When 'Feeling Tired' Doesn't Even Begin To Describe What You're Feeling

I haven't blogged in a few weeks; I just didn't know what else could be said. I try to share insights that are generally encouraging and uplifting (it makes me feel like I'm more a part of a solution than the problem), but life seems to feel more and more like Groundhog's Day every day. The routine has become the same (and often mundane). The warnings to wear a mask, use hand sanitizer, and socially distance six feet are the same. In Michigan we're still in the same phase of the Stay Safe plan. It's still pretty much impossible to find Lysol or Clorox wipes on the store shelves. The political ads are ramping up in full force. The name calling and lines drawn in the proverbial sand are becoming very apparent. And people are still overwhelmed, confused and tired.

Five months ago people were worried about staying home and staying safe and not catching Covid-19. Now people are still worried, but their worries are evolving. Now people are worried about the flu season overlapping with Covid still out there. People are worried about their jobs and either continuing to work from home or having to go back to their offices. Parents are worried about their children starting the new school year virtually as much as others are worried about sending their kids back to school. They are worried about the potential child care they might need. Teachers are worried about trying to be all things to all people. Basically a lot of people have a whole new set of worries.

Do you mail in your absentee ballot and hope it gets turned in and counted in November or do you brave it and plan to vote in person for the election? Do you eat inside a restaurant or continue with carry outs (it's okay to admit that some nights you just don't feel like cooking)? Do you feel angry when you wear your mask to go in a Home Depot or drugstore and walk past people who appear to be completely healthy and don't wear one? Do you feel cheated? There are enough unanswered questions these days to make anyone's head swim. We're used to controlling what we can, making our To Do lists, and planning for our own futures. But truth be told, some days you just get tired of it all; the hoops you're jumping through, the doubt you feel with your decisions, and the guilt you put on yourself if you try to take a momentary break from it all.

What is the answer? Gosh, how I wish I knew. I am trying so hard to hold on to any sense of balance.

What has been your biggest concern or worry lately?

How have you been able to make time for yourself?

Tipping The Scale

Life is all about balance, or at least that's what most of us strive for. We wake up in the morning and we anticipate what our day will bring. What will our To Do list look like? How much will we actually accomplish? What relationships will take center stage today and need our attention? What unexpected drama will we be faced with? Who will push our buttons and allow us to feel stressed? Or will we get through our day and feel accomplished and at peace?

Whew ... that's a lot of what ifs and scenarios that will most likely get played out in a 12-14 hour period of time. 

On our best days we think we'll be able to tackle anything that comes our way. Everyone faces unexpected bumps in their path, but it is how we are able to deal with them that matters most and defines our character and our strength. While I feel it is good to start our day with a general plan and a goal, it would be unrealistic to think that plans can't and won't be changed (whether we are in agreement with them or not). To ultimately get through any day we need to be able to go with the flow and tell ourselves that it is okay if we don't get through the daily list because tomorrow is a new day and we can try again.

We try to keep a handle on life and we try to keep our heads above water. Some days we are able to succeed better than others. Some days we are weary from treading. 

What tips the scale for you? What throws you off balance and challenges your strength?

• a lack of sleep? (I totally get this one. I am an insomniac most nights.)
• a crying baby in public that distracts you from your moments of peace? (The grandma in me wants to go and help, but sometimes it is wise not to butt in.)
• a honking horn from an impatient driver while sitting in traffic?
• politics and the media? (in general)
• people who swear in public?
• people who smoke outside, but directly in front of a door to a restaurant or business that you need to walk through to get to your destination?

Everyone has their triggers; the things that tip the scale for them and throws them off their stride. When that happens ... and it will ... what do you do to regain your balance? Do you choose to ignore whatever inconvenienced you? Do you immediately become defensive? Do you respond or choose to keep quiet and keep your feelings to yourself?

