Feeling Overloaded Lately?

Many people are starting to experience the most recent changes of the Covid-19 pandemic. For the past fifteen months we've had many restrictions here in my home state of Michigan. We've worn masks in public, many of us have gotten the vaccine, and we've had capacity limits wherever we went ... not too mention the various restrictions of work, church, and school environments.

This past week I have been experiencing my most recent change. I've had my vaccine so I've started going into public places without wearing my mask. Yikes! That was a BIG step toward adjusting to life after being mandated for more than year to wear one. I'm probably a little late showing up to the party, so to speak, as others have been dining inside restaurants and going maskless for a while. I was feeling paranoid and waiting for either lightning to strike or someone to yell at me with an accusatory voice judging me for my actions. I had to remind myself that being able to resume some normality in my life was why I made the choice to be vaccinated in the first place and yet here I was still feeling anxious.

In the last four days I have been inside a funeral home once (with people I didn't know), inside two different churches for two different funeral services (with some people I did know), inside a restaurant without wearing a mask (with a large group of people), to an indoor family gathering, and inside a grocery store without a mask.

What did I experience? The good, the bad, and the in between. I saw people's faces I haven't seen in a long time, I hugged family and friends, I laughed a little, I cried a lot, I slept very little, and I experienced what I call socialization overload. I haven't been around that many people for quite a while. At times I felt like I was jumping into the deep end of the pool without a life jacket. Not a good feeling, but just like being in the pool as soon as you get used to the temperature of the water and start to tread with your legs your confidence starts to return,

What have you experienced during the pandemic (or as we're coming out of it) that felt different?

What have you learned about yourself?

When It Feels Like Groundhog's Day

Groundhog's Day this year will be on February 2nd; only a few weeks away. It's been a long standing tradition to watch for the groundhog and determine if he has seen his shadow; forecasting whether or not we will have six more weeks of winter. When I think of Groundhog's Day I think of the 1993 movie starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell. In the movie Bill Murray's character was stuck in time. Every morning his alarm would go off and he would re-live the SAME day over and over and over. After everything many of us have gone through in 2020 and now heading into this year it's no wonder some people feel like they have been living through a similar scenario.

The Covid pandemic has taught us to wear facial masks, social distance by six feet, and have many of our family gatherings virtually. Everyone has experienced the last 10 months differently. Some have been homeschooling their children or supervising their virtual studies. Some have been working remotely and gotten extremely comfortable working in sweats and slippers; many haven't worn 'real' clothes in months. Some have gone out to work every day, but with their environment feeling extremely different and a lot quieter and lonelier.

It's gotten to the point for a many people where the awkward silence follows the automatic questions of 'What did you do yesterday?' or 'How are you?' Every day seems to run into the next. I've had some people tell me when I call them, 'Sorry I haven't called, I just don't have anything new to say.' Not a good situation to be in, for sure.

When I don't feel like talking either I try to keep busy with something else. Over the last several months I have indulged in 'hobby' time more than any other time in my life. If more than three days goes by and I haven't worked on a painting, I purposely add it to my To Do list. Taking time for myself has become a necessary priority. Trying to keep my mind focused and busy helps me to not feel like I am slipping down into an unwanted rut.

Try not to dwell on all that has changed around us and what uncertainties lie in front of us. Focus on the here and now. It may not seem like it some days, but we really have come a long way. We will tackle whatever we are faced with because we have to. We are resilient that way.

What have you done to take care of yourself?

Things I Wish I Never Had To Worry About

These are crazy times. The current list of things one could worry about is endless. On a normal day people find themselves worrying about their finances, relationships, or an unexpected diagnosis. 2020 has been a year like no other that I remember in my lifetime. Throw in the stresses and ugliness of a recent presidential election and add a Covid-19 pandemic on top like a cherry on a sundae. Some days it can feel like TOO much.

