January Doesn't Have To Be A Let Down

I'm embarrassed to say it's been a few months since I've shared anything. The autumn leading into the seasonal holidays is always busy. The leaves turn orange and yellow and red. The air starts to get cooler. We celebrate Thanksgiving and then start decorating for Christmas. We hang the outdoor lights, begin our holiday shopping, and fill our calendars with social events. Many people are so anxious and busy preparing for the festivities that they're exhausted when the month of December actually arrives.

Where I live in Michigan we generally anticipate having a white Christmas; fresh snow and crisp air. It adds something magical to the season. Christmas of 2023 arrived with cloudy skies, rain, and foggy air ... then gloomily stuck around through New Year's Day.

Usually by the time we get through New Year's people are packing away their holiday decorations and gearing up for a quiet January, which usually includes a feeling of things being quiet and a bit slower. Some people have a hard time dealing with the drastic change. No more nostalgic music on the radio, no more twinkling lights on the trees, and for many no more happy visits with friends and family dropping by. January can be sad for some; they're looking for something to lift their spirits.

Here we are, half way through January and the snow and cold temperatures have finally arrived for my area; only a few weeks late. One of our state's universities had an exciting end to their football season when they ended up the champs! Go Blue! Our NFL team has made it to the playoffs, something I'm not sure I thought I'd ever see. There's literally a football frenzy in the air; excitement and joy everywhere.

January is turning out to be anything but quiet or boring. I've started reading a new book for a book club. I'm finishing up a winter painting. I purchased a new BIG canvas for an upcoming project (trust me, that's a big leap of faith).We're meeting up with friends for our monthly dinner and conversation. And we're making an effort to get out and use some of our restaurant gift cards (the pile was starting to get pretty big).

Sometimes life deals us obstacles we have no control over, but sometimes life can be what we make of it. For me, I'm making this January a fun one. I'm not sitting back and letting it pass me by.

What are you doing this January to make it fun?

Taking Time To Enjoy The Holiday

It's that time of year, just before Christmas, when it's very easy to get stressed. Some would say that the holiday season has snuck up on them and they aren't prepared. They haven't had time to shop or bake or write out cards or decorate their tree. Funny thing is that Christmas comes at the exact same time every year. I'm not sure why people act surprised that's it's only a week away. It's not like those birthdays that fall in the few first days of the month and you accidentally forget about them until you flip your calendar page over for the next month. No ... Christmas falls on the 25th of December, just like it did last year and the year before that and the year before that. 

Truth be told, for me, it's not the holiday itself that gives me stress. I started my shopping this year way ahead of time, so I could do it in small increments. I bought my Christmas cards in October and had them written out, stamped, and ready to mail before December 1st. With Thanksgiving coming a little early this year we had our outdoor lights up (thanks to Mother Nature being reasonable) and our indoor tree up and decorated by Thanksgiving. I was feeling ahead of the game. No last minute holiday scrambling for me this year, lol. 

For me it's the other 'stuff' that gives me the stress. I try to be proactive and handle it the best I can; some is avoidable and some is not. I have certain things to take care of for my mom who's in a nursing home (her Christmas open house, her holiday shopping for the nursing staff, and her annual paperwork needed for the State). It's the extra work load at work trying to plan ahead and do 2 1/2 weeks of work in one week so that I can be home between Christmas and New Year's. Things still need to get done; other people rely on it, but it also makes for a lot of long hours. 

Every year I find myself feeling overly stressed and tired around the holidays, but it's not usually because of the holidays. Every year I seem to need my mammogram at the end of the year, but this year decided to postpone til January, along with my annual physical. Mammograms aren't always a big deal, but when you're a breast cancer survivor who was originally diagnosed during the holidays it's always stressful.  Right now, though, I am carving out this little bit of time for myself to sit on the couch with my laptop; no TV, no music, the tree lights are on illuminating the room ... just me and my thoughts and a plan to put them into words. Trust me, I have enough on my mind as it is without storing up blog post ideas, too!

How do you handle the holiday season? Is it all twinkle lights and Christmas cookies, or do you just want to go to bed early some nights so you can store up the needed energy to get through the next day? Is your plate overflowing with responsibilities? Do you feel a bit sad or overwhelmed? Whatever you are feeling, it's perfectly okay. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Don't put any unneeded pressure on yourself. Do what you can when you can. If something doesn't get done, that's okay. It'll be there when you're ready to get back at it.

Try to put your own needs at the top of the list when you can, even if it's only for a night. Fix yourself a cup of tea and turn on a Hallmark movie (don't judge me, Hallmark always helps me disengage from the responsibilities of life and escape for 2 hours ... if I'm lucky enough to fall asleep I don't even mind because I know all Hallmark movies will have a happy ending).

