What is your catch phrase?

It's the time of year when we are caught up in holiday traffic, standing in longer lines at the stores, and have To Do lists that are way too long to get accomplished in the hours of a typical day. It's only normal that we have moments of anxiety. We try to handle the unexpected times of stress with grace and finesse, but we are only human and are bound to stumble from time to time.

When I was experiencing one of those moments yesterday I had someone gently remind me to take the long deep breath in and the slow exhale out. It was helpful. Everyone has those certain techniques that work best for them in specific situations. 

What helps you count to 10 and regroup when you're feeling a bit frazzled? What is your catch phrase that puts things back into perspective for you? What can you say (preferably in your head and not out loud) that will help you get through your moment?

'Bite me!' (not sure where this one came from unless it was a vampire movie)

'Takes one to know one!' (when someone is rude for no reason)

'I know I am, but what are you?' (When someone calls you a sarcastic name and you feel like dishing it back. I think this was applicable in junior high.)

'People suck'! (for those rude drivers that cut you off in traffic)

Now, I didn't say these were all classy responses and I DID suggest that we only say them privately in our cars or in our heads. I'm a firm believer in the old adage that once words are out, you can't take them back - so say all you want in private if it helps you regain perspective and get past the moment.

It's only December 2nd and the traffic is going to get heavier and the department and grocery store lines will undoubtedly get longer. So keep calm, breath deep, whistle a happy tune, sing a perky Christmas song (this you can actually do out loud), and most importantly remember that this too shall pass.

We all have enough things to stress about in the world that it is okay to not have it all together all of the time. But perspective and self-control can go a long way in changing the path of your day, as well as someone else's. Before you yell at the cashier for the stock issue you might be experiencing (which they have NO control over), think again before you react. Before you vent on a complete unsuspecting stranger, think of the long term effect your rant will have on them and all who stand by observing the scene. 

Changing the world is a mighty task, but it can all start with you and I. Let's get creative if we need do and make the best of any bad situations or anxious moments.

Tipping The Scale

Life is all about balance, or at least that's what most of us strive for. We wake up in the morning and we anticipate what our day will bring. What will our To Do list look like? How much will we actually accomplish? What relationships will take center stage today and need our attention? What unexpected drama will we be faced with? Who will push our buttons and allow us to feel stressed? Or will we get through our day and feel accomplished and at peace?

Whew ... that's a lot of what ifs and scenarios that will most likely get played out in a 12-14 hour period of time. 

On our best days we think we'll be able to tackle anything that comes our way. Everyone faces unexpected bumps in their path, but it is how we are able to deal with them that matters most and defines our character and our strength. While I feel it is good to start our day with a general plan and a goal, it would be unrealistic to think that plans can't and won't be changed (whether we are in agreement with them or not). To ultimately get through any day we need to be able to go with the flow and tell ourselves that it is okay if we don't get through the daily list because tomorrow is a new day and we can try again.

We try to keep a handle on life and we try to keep our heads above water. Some days we are able to succeed better than others. Some days we are weary from treading. 

What tips the scale for you? What throws you off balance and challenges your strength?

• a lack of sleep? (I totally get this one. I am an insomniac most nights.)
• a crying baby in public that distracts you from your moments of peace? (The grandma in me wants to go and help, but sometimes it is wise not to butt in.)
• a honking horn from an impatient driver while sitting in traffic?
• politics and the media? (in general)
• people who swear in public?
• people who smoke outside, but directly in front of a door to a restaurant or business that you need to walk through to get to your destination?

Everyone has their triggers; the things that tip the scale for them and throws them off their stride. When that happens ... and it will ... what do you do to regain your balance? Do you choose to ignore whatever inconvenienced you? Do you immediately become defensive? Do you respond or choose to keep quiet and keep your feelings to yourself?

There is the old saying that we should think before we speak (sort of a take off of 'measure twice, cut once'). Always best not to react right away; but rather observe, then think, then decide if you want to fight that battle. I've always stressed that once words are out (good or bad), you cannot take them back.

The next time your scale has been tipped and you find yourself off balance, take a deep breath and think about the most constructive way to get back to where YOU want to be. Be part of the solution rather than a new problem for someone else.