We are now nearing the holidays; Thanksgiving is next week and Christmas a month after that. Now we have tighter Covid-19 restrictions in our state for at least the next three weeks (after the last eight months, we KNOW it will be more than three weeks). Our holidays this year will be very different. Most of us know at least one person who has experienced a Covid birthday already. Thanksgiving (for most of us) will be quieter and more subdued. Personally while I will be fixing dinner for my immediate family of three, I think I will pull out the good china but stay in my cozy sweats. This year's theme is about being flexible and learning to go with the flow.

Worry comes in many shapes and sizes and there are those days when we wish we didn't have to worry about the big things OR the little things. 

We wish we didn't have to worry about whether or not someone had enough food to eat.

We may wish someone would remember us.

There's times we worry whether someone has Covid-19 just because they routinely sneezed after raking the leaves in the yard.

We wish we didn't have to worry about people remembering to respect each other and get along.

We worry about potential confrontations when people don't wear a mask. None of us like wearing them, but we're doing what we can to be part of a solution.

What is something you have found yourself worrying more about this year than in years past?

How will you keep calm today?

Today in the U.S. it is election day; a 2020 presidential election while still coping with a Covid-19 pandemic. This one will definitely be one for the history books (for many reasons). I didn't sleep much last night. I often find it difficult to shut my brain off with everything that has been going on lately. I tend to think too long about too much; so I finally decided to just get up, especially since I had set my alarm for an hour earlier so that I could stand in line and vote before going in to work. It was a brisk morning, but the skies were clear and everyone standing in line outside the precinct was friendly and orderly. All good things for sure. Hopefully the rest of the day goes as smoothly for the rest of the voters.

As if many people haven't been stressed and feeling anxious enough lately about the pending election, now we get to feel anxious about the results. It goes without saying that half of the voters will be saying, 'Woohoo! We won.' and the other half will be accusing the other party of cheating. After everything I have witnessed about humanity in recent months I have come to expect nothing less. In the next few days there will be celebrations by some and accusations by others. There will be gloating and there will be hurt feelings. For today people will share their voice and vote. For today people will talk about peace and the need to be kind. But what happens tomorrow? How many of those same people will forget today's words of unity.

I wish I knew the right words to share that would instill confidence and hope for everyone. I wish my magic wand didn't have years of dust on it and with a simple wave through the air would create an instant and lasting sense of calm.

For now to maintain some sense of focus through the rest of my day I will take my boss's puppy outside for a few walks (it's a perfect day for puppy therapy!). I promised myself that if I even turn the TV on tonight it would only be to start binge watching another season of the British Baking Championship. I just finished season one on the weekend. The LAST thing I need tonight is to start watching election results where every news station will want to be the first to get the scoop and declare a winner with only 1% of the votes having been tabulated. By voting this morning I've done what I can to be part of the process. Hopefully the results will be the voice of the people, will be accepted as that, and people will remember tomorrow the words of unity that they spoke of today.

Have you voted yet?

How will you stay calm as you await the results?

Finding Peace Amidst The Chaos

Life can get pretty crazy; lately that seems to be just about every day. You may go to bed at night and think, 'Whew! I made it through all the curve balls today. Tomorrow has to be better.' Then you wake up the next morning to a whole new batch of craziness. Today's world is filled with chaos, distractions, mixed emotions, loads of responsibilities, and lots of questions - many without answers.

We're still dealing with a pandemic, a presidential election that is less than four weeks away, and enough hatred and bitterness on social media to make a person's head swim. While things are changing every day and I want to be kept in the loop and up to date, there are days I want to stick my fingers in my ears like a ten year old and start humming loudly so I don't have to listen to any more.

How is the chaos affecting you? 

Have you been sleeping less? Is your appetite off? Do you find yourself short-tempered for no apparent reason? Do you feel anxious or depressed? Are you battling more headaches than usual? Do you feel like your shoulders are raised up closer to your ears? 

Here's the bigger question ... what have you found helps you to feel some small degree of peace amidst the chaos?

Do you listen to music? I have my car radio tuned in to the KLove station so it's the first thing I hear as I leave my house. Then I listen to it on my computer at work. Some days are too quiet and it makes me feel less alone. Some people relax with yoga or meditation. Many people take a walk. Last weekend I was able to visit my son and his family; my granddaughters make me laugh which always helps. My newest distraction is my boss bringing his puppy to the office. Oh how that little happy fluff ball can make me smile; I've found that puppy therapy has proven to be very beneficial.

