Creating A Distraction For Yourself

It's hard to know what to write about when the world seems off kilter right now. Daily press briefings from the Covid-19 Task Force, press briefings from the state governor, schools closing down for the remainder of the current school year, how do people apply for temporary unemployment, etc. Questions ... everyone has questions. How long will people be working from home (assuming you're able to)? How do you get a Covid-19 test if you think you are symptomatic? Will the grocery store have what you need when you venture out of your home to go?

A lot of these questions don't have answers right now. So what do you do to keep your mind (and your body) busy while you are 'staying home to stay safe'?

I've been seeing A LOT of social media ideas ...

• post a picture of a landscape without you in it
• post a picture of a beach
• post a picture of your dog
• post a photo of you and your oldest child to see if you look alike
• play the 'I spy camera roll' game
• post the 8th photo from your phone gallery

The list is endless, with new ones popping up every day. Once we get past all of this (and we will!), we'll know more about each other than we ever thought possible. When we get past all of this (and we will!), let's post a photo of our clean cupboards or the new hat we're wearing to cover up our long overdue haircuts, lol. Things are serious enough, so I am purposely trying to keep it lighter here.

If you're looking for a hands-on project, try checking out Rainbows Over Michigan on Facebook and look through all the colorful and creative projects people have done with their kids. They ARE amazing! Decorate your window, your front door, or even your sidewalk!

What helps you relax and keep your mind busy these days? 

Hobbies? 

Taking a walk? 

Cleaning up the yard?

Not Sweating The Small Stuff

I read a book once (actually I've read many) called 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and It's All Small Stuff' by Richard Carlson, PH.D. It was about learning simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life. There's a lot of wisdom in that little nugget itself. Simplifying things down to their basic core can help you gain (or regain) perspective. The trouble though is that not everything is small stuff and a lot of it isn't even 'your' stuff. That's when things get tricky.

I'll bet if someone did a scientific study on my DNA they would find that besides me being Irish and having more freckles than I can count, I am also a habitual worrier, a planner, a master organizer, one who stresses easily, a born mediator, someone who LOVES a good pizza, etc. The human mind is a very unique thing. Everyone's is different. People behave and react to things differently. What sets one person off and makes them feel anxious sometimes wouldn't bother the person standing next to them in the least. Some of us are detail oriented (to a fault), so much so that we don't miss much. We see how we think things should be and know how we think people should behave, but when things don't fall into our plans in a neat and orderly fashion ... we stress, we worry, and ultimately we try to fix things. Truth is that some things aren't meant to be changed and many aren't even our problems to fix. 

In a perfect world, we could be more objective, be patient, stand back and wait for people to tell us if they needed our help. But I haven't found that perfect balance yet, have you? I see someone else stressing or worrying and I am compelled to be empathetic and feel their stress. Unhealthy for me, I'm sure. Yes, I am one of those people who can watch a Hallmark movie or a Mother's Day commercial and cry before it's even over. 

What am I saying here? That I can admit my strengths, as well as my faults. I care a lot for those in my circle (my family, my friends, my acquaintances, my co-workers, and sometimes even people I've never met). I want to help people. I want to understand what makes them do what they do. I want to fix things. I don't want to stand by and see people hurt (mentally or physically). Those I suppose would be strengths. My weaknesses? Yes, I can be honest - I have those too. I will get hung up on things I shouldn't be stressing over, sometimes little things (like people's behaviors and lack of respect) and sometimes big things (life changing situations). I will admit that when I get hung up on something and can't seem to get past it I've been known to rant about it ... for a while ... probably for way too long. I am not naive enough to think that some of my closest friends don't have moments where they think to themselves, 'Wow, is she still going off about that? Get over it already!' To those friends, I say, 'Thank you for being patient with me. You're the best!' I appreciate them not giving up on me.

What small stuff are you able to put aside and easily get over?

What things do you have a harder time with?

Dilemmas Come In All Shapes And Sizes

Dilemmas can be overwhelming - and sometimes full of drama. A dictionary defines a dilemma as a situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives, especially equally desirable ones. Although in my opinion not all choices are desirable.

