Time For A New Normal

This week marks two years since our lives and how we lived them took a drastic turn due to Covid. For twenty-four months we've masked and unmasked, had the option to vaccinate or not, lost loved ones from either Covid or something else, or felt sheltered and isolated. We had to change how we lived our lives. We had to make some pretty tough choices.

For two years we've heard people say, 'I can't wait til things get back to normal'. For some scenarios that would be nice, but I think we've all changed a little during the last two years. Some have dug their heels in, some have isolated themselves even more than what was necessary. Some reached out and made more phone calls to family and friends. Many families have had more meals together.

Pre-Covid many people I knew were always busy, too busy for family, too busy for friends, too busy to stop and say hello, too busy for game nights and BBQs. As we're now adjusting to taking our masks off more and sitting next to people in church and restaurants and movie theatres, we need to take a minute and reflect. As we move forward now with baby steps it's a golden opportunity to decide what we want our lives to look like. Do we want to go back to the old NORMAL when we always found ourselves too busy and packing too much into our days? Do we want to make sure going forward we incorporate more ME time into our schedules? 

If I've learned nothing else during the last two years it's that it is very easy to get overwhelmed, overworked, and overstressed. I need to make sure I don't ignore the mental health signs and put myself right back on the treadmill of life that I so desperately wanted a break from. Now I will make sure I make time for reading the new library book, painting the new canvas, and listening to a new playlist. I'll continue to reach out to my kids and grandkids more often whether by texting or calling or driving out for the monthly outing filled with hugs and new memories.

What have you discovered about yourself over the last two years? 

Something new that calms and rejuvenates you? 

Something you didn't make enough time for before but will now?

Remembering 2021

This is the time of year when we either recap our year or make resolutions (or some may say 'empty promises') for the upcoming one. For many, either task can be daunting. But looking back at the last 21 months in general has been an overall dud with Covid and the many changes it brought into our lives. If we look hard enough though amidst the chaos there will always be the pearls of goodness mixed in, those are the things we need to focus on.

I can certainly acknowledge the loneliness, sickness, lack of financial security, relationship strains, and uncertainties that came with Covid for many people. There's no denying the by-products brought on by the pandemic. But there has also been goodness. There's been in an increase in quality family time spent together, dinners and conversations together around the table, new found hobbies, clean closets, and probably an increase in the sales of sweats and yoga pants.

What did my 2021 look like? That's a tough one. I witnessed a lot of loss this year for myself and others. I lost a neighbor at my office (the one who brought me tomatoes and flowers from his garden), I lost a dear friend from my small group who always lifted our spirits, I lost a long time co-worker who was a friend and a fill-in father figure, I lost a brother-in-law who always let me sample the turkey first on Thanksgiving and sneak veggies onto his plate, my mother passed a few weeks ago, and most recently a family friend ... two of these were as a result of Covid. Neverless Covid did dictate to us how and when we were allowed to grieve.

Amidst the unexpected sadness that came each time, 2021 was also the year I completed three paintings and started a fourth, completed reading 14 books (a big accomplishment for me), had a healthy flower garden, welcomed a beautiful, healthy grandson into our family, and worked harder than ever to keep my head and my heart in a good place. 

It's been a year of changes and challenges for a lot of people. Will I make any resolutions for 2022; lose that dreaded 10#, travel more, start writing my book? Definitely not! I will, though, try to continue to build on the foundation I have been slowly building for myself; one that includes taking better care of myself, both physically and mentally. After that, who knows. Maybe 2022 will bring an end to Covid, a delayed family reunion, a little more writing, and better sleep. Whatever comes my way will be a blessing and I will embrace the opportunities for what they are.

How about you?

How would you summarize your 2021?

Do you make any resolutions and if so, what will you hope to accomplish in 2022?

Feeling Overloaded Lately?

Many people are starting to experience the most recent changes of the Covid-19 pandemic. For the past fifteen months we've had many restrictions here in my home state of Michigan. We've worn masks in public, many of us have gotten the vaccine, and we've had capacity limits wherever we went ... not too mention the various restrictions of work, church, and school environments.

This past week I have been experiencing my most recent change. I've had my vaccine so I've started going into public places without wearing my mask. Yikes! That was a BIG step toward adjusting to life after being mandated for more than year to wear one. I'm probably a little late showing up to the party, so to speak, as others have been dining inside restaurants and going maskless for a while. I was feeling paranoid and waiting for either lightning to strike or someone to yell at me with an accusatory voice judging me for my actions. I had to remind myself that being able to resume some normality in my life was why I made the choice to be vaccinated in the first place and yet here I was still feeling anxious.

