What does your happy place look like?

Everyone needs a happy place. A place where you can find peace and relaxation. A place that brings back fond memories or makes you smile. A place that lowers your blood pressure. For some people their happy place might be an exotic destination that they travel to, their cozy home that makes them feels safe, or heading to their cottage up north. A happy place doesn't even have to be a 'place', it could be more about the scenery or activity.

For some it might be reading a good book by the pool, drinking their morning coffee on the deck while the birds sing, or weeding in their garden where they visibly see the results of their efforts. It could be taking a walk in the evening or listening to your favorite throwback music and dancing around in your living room. For me that would be anything disco! Don't judge.

For some taking a drive with no particular destination in mind could be relaxing and adventurous. How about going to a theatre to watch a movie that takes you to another place and through someone else's story?

Yes, everyone needs a happy place. More importantly, everyone deserves a happy place.

For me, I love going to Mackinac Island. As soon as I have locked my car and set foot on the ferry and the island is in my sights I begin to feel at ease. When I arrive at the dock it's all about the sights, and smells, and the feeling that I get. For a couple of days I will walk and walk and walk. There will be no stop signs or flashing stop lights. There will be no cars with honking horns. There will be lots of people watching and horse watching and dog watching. There will be strolls on the waterfront and looking for interesting rocks. There will be a picnic lunch on the lawn at the park staring out at the marina. There will be breathtaking sunsets and taps played at 10:00 p.m. from the fort on the hill. And I will wake up in the mornings with the window open and the sounds of horse's hooves clip-clopping on the street.

What does your happy place look like? 

Are you being still or doing something?

How does it make you feel?

Getting Back To What Makes You Happy

We all recognize the things that stress us out or make us feel uncomfortable or unhappy. But how many of us actually take the time to look at and discover the things that rejuvenate us, inspire us, or make us smile? We are often caught up in doing things for other people and being responsible that we tend to forget about ourselves. That would be me, for sure. By the time you get done dealing with a never-ending pandemic, all of its rules and guidelines that change daily, striving to keep everyone happy at work or home, doing grocery shopping and meal planning, taking care of your children (or your elders); that's when we have an epiphany and realize we're tired, overwhelmed, underwhelmed, or we're plain burned out. Not to worry, these feelings can be temporary.

I did the best I could to deal with my stress and new anxieties this past year, but some days it definitely felt like an uphill battle. I realize I am not the only person who has felt this way, but that doesn't stop you from feeling alone in that moment. Sometimes, my biggest hurdle has been looking for the beauty in the moment, then stopping to give myself permission to embrace it. Thank goodness my boss and his family got a new dog and have allowed me to spend time with him a few hours a week at the office. Can you say unconditional love? That golden retriever has been a true life saver.

I've always been a planner, scheduler, list-maker, and organizer. These traits alone could make anyone tired. Then I plan ahead and book a weekend retreat for a month later so I can be sure I have all my ducks in a row and everyone will be taken care while I'm gone. Only then do I give myself permission to try and focus solely on myself. It's a tough nut to crack, for sure.

Lately my approach has been to try to be spontaneous (ha). (I'm honest enough to not say "try to be more spontaneous" because that would mean I already know how to act in the spur of a moment. That's not my strong suit.) I have begun to realize that there are moments when a good opportunity presents itself and that's when you have to ask yourself, "Can I make this work? I need this." Make that needed effort and try. If it works out for you, that's awesome. If it doesn't, then at least you gave it a shot and will have a better idea of how to make it work the next time.

About a week and a half ago, my daughter mentioned an event she wanted to attend on Mackinac Island (our favorite place for mother-daughter trips). My first thought I am embarrassed to say was jealousy. Hey, I wanted to go, but immediately shot myself down that I couldn't do it. Heck - she hadn't even invited me, it was her idea. So I smiled and said, "That sounds like fun. We've never been there to see the autumn colors." To which she replied, "Do you want to go with me?" My heart fluttered a little and I started compiling the usual list of reasons why I couldn't. I thought about it for a couple of days and thought, "No, I want to do this and I should do this. This is exactly what I have been striving for - to appreciate the moments more." I worked it out and here we are! On this magnificent island, listening to the hooves of the horses and the horns of the ferry boats. Today we walked, we ate, we had some good conversation, we read a little, she went to her event this evening, and tomorrow we will venture home.

I've come to realize that feeling anxious isn't a sign of weakness. Discovering what makes you feel grounded and happy (even for a moment) is a sign of strength and awareness. These are my baby steps to feel more leveled and to take better care of my mind and body.

What steps have YOU taken? 

What have you discovered makes you happy?

A Lesson In Trust

Many of you may have heard that I'm out of town this week watching my granddaughter. Watching a 6 1/2 week old for a week is something I haven't done in 20 years. People say it's like 'riding a bike'. That may be true. Riding a bike reminds me of my mini vacation just a few months ago with my daughter to Mackinac Island. The island of fudge, seagulls, walkers, horses, and LOTS of bikes. We saw people of all ages, sizes, athletic ability, and energy riding bikes around the island. There were single speed bikes, 3 speed, 7 speed, kid's bikes, and tandem bikes; but all had the option of having a fashionable (but practical) basket on the front. My daughter, being the witty one that she is, said that riding on the back of a tandem bike was a real lesson in trust. It teaches you real quick how to be part of a team, how to listen to your co-rider, and how not to make the world all about you.

So, with that in mind, me spending time with my granddaughter this week is not only a lesson of trust for me, but also for her parents. I commend them for knowing I will take excellent care of her while they're at work and for being able to trust me with their most worthy and newest family member. I think we've all done well so far this week. There have been a few tears and a few moments of anxiety, BUT there have also been smiles, giggles, hugs, and 3 nights in row of a little princess sleeping through the night. Yes, all is good on the western side of the mitten this week.

Here's to another 3 great days. I've already learned not to look at the calendar, not to answer the phone as 'King of kings Lutheran Church', and how to change a diaper in under 15 seconds! Like I said, 'We're all learning here.'

I hope your week is going good and you've learned something new as well; or at least been reminded of something you'd forgotten about. Let's face it, we can all use a little reminding from time to time.