There is the old saying that we should think before we speak (sort of a take off of 'measure twice, cut once'). Always best not to react right away; but rather observe, then think, then decide if you want to fight that battle. I've always stressed that once words are out (good or bad), you cannot take them back.

The next time your scale has been tipped and you find yourself off balance, take a deep breath and think about the most constructive way to get back to where YOU want to be. Be part of the solution rather than a new problem for someone else.

If You Dream It Will It Happen?

What are the meaning of dreams? I'm sure there are scientists and physicians who have studied the topic extensively and would most definitely have an opinion. There might be those who believe in the more spiritual side of dreams and believe them to be a connection with our inner soul; perhaps trying to tell us something. Sometimes dreams are memories. Sometimes they are fantasies. Sometimes, depending on what we had for dinner, they could be REALLY out there and confusing (just ask my daughter; she once had a dream that involved dancing green beans).

Often, my dreams are a reflection and continuation of whatever I was thinking about before I dozed off. That could be good or bad, depending on the kind of day I'd had. If I'm working on a creative project and over thinking something, my dreams can take me in a direction of the different possibilities. That can be a good thing IF it helps me come to a conclusion.

Some dreams can be nightmares; they can be scary and overwhelming, often caused by fear, stress or doubt. When we're worried we find that our dreams take us down paths of distractions and gloom. We imagine the what ifs and the worse case scenarios; kind of the 'glass is half empty' type of dream. There's always that dream where you feel like you are falling and jerk yourself awake right before you hit the bottom.

So ... do you think dreams are real? Do they have any major significance other than helping us pass the time when we're sleeping? I am neither a psychologist nor a scientist, so I wouldn't presume to know for sure. However, I can say that last week when I woke up in the morning with a stiff shoulder and a tight neck, it may have had something to do with the yellow piece of paper I had accidentally knocked over and behind my desk and the 2 hours during the night I spent contorting my body trying again and again to reach, BUT I could be wrong.

When was the last time you had a dream that you thought was real or insightful? Was it helpful? Do you dream about accomplishing a personal goal? Do you dream about finding that someone special you've been looking for? Personally, I constantly have dreams where I am playing with some of the most adorable, furry little puppies, but sadly so far I haven't gotten one. 

How Do You Rank Yourself?

Sometimes we all have crazy weeks. Okay ... sometimes those weeks can drag into months. We aren't unique though. We may be running low on sleep, energy, or even motivation. Our lists may be long and the needs many, but we're driven so we learn to prioritize. Maybe you're working with deadlines. Maybe you're working towards a goal and wonder if you've plateaued. Maybe you feel like you're mostly moving backwards instead of forward. You are most definitely not alone. We ALL have days when we feel like the fan has been turned on and the proverbial crap is flowing.

So, how do we cope? Take a step back and take a deep breath. We go into a closed room and have a minor meltdown. We shed a few tears when someone asks how we're doing because we are feeling overwhelmed. However we respond, it's okay. Why? Because we're human and these are all real, raw human emotions. Sure, we can try to brush off our super powers. We can build our protective walls a little higher and a little thicker, but in the end they will most likely come crashing down.

I am notorious for talking about 'lists'. Lists for shopping, lists of projects to get done, things we aspire to do, goals we want to tackle, places we want to go, and things we want to see ... the lists are endless. Then reality hits. We only have 24 hours in a day and seven days in a week. How can we possibly get it all done if we want to do it all well? I heard someone say the other day, "There are people who can't help but give 100% and then there are people who don't know how to give a 100%. I prefer to surround myself with the people who can't help but give 100%." On one hand, it's a complicated quote. On the other hand, it couldn't be any clearer.

If we're going to do something, we should want to do it well. Overextending ourselves doesn't help anyone. At some point we need to add taking care of ourselves to our lists. The question is, "Where do you rank yourself on your lists?" Too often we push ourselves to page two - or even the bottom of the list. How can we realistically tackle #1-10 if we are #11?

Today's lesson? It's all about finding a balance and it's okay to put yourself toward the top of your list.