A Reflection of 2020

2020 has been unique in many ways. It definitely has not been the year to say you achieved this goal or that goal; took the vacation you wanted and planned for, got the new job or promotion you were working toward, or now have the new relationship you were hoping you'd have (unless you managed to pull off an outdoor Covid wedding).

Looking back as we get ready to close out 2020 you'll see it has been a year when we learned to appreciate the milestones. 

• Working from home and adapting to a new schedule that involved virtual learning for your children or working at your office (often alone) and finding ways to accept the new sense of loneliness.
• You mastered zoom meetings and online family gatherings.
• You learned not to take time for granted, but appreciate the moments more.
• You may have realized and had to accept some friendships/relationships for what they were and more importantly what they weren't.

2020 has been the year when I learned to paint, people found and invested time in new hobbies, and we arranged garage and backyard socially-distanced small gatherings. Many people learned to look beyond themselves and do things not just for themselves, but for the greater good of those around them. We learned to deal with our sense of patience and understanding (or lack of) when we discovered we had to be more creative in the ways we saw and did things.

Maybe we will look back at 2020 as a year filled with self-discovery; a time when we what saw what depths of strength we really had.

Flipping the calendar to 2021 won't change life overnight - it won't eliminate any losses we've faced, lessen any grieving, or miraculously make things 'normal' again. It will be a sign that we are survivors and ready for a new year, hopefully one filled with newfound hope, resilience, and a renewed faith.

What is something you discovered about yourself during 2020?

Things I Wish I Never Had To Worry About

These are crazy times. The current list of things one could worry about is endless. On a normal day people find themselves worrying about their finances, relationships, or an unexpected diagnosis. 2020 has been a year like no other that I remember in my lifetime. Throw in the stresses and ugliness of a recent presidential election and add a Covid-19 pandemic on top like a cherry on a sundae. Some days it can feel like TOO much.

We are now nearing the holidays; Thanksgiving is next week and Christmas a month after that. Now we have tighter Covid-19 restrictions in our state for at least the next three weeks (after the last eight months, we KNOW it will be more than three weeks). Our holidays this year will be very different. Most of us know at least one person who has experienced a Covid birthday already. Thanksgiving (for most of us) will be quieter and more subdued. Personally while I will be fixing dinner for my immediate family of three, I think I will pull out the good china but stay in my cozy sweats. This year's theme is about being flexible and learning to go with the flow.

Worry comes in many shapes and sizes and there are those days when we wish we didn't have to worry about the big things OR the little things. 

We wish we didn't have to worry about whether or not someone had enough food to eat.

We may wish someone would remember us.

There's times we worry whether someone has Covid-19 just because they routinely sneezed after raking the leaves in the yard.

We wish we didn't have to worry about people remembering to respect each other and get along.

We worry about potential confrontations when people don't wear a mask. None of us like wearing them, but we're doing what we can to be part of a solution.

What is something you have found yourself worrying more about this year than in years past?

How will you keep calm today?

Today in the U.S. it is election day; a 2020 presidential election while still coping with a Covid-19 pandemic. This one will definitely be one for the history books (for many reasons). I didn't sleep much last night. I often find it difficult to shut my brain off with everything that has been going on lately. I tend to think too long about too much; so I finally decided to just get up, especially since I had set my alarm for an hour earlier so that I could stand in line and vote before going in to work. It was a brisk morning, but the skies were clear and everyone standing in line outside the precinct was friendly and orderly. All good things for sure. Hopefully the rest of the day goes as smoothly for the rest of the voters.

As if many people haven't been stressed and feeling anxious enough lately about the pending election, now we get to feel anxious about the results. It goes without saying that half of the voters will be saying, 'Woohoo! We won.' and the other half will be accusing the other party of cheating. After everything I have witnessed about humanity in recent months I have come to expect nothing less. In the next few days there will be celebrations by some and accusations by others. There will be gloating and there will be hurt feelings. For today people will share their voice and vote. For today people will talk about peace and the need to be kind. But what happens tomorrow? How many of those same people will forget today's words of unity.

