Are you feeling reenergized?

It's safe to say that spring is finally here. No more snowfalls. No more cold nights. The grass is getting greener by the day, the flowering trees are budding out, and the daffodils are standing tall. According to the outside, it has switched seasons. But what is your mind saying?

The warmer temperatures may mean lighter jackets and maybe even no socks. That's a great recipe for lifting your spirits. Spring is a good time to think about getting outside, talking to your neighbors, taking walks, and often planning ahead for what to do next. Many people start prepping their gardens and yards. Others will start making plans for vacation getaways.

Where do you feel you left off after a several months of winter? When you're stuck inside and it gets dark out by 5:00 p.m., you fix dinner, maybe read a book or watch some TV, and then go to bed. Motivation to do more tends to shift backwards (of course, not for everyone). You may have headed into March feeling a bit stuck; not wanting to do much. Then April comes and the time changes and suddenly you're coming home after work and you've managed to stop off at the grocery store, fix dinner, clean the kitchen, and discover it's still daylight out.

I'll be honest, the last blog post I wrote was in January and we started the new year. Suddenly I found that three months had flown by and I hadn't written a single word. I didn't sit around doing nothing. I read books, I painted a few pictures, met with friends, went to work, etc. I wanted to blog, but found myself wondering what life-changing words could I possibly share? I felt a little stuck. I wondered this week what exciting things I could write about that others would find encouraging or uplifting. Then I realized I didn't need to put that pressure on myself. Maybe just being honest about where I was at could be enough. Maybe there would be someone else that could relate and we could bond over NOT having a current plan. 

Sometimes it's enough to just be okay. Sometimes it doesn't matter that you don't currently have a magnificent goal or obstacle to conquer. You can still be motivated and happy and driven with the season you are currently in. People aren't always like a calendar telling us what day or season it is and how we should be feeling. Maybe we just need a little more time and aren't quite ready for a big change. Changes (good or bad) are inevitable and will come when they're ready. When that happens we'll just deal and learn to roll with it better. 

Maybe this April I am just a self-proclaimed 'late bloomer'. If that's it, I can be okay with that. After all, not every tree or bush has bloomed yet. Some are taking their time and will be just as beautiful when they're ready.

What to do now? Are you still feeling a bit stuck; maybe not physically, but emotionally? Is this a season of transition for you?

Maybe get back to me when you're ready. I'd love to know where you are at and how you're doing.

How do you measure time?

There are many ways to measure time? Maybe you have a techy calendar on your phone or a paper one on your refrigerator. These will certainly help you keep track of birthdays, vacation days, and upcoming appointments. But what about remembering the seasons of your life? Remembering when you experienced the highs and lows?

People experience different levels and stages in their lives. Maybe you're at the place where you measure your life by everything that happened before and after retirement. Before you had a family to raise or when you started re-experiencing life with an empty nest.

Our parents and grandparents may refer to how life was before or after a war. 

A patient may define their journey as before or after their medical diagnosis. 

A young adult may label their accomplishments as before or after their college graduation.

Whatever category you find yourself in it's interesting to understand the perspective you bring to the table. What situations or life events altered your journey?

Almost anyone these days could measure family gatherings or vacations as before Covid complicated life or now when people have resumed many of their activities.

How do you measure your life; what you've accomplished or what your current goals are? 

What stage do you find yourself in?

It's A New Year

So here we are; a couple of weeks into a new year. Does 2022 seem any different to you so far compared to 2021? Not too much, huh? We made it through the Christmas and New Year's holidays. Hopefully you had a little down time, some family time, some time to recharge and re-evaluate, and some time spent just for you. 

New Year's is a good time for reflection. How did you fare in 2021? Did you accomplish some of things you set out to do? Did you do some planning for your future; perhaps some career goals, relationship goals, or health related goals? Realize that any goals you set for yourself are long-term. We're only 2 weeks into the new year, don't expect to have set the world on fire just yet. Allow yourself some grace (or maybe a lot). Goals are journeys and journeys are achieved one step at a time. Don't be in a rush. Don't think that just because we put a new, clean calendar on the fridge that we should have everything done or on its way. We have lots of time ahead of us. Take your goals and chop them up into smaller goals; less pressure and more achievable.

