Tipping The Scale

Life is all about balance, or at least that's what most of us strive for. We wake up in the morning and we anticipate what our day will bring. What will our To Do list look like? How much will we actually accomplish? What relationships will take center stage today and need our attention? What unexpected drama will we be faced with? Who will push our buttons and allow us to feel stressed? Or will we get through our day and feel accomplished and at peace?

Whew ... that's a lot of what ifs and scenarios that will most likely get played out in a 12-14 hour period of time. 

On our best days we think we'll be able to tackle anything that comes our way. Everyone faces unexpected bumps in their path, but it is how we are able to deal with them that matters most and defines our character and our strength. While I feel it is good to start our day with a general plan and a goal, it would be unrealistic to think that plans can't and won't be changed (whether we are in agreement with them or not). To ultimately get through any day we need to be able to go with the flow and tell ourselves that it is okay if we don't get through the daily list because tomorrow is a new day and we can try again.

We try to keep a handle on life and we try to keep our heads above water. Some days we are able to succeed better than others. Some days we are weary from treading. 

What tips the scale for you? What throws you off balance and challenges your strength?

• a lack of sleep? (I totally get this one. I am an insomniac most nights.)
• a crying baby in public that distracts you from your moments of peace? (The grandma in me wants to go and help, but sometimes it is wise not to butt in.)
• a honking horn from an impatient driver while sitting in traffic?
• politics and the media? (in general)
• people who swear in public?
• people who smoke outside, but directly in front of a door to a restaurant or business that you need to walk through to get to your destination?

Everyone has their triggers; the things that tip the scale for them and throws them off their stride. When that happens ... and it will ... what do you do to regain your balance? Do you choose to ignore whatever inconvenienced you? Do you immediately become defensive? Do you respond or choose to keep quiet and keep your feelings to yourself?

There is the old saying that we should think before we speak (sort of a take off of 'measure twice, cut once'). Always best not to react right away; but rather observe, then think, then decide if you want to fight that battle. I've always stressed that once words are out (good or bad), you cannot take them back.

The next time your scale has been tipped and you find yourself off balance, take a deep breath and think about the most constructive way to get back to where YOU want to be. Be part of the solution rather than a new problem for someone else.

The Snow Ball Effect

The quickest way to alienate a friend or put people on the defensive is to spread an unfounded rumor. Some would refer to it as 'stirring the pot', others might suggest that the instigator is merely trying to build themselves up (for whatever reason) perhaps justify some choice that they'd made. Regardless of the motive, it's never perceived as nice (or even of good taste).

Rumors generally stem from insecurities; most of which are ignorant exaggerations of some sort. They often appear to be of the snowball variety; like the small snowball that starts to roll down the hill when pushed gaining much momentum as it rolls along. Rumors are often started when someone eavesdrops or makes an assumption. The rule of thumb is ... if you're going to eavesdrop, you'd better be prepared to listen in on the 'whole' conversation. You might find that you didn't really hear what you thought you did. Many rumors could easily be avoided if people would just ask their questions directly, rather than choose to stand in the shadows and see how havoc unfolds.

Generally I try to share an upbeat thought in my blog posts, but every once in a while I choose to just share an observation or two. We all watch as the world continues to spin, sometimes we're just too busy or blind to notice all that is in front of us.

I suppose there is still something positive to find in this post; the thought that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. We'll never  be able to control the behavior and actions of other people, but we will ALWAYS have the power and the choice to behave well ourselves and be a beacon of light for ourselves and others. When you see a situation that could easily get out of hand (especially if you're in any way a part of it), stand back and stop. Breath. Listen to the whole conversation. Look at the whole picture; the big picture. You might be surprised by what you actually see.