In the last four days I have been inside a funeral home once (with people I didn't know), inside two different churches for two different funeral services (with some people I did know), inside a restaurant without wearing a mask (with a large group of people), to an indoor family gathering, and inside a grocery store without a mask.

What did I experience? The good, the bad, and the in between. I saw people's faces I haven't seen in a long time, I hugged family and friends, I laughed a little, I cried a lot, I slept very little, and I experienced what I call socialization overload. I haven't been around that many people for quite a while. At times I felt like I was jumping into the deep end of the pool without a life jacket. Not a good feeling, but just like being in the pool as soon as you get used to the temperature of the water and start to tread with your legs your confidence starts to return,

What have you experienced during the pandemic (or as we're coming out of it) that felt different?

What have you learned about yourself?

Are People Losing Interest?

It's been more than a year since everyone's lives changed dramatically due to the Covid pandemic. Our schedules and daily routines changed, where we work from changed for some (now the make-shift home office or dining room table), what we wear while we work changed (forget the khakis - it's all about jeans and leggings and t-shirts), our eating habits changed (with the occasional treat of picking up a carry out), and some of us saw some different numbers appearing on our bathroom scale. 

We've learned to adapt and adjust when necessary. We had to temporarily quit doing some of the things we always liked to do; social gatherings, going to church in-person, birthday parties, etc. Some things are starting to return to our routines, but slowly and in ways that seem a little different. Restaurants can offer indoor dining, but with a 50% capacity. We still wear face masks where required. We've started going back to church with socially distanced pews, but we miss sharing the peace and giving hugs ... but we'll get there.

As things have changed we have to wonder how much WE have changed in the process. I've heard it said that once you do something OR not do something for three weeks it becomes a habit. It makes you wonder if people will get too used to their new routines and the dos and don'ts that were thrust upon them. Will they lose interest in the things and people that once meant so much to them? Will previous extroverts now become introverts because it's easier? Or will we understand that the changes were merely choices we were forced to make and be willing to go back to our previous 'normal'?

Right or wrong, I have now had both doses of my Covid vaccine and waited out my two week post-shot period. I'm sure that the first time I meet up with other friends who are also vaccinated without a mask will seem a little apprehensive and risky; kind of like taking the leap into the deep waters of the pool. We'll just have to hold our breath and do it to get past it.

I have faith that with time we will get past it and remember our former selves. It's the only choice I have because I refuse to adapt to a 'new normal' with no timeline. I want more than that for all of us. We deserve more than that. I will continue to make the best choices I can for myself and my family and hope that it will be enough.

What is the biggest thing you've missed during the pandemic?

Have you resumed doing anything specific and how was it for you?

The Hope Of Spring

We've had primarily great weather over the last week. We've had days filled with blue skies and sunshine, afternoons with a slight breeze, and thanks to the time change evenings with extended daylight offering up opportunities for a walk after dinner. Of course, it's still Michigan weather so with this time of year anything goes. The temperatures could change 25 degrees during a 24-hour period. Nonetheless now that we are officially entering the spring season, I find myself hopeful.

The winter was a long one, perhaps due to the pandemic and limited visits with friends and family. Outdoor dining and driveway visits just weren't happening unless you waved at a neighbor while shoveling snow off of the sidewalk.

Spring brings Lent, renewed hope, and an array of opportunities. I find my spirits lifted when I get to leave my desk in the late afternoon and take a walk around the parking lot. Working in a church has been extremely lonely these past twelve months with having the majority of our ministries and services being held virtually. Technology is great when it works, but there's nothing like actually seeing people in person. We aren't quite to the hugging stage, but we will get there. We miss social interaction. We miss human contact. We miss verbal communication in person.

In the autumn we have cider mills, pumpkin patches, Thanksgiving and Christmas to look forward to (even though this past season was limited). But once we get into January and February in Michigan the days can seem darker; it's dark when I leave for work and dark when I return home and pull my car into the garage. Yet, we are resilient and we've learned to get through it. Now spring is here and there is a renewed sense of hope; more daylight, slightly warmer temperatures, and outdoor walks again.

If you're still feeling dragged down (physically or emotionally) from the winter, know that you are definitely not alone. Walk with me and take some baby steps that will help you re-engage. Do a little spring cleaning. Make some plans for the summer; plan a getaway that you feel comfortable with, think of some ideas and ways to spruce up your landscaping, or simply take a walk and look for inspiration. Last week I found myself walking through a local garden center just to see the patio set ups and the colorful flower pots.

