A Reflection of 2020

2020 has been unique in many ways. It definitely has not been the year to say you achieved this goal or that goal; took the vacation you wanted and planned for, got the new job or promotion you were working toward, or now have the new relationship you were hoping you'd have (unless you managed to pull off an outdoor Covid wedding).

Looking back as we get ready to close out 2020 you'll see it has been a year when we learned to appreciate the milestones. 

• Working from home and adapting to a new schedule that involved virtual learning for your children or working at your office (often alone) and finding ways to accept the new sense of loneliness.
• You mastered zoom meetings and online family gatherings.
• You learned not to take time for granted, but appreciate the moments more.
• You may have realized and had to accept some friendships/relationships for what they were and more importantly what they weren't.

2020 has been the year when I learned to paint, people found and invested time in new hobbies, and we arranged garage and backyard socially-distanced small gatherings. Many people learned to look beyond themselves and do things not just for themselves, but for the greater good of those around them. We learned to deal with our sense of patience and understanding (or lack of) when we discovered we had to be more creative in the ways we saw and did things.

Maybe we will look back at 2020 as a year filled with self-discovery; a time when we what saw what depths of strength we really had.

Flipping the calendar to 2021 won't change life overnight - it won't eliminate any losses we've faced, lessen any grieving, or miraculously make things 'normal' again. It will be a sign that we are survivors and ready for a new year, hopefully one filled with newfound hope, resilience, and a renewed faith.

What is something you discovered about yourself during 2020?

The Search Continues

Everyone I talk to you lately seems to be on edge about the weather. We feel like spring should be here, along with its sunny skies and warmer temperatures. Instead we've continued to experience rain, snow, icy roads, sleet, cold temperatures, and blowing winds. Do I sound like a broken record? I think so.

A lot of people are complaining, as if that will help or even make the sun come out any sooner including a certain weatherman out of Grand Rapids, MI. You know people are getting tired of the same old forecast when the weatherman goes on an on-air rant about how his co-workers are cranky and starting to blame him, etc. He was feeling a lot of weight on his shoulders and apparently a lot of blame. Negativity can take its toll on anyone.

Personally, I feel like I've been monitoring the Weather Channel app on my phone a lot more lately, as if I can point to the sky and say, 'Stop snowing, my app radar isn't showing any precipitation!' However, watching and waiting for the app forecast to change also gives me hope ... hope that the temperatures will climb up and surpass 50 degrees, hope that the sun will come out and stay, and hope that there will begin to be a pattern of weather niceness. Hope can go a long way in lifting someone's spirits.

I have no doubt that spring will come. It may be short once it arrives and we may breeze right through it and go straight to summer, but it will come. With it will come a sense of excitement, a certain thrill, a certain anticipation of good things; not to mention I will be happy to pack away my wool socks, my boots, my winter coats, and my neck scarves. In their place will be sandals, sneakers with no socks, short sleeves, and baseball caps. Yes, lots of good things will come.

What are you most looking forward to with spring and summer?

Blind Faith

We are often faced with situations and circumstances that we weren't planning for; the loss of a loved one, a traffic accident, an unwanted diagnosis, a pregnancy we were hoping for, a surprise visit from a friend. Not all situations or circumstances are bad, or even unwanted. Yet, they can still catch us by surprise. The question is ... how do we react when we come face to face with them? Do we welcome the situations with open arms or do we question everything about them? WHY is something happening? WHO will it affect? WHEN will we have the answers we feel we need to go forward? HOW will we handle it? WILL it be a good thing?

 

We go on Blind Faith. Blind, not just because we can't see the answers in front of us in a clear black and white, but because we believe that God will walk alongside of us and give us the tools we need to deal with it; whether that be patience, knowledge, or strength.

 

Faith is something that is bigger than we are, stronger than we are, goes deeper into our hearts than what can sometimes make us feel comfortable, and yet, has an unending supply. Faith is what we choose to make of it. It's free. It doesn't have to cost us a thing, other than being humble and perhaps vulnerable when we don't want to be. The cost is up to us. How much do we want to invest in our faith? Faith isn't something someone else can give us, rather we need to accept it on our own. Others can certainly share theirs with us and show us the possibilities, but ultimately faith will always be our own personal choice.

 

How is your faith these days? Does is keep you strong and steady? Does it waiver in its stability on certain days? More importantly, what can you do to strengthen it?

 

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understandings; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.'

God Will Give You The Faith You Need

Life can be joyous, stressful, overwhelming, exciting, exhilarating, sad, whimsical ... and the list of adjectives can go on and on. That's A LOT to deal with on any day. Such a wide range of emotions and responsibilities. So how do you grasp the courage and the patience to accomplish the things you think you're not strong enough or big enough for? You have faith.

Don't get me wrong, it's not always easy to have faith. Sometimes we need to dig really deep to boost our confidence. We may need to hear other people reinforce us; telling us 'we have what it takes' and that 'we can do it' (whatever IT is). We're human. We all have doubts.

For a teenager you might be trying to convince yourself that it's worth trying one more time to go to school; that maybe today will be the day the bullies leave you alone.

For a young mother you might be thinking that you'll never get any sleep or be the size 8 you used to be before you had your baby.

For the person with an addiction you may be wondering 'what is your rock bottom'? How low will you have to go before you realize you need to change your choices and your life? And will there be anybody left in your corner to help you once you finally make that choice?

 

We all have daily hurdles; time restraints, traffic, parenting, our jobs, etc. We all have life hurdles; will we find the one special person to spend the rest of our lives with, will we ever lose the 10-15 pounds that will undoubtedly make us healthier, will we ever achieve basic financial security, or will we ever accomplish our hopes and dreams?

