Spring Forward?

Spring Forward! I've been reminded all week that tomorrow night we need to adjust our clocks for Daylight Savings Time. I don't know about you, but I am wishing I would have had an extra hour of sleep rather than losing another one. Sadly, sleep hasn't been in my repertoire lately. Having a lot to do and a busy schedule is pretty much the norm in my life, but lately it's been something else.

I've been trying to focus more on my personal life goals, my family, my job, my writing, and of course trying to carve out a few minutes here and there just for me (like my Tuesday night Zumba class). I've discovered that a person's soul can get pretty drained when it's being ignored and not properly nurtured. Stress and responsibilities have a way of becoming all too consuming.

I've also discovered that for me, at least, life's obstacles are what actually get in the way of me living my life the way that I want. It's those responsibilities that seem to double and triple some weeks. It's the snowy and icy weather, it's the working late some days, it's the heavy traffic that makes your commute longer; it's a lot of little things. We've all learned by now that some things are completely out of our control and not taken on by choice; providing elder care, getting sick, worrying about the welfare and health of friends and family, blowing a tire on an infamous Michigan roadway, or having someone deliver the wrong mattress when you're in desperate need of sleep (that could be a whole other blog post).

These obstacles are nothing more than distractions though. They come and they'll go. Unfortunately, while they're in your presence they can lead to unhealthy nervous snacking, any attempt you have for a peaceful night of sleep, your attitude changes, and definitely your motivation (or lack of it).

So how do we get back on track when we feel like we're slipping into a slump? Slumps can be tricky; they can affect us physically, as well as mentally. How do we try to reclaim what is ours? Our time ... our happiness ... our ability to be productive and creative? I wish I had the exact formula, trust me. But sadly, you and I aren't any different. We all get thrown the occasional curve ball. We all have to tackle unwanted situations. We all have days when we feel like to need to play referee. We all have to deal with unwanted illnesses and sometimes sudden loss.

I think the biggest thing we can do is allow ourselves to be humble. Life isn't meant to be handled alone. Whether you have your faith, a supportive family, or friends who you know you can count on ... you have what you need to tackle the tough patches. It's much easier to work through and over an obstacle when you have someone to talk to. Bounce ideas off of them and be open to a fresh perspective. Maybe they can help us see what we can't. Maybe they can help motivate us. Maybe they can remind us that we are not alone, exactly when we need to hear it most.

The next time you find life's obstacles getting in the way of you actually living the life you want, take a step back. Take a fresh look at the big picture. Ask yourself what's stopping you from getting to where you want to be. Know in your heart that this current obstacle shall pass and be nothing more than a distant memory and a reminder of just how strong and resilient you really are.

What's been stopping you lately from living your life?

CHANGE Is Always Just Around The Corner

Some of us spend a lot of time trying to figure life out. We try to anticipate what will come next so we can better prepare ourselves, but things are always changing. Sometimes change is a good thing and sometimes it can be overwhelming. Some changes are overdue and welcomed, others can send us into a tizzy and make us feel defensive.

I was speaking with a group of ladies the other day and we were discussing some of the current changes in our lives. Our schedules have become different. Some of our longtime holiday traditions are changing. Our routines are becoming different each year. A lot of these changes are to be expected as we get older, as our children grow up and have families of their own, and as our family dynamics change. These changes will take time and patience to grow accustomed to them, but we will need to find a way to accept the changes. 

Then there are the changes that turn our lives temporarily upside down. We lose a job as the companies we work for downsize or merge. We get an unwelcome diagnosis from our doctor. We unexpectedly lose a loved one. These are the kinds of changes that we aren't expecting and have no control over. We have no time to prepare ourselves; we are dealt a blow and left to deal with it. These changes will take time (sometimes it will take a long time and that's okay).

If you are facing a change that you feel is wrong or not in your best interest, it is okay to challenge it in a healthy and well thought out way (if you are in a position to). IF despite your best efforts the change still happens, you will need to find a way to accept it and move on. It's not healthy to hold on to the baggage it will leave behind or the strain on your shoulders. If nothing else, you will know in your heart that you did everything you could, that you tried to be a part of the solution. There's nothing worse than not being happy about something and then some day realizing that you never did anything constructive to try to cope with it.

While sitting with this group of ladies I was reminded of the serenity prayer.

Next time you are expected to welcome a change of some sort, remember this prayer. It always helps me to gain perspective, helps calm my nerves, and lessens the strain on my shoulders just enough to move forward.

Is there change in your life right now? A positive one or a negative one? How are you handling it and more importantly do you have a support system in place to help you deal with it? 

Keep in mind, the best thing we can do for someone else is after we ask them 'How are you doing?' be prepared to actually listen to their response.

Embrace Your Seasons

Our lives are a lot like the 4 seasons that we know so well. We have Spring when the trees are blooming and our spirit feels like it is slowly rejuvenating after a long, harsh Winter. In the Summer we feel alive with exercise and fresh air, and yet by the time Autumn  and its crimson and gold roll around we are ready to begin curling up in a cozy blanket.

Our lives and relationships also tend to go through changes, but that's o.k. We have different seasons in our lives: our youth, perhaps getting married or having our firstborn, our careers, and eventually our golden years. With each segment of our lives comes an array of responsibilities and new adventures. Realistically our journeys will overlap with those we are in relationships with. I remember years ago when I was first married; I was moving into a new season in my life while my friends were still in a different one. Suddenly we no longer had anything in common and drifted apart. Years later some of those relationships rejoined once our seasons overlapped.

We need to remember that people don't always choose to walk away from us - sometimes it's just the changing of a season. I'll admit I've sometimes had a difficult time with that. When my son was born I was 23 and one of the youngest moms in my neighborhood. When I had my daughter 9 years later and was 32 I was suddenly older then the other moms in her class. Our seasons were overlapping. Now both of my children are adults and I often struggle to know which group I fit in with.

So what do we do? We learn to embrace our seasons. We start to focus more on where we are and less where everyone else is. Let the others connect with us. We cannot change ourselves to mesh with others just as we cannot expect them to change for us. Our seasons are either in line with each other or they aren't. New relationships and adventures will appear if they are meant to be, but don't be so quick to move on past the old ones. A lot can be learned from them and they may just show up on your doorstep when you least expect them?

Have you ever experienced this? How did you get through it?