Taking A Break

Often we can feel overwhelmed and tired. Sometimes we feel there just aren't enough hours in the day. We all have responsibilities; can't think of anyone I know who doesn't. We make lists and we prioritize because we know we'll never get it ALL done in a day and sure enough we'll forget to do something. So we rewrite the list the next morning and start fresh. It's an inevitable cycle; one that is hard to avoid. But there are times when either our mind or our body says, 'Hey, that's enough. I need a break.' That's when we need to stop and listen. Our mind and body are strong enough to get us through each day, but they're also wise enough to tell us when we need to slow down and recharge.

It's difficult to just flip a switch and say 'I'm off til Wednesday'. How many times have you been on vacation and it's literally day two or three before you start to relax and enjoy the moment? The first few days are about packing, unpacking, making plans, getting to your destination, etc. Day three rolls around and you sleep in a little and start to feel relaxed. Hopefully your vacation is at least 5 days so you can enjoy it.

I realized the other day that it's been two months since I blogged. Shame on me, but I don't blog to fill a quota. Sure, I set goals for myself but in the end I blog when the feeling is right and I can be present in the words. The last two months have been filled with work, gardening, weeding, watering the garden, cleaning up the garden, etc. You get the picture. Writing, like anything else, has its seasonal moments. When we have more daylight in the summer months I don't hang out in the house much unless it's raining or a grey day. Now it's nearing the end of September and I have the itch to clean out the gardens and put the mums and pumpkin decor out. October will fly by and then we'll be decorating for Christmas and trying to get the outside lights up before it snows. Time just moves by too fast these days. Someone just informed me that Christmas is three months from this Sunday! Please don't shoot the messenger.

This week though I am taking a break. I'm cutting myself some slack and giving myself grace. Do I already have next week's To Do list set? Mostly, lol, but at least I'll feel better equipped to handle it. I'm going to take a few days and recharge (mentally and physically). 

When's the last time you gave yourself permission to take a break?

Were you successful in feeling recharged and motivated?

You Can't Force Creativity

Lately LIFE has kept me busy, but then I always seem to be busy. I try to blog at least every other week, but sometimes even that is a stretch. Don't get me wrong, the ideas and thoughts are there (I have the scribbled notes on restaurant napkins and post it notes to prove it) ... it's the lack of time that can get in the way. For those that don't know, my full time job is an Administrative Associate at a church. Those in the church environment know that Advent and Lent are our two busiest times of the year; extra services and events, lots of extra prep work and logistics, calendar monitoring, setting up and rearranging rooms, extra PowerPoint presentations for the services, flower deliveries, etc. In the Lutheran church, Easter Monday is the day after Easter. For the staff that relates to a well-deserved day off. 

When I take a personal day I usually spend it running to doctor or dentist appointments, grocery shopping, visiting my mom at the nursing home, etc. Vacation days are sometimes blessed with a day away somewhere doing something fun, but this month it will be to have new windows installed at our home (which will be a really good thing). So when Easter Monday rolls around I usually try to take the day for myself; I try to make sure I have no place to be at a certain time, no one to meet up with, and no major TO DO list. Although this morning I did get all of my MUST DO items done in an hour before I left the house. I am feeling quite accomplished about that. What does the rest of my day look like? I'm not totally sure yet, I'm attempting to go with the flow (which honestly is pretty tough for me).

I packed up my bag this morning with a book that I'm hoping to finish up for a six-week book study I am starting tomorrow, along with my laptop. I have my scraps of paper with me with thoughts and titles and half thought-out blog ideas. I have the time set aside today so naturally I feel the need to commit words to my blog. But guess what? You can't force creativity. Just because I have the time available doesn't mean the best blog posts will take shape, so instead I will write about where I am at ... right here, right now. And that is okay too. Because what I am writing is real and exactly where I am at this moment. The great ideas? They'll come when they're ready and when they're supposed to; usually at 3 a.m. But I'm usually not sleeping then anyway, so that's okay.

Today I am going to start taking a crack at something I've had on the back burner for literally years. Something personal and meaningful for me. What is it? Sorry, I can't say yet. If I tell you I'll have too much pressure to rush it and finish it. No, for now this project will be for me and it will be therapeutic and it will be good. At some point I may share it; we'll have to wait and see. The important thing is that I am actually going to spend some time today celebrating me.

I hope you are able to carve out the time you need for YOU, doing whatever YOU need to do. The To Do lists and everyone else's needs will still be there when you're done taking care of you. That I can promise. So today, just let go and celebrate YOU.