I hope you are able to find some peace in these crazy times. Just remember, the weight of the world wasn't meant to be carried alone. We need to make it a point to be there for each other. Forget picking sides and drawing lines in the sand. Ask a friend to go for a walk. Bake some cookies and drop a plate off to your neighbor. Text or call your family just to say hi. We don't have to do it all alone.

When 'Feeling Tired' Doesn't Even Begin To Describe What You're Feeling

I haven't blogged in a few weeks; I just didn't know what else could be said. I try to share insights that are generally encouraging and uplifting (it makes me feel like I'm more a part of a solution than the problem), but life seems to feel more and more like Groundhog's Day every day. The routine has become the same (and often mundane). The warnings to wear a mask, use hand sanitizer, and socially distance six feet are the same. In Michigan we're still in the same phase of the Stay Safe plan. It's still pretty much impossible to find Lysol or Clorox wipes on the store shelves. The political ads are ramping up in full force. The name calling and lines drawn in the proverbial sand are becoming very apparent. And people are still overwhelmed, confused and tired.

Five months ago people were worried about staying home and staying safe and not catching Covid-19. Now people are still worried, but their worries are evolving. Now people are worried about the flu season overlapping with Covid still out there. People are worried about their jobs and either continuing to work from home or having to go back to their offices. Parents are worried about their children starting the new school year virtually as much as others are worried about sending their kids back to school. They are worried about the potential child care they might need. Teachers are worried about trying to be all things to all people. Basically a lot of people have a whole new set of worries.

Do you mail in your absentee ballot and hope it gets turned in and counted in November or do you brave it and plan to vote in person for the election? Do you eat inside a restaurant or continue with carry outs (it's okay to admit that some nights you just don't feel like cooking)? Do you feel angry when you wear your mask to go in a Home Depot or drugstore and walk past people who appear to be completely healthy and don't wear one? Do you feel cheated? There are enough unanswered questions these days to make anyone's head swim. We're used to controlling what we can, making our To Do lists, and planning for our own futures. But truth be told, some days you just get tired of it all; the hoops you're jumping through, the doubt you feel with your decisions, and the guilt you put on yourself if you try to take a momentary break from it all.

What is the answer? Gosh, how I wish I knew. I am trying so hard to hold on to any sense of balance.

What has been your biggest concern or worry lately?

How have you been able to make time for yourself?

What do you miss most this summer?

So far 2020 has been unlike any other year I remember in my lifetime. Covid-19 has turned the world upside down causing physical upheaval, emotional stresses, and economic uncertainties. As I was sitting at my desk last week I realized we are now in our 18th week of 'officially' dealing with this pandemic. People where I live have either stayed home, worked from home, been laid off of their job, temporarily home-schooled their kids, worn face masks to go out, stocked up on Lysol spray or Clorox disinfectant wipes, cleaned their groceries before putting them away, gone back to work (but in a different way), taken up after dinner walks or bike riding, viewed their weekly church services through live streams on Sundays, or learned to master Zoom or Facebook video chats. When all of this became real for me was in mid-March. Eighteen weeks ago none of us thought we would still be dealing with all of this now. Scary and uncertain times, for sure.

We've sped right through spring and are now half way through our summer. I heard one person say they were ready to put out the pumpkins, hand out some Halloween candy, start putting the Christmas lights up, and fix a full turkey dinner this weekend ... just so we could speed through the rest of 2020 and be done with it. I think many of us are ready to start fresh.

It's mid-July and truth be told some people are frustrated that they've had to cancel vacation plans that they had been thinking about since last year. Getaways, day trips, family reunions, and seeing extended family members are often put off until the summer when the kids are out of school and the weather is good for traveling. I asked my readers on my Facebook page what they missed most this summer. Their answers ranged from 'going to people's houses and hanging out', 'missing things that were not at their house', 'cancelled trips', 'festivals', to 'feeling uncertain about decisions to venture anywhere ... constantly second guessing what to do and how to do it'. 