As the Christmas holiday quickly approaches my hope for you is that you find contentment, you spend time with friends when you want or need company, but always make time for yourself to be quiet when that's what you need. Sometimes the festivities can help us feel social, but other times it can be overwhelming. I hope your holidays are all that you want them to be.

It's An Overlapping Time of Year

When I looked out the windows this week I saw dry leaves blowing across the parking lots, trees and burning bushes turning gold and crimson, pumpkins and corn stalks in front of many houses, and photos popping up on social media of a variety of Halloween costumes. It's the end of October which means plenty of Trunk Or Treating events. It also means Hallmark has kicked off their Christmas movie season. Some would say, 'What ... Christmas movies already? Slow down! Let's enjoy one holiday at a time.' But don't get mad at Hallmark. They aren't the only ones on the band wagon to speed up time. Many stores have had Christmas items for sale for weeks now; of course they're just an aisle over from the Halloween and Thanksgiving decor. Equal time for equal holidays? I'm not exactly sure about that, but then some holidays bring in more revenue than others (business is business after all).

My kids are grown now and yet for some reason it still seems like once Labor Day rolls around and the school year has resumed, time just seems to go by a little faster. Summer ends, autumn begins, football games and tailgating takes place every weekend, it gets darker outside earlier, Halloween is upon us, Thanksgiving dinner discussions are already in full gear, and some people already have their check list complete for Christmas (okay, maybe not many, but enough to make me feel a little rushed, lol).

As we get older we tend to wish that time would slow down. There's too many 'responsible' things to get done, leaving not much time for the 'fun' stuff. Every year I say I will do things a little differently in the coming year; that I'll get started earlier so that I can enjoy the holidays more. Truth be told, some things change and improve, and some things stay the same (there's still never enough time).

So, to anyone who complains to me this year that Christmas movies shouldn't be playing yet or the local radio stations shouldn't be asking 'When should they start playing their Christmas music?' I say ... 'Don't worry about it so much!' It's going to happen anyway, so just let it ... in fact, why not just embrace it? What's the worst thing that can happen? You'll be taking your kids trick or treating AND talk to family about Thanksgiving dinner plans AND start picking out your Christmas cards all in the same week. There are worse things in life.

Personally, I don't mind that it's an overlapping time of year. It means I have wonderful things to be part of and look forward to. I enjoy the fall colors, the pumpkins, and kids' costumes. I also like the idea that when everyone's schedules and lives are packed full and busy, that Thanksgiving is still a time to put all of that aside and come together to get caught up with each other. Then there's Christmas ... I LOVE the twinkling lights, the decorations, the aromas of cookies baking and cinnamon scented pine cones on the porch, writing out and receiving festive cards, and standing in line and shopping for just the right gifts for people (yes, I rarely shop online ... I would rather go to a brick and mortar store and talk to people while I stand in line ... I know, call me CRAZY).

My point is to not let your yourself become consumed with the commercialism or the schedules or the To Do lists. Enjoy the moments for what they are. Make the memories. Don't worry about the calendar or what is coming next.

What do you look forward to this time of year?

What part do you like or dislike the most?

The Magic of Santa Claus

This time of year (for many) is about shopping, decorating, baking, and spending time with family and friends. There is something special about the spirit of Christmas in general; the way most people will go out of their way to help a stranger. They will open a door and say 'Merry Christmas', they will shovel a neighbor's driveway without telling them, they will drop a dollar or two in the Salvation Army red kettle, and hopefully remember the 'every other car' rule when sitting in traffic. 

I've sat in church these last three weeks and talked about HOPE, PEACE, JOY (and next week, LOVE); the four candles of Advent. These are special messages that help us remember what is really important and get us over and through the difficult times. With all of the happiness and glad tidings that are present during December, many people continue to struggle (with finances, relationships, goals, and anxieties). We can be so caught up in the twinkling lights, the aroma of fresh baked cookies, and the festivities in general that we can easily overlook the simple signs. The person that is sitting alone at a gathering, struggling to feel social, because someone may not be with them this year. The person standing in the layaway line at the toy store literally counting out their quarters and dimes hoping to get their child that special gift for Christmas morning. The person that isn't decorating their house for the holiday, because they fear no one will be coming to visit them.

Try to see past the glitzy store displays, the over-the-top TV commercials that try to convince us that we simply can't live without a new Star Wars toy or a brand new phone, the general idea that new and shiny means bigger and better and we must have it or we've somehow failed.