It's Okay To Push Yourself

Sometimes our lists of things to do can be daunting. There's always outdoor work that needs to be done at home. There's an  'IN' box at work that is almost always full. Even the magnetic notepad on the side of the fridge for the next trip to the grocery store ALWAYS seems to have something written on it. There are days when you might want to just collapse when you get home and say 'enough is enough', but then you push yourself to do one or two more chores before you call it a night.

Why do we always have something to do? Great question; probably because we write our own To Do lists (at least that's been my problem). I am a glorified, semi-professional list-maker! I always have things to tend to (but who doesn't?). My problem is that I need to trust myself to keep track of it all and hopefully not let anything slip through the cracks of a busy day. I trust myself to do my best to get everything done (in a reasonable amount of time), but I can admit that I am human. On a busy day my memory isn't going to be fool proof ... so I make lists. If I don't get something done today I will revise my list this evening and it will be there tomorrow as a reminder that it hasn't gotten done yet. And that's okay. 

We all have busy lives; whether we are young parents juggling jobs and chauffeuring little ones or whether we are older and juggling jobs, a home, and caring for aging parents ... we ALL have things that require our attention. But the truth remains the same; there are still only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. We will still only accomplish as much as time and ability (and sleep) allows for. My husband and I have been in the midst of a month-long backyard landscape overhaul. Out with the old and in the new; twenty years in a house will do that. We looked at the next step in our project and realized we had a small window of non-90 degree weather for a 48 hour period, so we tackled planting 19 shrubs! Trust me there were moments when we looked at each other's sunburned faces and dirty knees and thought, 'We're done! We can't do any more today.', but then we pushed ourselves and got it done and guess what? Today the temperature is back to 90 degrees and this stage of our project is complete.

It's okay to push ourselves when we're close to giving up; when it's the last two miles of a marathon, when three out of four walls are freshly painted, when we only have one more store to go in to finish up the Christmas shopping, or when you only have a week left of a medical treatment. When you set your goal and you see the finish line on the horizon, dig deep and just go for it. You are almost there! You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. 

When is the last time you pushed yourself to accomplish something big? 

What was it and how did it go?

What is your catch phrase?

It's the time of year when we are caught up in holiday traffic, standing in longer lines at the stores, and have To Do lists that are way too long to get accomplished in the hours of a typical day. It's only normal that we have moments of anxiety. We try to handle the unexpected times of stress with grace and finesse, but we are only human and are bound to stumble from time to time.

When I was experiencing one of those moments yesterday I had someone gently remind me to take the long deep breath in and the slow exhale out. It was helpful. Everyone has those certain techniques that work best for them in specific situations. 

What helps you count to 10 and regroup when you're feeling a bit frazzled? What is your catch phrase that puts things back into perspective for you? What can you say (preferably in your head and not out loud) that will help you get through your moment?

'Bite me!' (not sure where this one came from unless it was a vampire movie)

'Takes one to know one!' (when someone is rude for no reason)

'I know I am, but what are you?' (When someone calls you a sarcastic name and you feel like dishing it back. I think this was applicable in junior high.)

'People suck'! (for those rude drivers that cut you off in traffic)

Now, I didn't say these were all classy responses and I DID suggest that we only say them privately in our cars or in our heads. I'm a firm believer in the old adage that once words are out, you can't take them back - so say all you want in private if it helps you regain perspective and get past the moment.

It's only December 2nd and the traffic is going to get heavier and the department and grocery store lines will undoubtedly get longer. So keep calm, breath deep, whistle a happy tune, sing a perky Christmas song (this you can actually do out loud), and most importantly remember that this too shall pass.

We all have enough things to stress about in the world that it is okay to not have it all together all of the time. But perspective and self-control can go a long way in changing the path of your day, as well as someone else's. Before you yell at the cashier for the stock issue you might be experiencing (which they have NO control over), think again before you react. Before you vent on a complete unsuspecting stranger, think of the long term effect your rant will have on them and all who stand by observing the scene. 

Changing the world is a mighty task, but it can all start with you and I. Let's get creative if we need do and make the best of any bad situations or anxious moments.

Tipping The Scale

Life is all about balance, or at least that's what most of us strive for. We wake up in the morning and we anticipate what our day will bring. What will our To Do list look like? How much will we actually accomplish? What relationships will take center stage today and need our attention? What unexpected drama will we be faced with? Who will push our buttons and allow us to feel stressed? Or will we get through our day and feel accomplished and at peace?