I wish I knew the right words to share that would instill confidence and hope for everyone. I wish my magic wand didn't have years of dust on it and with a simple wave through the air would create an instant and lasting sense of calm.

For now to maintain some sense of focus through the rest of my day I will take my boss's puppy outside for a few walks (it's a perfect day for puppy therapy!). I promised myself that if I even turn the TV on tonight it would only be to start binge watching another season of the British Baking Championship. I just finished season one on the weekend. The LAST thing I need tonight is to start watching election results where every news station will want to be the first to get the scoop and declare a winner with only 1% of the votes having been tabulated. By voting this morning I've done what I can to be part of the process. Hopefully the results will be the voice of the people, will be accepted as that, and people will remember tomorrow the words of unity that they spoke of today.

Have you voted yet?

How will you stay calm as you await the results?

Do you wish you could better define your time?

How is it possible that it can feel like life is going by slowly and quickly at the same time? Time is a hot commodity. It can be the thing that we need more of in order to find a solution or a cure. It's the thing we need to use wisely in order to get our projects done and be able to meet our deadlines. It's the balance we need to find between working, stressing, and relaxing. It's the thing we often need to remind ourselves to take more of for ourselves. 

In a world where people seek instant gratification and being able to get anything at the click of a mouse and a solid Internet ... ultimately time is the one thing we cannot buy.

There are days when we'd like to slow time down; like when watching our children grow up. There are moments when we wish time would stand still; watching them sleep peacefully in their crib and not having any worries.

Then there are the days when we wish time would travel a little faster; usually when we're waiting on a test result or getting a decision back on something we've been waiting for.

What would you do if you knew exactly how much time you had? Would the amount of time you have change how you live your life? Would it affect the choices and decisions you make?

What would you do if you could acquire more time? Would you finally finish something you've been putting off for 'some day'?

What if we worried less about living for tomorrow and started living more for today? What if we procrastinated less and re-prioritized our lives more so that the amount of time we actually have wouldn't dictate to us what to do and when? What if we started living each day as if it were our last and we had fewer regrets?

What do you wish you could move to the top of your list? 

What would make you feel more fulfilled?

Finding Peace Amidst The Chaos

Life can get pretty crazy; lately that seems to be just about every day. You may go to bed at night and think, 'Whew! I made it through all the curve balls today. Tomorrow has to be better.' Then you wake up the next morning to a whole new batch of craziness. Today's world is filled with chaos, distractions, mixed emotions, loads of responsibilities, and lots of questions - many without answers.

We're still dealing with a pandemic, a presidential election that is less than four weeks away, and enough hatred and bitterness on social media to make a person's head swim. While things are changing every day and I want to be kept in the loop and up to date, there are days I want to stick my fingers in my ears like a ten year old and start humming loudly so I don't have to listen to any more.

How is the chaos affecting you? 

Have you been sleeping less? Is your appetite off? Do you find yourself short-tempered for no apparent reason? Do you feel anxious or depressed? Are you battling more headaches than usual? Do you feel like your shoulders are raised up closer to your ears? 

Here's the bigger question ... what have you found helps you to feel some small degree of peace amidst the chaos?

Do you listen to music? I have my car radio tuned in to the KLove station so it's the first thing I hear as I leave my house. Then I listen to it on my computer at work. Some days are too quiet and it makes me feel less alone. Some people relax with yoga or meditation. Many people take a walk. Last weekend I was able to visit my son and his family; my granddaughters make me laugh which always helps. My newest distraction is my boss bringing his puppy to the office. Oh how that little happy fluff ball can make me smile; I've found that puppy therapy has proven to be very beneficial.

I hope you are able to find some peace in these crazy times. Just remember, the weight of the world wasn't meant to be carried alone. We need to make it a point to be there for each other. Forget picking sides and drawing lines in the sand. Ask a friend to go for a walk. Bake some cookies and drop a plate off to your neighbor. Text or call your family just to say hi. We don't have to do it all alone.