Embrace the simple pleasures; the car ride through the neighborhoods to look at the lights, the impromptu snow ball fight because the snow is fresh and powdery, and the smile that tugs at our cheeks when a store Santa spots us from across the room and winks or waves to us (trust me, this happens every year and gets me every time).

Whether you are into the whole Santa Claus scene or not, take the time to enjoy the magic of the moment. There's something special about the Santa with an authentic beard, real wrinkles, and rosy cheeks. The one who has the friendly voice and the sparkle in his eye, that somehow just makes you feel better when you've had a difficult day or have a lot on your mind. I've seen a few Santas that were sub-par and had their beards dragging a little too low and needed to put a little weight on, but then there's that ONE that you run into somewhere that just makes the moment a little happier, leaves your shoulders sitting just a little lower, and leaves your heart feeling a little warmer. To those special Santas I take my hat off to you. Well done!

As we gear up for this final week before the big holiday let us all remember the real reason for the season, be a little nicer to one another, share what we have with others (whether we know them or not), and make each other proud.

I wish you an early Merry Christmas!

It Takes Time For A Change To Transition Into A New Norm

Right now we are in full swing of the holidays. We've shopped, we've wrapped, we've stood in lines, we've baked and cooked, and we've socialized. We've made it through Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and now it is the morning after. We're relaxing, we've attempted to tidy up our houses to regain a little bit of order. We will undoubtedly eat leftovers for the next few days until the time comes when someone cries out, 'I need a hamburger; no more ham, PLEASE.'

During the holidays, including up through New Years, we try to catch up with friends and neighbors, and have family gatherings. For some, the holidays have looked a little different this year. I know it has in our house. We had a wonderful Christmas Eve dinner, if I do say so myself, but it was still different. In years past we played host to a larger extended family or close friends, but this year it was just 3 of us. We prepared the same dishes, decorated the house, went to a candlelight worship service, and watched Christmas movies on the couch. We missed having our whole immediate family here with us, but we understand that life changes; kids get married, start families of their own, and start new traditions (that perhaps do not mesh with ours). A family member passed this year and wasn't part of our holiday routine, and another family member is now in a nursing care facility which created yet another change.

The 3 of us slept in on Christmas morning and went through the rest of our day at a slower, more meandering sort of speed. Now it is Monday and we are all feeling a little lost. We have a couple of days off and want to make the most of them, but also aren't sure what to do. I do not have the desire, nor the energy yet today, to go shopping. I may do a little bit of Internet research for the best way to spend a gift card and perhaps venture out on Wednesday, lol.

The thing is, there is A LOT of hype that gets us up to the holiday (holiday music on the radio for one), but nothing that tells us what to do the 'morning after'. This morning my husband told me he saw one of our neighbors already taking their outdoor lights down. What? Seriously? I'm not ready to go that far. We have an entire year in between the holidays; meaning that a lot of change can take place during those 12 months. Relationships can change, for good or bad. Families can become bigger; we may have added spouses or new babies. As our small corner of the world changes, so do our traditions and the way we do things to make life special. Changes can happen literally overnight, just ask someone who has lost someone unexpectedly. In order for changes to become the new normal, though, we will need time. Thankfully, there is no time limit for a change to transition into a new norm. It won't happen over night. We'll have old memories to consider and new memories to create.

So, first off, how was your Christmas? What made it special? What was new about it? What, if anything, changed for you?

What are you doing today on this 'day after'? What does the rest of your week look like? Anyone that knows me well knows that I am a planner, a scheduler extraordinaire. I worked at a frenzied pace the entire week before Christmas and now I have a little time off. I could be curling up with a book, watching a movie, or sitting in my retreat room facing my laptop (oh wait, that's exactly what I'm doing right now). The point is I still feel a bit lost. When you're always used to your calendar being full you suddenly aren't sure what to do with an open slot; sorry if that sounds as pathetic as it presently looks on my laptop screen.

What is my big point today? Only that if you've experienced a big change this year (or even a small one) that has you feeling a little out of sorts and a little lost, that's okay. Take as much time as you need to face those changes head on, to try to understand them better, to appreciate and digest them, and to learn to accept them for what they are (or aren't). Given the right amount of time, your changes will transition into your new norm. Your holiday, this year or next, can be whatever you want it to be.

Let The Season Begin

This time of year can be difficult for many; for a lot of reasons. Some people will be dealing with their first holidays after the loss of a loved one. Some people will be financially stressed. Some people will be battling an illness. Some people will be working on troubled relationships. Most everyone is dealing with 'something', but most people will try to keep their troubles and stresses covered and to themselves.