Whew ... that's a lot of what ifs and scenarios that will most likely get played out in a 12-14 hour period of time. 

On our best days we think we'll be able to tackle anything that comes our way. Everyone faces unexpected bumps in their path, but it is how we are able to deal with them that matters most and defines our character and our strength. While I feel it is good to start our day with a general plan and a goal, it would be unrealistic to think that plans can't and won't be changed (whether we are in agreement with them or not). To ultimately get through any day we need to be able to go with the flow and tell ourselves that it is okay if we don't get through the daily list because tomorrow is a new day and we can try again.

We try to keep a handle on life and we try to keep our heads above water. Some days we are able to succeed better than others. Some days we are weary from treading. 

What tips the scale for you? What throws you off balance and challenges your strength?

• a lack of sleep? (I totally get this one. I am an insomniac most nights.)
• a crying baby in public that distracts you from your moments of peace? (The grandma in me wants to go and help, but sometimes it is wise not to butt in.)
• a honking horn from an impatient driver while sitting in traffic?
• politics and the media? (in general)
• people who swear in public?
• people who smoke outside, but directly in front of a door to a restaurant or business that you need to walk through to get to your destination?

Everyone has their triggers; the things that tip the scale for them and throws them off their stride. When that happens ... and it will ... what do you do to regain your balance? Do you choose to ignore whatever inconvenienced you? Do you immediately become defensive? Do you respond or choose to keep quiet and keep your feelings to yourself?

There is the old saying that we should think before we speak (sort of a take off of 'measure twice, cut once'). Always best not to react right away; but rather observe, then think, then decide if you want to fight that battle. I've always stressed that once words are out (good or bad), you cannot take them back.

The next time your scale has been tipped and you find yourself off balance, take a deep breath and think about the most constructive way to get back to where YOU want to be. Be part of the solution rather than a new problem for someone else.

Challenge Accepted

For those of you who know me well, you know I live by my To Do lists. I like to think that I control the list, but often I think the list controls me. I don't think that the list necessarily defines me, but it does carry a certain amount of power in what my stress level and attitude will be for any given day. Ironically, it is me who writes the list - so wouldn't that mean that 'I' have the power to alter the list? Wouldn't I have the power to lessen how long the list is if it begins to overwhelm me? Wouldn't I have the power to decide if something is actually important enough to be list-worthy?

 

So why do I (or anyone else for that fact) feel the need to write lists?

• Is it because I'm forgetful? Not too often.
• Is it because I want the satisfaction of seeing things crossed off the list in order to feel accomplished? Maybe.
• Is it because I'm OCD? Not really, although I suppose that depends on who you ask.
• Is it because I like things done a certain way or by a certain deadline? Most definitely!

Bottom line ... I suppose I create the issue that sometimes stresses me out. The world is a busy, busy place. We all have LOTS of responsibilities and just not enough hours in the day. Often we write our lists in the morning in order to better schedule our day and our time. In the morning the list may seem very doable and very realistic. I think I'm doing myself a favor to help keep myself on track and away from stress, but then 'life' happens. A child gets sick, your car gets a flat tire, you get stuck in traffic getting from point A to point B. Suddenly your well-defined list gets put on the back burner because you have enough sense to know that sudden life obstacles come first. My priorities are clear, but my willingness to let go of the list sometimes becomes a separate issue.

 

So here is my challenge for me (and for you); let go of the list for 1 whole day. See what happens. I'll bet the world will not self-destruct. Worse case scenario is that tomorrow's list is a bit longer and needs a little tweaking. Perhaps on that 2nd day we need to take just a moment and see what can actually come off of the list.

 

I'll accept the challenge. Will you?

What Have I Learned?

Today I am taking the afternoon off. Generally my Sundays consist of morning worship at my church, followed by lunch and either running errands or tackling some last minute projects at home before my work week begins. My daughter is home from college for her spring break so we don't need to drive her back to campus this evening. As usual I have a TO DO list, but this afternoon's only project is to decide on my devotion for tomorrow's staff meeting.

I'm currently spending some time at one of my favorite places ... the community library. As I'm sitting here perusing possible devotions and scanning some previous posts from my own blog the following post jumped out at me. It's ironic when it's your own words and ideas that help you regain perspective. I suppose it might be worth sharing again.

What's on Your 'To Do' List?