I know many of us have gotten used to being more isolated during this pandemic. I know that I will have to ease myself slowly back into indoor dining (it's been more than a year since I've eaten inside of a restaurant). It's all about baby steps. Every day that the weather is nice, push yourself to go outside even if you have no particular place to go. Go for a walk or a drive with the windows rolled down.

Life will improve from the way that it's been. So get out there and enjoy the spring weather and be reminded of the hope of the season.

What are you getting back to that you've missed?

Don't Let IT Win

One year ago we were presented with an unheard of Covid pandemic, lots of new restrictions and requirements, and an immediate lock down. Kids started virtual learning at home rather than going to school, many parents started working their jobs remotely, and the store shelves were mostly void of Lysol wipes and toilet paper. We were told not to leave our homes or see our families, but if we did have to leave to go to the grocery store we were to remain six feet apart and wear masks at all times while in public.

Last March we were told it would last three weeks and people were skeptical about whether or not they could even manage to wear a mask that long. People whined and complained and finger pointed and shared strong opinions on social media (after all, what else can you do from home after you've organized your closets and cleaned your basement, lol). Wow, a whole year has gone by and wearing masks outside of your home has become the new norm. Twelve long months can certainly help you gain some perspective.

Now as three vaccines are slowly becoming available and some people have been fortunate enough to get their shots in the arm, the hope of society gaining some herd immunity is a light in our tunnel. 

There's a saying that suggests if you do something for three weeks it has the ability to become a habit (good or bad). Most people continue to wear their masks in public to reduce the spreading of the virus, something many didn't think they'd be able to stick with a year ago. But there are other aspects of the pandemic to look at as well. We've stayed home, we've stayed out of restaurants and public places, many have been forced to stay out of church (in-person). The truth is that the longer you stay away from something the harder it is for some to go back. There's a sense of excitement for some that things will automatically be like they used to be once they walk back through the doors of their church or office or movie theatre. But for other people they've become so used to being isolated that the idea of being back around people again has become immobilizing. They're nervous and rightfully so. The reality is that the longer we wait to call someone or go somewhere or do something we used to do, the easier it will be for our minds to tell us that we've done fine without it and just don't need it in the same way as we used to.

Please don't let IT win. By IT, I mean the worry, the self-doubt, and the fear. Whatever you have been yearning to get back to, make plans to do it. It's perfectly okay to take baby steps and reacclimate in a way that makes you most comfortable. We didn't ask for the pandemic or the lockdowns or the lack of socializing or conversations with friends and family. We didn't ask for extroverts to be guilted into becoming introverts by forcing them to isolate themselves. This process has taken way longer than three weeks, so it's natural for it to take longer to get back to where we want it to be.

For those who miss seeing their grandkids more regularly or their friends or co-workers in person (anything other than Zoom calls and video chats), know that it will come. Now you need to start preparing yourself for when it does. Don't let your fear and worry dictate to you that it's better for you to give up and close yourself off. Don't let IT win.

How are you faring these days?

What things are you most looking forward to getting back to?

What have you found you've done fine with giving up?

When It Feels Like Groundhog's Day

Groundhog's Day this year will be on February 2nd; only a few weeks away. It's been a long standing tradition to watch for the groundhog and determine if he has seen his shadow; forecasting whether or not we will have six more weeks of winter. When I think of Groundhog's Day I think of the 1993 movie starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell. In the movie Bill Murray's character was stuck in time. Every morning his alarm would go off and he would re-live the SAME day over and over and over. After everything many of us have gone through in 2020 and now heading into this year it's no wonder some people feel like they have been living through a similar scenario.

The Covid pandemic has taught us to wear facial masks, social distance by six feet, and have many of our family gatherings virtually. Everyone has experienced the last 10 months differently. Some have been homeschooling their children or supervising their virtual studies. Some have been working remotely and gotten extremely comfortable working in sweats and slippers; many haven't worn 'real' clothes in months. Some have gone out to work every day, but with their environment feeling extremely different and a lot quieter and lonelier.

It's gotten to the point for a many people where the awkward silence follows the automatic questions of 'What did you do yesterday?' or 'How are you?' Every day seems to run into the next. I've had some people tell me when I call them, 'Sorry I haven't called, I just don't have anything new to say.' Not a good situation to be in, for sure.

