Protecting Your Spirit

We are now twelve days into a the new year. Many have successfully set goals for themselves. Many have already broken their resolutions. Where do you stand? Are you starting out the year knowing what you want and where you want to be?

Each year I begin by hoping for clarity; trying to decide exactly where I see myself and most importantly, what will it take for me to get there. What kind of effort and commitment will I need to garner up? Do I see myself ten pounds lighter? Do I see deeper and growing relationships with my friends? Do I see new projects on my horizon?

Lately, what I've been striving for is reclaiming my strength. I see myself stronger; in body, mind, and spirit. That's no easy task, for sure. It's a very complicated process. I need to take better care of my body. I need to succeed more at reducing stress. And most importantly, for me, is learning to nurture my spirit. My spirit is what drives me more than anything else. It's that voice inside of me that pushes me to try harder, to walk further, to be more creative, and to learn to trust my instincts more. There are always going to be more voices telling us why we can't or shouldn't do something, that we aren't good enough, and that we don't have anything valuable to offer. We need to learn to drown those voices out more with the voice of strength that lies inside each one of us. Some days the voice of my spirit is nothing more than a whisper, but some days it wants to shout loud enough to shake the walls. Those are the days when I have to stop and pay attention.

It's okay to try to achieve things that other people think are silly or impossible. It's okay to go after what makes you happy and whole. I'm learning that sometimes it's even okay to put yourself first.

Putting yourself first ... that's the trickiest of them all, especially if you have relationships with other people. Being a wife - I try to be supportive to my husband. Being a mom (and it doesn't matter how old your kids are) - we worry about them. Being part of a care giving team - there are always lots of unexpected stresses. Being an employee - you try to always put your best effort forward. There are always the same number of hours in a day, but sometimes the demands we're dealt exceed the amount of time we have, leaving nothing left over for us. Our spirit needs to be supported as well; I'm discovering that the weaker my spirit is, the less I have to give to everyone else.

So ... my goal for this year? To improve my body, challenge my mind, and protect my spirit.

How are your goals going so far? 
Anything I can do to be supportive?

CHANGE Is Always Just Around The Corner

Some of us spend a lot of time trying to figure life out. We try to anticipate what will come next so we can better prepare ourselves, but things are always changing. Sometimes change is a good thing and sometimes it can be overwhelming. Some changes are overdue and welcomed, others can send us into a tizzy and make us feel defensive.

I was speaking with a group of ladies the other day and we were discussing some of the current changes in our lives. Our schedules have become different. Some of our longtime holiday traditions are changing. Our routines are becoming different each year. A lot of these changes are to be expected as we get older, as our children grow up and have families of their own, and as our family dynamics change. These changes will take time and patience to grow accustomed to them, but we will need to find a way to accept the changes. 

Then there are the changes that turn our lives temporarily upside down. We lose a job as the companies we work for downsize or merge. We get an unwelcome diagnosis from our doctor. We unexpectedly lose a loved one. These are the kinds of changes that we aren't expecting and have no control over. We have no time to prepare ourselves; we are dealt a blow and left to deal with it. These changes will take time (sometimes it will take a long time and that's okay).

If you are facing a change that you feel is wrong or not in your best interest, it is okay to challenge it in a healthy and well thought out way (if you are in a position to). IF despite your best efforts the change still happens, you will need to find a way to accept it and move on. It's not healthy to hold on to the baggage it will leave behind or the strain on your shoulders. If nothing else, you will know in your heart that you did everything you could, that you tried to be a part of the solution. There's nothing worse than not being happy about something and then some day realizing that you never did anything constructive to try to cope with it.

While sitting with this group of ladies I was reminded of the serenity prayer.

Next time you are expected to welcome a change of some sort, remember this prayer. It always helps me to gain perspective, helps calm my nerves, and lessens the strain on my shoulders just enough to move forward.

Is there change in your life right now? A positive one or a negative one? How are you handling it and more importantly do you have a support system in place to help you deal with it? 

Keep in mind, the best thing we can do for someone else is after we ask them 'How are you doing?' be prepared to actually listen to their response.

What motivates you?

What is your current goal? What is your long term goal? What makes you finally define something as more than just a passing thought, but rather as a goal (which requires commitment)?

Do you want to lose 10# to wear that special dress to a wedding at the end of the summer? Are you interviewing for your first post-graduate job? Are you trying to save money to tackle a certain project that's been on the back burner for too long? Do you want to finally get your life (and basement) organized?

Why do you want to achieve whatever 'it' is? Will accomplishing 'it' make you feel more fulfilled?

What will it take to make you succeed? Your passion? Your unbelievable drive? The potential end result? Will it be your amazing support system or giving yourself a deadline that will help you succeed?

There are self-help books on the market. There are motivational tapes you can listen to (if you still have access to a Walkman). There are life coaches and fitness trainers who will help you stay on track.

I'm not talking about the achieving the predictable New Year's Eve resolutions or the 'it's time to get back into the summer swimsuit challenges'. I'm talking about conquering your fears in the here and now. What is it you REALLY want to do? Why do you want it so bad that you're willing to put yourself in a vulnerable position to go after it? Who is in your corner to support you? How will you feel when you get to the top of YOUR mountain? What will your mountaintop view look like?

I know what MY current challenges are and why I want to overcome them; I want to lose the nagging 5-10# that will never go away, I want to sleep through the night more than two nights in a row, I want to spend more time with my granddaughters, I want to be able to give myself permission to carve out the occasional ME time and not feel guilty for doing it, and I want to learn how to forgive and move on. I am a work in progress, but that's okay ... at least if I am in progress I must be moving forward.

How about you? 

What are your current challenges and how can I help you over come them?