September 22, 2010

This week it was my turn in the rotation to give the devotion at our weekly staff meeting. So of course, I added ‘prepping my devotion’ to last week’s ‘TO DO’ list. Being the organized person that I am, I wanted to be sure to give myself enough time to read through a variety of devotions to see which one jumped out at me and seemed to be the perfect fit. I went to the church library and scanned the shelves a few times … such a variety to pick from. I finally decided to check out the book ‘Desktop Devotions for Working Women’ by Elsa Houtz. Each short chapter was a devotion that began with a scripture verse, a suggested list of a few items to ‘slow down & look at’, a worthy story, and ended with a prayer of how I might apply the lesson to my life. I don’t usually have a lot time to just sit down and read for pleasure because my self-imposed ‘TO DO’ list is so long. Apparently I have this problem that as long as I have something left on my list I have a difficult time allowing myself some free time. But because prepping my devotion was on my list, I read through most of the book over the weekend. How ironic … chapter 5 was titled ‘What’s a Woman to Do?’

 

It began with Luke 10:41-42 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Are you a list maker like me? After many, many years of working in offices I have learned that keeping a to-do list, both at work and at home, help me meet my deadlines and not forget things that I need to do. Sure, there are those usual things that I write on calendars (the one that I neatly hung on the side of my refrigerator) … things like birthdays, anniversaries, dentist appointments, vacation days, school concerts, etc. Then there are the grocery and errand lists that I can grab in a hurry so I can take care of them on my way home from work. There are my to-do lists at work (that’s right, I usually have more than one going at a time). I usually even go so far as to give myself a weekend to-do list. Fortunately I cut myself some slack and give myself ‘2’ whole days to get through that one.

We all have so much to do these days that I find it very easy to identify with the biblical Martha who, the bible tells us, became pretty stressed out about the fact that Jesus was coming to her house. I can only imagine that she had a to-do list a mile long. The Bible tells us she was “distracted by all the preparations that had to be made” (Luke 10:40). In fact, she felt so pressured by all of her household tasks that she actually asked Jesus to intercede when she saw that her sister Mary wasn’t helping at all. Mary was just sitting at Jesus’ feet, listening to Him. Jesus explained to Martha that Mary was doing exactly what she needed to do.

It can be easy to mistake busyness for godliness. We can feel that if we are wearing ourselves out trying to do many things for our friends and family because we love them, then we must be doing God’s will. We can feel that if we’re constantly working extra hours at work, showing how committed we are, we must be doing God’s will. It’s easy to convince ourselves that if we always say ‘yes’ to everyone when they ask, again we must be doing God’s will. But are we? I’m not so sure. Maybe we all have a little bit of Martha in us. Maybe we push Mary out of the way when she tries to slow us down. What do you think?

As long as I have my to-do lists I know I can’t just stop doing things. I have commitments and responsibilities - I’ll even go so far as to admit that I’m probably the one who put a lot of them in place. But if you are even a little like me, you may need to find a way to slow down and look at your to-do list. How much of it really needs to get done? Perhaps the one we should be pleasing is God. His to-do list is much simpler and not nearly as long.

Matthew 22: 37, 39

* Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.

* Love your neighbor as yourself.

The Bible is full of inspirational and challenging to-do lists that could help us with our priorities … Deuteronomy 11:18-21, Psalm 15, and Romans 12:9-21.

Without adding it to a list, let’s try reading through some of God’s lists. Perhaps it will help us to gain some perspective about our priorities … about what is really important vs. what we let everyone tell us. I’m willing to give it a try. I know I could definitely do without as many distractions.

Sometimes we need to slow down ...

I'm a creature of habit, a master of the 'list', a person who generally has a hard time sitting down, but sometimes we have to give ourselves permission to slow down and take a breather. It's the month of December ... a month long celebration of Christmas spirit, get-togethers with families and friends, a time for shopping and baking, Hallmark movies, and festive Christmas trees and lights. Many of us will 'go go go' for the entire month, but with the holidays comes crowds and unfortunately 'germs'. There's nothing like an old-fashioned battle with a cold to help me gain some perspective. My mind may be saying 'get up and go', but my body is saying 'I don't think so'.

Are my presents all wrapped? Nope. But my house is decorated and looks festive. I'll pick my battles for now. My advice to you ... take care of yourself now so you can enjoy the rest of the season. We can push ourselves all we want ... do more ... be more ... etc. But for what? For who? I've convinced myself that what's important will still get done. So, for today ... for right now I'm giving myself permission to put the list on hold. That's my gift for myself and the best part is it doesn't need wrapping.