When you have to make a tough decision, how do you choose? Do you make a list of the pros and cons? Do you toss a coin? Do you ask someone you trust for advise? Do you put on a blindfold and throw a dart haphazardly at the choices pinned to a board?

Sometimes we simply have to make choices of what we are going to do next or how we are going to handle a situation ... it's not always as easy as picking between 2 new blouses to decide which one we will wear the next day. Sometimes we may be choosing between 2 job offers. We may be deciding if we're going to accept a marriage proposal or worse, get a divorce. We may need to decide if we are going to move and if so, where. So many decisions that need to be made are bigger than we are. The choice we make may not only affect us, but others as well. Wow, if that doesn't add another layer of pressure I don't know what does.

If you are like me (and I hope you aren't, lol) you play through all the possibilities and scenarios in your head ... over and over ... in 3D ... and in living color ... sometimes into the wee hours of the morning. Because who needs sleep anyway? Right?

I often wish I was more laid back like some other people I know. I wish I could ease up on the self-induced pressure and say, 'whatever happens will happen, we'll just wait and see'. Sadly, it's not in my DNA makeup to do that. No, instead I will analyze and play out all the 'what ifs' and then weigh the options and hopefully make a sound choice.

The process in itself can prove to be a dilemma. Dilemmas come in all shapes and sizes. Some we bring on ourselves; and others are dumped in our laps.

What's been your experience with getting through or over a stressful dilemma?

Any successful approaches you would like to share?

When Your Shoulders Begin To Weigh You Down

The month of March arrived with hopes of sunshine, spring weather, and 'yes' even an extra hour of daylight each day. Unfortunately, for many, it has also dropped an extra load of stress, sleepless nights, insurmountable worries, and feelings of uncertainty. So, how do we adjust when our shoulders begin to feel too heavy?

We tell ourselves we just need to get over the current hurdle, cross a few more items off the To Do list, and that things will return to normal soon. But are we kidding ourselves? Will life ever get back to the way that it was or is life today 'the new normal'? For some it's a busy time at work - lots of pending deadlines, for many it's crunch time as April will bring with it final exams for college students, and for others it's having to face unwanted challenges head on.

In the grand scheme of life the important thing we need to remember is that we can do this (whatever THIS is). Why? Because we don't have to do any of it alone. It may feel like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders, but it doesn't have to be that way. My hope is that each of you has at least one person in your corner that you can call, have coffee with, send an email to, or pray with. Let us help balance your stresses, your concerns, and your worries. Don't work so hard at being brave or trying to be a superhero; even superheros needed kryptonite or a golden lasso.

I pray that your upcoming nights will be full of restful sleep, your thoughts will be productive, your mind will gain new clarity, and your shoulders will be a bit lighter.

When Do You Give In To Paranoia?

I've noticed that no one is completely immune to feeling paranoid. People may like to pretend they have thick skin and they can handle just about anything, but what do you do when you begin allowing the negative thoughts to creep in?

Have you ever experienced 'knowing' things that people didn't realize you knew and 'heard' things said about you when they didn't realize you were around to hear them? In cases like these paranoia (to some extent) may be justified; but unless you're willing to do something about it - either file it in the 'useless baggage' file (that's when you have to consider the source), let it go, or learn to deal with it you won't be healthy and won't be able to move forward.

I've found that sometimes confronting people doesn't accomplish anything other than creating more tension. You need to ask yourself whether or not it's worth it. If someone (friend or foe) was speaking negatively about you before will putting them on the spot change anything? Probably not. If they thought so little of your feelings before, more than likely confronting them will only give them more to talk about. There's a saying about not being able to 'change a leopard's spots' or 'adding more fuel to the fire'.

Personally, I'm trying to work on the 'learn to deal with it' approach, because truth be told I've never been too good at the 'let it go' theory. When I feel the negative thoughts trying to stronghold my mind I TRY to be proactive (TRY being the key word). In the summer I will work in my garden, I will take a long walk, or I will make a trip to my 'therapy place of choice' - the library. I blog, I think, I listen to soothing music, and I try to talk the negative thoughts right out of my head. IF people are treating you unfairly, for whatever reason, they don't deserve for you to be worried and stressed. It only creates a nasty 'win win' scenario for them.

What do you do to not give in to the paranoia?