When I don't feel like talking either I try to keep busy with something else. Over the last several months I have indulged in 'hobby' time more than any other time in my life. If more than three days goes by and I haven't worked on a painting, I purposely add it to my To Do list. Taking time for myself has become a necessary priority. Trying to keep my mind focused and busy helps me to not feel like I am slipping down into an unwanted rut.

Try not to dwell on all that has changed around us and what uncertainties lie in front of us. Focus on the here and now. It may not seem like it some days, but we really have come a long way. We will tackle whatever we are faced with because we have to. We are resilient that way.

What have you done to take care of yourself?

Ringing In A New Year

2020 was a year so different than any I remember in my lifetime. It was a year filled with fear, anxiety, a pandemic, uncertainties, inconveniences, hatred from strangers (and people we knew), a nasty election (well that part wasn't so different, they usually resume every four years), lots of worries, and searching for answers. It seemed like everyone was ready in full force to be done with 2020 and start fresh with a new year. I am on board with that notion, not because I know that switching the calendar to January 1st will necessarily change anything overnight, but mentally I am ready to start fresh with the HOPE of better things to come with the new year.

I asked readers what they were looking forward to in 2021 and got answers like 'some sense of normalcy', 'being able to see family and friends more', 'scheduling some of the events and activities that we cancelled last year'. It's normal that we miss being in church (and yes, I know that some churches have been meeting anyway; a service for maskers and one for non-maskers - that's a little hard for me to wrap my brain around). People miss gathering in groups larger than 2 or 3. We miss going to lunch with people outside our own household and talking for hours. We miss going to a hockey game or a baseball game. We miss going to a movie theatre and having more than a few people there and being able to purchase overpriced snacks while we're there. We miss travelling and planning our next adventure.

Me? I miss wearing lipstick! I miss seeing my small group in person on a regular basis. I miss the hugs. I miss eating a meal out. I'm tired of ordering a carryout when the order is wrong 50% of the time. I miss the human contact. I miss seeing smiles, or frowns (any sort of visual communication).

Usually on January 1st I'd write about what my goals are and what I hope to accomplish in the coming year. Today feels different. Instead, I have been reflecting on 2020 and thinking about how I reacted to the obstacles. Did I handle things well or could I have done better? What did I learn about myself that might help me be stronger in 2021?

I spoke with someone the other day and they reminded me that as busy and as different as life has been this past year, that I matter too (something I tend to forget too often). It's my nature to be the caregiver, the organizer, the mediator, the one who puts out potential fires, and the good listener. I have 57 years of experience of putting other people's needs first. That needs to change. I spent so much time in 2020 putting myself in overdrive to accommodate everyone else, that I let a part of myself slip away. The ironic thing is that very few people even noticed because their needs were being met so they just assumed I had it all together, Truth be told, none of us have it all together, some of us are just really good at hiding it. This year I need to let some things go. I need to ask other people to do their share, rather than taking it all on myself. I need to speak up more for myself. If I don't like what I see or hear, I need to worry less about people's reactions to my opinions. Why should everyone else get to voice their thoughts, but I feel like I just have to play along? I've never liked conflict and usually avoid it all costs. I've learned that when you hold parts of yourself back for too long, then those parts will either overflow into a noisy messy situation or they'll dissolve along with a part of what makes you who you are.

Let 2021 not be all about making more money or losing more weight. Let it be the year that you fully examine who YOU are and embrace it. If by doing so it causes a little discomfort with people in your life, then that's okay. You can't do everything for everybody else forever. Maybe by me learning to stand up more for myself, other people in my life will learn that they're capable of standing a little stronger as well.

How are you feeling about 2021?

Finding Peace Amidst The Chaos

Life can get pretty crazy; lately that seems to be just about every day. You may go to bed at night and think, 'Whew! I made it through all the curve balls today. Tomorrow has to be better.' Then you wake up the next morning to a whole new batch of craziness. Today's world is filled with chaos, distractions, mixed emotions, loads of responsibilities, and lots of questions - many without answers.

We're still dealing with a pandemic, a presidential election that is less than four weeks away, and enough hatred and bitterness on social media to make a person's head swim. While things are changing every day and I want to be kept in the loop and up to date, there are days I want to stick my fingers in my ears like a ten year old and start humming loudly so I don't have to listen to any more.

How is the chaos affecting you? 

Have you been sleeping less? Is your appetite off? Do you find yourself short-tempered for no apparent reason? Do you feel anxious or depressed? Are you battling more headaches than usual? Do you feel like your shoulders are raised up closer to your ears? 

