What's your wish?

I had a birthday this week. With that celebration came the annual ritual or option of blowing out a candle and making a wish. I thought about it for a moment and figured, why not? Suddenly the candle is being set into the frosting and the lighter is getting prepped. Instantly all kinds of thoughts swirled through my head. Is this wish supposed to be for something serious; good health, financial security, an end to pending wars and Covid? Or should it be more lighthearted and for something fun? Should I wish for good things for those around me for things they've been working towards OR should I allow myself to be selfish and think solely of me? 

I know; you're probably thinking 'it's your birthday, of course it should be about you'.

Does this wish have to compare to a New Year's resolution? Probably not, because resolutions require goals and agendas and motivation and usually A LOT of hard work.

A wish should be more of a gift, perhaps a gift you simply give to yourself. Maybe you'll get what you wish for and maybe not, but nothing ventured nothing lost. Maybe it's simply about giving yourself permission to think outside of the box, to step out of your comfort zone, and to simply GO FOR IT ... whatever IT is for you.

In that split second that seemed to drag into ten in slow motion, I decided to wish for something different. Nothing tangible or measurable; but something more like courage. I wished to tap into my inner creativity and challenge myself to try something new. Something I had thought about and envisioned doing, but then my head would overthink each step. I wished for the courage to just let myself try. If I fail that's okay, at least I tried. But if I don't try how will I ever know whether or not I was capable of doing it?

What is IT for me? What was my wish about? I'm not sure I'm quite ready to share that part. I will give it a try and then share my results; good or bad.

What will you be wishing for when it's your turn?

You're Worth 39 Cents

Do you ever feel guilty for spending money on yourself? Do you ever contemplate whether or not a purchase is necessary or even too extravagant? Or do you never think about it and just say to yourself, 'I'm worth it!' Everyone is undoubtedly different in this respect.

As a general rule I never buy anything for myself that isn't at least on sale. Maybe I held on to the habit from when I was a mother of young children. I would always save what I didn't spend on myself so I could spend it on them. There was always the hockey equipment that needed to be replaced, or the new dance shoes and costumes ... which later became braces ... which later became musical instruments ... which later became college tuition. Don't get me wrong, I always wanted to put my family first; that's what I chose when I decided to become a parent.

Even after these expenses were no longer on the table, good or bad - the habits remain ingrained in my brain. Occasionally I will splurge on a manicure, but most often I paint my nails myself. I pay to get my hair cut professionally (because I stink at it lol), but I choose to do the color myself (at least for as long as I am able to, plus I like the color). I can afford these things, but some habits die hard I suppose.

Last week I went for a massage. I do this once a month, but at first I had a really hard time convincing myself to do it. At least until my husband reminded me that I needed to look at it a different way. As a 13 year breast cancer survivor I still deal with some long term effects of lymphedema in my right arm. It will never get any better, but it can be maintained to some degree by keeping the lymph fluid flowing (that's where the massage comes in). The physical therapy office where I go for it runs a special 4x a year; buy one massage and get the second one at 40% off. The receptionist asked me how many specials I wanted, to which I replied, 'Just one'. I know I will use them and I could afford to buy more, but I can't bring myself to justify purchasing more at one time for them to sit idly in the drawer waiting to be used. Silly, I know, especially since I WILL use them. The funny part was that when I told this to the receptionist she laughed and said, 'I know exactly what you mean. I went to a KFC once for the $5.00 box special because I wanted a pot pie with a drink and a cookie. I asked to get a lemonade. The cashier said it would be a 39 cent upgrade.' I said, 'Did you get it?' She replied, 'Yes, but sadly I contemplated for at least 10 seconds whether I should, but then decided I WAS WORTH IT.'

The moral of this little story? You ARE worth it! You are worth the 39 cents and a whole lot more. 

I am still a work in progress and probably always will be, but I'm beginning to learn that it's okay to splurge on me once in a while. 

What is something you choose to go without?

What is something you allow yourself to splurge on?

What helps you make the choice?

Does Your Heart Listen To Your Head?

