CHANGE Is Always Just Around The Corner

Some of us spend a lot of time trying to figure life out. We try to anticipate what will come next so we can better prepare ourselves, but things are always changing. Sometimes change is a good thing and sometimes it can be overwhelming. Some changes are overdue and welcomed, others can send us into a tizzy and make us feel defensive.

I was speaking with a group of ladies the other day and we were discussing some of the current changes in our lives. Our schedules have become different. Some of our longtime holiday traditions are changing. Our routines are becoming different each year. A lot of these changes are to be expected as we get older, as our children grow up and have families of their own, and as our family dynamics change. These changes will take time and patience to grow accustomed to them, but we will need to find a way to accept the changes. 

Then there are the changes that turn our lives temporarily upside down. We lose a job as the companies we work for downsize or merge. We get an unwelcome diagnosis from our doctor. We unexpectedly lose a loved one. These are the kinds of changes that we aren't expecting and have no control over. We have no time to prepare ourselves; we are dealt a blow and left to deal with it. These changes will take time (sometimes it will take a long time and that's okay).

If you are facing a change that you feel is wrong or not in your best interest, it is okay to challenge it in a healthy and well thought out way (if you are in a position to). IF despite your best efforts the change still happens, you will need to find a way to accept it and move on. It's not healthy to hold on to the baggage it will leave behind or the strain on your shoulders. If nothing else, you will know in your heart that you did everything you could, that you tried to be a part of the solution. There's nothing worse than not being happy about something and then some day realizing that you never did anything constructive to try to cope with it.

While sitting with this group of ladies I was reminded of the serenity prayer.

Next time you are expected to welcome a change of some sort, remember this prayer. It always helps me to gain perspective, helps calm my nerves, and lessens the strain on my shoulders just enough to move forward.

Is there change in your life right now? A positive one or a negative one? How are you handling it and more importantly do you have a support system in place to help you deal with it? 

Keep in mind, the best thing we can do for someone else is after we ask them 'How are you doing?' be prepared to actually listen to their response.

It Takes Time For A Change To Transition Into A New Norm

Right now we are in full swing of the holidays. We've shopped, we've wrapped, we've stood in lines, we've baked and cooked, and we've socialized. We've made it through Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and now it is the morning after. We're relaxing, we've attempted to tidy up our houses to regain a little bit of order. We will undoubtedly eat leftovers for the next few days until the time comes when someone cries out, 'I need a hamburger; no more ham, PLEASE.'

During the holidays, including up through New Years, we try to catch up with friends and neighbors, and have family gatherings. For some, the holidays have looked a little different this year. I know it has in our house. We had a wonderful Christmas Eve dinner, if I do say so myself, but it was still different. In years past we played host to a larger extended family or close friends, but this year it was just 3 of us. We prepared the same dishes, decorated the house, went to a candlelight worship service, and watched Christmas movies on the couch. We missed having our whole immediate family here with us, but we understand that life changes; kids get married, start families of their own, and start new traditions (that perhaps do not mesh with ours). A family member passed this year and wasn't part of our holiday routine, and another family member is now in a nursing care facility which created yet another change.

The 3 of us slept in on Christmas morning and went through the rest of our day at a slower, more meandering sort of speed. Now it is Monday and we are all feeling a little lost. We have a couple of days off and want to make the most of them, but also aren't sure what to do. I do not have the desire, nor the energy yet today, to go shopping. I may do a little bit of Internet research for the best way to spend a gift card and perhaps venture out on Wednesday, lol.

The thing is, there is A LOT of hype that gets us up to the holiday (holiday music on the radio for one), but nothing that tells us what to do the 'morning after'. This morning my husband told me he saw one of our neighbors already taking their outdoor lights down. What? Seriously? I'm not ready to go that far. We have an entire year in between the holidays; meaning that a lot of change can take place during those 12 months. Relationships can change, for good or bad. Families can become bigger; we may have added spouses or new babies. As our small corner of the world changes, so do our traditions and the way we do things to make life special. Changes can happen literally overnight, just ask someone who has lost someone unexpectedly. In order for changes to become the new normal, though, we will need time. Thankfully, there is no time limit for a change to transition into a new norm. It won't happen over night. We'll have old memories to consider and new memories to create.

So, first off, how was your Christmas? What made it special? What was new about it? What, if anything, changed for you?

What are you doing today on this 'day after'? What does the rest of your week look like? Anyone that knows me well knows that I am a planner, a scheduler extraordinaire. I worked at a frenzied pace the entire week before Christmas and now I have a little time off. I could be curling up with a book, watching a movie, or sitting in my retreat room facing my laptop (oh wait, that's exactly what I'm doing right now). The point is I still feel a bit lost. When you're always used to your calendar being full you suddenly aren't sure what to do with an open slot; sorry if that sounds as pathetic as it presently looks on my laptop screen.

What is my big point today? Only that if you've experienced a big change this year (or even a small one) that has you feeling a little out of sorts and a little lost, that's okay. Take as much time as you need to face those changes head on, to try to understand them better, to appreciate and digest them, and to learn to accept them for what they are (or aren't). Given the right amount of time, your changes will transition into your new norm. Your holiday, this year or next, can be whatever you want it to be.