Maybe 2022 won't be the year you get the promotion you were hoping for, or win the lotto, or start the new business you've been dreaming about ... but that's okay. Maybe 2022 will be the year the Covid pandemic finally ends, maybe we'll quit using the term 'getting back to normal' (since many of us have forgotten exactly what that was), maybe we'll decide on a new normal that we like better - one that has a better life balance, maybe we'll plan the family reunion that kept getting postponed ... lots of maybes.

It's only January, perhaps our focus right now should just be about discovering our course and taking the first step - whatever that looks like for you.

I wish you a new year filled with less stress and anxieties, better sleep, some home cooked meals, and more time with family and friends (whether that be in-person or phone calls or texts). Find what works for you right now but make an effort to stay connected. One of the worst side effects of the pandemic that I've seen has been self-isolation. We want to be smart, we want to be careful, but we also can't get too comfortable being alone. It's human nature to need other people. When someone invites you to lunch, go! You can pick a time that is less crowded and still be smart and careful about it. We have to remember that we still need to live. We still need to nourish our souls with companionship and laughter. We can be serious and human at the same time. It's all about good choices and balance.

I say GO FOR IT! Make 2022 the year that you want or 'need' it to be.

Any plans you want to share? Might inspire the rest of us.

Ringing In A New Year

2020 was a year so different than any I remember in my lifetime. It was a year filled with fear, anxiety, a pandemic, uncertainties, inconveniences, hatred from strangers (and people we knew), a nasty election (well that part wasn't so different, they usually resume every four years), lots of worries, and searching for answers. It seemed like everyone was ready in full force to be done with 2020 and start fresh with a new year. I am on board with that notion, not because I know that switching the calendar to January 1st will necessarily change anything overnight, but mentally I am ready to start fresh with the HOPE of better things to come with the new year.

I asked readers what they were looking forward to in 2021 and got answers like 'some sense of normalcy', 'being able to see family and friends more', 'scheduling some of the events and activities that we cancelled last year'. It's normal that we miss being in church (and yes, I know that some churches have been meeting anyway; a service for maskers and one for non-maskers - that's a little hard for me to wrap my brain around). People miss gathering in groups larger than 2 or 3. We miss going to lunch with people outside our own household and talking for hours. We miss going to a hockey game or a baseball game. We miss going to a movie theatre and having more than a few people there and being able to purchase overpriced snacks while we're there. We miss travelling and planning our next adventure.

Me? I miss wearing lipstick! I miss seeing my small group in person on a regular basis. I miss the hugs. I miss eating a meal out. I'm tired of ordering a carryout when the order is wrong 50% of the time. I miss the human contact. I miss seeing smiles, or frowns (any sort of visual communication).

Usually on January 1st I'd write about what my goals are and what I hope to accomplish in the coming year. Today feels different. Instead, I have been reflecting on 2020 and thinking about how I reacted to the obstacles. Did I handle things well or could I have done better? What did I learn about myself that might help me be stronger in 2021?

I spoke with someone the other day and they reminded me that as busy and as different as life has been this past year, that I matter too (something I tend to forget too often). It's my nature to be the caregiver, the organizer, the mediator, the one who puts out potential fires, and the good listener. I have 57 years of experience of putting other people's needs first. That needs to change. I spent so much time in 2020 putting myself in overdrive to accommodate everyone else, that I let a part of myself slip away. The ironic thing is that very few people even noticed because their needs were being met so they just assumed I had it all together, Truth be told, none of us have it all together, some of us are just really good at hiding it. This year I need to let some things go. I need to ask other people to do their share, rather than taking it all on myself. I need to speak up more for myself. If I don't like what I see or hear, I need to worry less about people's reactions to my opinions. Why should everyone else get to voice their thoughts, but I feel like I just have to play along? I've never liked conflict and usually avoid it all costs. I've learned that when you hold parts of yourself back for too long, then those parts will either overflow into a noisy messy situation or they'll dissolve along with a part of what makes you who you are.

Let 2021 not be all about making more money or losing more weight. Let it be the year that you fully examine who YOU are and embrace it. If by doing so it causes a little discomfort with people in your life, then that's okay. You can't do everything for everybody else forever. Maybe by me learning to stand up more for myself, other people in my life will learn that they're capable of standing a little stronger as well.