We've all had moments when we had to make big decisions; those decisions that make you stay awake all night playing out every possible scenario in your head. What if I choose (fill in the blank) and it's the wrong choice? What if it's not the right time to (fill in the blank)? What if I choose one direction and find out later I should have gone the other way?

The thing is that none of us have a crystal ball. None of us have someone that can tell us what the right choice is. The choices we are presented with aren't always clear; we won't always know what to do or if the choice is really what is being presented. Maybe we think it is offering us one thing, when in reality it really isn't. Sometimes if an opportunity seems too good to be true, chance are it might be. It's always going to be difficult to know.

When you have to make a big decision or a choice, people will say to 'go with your gut', 'trust your instincts'. Then you have to ask yourself, 'Do you tend to react with your heart or with your head'. Those that react with their heart may be more emotional; how will something make you feel? Happy, sad, stressed, needed, appreciated? Some tend to react more with their head. They will look at a situation or decision and think about the pros and the cons. What will the job offer? How much time will I be on the road and away from my family? Will the choice they make get them where they want to be and doing what they what to do?

Choices can be about relationships, finances, starting families, choosing the right health treatment, new jobs, taking risks, going back to school, etc. We all make tough choices and make decisions each and every day. We need to have faith that whatever decisions we make are the right ones for us. Will we make mistakes? Undoubtedly, we are human after all. Will we learn from our mistakes? Hopefully so. Will whatever choices we make in our lifetime develop and define our character? You bet they will.

When you have a big decision to make do you tend to go with your heart or your head?

Does your heart ever listen to your head or vice versa?

Does making a big decision tend to keep you up at night?

Making the BIG Decisions

Every day we are faced with decisions; what time do we need to get up, how much travel time should we allow to get to our job, what should wear, or should we plan a vacation? But these are all routine, not necessarily life changing decisions. The BIG decisions are the ones that will change ours or someone else's lives; have you had too much to drink to get behind the wheel of a car, is it really ok for you to be texting while driving, should you stay in a harmful relationship, or how do you help a troubled child or an aging parent?

The BIG decisions are the ones that you will lose sleep over; the ones that will make you second guess your every thought. So how do we make those decisions? How do we know when our decision is right? Those are tricky questions and won't always have a definitive answer. We may not know that our choice or decision is right, but we do the best we can. We think the situation through, we ponder the endless possibilities and solutions, and then we pray. We pray for strength. We pray for clarity. We pray for hope. And we pray for patience and understanding; for ourselves and everyone else involved.

 

As usual, I don't pretend to have all the answers. When I see people struggling with having to make an important decision all I can is be supportive and be a sounding board. Sometimes just having someone listen can be helpful.

 

What was the last BIG decision you had to make? How did you manage?

Why are some decisions harder than others?

Today I entered a Facebook post that simply asked 'Why do we struggle with decisions some days more than others?' A friend responded rather quickly suggesting that it would make a good 'Insights Are Blooming' topic. Well, there you go ... talk about inspiration.

Decisions can come in all shapes and sizes and sometimes with a lot of strings attached. Some decisions are what I like to call 'no-brainers', while trying to make other decisions often cause us to lose sleep. Those are the difficult life-changing ones. I don't think there is a one of us who doesn't have to make at least one decision a day ... our lives are overflowing with choices. What should we wear to work today? What should we pack in our child's school lunch (that we hope they will actually eat)? Should we put time aside this week to actually call that friend or relative who is still waiting to hear from us? Should we plan a vacation or stick close to home? Should we downsize our home when our kids are grown and out of the house? Should we hold on to hope and try the medical treatment that might save our life? Should we retire or continue working for another year or two?

Everyone's 'choices' that are currently weighing them down may or may not be just like those of the person next to you. We often think we are faced with decisions that no one else could possibly understand. We often feel alone. At the same time, we just might be more like the person standing next to us than we thought. Making serious decisions can be difficult. Of course, we need to do our research and weigh all of our options. Be thorough, but in the end trust yourself.

What was your most recent decision (serious or trivial)?