

When is the last time you pushed yourself to accomplish something big? 

What was it and how did it go?

Change The View To See Clearly

Lately I've had a difficult time conveying what's on my mind and putting it into words. Don't get me wrong, I've always got thoughts in my head and words spinning around. My problem is that I can get distracted very easily. I have a room in my house (my son's old room ... don't worry, I didn't kick him out or anything ... he got married and has his own house now); I worked hard to transform this room into a place that was serene.  A place where I could have a writing desk for blogging and a comfy chair for reading. But somehow I let MY special place get away from me. Over the last several months I allowed my space to become a dumping ground; no one did it to me ... I allowed it to happen.

I suddenly found the corners filled with a pile a mail to go to my son's the next time I saw him, a basket full of catalogs that were meant for my mom but being forwarded to my address since she now resides in a nursing home, a bag of snacks and items to go with me on my weekly visit to see her, etc., etc. 

My life has changed a lot in the last year or so, new and increasing responsibilities have been added to my plate. My day, just like everyone else's, sadly still just has 24 hours. There never seems to be enough time to accomplish all the things I have to do, let alone create extra time for blogging and doing some of the things I want to do - things I need to do. 

The piles in my room, like the responsibilities, had become distractions that were keeping me off balance. I needed to reclaim that balance, it wasn't feeling healthy anymore. I can't necessarily eliminate the responsibilities, but I could get rid of the piles! The 'stuff' in my room was exactly that; 'stuff'. At the same time it also became a visible metaphor for a part of my life. The part I felt I was losing control over.

Last weekend my ever-patient and supportive husband and daughter helped me to reclaim part of my balance. We eliminated the piles, we removed the corner TV, we rearranged the furniture, and we moved a 2-drawer cabinet into the closet ... out of sight, out of mind. I can still organize my necessary paperwork, but I won't have to look at it all the time. My carpet is now clear, as well as my vision. I can sit here right now at my desk and look up and across the room. I can look out the window at my yard with green grass and tree branches gently moving in the breeze. My desk no longer faces a wall.

What has this experience taught me? That sometimes we need to change the view in order to see more clearly.

Have you experienced being 'off balance'? What was causing it? What did you do to get back to where you wanted to be?

Make The Time

How often does something happen and you wish you had more time? You or someone you care about gets sick. Your kids have grown up in what seems like the blink of an eye. There's a hurricane or a tornado. Time moves by so fast and yet we find ourselves wishing that we not only had more time, but that we had better used our time.

It is my nature to be a planner. I'm ALWAYS planning ahead; trying to be responsible and be prepared. I was a Girl Scout for many years when I was growing up, perhaps that is when the characteristic rooted. From an early age I became dependent on myself. If I wanted something done, I needed to make it happen. I learned not to depend on other people, but rather be in charge of my own destiny. Somewhere along the line though I became TOO good at being a planner. I can admit I often forget to make time for myself or the people I care most about. I tend to get caught up more in what will be happening next week and next month, so much so that I often forget to enjoy today. 

I need to learn that while it is important (and responsible) to be an organizer and an efficient planner, it is also important to learn to create a better life balance. I need to smell the roses more. I need to hold hands with my husband when we're taking a walk. I need to laugh more at witty puns and jokes until my sides ache. I need to embrace today more. If I manage to do that then I believe I will have the stronger stamina I need to tackle the responsibilities and obstacles that life will undoubtedly throw at me.

But how do I make that happen? I suppose being aware and acknowledging the problem is the first step. The next step? Great question. If you have the answer, I am all ears. I could remind myself over and over again to not worry as much about tomorrow and next week, but embrace the here and now. And if I can't remember I can only hope that my family and friends will be there to remind me, stick post it notes on my windshield, write me messages in the steam on my bathroom mirror, send me texts and emails ... whatever it takes for the proverbial 2x4 to hit me square between the eyes.

How balanced is your life? Can you relate or am I experiencing this dilemma all by myself? What helps you to keep an open perspective and to live more in the moment?

Embrace Your Seasons

Our lives are a lot like the 4 seasons that we know so well. We have Spring when the trees are blooming and our spirit feels like it is slowly rejuvenating after a long, harsh Winter. In the Summer we feel alive with exercise and fresh air, and yet by the time Autumn  and its crimson and gold roll around we are ready to begin curling up in a cozy blanket.

Our lives and relationships also tend to go through changes, but that's o.k. We have different seasons in our lives: our youth, perhaps getting married or having our firstborn, our careers, and eventually our golden years. With each segment of our lives comes an array of responsibilities and new adventures. Realistically our journeys will overlap with those we are in relationships with. I remember years ago when I was first married; I was moving into a new season in my life while my friends were still in a different one. Suddenly we no longer had anything in common and drifted apart. Years later some of those relationships rejoined once our seasons overlapped.

We need to remember that people don't always choose to walk away from us - sometimes it's just the changing of a season. I'll admit I've sometimes had a difficult time with that. When my son was born I was 23 and one of the youngest moms in my neighborhood. When I had my daughter 9 years later and was 32 I was suddenly older then the other moms in her class. Our seasons were overlapping. Now both of my children are adults and I often struggle to know which group I fit in with.

So what do we do? We learn to embrace our seasons. We start to focus more on where we are and less where everyone else is. Let the others connect with us. We cannot change ourselves to mesh with others just as we cannot expect them to change for us. Our seasons are either in line with each other or they aren't. New relationships and adventures will appear if they are meant to be, but don't be so quick to move on past the old ones. A lot can be learned from them and they may just show up on your doorstep when you least expect them?

Have you ever experienced this? How did you get through it?

What are your responsibilites?

What are your responsibilities? Are you a spouse? A son or daughter? A parent? An employee? A Christian? A survivor? Depending on the question, your answer will probably be different.

As a parent you have the responsibility to feed, cloth and provide shelter for your children. You should love, protect, and encourage them.

If you’re blessed in today’s society to be employed then you have the responsibility of giving your job 100%, showing up on time, having a positive attitude and being productive.

If you’re a Christian you should be living in the Word and sharing your faith through your voice and your actions.

And if you’re a survivor, you should be celebrating! You may be a survivor of an addiction, of an abusive relationship, or a deadly disease. Like anyone you have a right to share your triumphs and your roadblocks, but as a survivor you have a responsibility to share your hope. Not everyone is blessed with a support system when going through something tough. Whatever your situation has been, whatever obstacle you’ve been fortunate enough to overcome I would ask that you share your inner strength with someone who needs it. They could be a family member, someone at your school or church, the cashier at the grocery store, or the neighbor down the street you never stop to talk to but only wave at when driving by. Everyone needs someone. I urge you to be there for just one person today. Then start again fresh tomorrow. Let’s make 2012 an awesome year.