I Don't Understand

Yesterday my pastor spoke in his sermon (with a reference to Matthew 21:23-32) about when 'we don't know why ...' You can fill in the blank with just about anything. We don't know WHY someone behaves the way they do, so we judge and assume. We don't know WHY one person works for a living and another steals. When we don't understand the WHY of an issue, we find ourselves looking for a valid explanation. The fact of the matter is that people make choices. Sometimes they are the only ones affected and others not. There are some simple explanations, but many explanations aren't to be found.

In today's society I find myself saying, 'I DON"T UNDERSTAND'. Very similar to wanting to know the WHY, but it goes deeper for me. I go to church regularly, I read my bible, and I pray ... daily. My faith is very important to me. I choose not to push it on other people. I choose to respect our differences, but it goes deep down to the core of my being. There are days when I read headlines and listen to people offer their non-expertise opinions on everything from why the sun comes up to why football players take a knee before a sporting event to why someone would wake up and decide to shoot hundreds of complete strangers they never met. Many people are more than eager to add needless fuel to the fire and site their right to freedom of expression. Yes, we do HAVE freedoms, but with those freedoms should also come respect and responsibilities. I will never get all the WHY answers that I seek, but I will still struggle with not understanding the motives behind the actions. I am always seeking the 'thing' that will make some sort of sense out of a situation.

Sure, some people will say that if there truly is a God WHY would he allow the bad things to happen; the hurricanes, the earthquakes, the tornadoes, and the mudslides. These are natural disasters and scientists will continue to argue their specific causes and effects. Then there are the human-related bad things that sadly take place daily.

I will never fully understand why there has to be war; sure I understand the need for laws, and rights and wrongs, and protecting each other and our country, our rights and our freedoms. But I struggle some days with how it ever got so bad. I see so many soldiers give their lives and their livelihoods for our country, for us; but am saddened when the respect is not there and when one task is accomplished a new problem always seems to arise.

I will never understand why there has to be poverty and sickness, and so much hatred.

What can I do? That is constantly on my mind. I want to be part of a solution, not part of the problem. I don't want to spread hatred, innuendos, false information, or gossip. I will continue to wake up each day, not knowing what it holds. I will continue to pray for peace, for less homelessness, for more practical solutions, and for hope. It would be so easy in today's world to live in fear; fear of being in a car accident because someone else chooses to text or drink while driving, fear of being a victim of someone else's random craziness for the day, fear of watching the world pit itself against each other, fear of getting sick, or fear of losing a loved one.

I worry enough about everything. I worry for myself, for my family, and for people I don't even know. I worry about a lot, but I refuse to live in fear of the things I cannot control. It is tough, especially with everything that is out there - but I try. I will get up tomorrow. I will continue to pray for myself and others. I will continue to try to be nice and accepting and kind to everyone I meet. I will lean on my faith and hope for better days.

What things do you find yourself struggling with and trying to understand better?

Blind Faith

We are often faced with situations and circumstances that we weren't planning for; the loss of a loved one, a traffic accident, an unwanted diagnosis, a pregnancy we were hoping for, a surprise visit from a friend. Not all situations or circumstances are bad, or even unwanted. Yet, they can still catch us by surprise. The question is ... how do we react when we come face to face with them? Do we welcome the situations with open arms or do we question everything about them? WHY is something happening? WHO will it affect? WHEN will we have the answers we feel we need to go forward? HOW will we handle it? WILL it be a good thing?

 

We go on Blind Faith. Blind, not just because we can't see the answers in front of us in a clear black and white, but because we believe that God will walk alongside of us and give us the tools we need to deal with it; whether that be patience, knowledge, or strength.

 

Faith is something that is bigger than we are, stronger than we are, goes deeper into our hearts than what can sometimes make us feel comfortable, and yet, has an unending supply. Faith is what we choose to make of it. It's free. It doesn't have to cost us a thing, other than being humble and perhaps vulnerable when we don't want to be. The cost is up to us. How much do we want to invest in our faith? Faith isn't something someone else can give us, rather we need to accept it on our own. Others can certainly share theirs with us and show us the possibilities, but ultimately faith will always be our own personal choice.

 

How is your faith these days? Does is keep you strong and steady? Does it waiver in its stability on certain days? More importantly, what can you do to strengthen it?

 

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understandings; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.'

CHANGE: Friend or Foe?

'CHANGE' ... Are you the kind of person who gets bored with things and is always seeking a 'change'? I don't just mean wanting a new hair style or new clothes for the next season. I mean bigger, more daunting life changes. Some people welcome change with open arms and actually go looking for it. Then there are others who work really hard to create a comfort zone; a place they can count on where they know what to expect, a place with few surprises. Life is always presenting us with challenges and change; sometimes good and sometimes not so good.

I guess I'm a middle of the fence kind of gal. Some times I welcome change, it can keep things interesting and fresh. Then there are those times when someone else decides to make a change for us because for whatever reason they get to dictate what is supposedly good for us (not that they always ask us). It's those times when many of us suddenly find ourselves on the defensive (like when the government starts to dictate our health plan choices, the economy forces us to make decisions we shouldn't have to make, or a school or job suddenly changes their expectations).

There are many things in our lives we can plan or try to oversee, but there are even more things in our lives that we have absolutely no control over whatsoever. That power is often just out of our reach and ultimately in God's hands. That in itself can be comforting, but since we're still human many of us are going to continue to struggle. We try to gain a better understanding of the 'whys' and 'why nots', but that can sometimes be really difficult.

So the question remains 'is change a friend or a foe?' Some change is healthy and some not so much. If a change has a solid purpose perhaps it stands a chance, BUT if someone presents you with a change just because they're bored or have their own agenda is that reason enough to force the change on you? I don't think so. I'm still of the mindset that God gave me a mind and voice. He didn't bless me with it so that someone else could choose how and when they would speak for me. Do I still want to hear the Pledge of Allegiance said in schools? -  you bet I do. Do I still want to hear people mention God in prayers in public places? - absolutely! There are a lot of 'changes' I see everyday that make me want to curl up and cry in disappointment, while fortunately others give me a glimmer of hope that there is still good out there in the world.

It's a Monday, what can I say? I blog, I vent,  I get to say what's on MY mind. Today, right now at this exact moment no one gets to speak for me, make a choice for me, or CHANGE what's in my heart. It's a good day.