It should be the season of hope, of families, of good will, and of miracles. Yet, many will be overcome by the commercialism of the season, the self-imposed stress of wanting to buy and give too much, some sleepless nights, and the To Do lists that require writing on the back side of the paper. Many people will have long overdue lunches with friends they haven't seen, many will rush in traffic, and many will become short-tempered for no good reason. Some will treat the wait staff  and the department store cashiers well and others unfortunately will not.

Before you accuse a seasonal worker of not being 'fast enough' or 'friendly enough', stop for a moment and put yourself in their shoes. They may be taking on extra seasonal work to help make ends meet. They may have already put in a 10 hour day on their feet trying to help crabby customers. The transmission on their car may have gone out that morning. They MAY be doing a great job and the attitude adjustment needed isn't theirs, but YOURS. 

Someone read a devotion in a staff meeting the other day about how 'hurt people hurt'. This analogy works all year long, not just during the busy holiday times. If you run across a cashier or waiter or mechanic or postman (or whatever profession) who seems to be having a frazzled day, stop yourself before you react with judgment or a criticism. Stop and find out their story. Ask them about their day. Tell them you appreciate their work and their effort. You have the ability with a few words to turn their day around. Sometimes it is even the other way around. YOU could be the one having the bad day and some one's kind words and a smile turn you around.

Grace is a beautiful thing. It can be life-changing AND it costs you nothing. Often times, it is easier to show kindness and grace to a stranger, rather than a family member or friend. I'm not sure why that is, other than perhaps we are too connected to the situation to be as objective.

As the holiday season gets further underway, make the most of it. Be the one who holds the door open for a stranger, the one that says thank you, the one who lets the person with only one item in front of you at the check out line, or gives the tired waitress an extra $5 in her tip. You have the ability to make this holiday season one filled with positiveness, kindness, generosity, and good cheer.

Merry Christmas!

Hold Tight To HOPE

It's the Christmas season; a time for family and friends, making memories, laughing, and buying someone that one special gift that will make them tear up with joy. For many though it is also a time of stress, family chaos, and often mourning and loneliness.

In a time when carols are playing on the radio and outdoor lights are twinkling in the neighborhoods, there's also a lot of tragedy in the world. Just this week I've heard stories of unthinkable situations; shootings of innocent children, beatings, robberies, and hostage taking. So how do we hold on to HOPE when so many destructive obstacles are being thrust into our paths? If I had the absolute answer I could relieve a lot of anxieties, but unfortunately many things are out of our control.

In the midst of all the bad, we must push ourselves to search for and hold on to the good. Still embracing Christmas and all it stands for doesn't mean that we are careless about the tragedies. We should still plan our holidays, bake our cookies, and enjoy our family gatherings. BUT we should also take a step back and consider what is most important; it's not about how much we spend on the gifts or how much food we pile on the table for the Christmas meal. It should be about embracing the blessings that we have and praying for those that have been less fortunate. We should pray for peace and mornings where children around the world can wake up with smiles. We should pray for an end to senseless violence. We should pray for safety for our military troops. We should pray for a growing consciousness and sense of morality. 

In the end I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and a safe and healthy New Year. My prayer for you this holiday season is one of love, joy, peace, and HOPE.

Make A Difference

It's that tricky time of year. There are still some golden leaves left on the trees, the weather is giving us a taste of what winter temperatures will be like, at least one radio station is playing Christmas music, the Hallmark movies are in full swing, and some of Santa's helpers can already be seen in the mall. So what does that mean for you and me?

Christmas is a very special holiday for me; as well, so is Thanksgiving. Christmas is a time for family. For me it is more about celebrating the birth of Jesus, but 'YES' I will admit I also like the season. The twinkling lights, the smell of cinnamon and evergreen, the laughter of children, and most of the decorations (still not sure I understand what the flying pig with a Santa hat is supposed to represent). There are those who will cringe and protest and say that it is all happening too soon. There are those who will say Christmas has gone completely commercial ... and they'd probably be right. BUT ... the season is what you choose to make of it. If you don't want to shop now, then don't. If you don't want to send out Christmas cards this year, then don't. If you don't believe in shopping on Thanksgiving day, then don't (I know I won't). BUT, don't be mad that the season is starting early. 

My suggestion: Set a budget that YOU are comfortable with (don't go overboard and don't go in debt over it), make your list of what you'd like to buy or how you want to celebrate the season, and start now ... slowly and at your own pace. I have my short list and will be shopping early. There are bargains and sales out there NOW. My goal is finish before Thanksgiving. Then I have the month of December to truly enjoy the Christmas season. I will write out some Christmas cards, I will bake a few cookies, I will try to gather with friends and be social, we will put our tree up and decorate, and my family and I will try to make a difference.