How are you feeling about 2021?

A Love-Hate Relationship

According to the calendar today is the official first day of autumn. Some people would say it's already been here for weeks since we've seen fall and Halloween decorations in the stores already; pumpkins, corn stalks, mums, and spooky spider webs. The coffee shops have already introduced their pumpkin spice flavors. The local cider mills are bustling with cider and donuts, petting zoos for the kids, and corn mazes. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE autumn. I love the color changes on the trees, the crisp mornings, and the fun of getting out my thick and cozy sweaters. But somehow it just doesn't quite seem like autumn this week. The temperatures here in the mitten have been above 80 all week, closing in on 90 today and tomorrow.

My flowers and plants are a bit confused; the leaves are turning brown but the flowers are blooming for a third time. The calendar and previous years tell me that towards the end of September it's time for me to deadhead my flowers, trim back my perennials, and start to prep my gardens for their dormant season. But this morning I had to work outside well before 7:30 a.m. in order to get my work done before it got too hot. That's right, it was already over 70 degrees when I woke up.

There is a part of me that is ready for summer to be over. I am tired of being too warm. I am looking forward to the cool breezes and the sweaters when I take an evening walk, but then it seems like autumn flies right by and we move straight into the winter months. While I may whine about the warm temperatures, I will whine even more when I have to drive on icy roads. I guess I just like to whine a lot, lol.

For all the people who love the cold or the warm temperatures year round, I take my hat off to you. I, on the other hand, look forward to the variety. Here in the mitten we have four seasons and for that I am thankful. I am not sure how I would do if EVERY month was the same. Just like shoes and a good haircut, change is a good thing.

What's your favorite thing to do in the fall?

Are You REALLY Too Busy?

How many times have you reached out to make plans with someone and been told, 'I'm sorry, I'm just so busy right now.'? Then you ponder through Facebook posts and see comments and photos of that other person doing something or going somewhere with someone else. So, they were too busy for you, but not too busy to 'check in' at a local restaurant?

 

I get it. We all have lots of family, friends, and acquaintances. We all have a lot of responsibilities and only so many hours in a day. The next time you turn someone down on an invitation ask yourself this, 'Am I REALLY too busy or am I just not that interested?' OR 'Am I taking this person for granted; after all their time is just as valuable as mine?' Sometimes it's better to be truthful and find a nice way to say it, than to continually put people off for no other reason than 'I'm so busy right now.' Because as long as we're being honest you obviously found time to do the other things you wanted to do. I guess it all comes down to choices and making your priority list. IF you truly value a person's time and friendship you will find a way to fit them into your schedule, after all you manage to fit the 'other stuff' in. I guarantee someone would rather hear, 'I can't do lunch next week, but how about we meet up for a cup of coffee instead?'

 

People are unique, they're funny, they're giving, they're compassionate, and surprisingly they have feelings too. If you're only available for certain people when it's convenient for you, then it's more of a YOU issue than a THEM issue. You are the one that is valuing your own time more than other people's. You are the one who, for some reason, seems to think your feelings and schedules are the only ones that matter. You are the one who needs to take a closer look at what is really important. When you finally take the time to look deep inside and figure some of that out, don't be surprised if you've pushed a few people away in the process. Don't be shocked when you finally make the time to call them and ask to make plans if they say, 'I'm sorry, but I'm so busy right now.'

Welcome to March !!

I don't know about you but I couldn't be happier to flip the calendar today. February always seems to throw me off a bit since it's shorter; granted it's only by a couple of days - but sometimes that's all it takes. Then 2012 threw in an extra day for leap year. For me that just messed things up a little more.

So why am I anxious for March? Not because I'm trying to rush anything, that's for sure. Truth be told, I would prefer to slow down time if I could. And certainly not because my husband will say he's closer now to putting the Christmas tree back up. It could be because I'm Irish and like wearing green for St. Patrick's Day. It could be because the first day of Spring is in March and I get anxious to start planning the color schemes for my garden areas at home and at church. It could be because it's my birthday month and I get coupons in the mail from DSW, Vera Bradley and my favorite restaurant (Pasquale's). Let's face it .... March is just an AWESOME month.

What's your favorite month of year? Let's be fair - now you have to tell us all why.