 

I don't pretend to have all the answers or claim that I have my life completely figured out and exactly the way I want it, but I do have faith. Faith that I fought cancer and can live another day. Faith that my husband is loyal and loves me. Faith that while I may not be a perfect parent, I am the best parent that I know how to be right now. And I have faith that God knows my needs better than I do and He will give me the strength, courage, and patience I need to get through whatever life throws at me.

 

How about you? Could you use an extra dose of faith today? What hurdle are you currently trying to get over?

Thanks for Listening (Again)

Sometimes I try to think of something new and fresh to share with you. Sometimes I'm inspired and often I like to go back into my archives and see what I may have shared before. Many of you have been devoted readers for quite some time and I'm happy to say many of you are new to my blog. Below is an entry I wrote back in October 2009 when the idea of blogging was VERY new to me. Sometimes 'new' isn't always better, sometimes it's just new. I thought this entry was worth sharing again.

Thanks for Listening

‘Turn your ear to listen to me …

Be my rock of protection, a fortress where I will be safe.’

~ Psalm 31:2

Autumn is officially here. The trees are slowly displaying their brilliant shades of oranges, reds and yellows; and yes … I think it may be nearing the time to turn our furnaces on (if you haven’t already). Autumn is a good example of the changing seasons, but it can also be a reminder for us of how our lives (like the weather) also change throughout the year.

It used to be that there were lots of people who were older than me and who knew so much more than I did. Nowadays, it seems like there are so many more people younger than I am. Unfortunately, I don’t feel like I have near as much wisdom as my elders seemed to have had when I was 10, 20, 30 or even 40. There is a small group of people that I do go to for advice – my husband, my sister, a co-worker, and a few select friends who will always remind me that they are merely ‘a phone call away’. In my current season (or this stage in my life) I often find myself just wanting to say what’s on my mind. I’ll convince myself that I’ve thought the situation through and the possible solutions. I’ll even convince myself that I have all the answers and don’t need anyone’s advice. The results, however, never seem to be what I thought they would. I find that what I really needed was the opportunity to talk with someone else … or better yet ‘VENT’. I’ve learned that most people will be willing to listen to your problems or concerns for a while, but eventually when your problems become repetitive they’ll unintentionally tune you out. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve known people in my life who when I saw them coming I would try to avoid them or discourage their conversations, because I either felt uncomfortable listening or just didn’t have the time or desire to listen to their newest variation of their woes. They are good reminders to me about keeping my own attitude and conversations positive.

But while it may be important to try and keep a positive outlook, it can also be just as important to have that safe opportunity to talk to someone you trust and be able to vent (without the fear of being judged over how you might be feeling). Venting, however, should NEVER be used as a ploy to try to persuade your ‘listener’ to go along with your argument or way of thinking. There should always be mutual respect. My favorite listeners are my husband and a few special friends. If God gave out gold stars for good deeds, these people would have plenty.

I came across a health website this week where a woman’s blog was being featured. She was a fibromyalgia patient who talked about the need to be able to vent when she wasn't feeling well. She needed to be able to openly admit that she hurt and was in constant pain, without someone telling her that she was complaining.

I don’t think anyone would disagree that this past year has been a rough one for many people. We all know someone (if not ourselves) who has had to deal with something big this year. For some it’s been their health, losing or trying to hold on to their job, personal family struggles, finances, or yes … even their faith.

Each of us needs to be able to vent when we need it. More importantly we all need to have someone who is willing to listen; someone who won’t judge us, try to tell us what is right or wrong, how we should be feeling, how we should act or what we should say. A good listener won’t give you preachy advice. They won’t say ‘I know how you feel’. Mostly they will just listen, really listen. They will ask you just enough questions to get you to open up about what’s really on your mind, and then they’ll let you do all the talking. In return, when they really need to talk, we can try to do a good job in the reversed role and be just as good and patient at listening, always remembering the mutual respect.

My advice to you … find a few good listeners with whom you can feel safe to let things out. Have a private conversation. Then, return the favor. I certainly don’t mean to sound like Pollyanna, but if I've learned one thing as I've gotten older it’s how to be a better listener. When you really stop to think about it, isn't that what every human being wants … to be listened to and affirmed?

Thanks for listening.

‘Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.’
~ Proverbs 12:15

Why are some decisions harder than others?

Today I entered a Facebook post that simply asked 'Why do we struggle with decisions some days more than others?' A friend responded rather quickly suggesting that it would make a good 'Insights Are Blooming' topic. Well, there you go ... talk about inspiration.

Decisions can come in all shapes and sizes and sometimes with a lot of strings attached. Some decisions are what I like to call 'no-brainers', while trying to make other decisions often cause us to lose sleep. Those are the difficult life-changing ones. I don't think there is a one of us who doesn't have to make at least one decision a day ... our lives are overflowing with choices. What should we wear to work today? What should we pack in our child's school lunch (that we hope they will actually eat)? Should we put time aside this week to actually call that friend or relative who is still waiting to hear from us? Should we plan a vacation or stick close to home? Should we downsize our home when our kids are grown and out of the house? Should we hold on to hope and try the medical treatment that might save our life? Should we retire or continue working for another year or two?

Everyone's 'choices' that are currently weighing them down may or may not be just like those of the person next to you. We often think we are faced with decisions that no one else could possibly understand. We often feel alone. At the same time, we just might be more like the person standing next to us than we thought. Making serious decisions can be difficult. Of course, we need to do our research and weigh all of our options. Be thorough, but in the end trust yourself.

What was your most recent decision (serious or trivial)?