Here's the bigger question ... what have you found helps you to feel some small degree of peace amidst the chaos?

Do you listen to music? I have my car radio tuned in to the KLove station so it's the first thing I hear as I leave my house. Then I listen to it on my computer at work. Some days are too quiet and it makes me feel less alone. Some people relax with yoga or meditation. Many people take a walk. Last weekend I was able to visit my son and his family; my granddaughters make me laugh which always helps. My newest distraction is my boss bringing his puppy to the office. Oh how that little happy fluff ball can make me smile; I've found that puppy therapy has proven to be very beneficial.

I hope you are able to find some peace in these crazy times. Just remember, the weight of the world wasn't meant to be carried alone. We need to make it a point to be there for each other. Forget picking sides and drawing lines in the sand. Ask a friend to go for a walk. Bake some cookies and drop a plate off to your neighbor. Text or call your family just to say hi. We don't have to do it all alone.

Say 'Thank You'

Everyone is asking these days, 'How are you doing?' Stay Home Stay Safe for us in Michigan during this Covid-19 pandemic still means staying home for the most part, wearing a mask when you're out, and being very strategic when you need to go shopping ... which means not much is new so when people ask, you simply reply with, 'About the same. Not much is new.'

So what can you say (when you actually see people)? Here's a thought ... you can say THANK YOU.

You can say THANK YOU to the person who called or texted or sent you a card in the mail last week just to check in on you.

You can say THANK YOU to the person who encourages you; your spouse, your children, or your pastor who is live streaming his message online on Sunday mornings.

You can say THANK YOU to the many people working the front lines; whether that be those who work in the hospitals, the firefighters and EMTs, the police officers, the grocery clerks, or the teenagers running the curbside pick-up at the local restaurants.

Or you can say THANK YOU to whoever made you feel a little less invisible and alone this past week.

It's always easy to be so busy you don't notice the things (or the people) right in front of you, but at times like these when we are forced to slow down ... this is when we should take notice. This is when we should be reminded that what goes around comes around. When you notice someone lifting you up, you thank them, and then you think about how you can PAY IT FORWARD.

What did someone do for you recently that you want to thank them for it?

How did it make you feel?

It Won't Always Be This Way

Unless you've been living under a rock lately you've got to realize the world is going through some crazy and unsettling times right now. The Coronavirus has mostly everyone on edge to one degree or another. Some people are nervous about self-quarantines, anxious about having their kids out of school, the potential for many working remotely from home, people being temporarily without work, people being exposed to the virus or potentially exposing someone else ... the list is endless.

In the end, we need to know the ONLY real things we can control are our own hygiene and our attitudes. How we choose to handle things says a lot about us. It's true that our actions speak louder than our words. Whether you are taking the pandemic super seriously or think 'things are blown out of proportion' is your choice. I am certainly not here to tell you how to think or how to act. Your conscience is your own, but try to think about not just how your choices and actions affect you but also how they may be affecting those around you.

What things can we do during this time? We can continue to communicate ... with our families, with our church communities, with our friends, and with our neighbors. We need, now more than ever, to stay connected. We may not be able to physically check in on some people, but we can pick up the phone and send a text or actually call someone and see how they are doing. People still need contact with other people. We can pray for each other and we can take the time to listen.

It won't always be this way. Things may get worse before they better, but things are temporary and we'll see what we're made of. In the meantime, think of things to do to stay busy at home. We all tend to say how busy we are, we have To Do lists and schedules, and we have responsibilities. I know I generally have a hard time making any kind of real time for myself. In the midst of all this uncertainty I am extra thankful today for 2 special things; things I usually would not take the time for. I got a book (a large one at that) from the library a week ago. Sadly, I usually find myself renewing it after my 3-week deadline because I didn't make time to finish it. Today I got an email from my local library that they will be temporarily closed and are extending ALL due dates by 3 weeks. It may sound silly to some people (those of you who can read a book in a day), but to me it was a huge sign of graciousness saying 'You're going to have the time to actually finish this book now. Take your time and enjoy it.' The second thing is a few weeks ago I purchased an adult paint-by-number canvas. Yesterday I set up my 'studio space' in my basement and painted for 2 straight hours. It was therapeutic to say the least. I think I'll say this piece of art work is from my 'leveling the curve' period.

In the days ahead ... stay calm, stay busy, stay focused, and keep the faith.

What will you be doing to keep busy?