What Is It About Change?

For every person who talks about change being a 'good' thing there will be someone standing right next to them who claims that change is 'bad'. So we ask ourselves, 'What is it about CHANGE that intimidates us? Or excites us? Or scares us? Or invigorates us?'

Change and transitions could be considered the same. We all have different seasons in our lives. Nothing is ever the same forever, and I'm not sure that I'd want it to be. There are those changes that we can predict and count on; growing up and growing older, growing wiser through experience, perhaps getting married, or even becoming a parent or a grandparent. These are all good changes. But you can take any good change and either embrace it or run from it. Most changes will come with choices. We always have some level of choice; how we want to interpret things and how we want to handle them.

 

I read a devotional the other day on the topic of change and it mentioned there being changes that make you want to shout for joy and other changes that make you want to run and hide. So, yes, I suppose some change can be good and some can be bad, BUT even the bad can contain some good. Ask anyone who has battled an illness or a breakup or has a lost a job. It may have been a devastatingly bad change at a particular time in their life, but time heals many wounds. Over time people may have become smarter or wiser or stronger because of what they went through. Life teaches us lessons if we are willing to be the student.

 

Whatever you do, don't let someone else define what change is for you. Only you can decide if it'll be good or bad. Only you get to decide how it will shape you and what you will take away from it.

 

What's been a recent change in your life? Did you get engaged? Did you become a parent? Did you become an empty nester? Did you change careers?

 

How's it going?

It's All About Change

Today has been a day about change. Last night we changed the clocks back an hour. I, for one, appreciated the extra hour this morning to get ready. 30 minutes of extra sleep and 30 minutes extra to get ready for church without rushing. 

Sometimes change can be good; other times not so much. Some people will say that if you do the same thing day in and day out you'll find yourself in a rut. Others might say that changing up the routine will keep things fresh and exciting. I guess that depends on whether you're a 'glass is half empty or half full' kind of person.

There are the changes that we choose for ourselves like which job will we take, which house will we live in, which outfit we will wear, and which person will we choose to marry. Then there are also the changes that we have no control over ... Daylight Savings Time (lol), having to pay taxes, being diagnosed with a disease, or having someone run a red light and come into our lane.

Some changes we will embrace and grow from, others will be be thrown right at us and we will do nothing more than try to cope with them. Those are the tricky ones. Trying to make important decisions that we don't want to make and keeping our heads above water. It can be tiring and heartbreaking at the same time.

This morning, though, the church I attend began a new chapter. We have a new pastor which is a change in itself. I was glad to see a worship center that was full once again. There was a definite sense of community and a high level of energy. It was good. I pray that people will embrace this change as a positive one.

What kind of changes are you presently dealing with? Are they good changes or bad? Do you feel like you're adjusting to them or are you hanging on by your finger tips?

CHANGE: Friend or Foe?

'CHANGE' ... Are you the kind of person who gets bored with things and is always seeking a 'change'? I don't just mean wanting a new hair style or new clothes for the next season. I mean bigger, more daunting life changes. Some people welcome change with open arms and actually go looking for it. Then there are others who work really hard to create a comfort zone; a place they can count on where they know what to expect, a place with few surprises. Life is always presenting us with challenges and change; sometimes good and sometimes not so good.

I guess I'm a middle of the fence kind of gal. Some times I welcome change, it can keep things interesting and fresh. Then there are those times when someone else decides to make a change for us because for whatever reason they get to dictate what is supposedly good for us (not that they always ask us). It's those times when many of us suddenly find ourselves on the defensive (like when the government starts to dictate our health plan choices, the economy forces us to make decisions we shouldn't have to make, or a school or job suddenly changes their expectations).

There are many things in our lives we can plan or try to oversee, but there are even more things in our lives that we have absolutely no control over whatsoever. That power is often just out of our reach and ultimately in God's hands. That in itself can be comforting, but since we're still human many of us are going to continue to struggle. We try to gain a better understanding of the 'whys' and 'why nots', but that can sometimes be really difficult.

So the question remains 'is change a friend or a foe?' Some change is healthy and some not so much. If a change has a solid purpose perhaps it stands a chance, BUT if someone presents you with a change just because they're bored or have their own agenda is that reason enough to force the change on you? I don't think so. I'm still of the mindset that God gave me a mind and voice. He didn't bless me with it so that someone else could choose how and when they would speak for me. Do I still want to hear the Pledge of Allegiance said in schools? -  you bet I do. Do I still want to hear people mention God in prayers in public places? - absolutely! There are a lot of 'changes' I see everyday that make me want to curl up and cry in disappointment, while fortunately others give me a glimmer of hope that there is still good out there in the world.

It's a Monday, what can I say? I blog, I vent,  I get to say what's on MY mind. Today, right now at this exact moment no one gets to speak for me, make a choice for me, or CHANGE what's in my heart. It's a good day.