On Thanksgiving (and every other day) we will pause and remember all of the things we have to be thankful for; a roof over our heads, food to eat, family that we love, good health, our faith, and our values and priorities. We will think of ways we can give back during what can be a busy, chaotic, and lonely season for many. How can you be there for someone else? The list is endless.

• You can bake some cookies and visit a home bound friend or neighbor.
• You can buy an extra winter coat and donate it to a coat drive.
• You can take a tag or two from the many giving trees you'll find at your school or church.
• You can pay it forward and buy lunch for the table next to you or the person behind you in line.
• Or, since it's not all about money you can simply call someone you haven't talked to in a while and not only talk, but listen.

Combine your holidays ... Thanksgiving AND Christmas. Be thankful for what you have and what you have to offer and MAKE A DIFFERENCE this season. And more importantly, don't be embarrassed to say 'Merry Christmas' in public.

Angels Of The Season

December can be a very busy (and overwhelming) month for a lot of reasons. Many people embrace the Christmas holiday that falls in December ... many will thrive on the true meaning of Christmas, rejuvenate their spirits with the lights and decorations, rekindle relationships with family and friends, and dig deep into their inner soul to focus on what REALLY matters. But don't be fooled... for many December is just another month on the calendar, a month that brings an earlier darkness to our days, colder temperatures, occasional snowy roads, and often a lot of sadness and feelings of being alone.

The last week I've been busy with work, bringing my daughter home from college, a little Christmas shopping and gift wrapping, a staff Christmas party, playing cards with friends, hearing the news of my son's engagement, and regaining some physical strength after battling a cold for 2 weeks. Needless to say, blogging got bumped down a few notches on my list of goals.

 

I've had a lot on my mind and have felt the urge to blog several times this week, but choosing the right topic isn't always easy. I need to write from my heart. I can't force the words, if I do they won't be real and you'll know the difference. So what did I do? I asked my readers for suggestions. I got 3 responses. A) Weddings and about being a MOG (mother of the groom), B) How to stay calm during the holiday prep season, and C) Write about the angels of the season. I thought about each of the recommendations. I haven't fully come to the realization yet that I'll be a mother of a groom, so I'm going to take that one slowly. I'm certainly not one to guide others about how to stay calm, because truth be told that's a strength of mine that comes and goes with the seasons. So I opted to tap into the wonderfulness of the angels of the season.

 

Angels come in all shapes and sizes. They don't usually announce themselves and say, 'Hey, here I am! Look at me and what I can do!' No, they do the opposite. They do nice things for strangers, they don't want any attention, and they show up when they're least expected. They could be the stranger  that shovels your driveway for you without being asked, the friend that made you a pot of chicken soup when you were sick, or the neighbor you hardly know that invites to attend a holiday church service just when you're feeling alone and the pressures of the season. Yes, angels can be strangers or friends or even family. They're angels because they don't think of themselves, they think of the moment and what can they do to make someone else's day just a little brighter. Angels help us rebuild our strength, they brighten our spirits, and they warm our hearts. You can thank an angel when you meet them, but even better you can take what you've learned from them and pay it forward by being there for someone else. I had an angel once and her name was Laura. She was my Chemo Angel. She was special, an inspiration to me, thoughtful beyond a doubt, and an all-around nice person. I like to think I took some of what I learned from her and paid it forward. That's the BEST and most honest 'thank you' I think you can give someone.

 

Who has been your angel this season?

Sometimes we need to slow down ...

I'm a creature of habit, a master of the 'list', a person who generally has a hard time sitting down, but sometimes we have to give ourselves permission to slow down and take a breather. It's the month of December ... a month long celebration of Christmas spirit, get-togethers with families and friends, a time for shopping and baking, Hallmark movies, and festive Christmas trees and lights. Many of us will 'go go go' for the entire month, but with the holidays comes crowds and unfortunately 'germs'. There's nothing like an old-fashioned battle with a cold to help me gain some perspective. My mind may be saying 'get up and go', but my body is saying 'I don't think so'.

Are my presents all wrapped? Nope. But my house is decorated and looks festive. I'll pick my battles for now. My advice to you ... take care of yourself now so you can enjoy the rest of the season. We can push ourselves all we want ... do more ... be more ... etc. But for what? For who? I've convinced myself that what's important will still get done. So, for today ... for right now I'm giving myself permission to put the list on hold. That's my gift for myself and the best part is it doesn't need wrapping.