It's A New Day

Remember the Bill Murray movie called 'Groundhog's Day'? He played a reporter who woke up every day to the same day ... the day that just kept repeating itself. For many of us, that's what it feels like lately. We've been staying home and staying safe now for more than 4 weeks. The routine is becoming very familiar; as is the daily dinner menu, the layout of the furniture, and the clothing we are wearing. About the only thing that is changing is the length and color of our hair (since the hair salons are all closed).

There have been moments when I've been glued to my social media to make sure my friends and family are doing well. Sadly there have also been moments when I am saddened and disgusted with the things people post (people I know and people I don't know). I get it. People are anxious. They are feeling antsy. In a world where we are blessed to make so many of our own decisions and choose our opportunities, many people feel 'stuck' suddenly being told what to do, where to go, what to buy and not buy, what's considered essential, that they cannot work, etc. I think, for the most part, people understand the severity of the Covid-19 situation and understand that flattening the curve is really about the only recourse we have right now. It's important that we each do our part to the best of our ability. But criticizing each other, critiquing people you'll never meet in person, and judging others doesn't help anyone's situation. Hiding behind your computer screen and typing in all CAPS and emojis, behind your locked doors doesn't make you smarter than the other guy ... it only makes you a bigger online bully (in my opinion).

Let's all take a much-needed step back and take a deep breath. Many people are now lucky enough to be working from home, but maybe they are stressing out about the self-discipline that takes (not to  mention if their spouse is now working from home too). Then there are people who are not working, but are having a very difficult time working through the government's computer systems to file for unemployment, etc. Maybe through no fault of their own they're getting rejected in the systems and trying to navigate the unwanted and unasked for scenarios. Then there's the fears and anxieties that the pandemic itself throws at us. We are all human and all deal with stresses and anxieties (and for many ... depression) differently. But let's remember to not add any unnecessary fuel to the fires. 

We WILL get through all of this and hopefully come out stronger in the end, both mentally and physically. But we need each other to lean on. We'll all have our stronger moments and our weaker ones, so let's be thankful for the support systems we have. Remember to reach out and send that extra text or email, or better yet make a phone call. Check in on each other. Not everyone has the same support system you do.

Yesterday may have been rough, but today? It's a new day and we can pray that it will be a better one.

How are you doing?

How are you coping?

Words Have Power

Words are crucial. I've always said that words, no matter how big or how small, how simple or how extravagant have an enormous amount of power. Words can build a person up just as easily as they can tear someone down. Words can be encouraging and yet words can be destructive. It's great when people take the time to actually think about what they're going to say before they open their mouth.

You've heard the old saying, 'Think twice, speak once'? How true is that? Many times people tend to speak out of reflex; kind of a spur of the moment thing. That's not always good. You could blurt out, 'I love you!' and that would probably be a good thing. But when you speak out of hurt emotions; hatred, grief, or especially jealousy ... well, that's when things can be said that you look back later and maybe wish you hadn't of said them. Words though are like that tube of toothpaste in your bathroom. Once it's out of the tube, you can't shove it back in. Once you choose to say something, good or bad, it's out and you can't get it back. 

You might inadvertently say something mean to someone without intending to. Maybe you're just getting the emotions out. Maybe you think it'll somehow make you feel better. Maybe you're actually trying to have the other person hurt like you're hurting. Sadly, none of these scenarios are beneficial. You won't feel better and being nasty to someone else for no reason won't improve a thing.

The world has been a stressful place lately; people are sick, people are having marital problems, people are experiencing financial burdens, people are looking for jobs, etc. It's normal to look for a reprieve from all the sadness and stress, but not at the expense of other people. It's kind of like the behavior of a bully; you tear someone else down a little in hopes of building yourself up. In the end the bullies only expose themselves for who they really are.

In the midst of all the sadness around us, try to use your words carefully. Take the time to notice people and tell them something nice. Tell them you like their smile. Say 'thank you'. Tell them, 'blue is really your color'. Tell them something positive, something uplifting, or something hopeful. Trust me, we all hear our share of the negative words every day (on the news, on the radio, or in conversation with people). Hearing something positive and just knowing that someone noticed us in a positive way can be really uplifting.

When's the last time you said something nice to a stranger?

When's the last time you said something nice to someone you know?

When's the last time someone said something either 'nice' or 'not so nice' to you? 

How did it make you feel?

What Makes You Stronger?

We all wish we were as strong as Superman, as charismatic at Batman, as swift as Spiderman, and as stylish as Wonder Woman; but truth be told ... they're not real. They're just made up characters in comic books and on the big screen. We are human beings who deal with everyday realities. Sure, we wish we could do it all on our own and never need anything or anyone's help, but that is never the case. We all need to find an inner strength that will help get us over the unexpected hurdles or sometimes just through the day, but it won't always come in the source of kryptonite or a golden lasso.

Finding strength isn't easy. The source may be different for everyone. Just last night my laptop needed to perform 3+ hours of updates to gain it's strength. (BTW ... it's running much better today.) People, though, aren't as predictable, don't come with an instruction book, and certainly can't be compared to machines. 

So, what makes YOU stronger? Is it reviving your faith? Your family gathering in moral support? Or physical exercise making your body stronger? I suppose the first step is to get to the core of the issue. It could be mental, physical or even spiritual. We need to understand that wanting to be stronger doesn't mean that we are weak. It just means we want to be stronger, more solid, and more stable. We can do and be our best when we feel our best. When we feel strong, we feel confident. When we feel confident, we feel capable of more. We should never limit ourselves and should never settle for 'good enough'. We should always strive for more. We deserve to be strong. We deserve to feel invincible. We deserve to feel like a super hero.

When was the last time you felt your strongest? What was your source of strength?

Let It Make You Stronger

I watch my share of reality TV shows when I can, but they've got to be good to hold my interest. This season I've enjoyed watching the American Idol auditions; primarily because of their choice of judges. They give constructive criticism, but in a respectful way. This week they chose their top 30. 30 performers were relieved and elated and excited, while the rest were let down gently. One performer was clearly distraught and overwhelmed and heart broken, but as he came out to join his family Ryan Seacrest said, "Let it make you stronger." 5 simple words = 1 powerful message.

We all experience highs and lows, good times and bad. Many of us have felt grief or misfortune or illness. There are many things in our lives that we have absolutely no control over, yet the one thing we can control has the power to change  a lot. Our attitude and how we choose to deal with life ultimately shows our strengths and our character. We have the ability, even when feeling defeated, to take something positive from a situation. This year I am an 8 year cancer survivor. My treatment took a year of my life that I can never get back, but it was also a year that taught me to dig deep and not give up. I discovered I had more fight in me than I ever dreamed, I rethought a lot of my priorities, my goals, and my dreams. I took a lot of positives away from the experience.

 

Last weekend I gave my first public talk for the American Cancer Society as a 'Voice of Hope'. 8 years ago I never would have seen myself as a public speaker, not to mention having the passion that I do to share my story. If just one person heard something special that day and became proactive with their own health - then everything was worth it.

 

What's something you've overcome or experienced that made you stronger?