Don't Let IT Win

One year ago we were presented with an unheard of Covid pandemic, lots of new restrictions and requirements, and an immediate lock down. Kids started virtual learning at home rather than going to school, many parents started working their jobs remotely, and the store shelves were mostly void of Lysol wipes and toilet paper. We were told not to leave our homes or see our families, but if we did have to leave to go to the grocery store we were to remain six feet apart and wear masks at all times while in public.

Last March we were told it would last three weeks and people were skeptical about whether or not they could even manage to wear a mask that long. People whined and complained and finger pointed and shared strong opinions on social media (after all, what else can you do from home after you've organized your closets and cleaned your basement, lol). Wow, a whole year has gone by and wearing masks outside of your home has become the new norm. Twelve long months can certainly help you gain some perspective.

Now as three vaccines are slowly becoming available and some people have been fortunate enough to get their shots in the arm, the hope of society gaining some herd immunity is a light in our tunnel. 

There's a saying that suggests if you do something for three weeks it has the ability to become a habit (good or bad). Most people continue to wear their masks in public to reduce the spreading of the virus, something many didn't think they'd be able to stick with a year ago. But there are other aspects of the pandemic to look at as well. We've stayed home, we've stayed out of restaurants and public places, many have been forced to stay out of church (in-person). The truth is that the longer you stay away from something the harder it is for some to go back. There's a sense of excitement for some that things will automatically be like they used to be once they walk back through the doors of their church or office or movie theatre. But for other people they've become so used to being isolated that the idea of being back around people again has become immobilizing. They're nervous and rightfully so. The reality is that the longer we wait to call someone or go somewhere or do something we used to do, the easier it will be for our minds to tell us that we've done fine without it and just don't need it in the same way as we used to.

Please don't let IT win. By IT, I mean the worry, the self-doubt, and the fear. Whatever you have been yearning to get back to, make plans to do it. It's perfectly okay to take baby steps and reacclimate in a way that makes you most comfortable. We didn't ask for the pandemic or the lockdowns or the lack of socializing or conversations with friends and family. We didn't ask for extroverts to be guilted into becoming introverts by forcing them to isolate themselves. This process has taken way longer than three weeks, so it's natural for it to take longer to get back to where we want it to be.

For those who miss seeing their grandkids more regularly or their friends or co-workers in person (anything other than Zoom calls and video chats), know that it will come. Now you need to start preparing yourself for when it does. Don't let your fear and worry dictate to you that it's better for you to give up and close yourself off. Don't let IT win.

How are you faring these days?

What things are you most looking forward to getting back to?

What have you found you've done fine with giving up?

Not Sweating The Small Stuff

I read a book once (actually I've read many) called 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and It's All Small Stuff' by Richard Carlson, PH.D. It was about learning simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life. There's a lot of wisdom in that little nugget itself. Simplifying things down to their basic core can help you gain (or regain) perspective. The trouble though is that not everything is small stuff and a lot of it isn't even 'your' stuff. That's when things get tricky.

I'll bet if someone did a scientific study on my DNA they would find that besides me being Irish and having more freckles than I can count, I am also a habitual worrier, a planner, a master organizer, one who stresses easily, a born mediator, someone who LOVES a good pizza, etc. The human mind is a very unique thing. Everyone's is different. People behave and react to things differently. What sets one person off and makes them feel anxious sometimes wouldn't bother the person standing next to them in the least. Some of us are detail oriented (to a fault), so much so that we don't miss much. We see how we think things should be and know how we think people should behave, but when things don't fall into our plans in a neat and orderly fashion ... we stress, we worry, and ultimately we try to fix things. Truth is that some things aren't meant to be changed and many aren't even our problems to fix. 

In a perfect world, we could be more objective, be patient, stand back and wait for people to tell us if they needed our help. But I haven't found that perfect balance yet, have you? I see someone else stressing or worrying and I am compelled to be empathetic and feel their stress. Unhealthy for me, I'm sure. Yes, I am one of those people who can watch a Hallmark movie or a Mother's Day commercial and cry before it's even over. 

What am I saying here? That I can admit my strengths, as well as my faults. I care a lot for those in my circle (my family, my friends, my acquaintances, my co-workers, and sometimes even people I've never met). I want to help people. I want to understand what makes them do what they do. I want to fix things. I don't want to stand by and see people hurt (mentally or physically). Those I suppose would be strengths. My weaknesses? Yes, I can be honest - I have those too. I will get hung up on things I shouldn't be stressing over, sometimes little things (like people's behaviors and lack of respect) and sometimes big things (life changing situations). I will admit that when I get hung up on something and can't seem to get past it I've been known to rant about it ... for a while ... probably for way too long. I am not naive enough to think that some of my closest friends don't have moments where they think to themselves, 'Wow, is she still going off about that? Get over it already!' To those friends, I say, 'Thank you for being patient with me. You're the best!' I appreciate them not giving up on me.

What small stuff are you able to put aside and easily get over?

What things do you have a harder time with?

