Moving Into 2020

Well, I'm back; although it has been a few weeks again. In my last post I pondered over what direction my 2020 would take. I decided, after much reflection, that more than a resolution or a specific goal I needed to focus on a word that would help keep me on track for the new year. I chose the word BALANCE. Why? Mostly because I am the first to admit that I can easily get overwhelmed or off track or out of sync if I let obligations and responsibilities take over my life. I have a difficult time saying no to anyone when they ask for help; heck sometimes I don't even wait for them to ask for my help - I just offer it up like it has instantly become my sole responsibility to help them, make things easier for them, or help them to stay on track. 

But should I be doing that? If I do, am I helping them or enabling them? By me helping am I giving them the easy way out? Shouldn't they own up to the responsibilities that are solely theirs? It's usually at this point that my life gets out of balance. I become stressed and consumed over things and situations that affect other people more than myself. Why do I do this to myself? That's the million dollar question. I don't think I do it on purpose, but I've grown up my entire life playing the self-imposed role of the mediator, the organizer, the task master, the list maker, the worrier, and the sleep-deprived person. I look at what I think the result should be in the end and I do what I can to help it get there. I don't settle for good enough; that's always been unacceptable to me. I tend to care too much sometimes; but that's on me. Can you see why my word for 2020 is BALANCE? I clearly need more of it in my life.

I need to know that I can help, assist, care for, worry about, and be concerned for other people in my life without letting it become all-consuming. At some point the scales with the ME side of the equation will be out-weighed by the magnitude of everything else. That's unfortunate, but also unhealthy. It's when I can make this clear observation and own it that I hope to be able to learn something beneficial from it.

I want to move into 2020 like there are no set limits. I want to feel unstoppable. I want to feel deserving of my successes. I want to hear the sound of my own voice and know that it matters (not just to me, but to others as well). So how do I go about accomplishing this?

If I need a space where I can clear my head, then I need to make it or at least clean up the one that I have. If I don't have the tools I need to be the kind of success that I want, then I need to get what I need in order to do that. I need to make the effort because I care as much about me and my needs as I do about everyone else's. I need to be my own best advocate and stop being my own worst enemy. I need to convince myself that looking out for what's best for me doesn't have to make me a selfish person. There will always be those voices in your head that say, 'Now isn't a good time.' 'Maybe next year would be better for everyone else.' But that's the thing, there will always be other reasons and more excuses. Maybe it's the fear of failure. Maybe it's the fear of commitment. Maybe it's the fear of insecurity or being judged. There will always be fears that can talk you out of anything. That's when the hopes need to take the forefront and outsize the fears. Listen to the hope in your heart; the hope that tells you that you have what it takes to succeed, that you deserve to be happy, and that you have what it takes to make a bigger difference in the world.

How are you doing so far with choosing your word for 2020?

Are you getting on track with your goals and dreams or do you feel stalled?

Let us know what's going on ... we are all here for you.

How Do You Rank Yourself?

Sometimes we all have crazy weeks. Okay ... sometimes those weeks can drag into months. We aren't unique though. We may be running low on sleep, energy, or even motivation. Our lists may be long and the needs many, but we're driven so we learn to prioritize. Maybe you're working with deadlines. Maybe you're working towards a goal and wonder if you've plateaued. Maybe you feel like you're mostly moving backwards instead of forward. You are most definitely not alone. We ALL have days when we feel like the fan has been turned on and the proverbial crap is flowing.

So, how do we cope? Take a step back and take a deep breath. We go into a closed room and have a minor meltdown. We shed a few tears when someone asks how we're doing because we are feeling overwhelmed. However we respond, it's okay. Why? Because we're human and these are all real, raw human emotions. Sure, we can try to brush off our super powers. We can build our protective walls a little higher and a little thicker, but in the end they will most likely come crashing down.

I am notorious for talking about 'lists'. Lists for shopping, lists of projects to get done, things we aspire to do, goals we want to tackle, places we want to go, and things we want to see ... the lists are endless. Then reality hits. We only have 24 hours in a day and seven days in a week. How can we possibly get it all done if we want to do it all well? I heard someone say the other day, "There are people who can't help but give 100% and then there are people who don't know how to give a 100%. I prefer to surround myself with the people who can't help but give 100%." On one hand, it's a complicated quote. On the other hand, it couldn't be any clearer.

If we're going to do something, we should want to do it well. Overextending ourselves doesn't help anyone. At some point we need to add taking care of ourselves to our lists. The question is, "Where do you rank yourself on your lists?" Too often we push ourselves to page two - or even the bottom of the list. How can we realistically tackle #1-10 if we are #11?

Today's lesson? It's all about finding a balance and it's okay to put yourself toward the top of your list.