Yes, this pandemic has taken its toll on many of us in different ways; some physically, emotionally, spiritually, or financially. People need human interaction. People crave fresh air and the warmth of the sun on their skin. People yearn for conversation. Sure, some people do fine being cooped up and being away from other people, but not everyone. I've lived in my house for 20+ years and have seen more people walking dogs past my house in the last 4 months than in the first 20 years combined. 

We, as a society, have found that we need to be flexible with how we do things right now, but more importantly we've found that we need to be creative with our time. I've had friends that have cancelled their trips to Europe that had been planned for the last year. I've seen people buy bicycles and backyard pools or new BBQs. We are strong and don't give up easily. If I need to wear a mask right now when I leave my house, so be it ... at least I am getting out and going somewhere or doing something. I will admit, I have better days and I have worse days. It's been 5 months since I have physically seen or hugged my granddaughters. That's been the hardest thing for me.

Our lives have many seasons; besides just the four that are reflected on our fridge calendars. We will deal with loss, with sickness, with a broken heart, a financial stress, gain unwanted weight, and a job search. BUT we'll also deal with seasons of strength, of hope, of dreams, and of longing. We'll get through this summer, just like we did our spring. Our summer may look different than those in the past, but perhaps next summer we'll look back at all the family time we had, the exercise we got, the number of closets we organized, and in my case the number of adult paint by number canvases I either bought or completed, lol.

Hang in there and make the most of it!

What should I say?

It's been an unusual last 12 weeks. We've been dealing with the Covid-19 pandemic. We've dealt with 'Stay Home Stay Safe' orders and proper social distancing. We're dealing with major tensions in our culture. It's been a lot to deal with and think about for a lot of people. There are different opinions to just about EVERYTHING these days. Don't believe me? Check out social media (if you have the stomach for it). I've read comments full of accusations and hatred from strangers directed to other strangers, but I've also read sad comments from people directed to people they know.

Right now I've been focusing on the last 12 weeks, but MANY have been dealing with insurmountable stresses and tensions for a lot longer; declining health, financial burdens, relationship issues, racism, and so much more.

Life has become overwhelming for so many. Many of us want to help. Many of us want to understand both sides of an issue. Many of us have good intentions and want to do something positive to help. Many of us want to say the 'right' thing. So what should we do?  What should we say? I think before we speak or do anything, we need to first learn to listen.

We should never judge what we don't understand, that only makes us part of the problem rather than part of a solution. If we don't understand something, then we need to ask questions, BUT we also need to be prepared to listen. Whether we will fully agree with someone else or not isn't the point. The point is that we need to base our own views on facts, not predetermined stereotypes and ignorance.

Do I pretend to have the answers to life's big questions? Absolutely not. Sure, I have my own opinions on different things, but I generally (for the most part) keep them to myself and my inner circle rather than trying to win people over to my side just to make my side louder or bigger.

The next time you're facing something big and unpleasant (which could be on any given day), take a step back. Ask questions and try to view life or the situation from another perspective. It doesn't mean I expect you to change your opinion; you may or you may not. What I hope for is that we can all come to a consensus that we need to listen more before we react. Once we throw words out there, we can't get them back. We can all learn from our mistakes, myself included. None of us are perfect. We can ALL do better.

Have you had moments when you've reacted too fast and said something you later wanted to take back?

Were you able to remedy the situation and move forward in a more positive way?

What's Behind The Mask?

We are in our 9th week of our Covid-19 'Stay Home Stay Safe' order here in Michigan. I never thought I would be actually be typing those words. We've stayed home, we've only gone out for 'essential' things, some have worked from home, some have only gone to work and then gone straight back home, some have been homeschooling their kids, some are graduating high school and college, some are feeling anxious, and some are tired of answering the never ending 'What's for dinner?' question.

As we continue forward we are all experiencing this time of worry and restrictions in different ways; with no one person's journey being any less important than anyone else's. Many are experiencing new levels of anxiety and loneliness. Some are handling things better than others and appear calm on the outside, but we don't really know what's underneath.

