It's A New Year

So here we are; a couple of weeks into a new year. Does 2022 seem any different to you so far compared to 2021? Not too much, huh? We made it through the Christmas and New Year's holidays. Hopefully you had a little down time, some family time, some time to recharge and re-evaluate, and some time spent just for you. 

New Year's is a good time for reflection. How did you fare in 2021? Did you accomplish some of things you set out to do? Did you do some planning for your future; perhaps some career goals, relationship goals, or health related goals? Realize that any goals you set for yourself are long-term. We're only 2 weeks into the new year, don't expect to have set the world on fire just yet. Allow yourself some grace (or maybe a lot). Goals are journeys and journeys are achieved one step at a time. Don't be in a rush. Don't think that just because we put a new, clean calendar on the fridge that we should have everything done or on its way. We have lots of time ahead of us. Take your goals and chop them up into smaller goals; less pressure and more achievable.

Maybe 2022 won't be the year you get the promotion you were hoping for, or win the lotto, or start the new business you've been dreaming about ... but that's okay. Maybe 2022 will be the year the Covid pandemic finally ends, maybe we'll quit using the term 'getting back to normal' (since many of us have forgotten exactly what that was), maybe we'll decide on a new normal that we like better - one that has a better life balance, maybe we'll plan the family reunion that kept getting postponed ... lots of maybes.

It's only January, perhaps our focus right now should just be about discovering our course and taking the first step - whatever that looks like for you.

I wish you a new year filled with less stress and anxieties, better sleep, some home cooked meals, and more time with family and friends (whether that be in-person or phone calls or texts). Find what works for you right now but make an effort to stay connected. One of the worst side effects of the pandemic that I've seen has been self-isolation. We want to be smart, we want to be careful, but we also can't get too comfortable being alone. It's human nature to need other people. When someone invites you to lunch, go! You can pick a time that is less crowded and still be smart and careful about it. We have to remember that we still need to live. We still need to nourish our souls with companionship and laughter. We can be serious and human at the same time. It's all about good choices and balance.

I say GO FOR IT! Make 2022 the year that you want or 'need' it to be.

Any plans you want to share? Might inspire the rest of us.

Remembering 2021

This is the time of year when we either recap our year or make resolutions (or some may say 'empty promises') for the upcoming one. For many, either task can be daunting. But looking back at the last 21 months in general has been an overall dud with Covid and the many changes it brought into our lives. If we look hard enough though amidst the chaos there will always be the pearls of goodness mixed in, those are the things we need to focus on.

I can certainly acknowledge the loneliness, sickness, lack of financial security, relationship strains, and uncertainties that came with Covid for many people. There's no denying the by-products brought on by the pandemic. But there has also been goodness. There's been in an increase in quality family time spent together, dinners and conversations together around the table, new found hobbies, clean closets, and probably an increase in the sales of sweats and yoga pants.

What did my 2021 look like? That's a tough one. I witnessed a lot of loss this year for myself and others. I lost a neighbor at my office (the one who brought me tomatoes and flowers from his garden), I lost a dear friend from my small group who always lifted our spirits, I lost a long time co-worker who was a friend and a fill-in father figure, I lost a brother-in-law who always let me sample the turkey first on Thanksgiving and sneak veggies onto his plate, my mother passed a few weeks ago, and most recently a family friend ... two of these were as a result of Covid. Neverless Covid did dictate to us how and when we were allowed to grieve.

Amidst the unexpected sadness that came each time, 2021 was also the year I completed three paintings and started a fourth, completed reading 14 books (a big accomplishment for me), had a healthy flower garden, welcomed a beautiful, healthy grandson into our family, and worked harder than ever to keep my head and my heart in a good place. 

It's been a year of changes and challenges for a lot of people. Will I make any resolutions for 2022; lose that dreaded 10#, travel more, start writing my book? Definitely not! I will, though, try to continue to build on the foundation I have been slowly building for myself; one that includes taking better care of myself, both physically and mentally. After that, who knows. Maybe 2022 will bring an end to Covid, a delayed family reunion, a little more writing, and better sleep. Whatever comes my way will be a blessing and I will embrace the opportunities for what they are.

How about you?

How would you summarize your 2021?

Do you make any resolutions and if so, what will you hope to accomplish in 2022?