Look Forward With Anticipation

Sometimes I get inspiration for a blog post from something I've seen or heard. Situations like these are the best source; the conversations and actions are very real and spontaneous. I was recently part of a conversation regarding 'getting over and past the various struggles that we all face at one point or another'. We talked about the uncertainties that many of us face with with our faith and the ongoing question of WHY something happens; an illness, a death, the loss of a job. WHY would a God so great stand by and watch bad things happen to good people? Many of us question the WHY every day.

Fortunately, we tend to gain perspective as the years go by. When we are initially going through a struggle it's at the forefront of our lives; it's all we can see and all we can focus on. It's only later as time goes by that we recognize the good that came out of the bad. Our character became stronger. Our wisdom got deeper. Our priorities became more clear. 

One person shared that they've learned to look with anticipation at what is coming next. We like to believe that God won't ever give us more than we can handle, that He will provide us with the strength we need to get through and past the struggles. If we focus less on the overwhelming worry of the struggle and think more about 'what is God's plan for me?' the strain on our shoulders may lighten a bit. They shared that when facing a struggle they often find themself wondering, 'What is in store for me down the road, because this struggle is bigger than anything I would have planned? It must be key to God's plan for me.' What an amazing perspective to have.

When you're part of a conversation, it's so important to listen to all sides. You may just walk away with the nugget of strength you need.

Where do you get your inspiration?

Is It Worth It To Worry?

The last week has been overwhelming, to say the least. My brain feels like it's been pulled in about 18 different directions. A lot has been going on; some good, some not so good. Today I came home from work with my annual 'first day of vacation bible school' headache. Don't get me wrong ... I love VBS week. The kids are full of energy, the festive decorations are amazing, the kids are mostly all happy (although there's usually at least 1 crier in the bunch), but what I'm not used to is the number of people that come through my office during the 3 hour span. I finish Day One and recap with the fact that no one got stung by a bee, no one got lost, no one got sick in my office, there were no parental issues to be concerned with, and I didn't get as much done as I normally would on a Monday. All par for the course and all expected.

 

But personally my past week has been exhausting. My daughter is busy preparing for music auditions and to go off to college at the end of the month. My son (the teacher) has been travelling across state lines for multiple job interviews (but I'm glad to report that just this afternoon he accepted an offer). I know people who are dealing with illnesses and surgeries; as well as relationship woes. What can I say, other than it's my nature to be a worrier. I've always been that way. I worry not because I'm expecting doom and gloom, but I worry because I can't shut my brain down. I think and think and then think some more. I think about the possible scenarios, the what ifs, and the potential changes. I suppose in some strange way I think that if I worry, it'll take some of the stress away from other people. Not sure where I came up with that justification. Doesn't really make much sense. Realistically it just means that we ALL worry. Pretty senseless on my part, but it must be part of my DNA because the trait has never gone away and has never gotten any better.

 

I worry about the timing for people, their deadlines, and their options. I don't mean to sound like I'm a meddler. I try not to get involved in other people's dilemmas and situations, but when it's family or friends you can't always help yourself. In the midst of everything life has thrown at us lately I do try to carve out a few quiet moments here and there to read, to escape, and to simply distract myself. It's common knowledge that I often renew my library books 2 or 3 times, because I can't find the time to finish a book, but am stubborn enough to still want to. Ironically I came across a passage in my current book where a mother commented when asked how she liked her new freedom now that her daughter was grown. She responded in part with, "I don't know yet. So far, I still miss making sure she's okay. I miss talking to her several times a day. I still worry that she's going to do something and I won't be there to see, and that she'll need me but I won't be there. Once a mother, et cetera."

 

Hmmm, so maybe it's not so much about being a worrier, maybe it's more about being a mother and a parent. How do you handle the worries, the stress, and the endless 'what ifs'? I'd love to take up yoga, but who am I kidding ... I can't even finish my library books in time. In another month my daughter will be at college and my son will be relocated and teaching high school. My gardens won't need watering or as much pruning. Perhaps things will slow down just a bit. Trust me ... I do have hobbies and plans including my 5K Breast Cancer walk in October. I do have blogging workshops to attend. I'll have sleep to catch up on. And who knows I may even finish a book without having to renew it. 

Try Not To Worry

I attended a Midweek Lent Worship service this week. It was a small service - but packed a big message, one that hit home for me. The scripture basis was Matthew 6:25-34 which discussed 'not worrying' for God was in charge. The last part of the scripture said "So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today."

In a nutshell ... anxiety and worry are human traits. Most of us have been brought up believing that we have to be in control and be responsible for those things that affect our lives. The reality of it is that we can't do it on our own. Some of us get support from our friends, a sibling, a parent, perhaps a spouse ... but God is the one that gives us the most support whether we realize it or not. God's love is infinite - He will take care of us forever. The opposite of anxiety is trust, which is obviously more productive.

Question for the day: What do you worry about? Everyone worries about something ... their health, their finances, their children, their parents, the world, terrorism, etc.

Next question: If everything you worried about was suddenly fixed would you be less stressed or would you find something new to worry about?