It's like when we wear our masks when we are out in public. They all appear different on the surface; there are the blue medical masks, there are the colorful home-sewn versions, the bandana scarves, and the 'turtle-up' versions where people forgot their mask at home so they hunch their shoulders and pull their shirt collar up over their nose and mouth.

The next time you have to be out and see someone wearing a mask, don't just look at the mask ... look beyond what you first see and look at the person's eyes and maybe even the worry lines on their forehead. Those will tell you a lot more. Behind the masks you may find varying levels of worry, fear, anxiousness, and confusion. You might also find love, empathy, the want to help, or a friendly smile. (Full disclaimer ... I am NOT suggesting you actually pull off anyone's mask! Sad that I have to mention that.)  Be prepared and aware enough to see what is right in front of you, but also what may be behind the mask.

How have you been handling the stay-at-home orders?

Are you only sharing with people what you want them to see? Perhaps telling them what they want to hear when they ask how you are doing?

Have you been hiding your emotions?

Say 'Thank You'

Everyone is asking these days, 'How are you doing?' Stay Home Stay Safe for us in Michigan during this Covid-19 pandemic still means staying home for the most part, wearing a mask when you're out, and being very strategic when you need to go shopping ... which means not much is new so when people ask, you simply reply with, 'About the same. Not much is new.'

So what can you say (when you actually see people)? Here's a thought ... you can say THANK YOU.

You can say THANK YOU to the person who called or texted or sent you a card in the mail last week just to check in on you.

You can say THANK YOU to the person who encourages you; your spouse, your children, or your pastor who is live streaming his message online on Sunday mornings.

You can say THANK YOU to the many people working the front lines; whether that be those who work in the hospitals, the firefighters and EMTs, the police officers, the grocery clerks, or the teenagers running the curbside pick-up at the local restaurants.

Or you can say THANK YOU to whoever made you feel a little less invisible and alone this past week.

It's always easy to be so busy you don't notice the things (or the people) right in front of you, but at times like these when we are forced to slow down ... this is when we should take notice. This is when we should be reminded that what goes around comes around. When you notice someone lifting you up, you thank them, and then you think about how you can PAY IT FORWARD.

What did someone do for you recently that you want to thank them for it?

How did it make you feel?

It's A New Day

Remember the Bill Murray movie called 'Groundhog's Day'? He played a reporter who woke up every day to the same day ... the day that just kept repeating itself. For many of us, that's what it feels like lately. We've been staying home and staying safe now for more than 4 weeks. The routine is becoming very familiar; as is the daily dinner menu, the layout of the furniture, and the clothing we are wearing. About the only thing that is changing is the length and color of our hair (since the hair salons are all closed).

There have been moments when I've been glued to my social media to make sure my friends and family are doing well. Sadly there have also been moments when I am saddened and disgusted with the things people post (people I know and people I don't know). I get it. People are anxious. They are feeling antsy. In a world where we are blessed to make so many of our own decisions and choose our opportunities, many people feel 'stuck' suddenly being told what to do, where to go, what to buy and not buy, what's considered essential, that they cannot work, etc. I think, for the most part, people understand the severity of the Covid-19 situation and understand that flattening the curve is really about the only recourse we have right now. It's important that we each do our part to the best of our ability. But criticizing each other, critiquing people you'll never meet in person, and judging others doesn't help anyone's situation. Hiding behind your computer screen and typing in all CAPS and emojis, behind your locked doors doesn't make you smarter than the other guy ... it only makes you a bigger online bully (in my opinion).

Let's all take a much-needed step back and take a deep breath. Many people are now lucky enough to be working from home, but maybe they are stressing out about the self-discipline that takes (not to  mention if their spouse is now working from home too). Then there are people who are not working, but are having a very difficult time working through the government's computer systems to file for unemployment, etc. Maybe through no fault of their own they're getting rejected in the systems and trying to navigate the unwanted and unasked for scenarios. Then there's the fears and anxieties that the pandemic itself throws at us. We are all human and all deal with stresses and anxieties (and for many ... depression) differently. But let's remember to not add any unnecessary fuel to the fires. 