Ringing In A New Year

2020 was a year so different than any I remember in my lifetime. It was a year filled with fear, anxiety, a pandemic, uncertainties, inconveniences, hatred from strangers (and people we knew), a nasty election (well that part wasn't so different, they usually resume every four years), lots of worries, and searching for answers. It seemed like everyone was ready in full force to be done with 2020 and start fresh with a new year. I am on board with that notion, not because I know that switching the calendar to January 1st will necessarily change anything overnight, but mentally I am ready to start fresh with the HOPE of better things to come with the new year.

I asked readers what they were looking forward to in 2021 and got answers like 'some sense of normalcy', 'being able to see family and friends more', 'scheduling some of the events and activities that we cancelled last year'. It's normal that we miss being in church (and yes, I know that some churches have been meeting anyway; a service for maskers and one for non-maskers - that's a little hard for me to wrap my brain around). People miss gathering in groups larger than 2 or 3. We miss going to lunch with people outside our own household and talking for hours. We miss going to a hockey game or a baseball game. We miss going to a movie theatre and having more than a few people there and being able to purchase overpriced snacks while we're there. We miss travelling and planning our next adventure.

Me? I miss wearing lipstick! I miss seeing my small group in person on a regular basis. I miss the hugs. I miss eating a meal out. I'm tired of ordering a carryout when the order is wrong 50% of the time. I miss the human contact. I miss seeing smiles, or frowns (any sort of visual communication).

Usually on January 1st I'd write about what my goals are and what I hope to accomplish in the coming year. Today feels different. Instead, I have been reflecting on 2020 and thinking about how I reacted to the obstacles. Did I handle things well or could I have done better? What did I learn about myself that might help me be stronger in 2021?

I spoke with someone the other day and they reminded me that as busy and as different as life has been this past year, that I matter too (something I tend to forget too often). It's my nature to be the caregiver, the organizer, the mediator, the one who puts out potential fires, and the good listener. I have 57 years of experience of putting other people's needs first. That needs to change. I spent so much time in 2020 putting myself in overdrive to accommodate everyone else, that I let a part of myself slip away. The ironic thing is that very few people even noticed because their needs were being met so they just assumed I had it all together, Truth be told, none of us have it all together, some of us are just really good at hiding it. This year I need to let some things go. I need to ask other people to do their share, rather than taking it all on myself. I need to speak up more for myself. If I don't like what I see or hear, I need to worry less about people's reactions to my opinions. Why should everyone else get to voice their thoughts, but I feel like I just have to play along? I've never liked conflict and usually avoid it all costs. I've learned that when you hold parts of yourself back for too long, then those parts will either overflow into a noisy messy situation or they'll dissolve along with a part of what makes you who you are.

Let 2021 not be all about making more money or losing more weight. Let it be the year that you fully examine who YOU are and embrace it. If by doing so it causes a little discomfort with people in your life, then that's okay. You can't do everything for everybody else forever. Maybe by me learning to stand up more for myself, other people in my life will learn that they're capable of standing a little stronger as well.

How are you feeling about 2021?

A Reflection of 2020

2020 has been unique in many ways. It definitely has not been the year to say you achieved this goal or that goal; took the vacation you wanted and planned for, got the new job or promotion you were working toward, or now have the new relationship you were hoping you'd have (unless you managed to pull off an outdoor Covid wedding).

Looking back as we get ready to close out 2020 you'll see it has been a year when we learned to appreciate the milestones. 

• Working from home and adapting to a new schedule that involved virtual learning for your children or working at your office (often alone) and finding ways to accept the new sense of loneliness.
• You mastered zoom meetings and online family gatherings.
• You learned not to take time for granted, but appreciate the moments more.
• You may have realized and had to accept some friendships/relationships for what they were and more importantly what they weren't.

2020 has been the year when I learned to paint, people found and invested time in new hobbies, and we arranged garage and backyard socially-distanced small gatherings. Many people learned to look beyond themselves and do things not just for themselves, but for the greater good of those around them. We learned to deal with our sense of patience and understanding (or lack of) when we discovered we had to be more creative in the ways we saw and did things.

Maybe we will look back at 2020 as a year filled with self-discovery; a time when we what saw what depths of strength we really had.

Flipping the calendar to 2021 won't change life overnight - it won't eliminate any losses we've faced, lessen any grieving, or miraculously make things 'normal' again. It will be a sign that we are survivors and ready for a new year, hopefully one filled with newfound hope, resilience, and a renewed faith.

What is something you discovered about yourself during 2020?