We WILL get through all of this and hopefully come out stronger in the end, both mentally and physically. But we need each other to lean on. We'll all have our stronger moments and our weaker ones, so let's be thankful for the support systems we have. Remember to reach out and send that extra text or email, or better yet make a phone call. Check in on each other. Not everyone has the same support system you do.

Yesterday may have been rough, but today? It's a new day and we can pray that it will be a better one.

How are you doing?

How are you coping?

Creating A Distraction For Yourself

It's hard to know what to write about when the world seems off kilter right now. Daily press briefings from the Covid-19 Task Force, press briefings from the state governor, schools closing down for the remainder of the current school year, how do people apply for temporary unemployment, etc. Questions ... everyone has questions. How long will people be working from home (assuming you're able to)? How do you get a Covid-19 test if you think you are symptomatic? Will the grocery store have what you need when you venture out of your home to go?

A lot of these questions don't have answers right now. So what do you do to keep your mind (and your body) busy while you are 'staying home to stay safe'?

I've been seeing A LOT of social media ideas ...

• post a picture of a landscape without you in it
• post a picture of a beach
• post a picture of your dog
• post a photo of you and your oldest child to see if you look alike
• play the 'I spy camera roll' game
• post the 8th photo from your phone gallery

The list is endless, with new ones popping up every day. Once we get past all of this (and we will!), we'll know more about each other than we ever thought possible. When we get past all of this (and we will!), let's post a photo of our clean cupboards or the new hat we're wearing to cover up our long overdue haircuts, lol. Things are serious enough, so I am purposely trying to keep it lighter here.

If you're looking for a hands-on project, try checking out Rainbows Over Michigan on Facebook and look through all the colorful and creative projects people have done with their kids. They ARE amazing! Decorate your window, your front door, or even your sidewalk!

What helps you relax and keep your mind busy these days? 

Hobbies? 

Taking a walk? 

Cleaning up the yard?

Are you feeling isolated?

Most people here in Michigan are heading into at least their second week of social distancing and staying at home. The kids and college students may be home from school and some people may have the luxury of working remotely, but that isn't the case for everyone. There are many people who are still required to venture out to work; health care workers, firefighters, EMTs, police officers, those who work at grocery stores, gas stations, etc. Regardless of where you find yourself right now, HOW ARE YOU FEELING? Are you feeling anxious? Bored? Frustrated? Isolated?

Whatever you are feeling is normal and you are most definitely not alone. What can you do to try and keep some sense of normalcy in an otherwise unsure time? (Disclaimer: these suggestions aren't medically proven, just my opinion for it's worth.)

• Stay busy. Be productive at home, but also be purposeful about carving out some personal time for yourself.

• Don't watch the news for a few hours before you go to bed. You can't allow yourself to get caught up in information overload. Whatever is shared on the news at 10:00 p.m. will surely be repeated at 8:00 a.m. the next morning. You need your sleep.

• Not used to working at home or sharing a space with someone? Be sure to take breaks or work in shifts. Create a fictitious co-worker that you can blame the messy desk on, lol.

• I know a lot of people would argue with me about this one, but try and stick to a routine. Make your bed and get dressed! I've seen all the memes on social media about changing out of your daytime pjs into your nighttime pjs, lol. Don't get sucked in to the 'I don't care who sees me' mentality ... just walk into your bathroom and look in the mirror. Is that who you really want to look at?

• Get outside and get some fresh air. Walk to your mailbox. Clean any wind-blown debris up from your yard. Take a walk and stay 6 feet away from other people, but still wave at your neighbors and your mail carrier.

The truth of the matter is that we don't how long this Covid-19 part of our lives will go on for. We can probably safely assume though that things will get worse before they get better. That's being said we all need to remember to be patient, to be kind, to call or email or text our friends and family to check in with them routinely, and be creative when we need to be (with our meals, with our activities, etc.)

How are you feeling?

How are you passing your time?