Why do we have to choose?

We all have choices we have to make on a daily basis. Often we don't give some of them a second thought; they've become so automatic to us. We choose to be responsible and wear a seatbelt when we're driving, because it is the law and has been proven to save lives. This year has been all about wearing a mask to lessen the spread of Covid (that's a whole other issue). Some may choose not to drink or smoke; others will. Just because something doesn't feel right for you doesn't mean that you get to judge when someone else chooses differently, unless their choices directly affect you. Sometimes we make choices for the good of ourselves and for others. Sometimes though it may feel like we make a lot of our choices solely for the sake of those around us. It may be out of a sense of responsibility, because our heart tells us that doing something specific is the right thing to do. Maybe we'll be setting a good example by something we do. It isn't always about us, but rather how others will perceive us. Sometimes we may be made to feel guilty if we make a certain choice, perhaps even allowing ourselves to be manipulated by other people.

Some choices are smaller (or at least a little easier); what will I fix for dinner (although that one is proving to be a bit more difficult lately), will I take a walk today, will I need to wear a jacket tomorrow, or will I reach out to someone that has been on my mind?

Other choices wear a little heavier on our minds (and our hearts). Those choices and decisions that keep your mind on alert and keep you from sleeping at night. The kinds of choices that we know that no matter which route we choose someone will be affected. It can be tough sometimes ... you think about a big decision and you weigh the pros and cons. You make your list and you analyze it to the point that you feel like you're right back where you started with no clear answers coming to mind. You may feel like if you choose one path you'll feel better, but then you let you talk yourself out of it. You may worry more about how your choices will affect those around you, rather than what's best for you. Does it have to be an 'either/or' situation? Why should you put the weight on yourself to choose what is best for everyone else? Why do we always have to choose? When is it okay to put yourself first?

Oh how I wish I had the answers and always knew the right path to take. I'm sure if we're being totally honest we all doubt some of our choices and decisions. None of us have a crystal ball or a guarantee that comes with the little paper fortune in our fortune cookie. I can clean out and switch my purses and surely find a little scrap of paper tucked carefully away with the epiphany of life's perfect answers typed in black and white. Our answers to life's biggest hurdles aren't always as clear; although it would make things a lot easier if they were, lol.

What choices are you battling with lately?

Find those support people you need who won't stand in judgment, but who will let you vent and pour out your heart when you need it. Keeping the stress and strain all to yourself will undoubtedly become too heavy at some point. But don't expect others to give you the answers you're seeking; ultimately those will need to come from you. Hang in there. No one ever told us life would be easy, but you're stronger than you know and you will get through this and whatever hurdles you're currently sizing up.

When 'Feeling Tired' Doesn't Even Begin To Describe What You're Feeling

I haven't blogged in a few weeks; I just didn't know what else could be said. I try to share insights that are generally encouraging and uplifting (it makes me feel like I'm more a part of a solution than the problem), but life seems to feel more and more like Groundhog's Day every day. The routine has become the same (and often mundane). The warnings to wear a mask, use hand sanitizer, and socially distance six feet are the same. In Michigan we're still in the same phase of the Stay Safe plan. It's still pretty much impossible to find Lysol or Clorox wipes on the store shelves. The political ads are ramping up in full force. The name calling and lines drawn in the proverbial sand are becoming very apparent. And people are still overwhelmed, confused and tired.

Five months ago people were worried about staying home and staying safe and not catching Covid-19. Now people are still worried, but their worries are evolving. Now people are worried about the flu season overlapping with Covid still out there. People are worried about their jobs and either continuing to work from home or having to go back to their offices. Parents are worried about their children starting the new school year virtually as much as others are worried about sending their kids back to school. They are worried about the potential child care they might need. Teachers are worried about trying to be all things to all people. Basically a lot of people have a whole new set of worries.

Do you mail in your absentee ballot and hope it gets turned in and counted in November or do you brave it and plan to vote in person for the election? Do you eat inside a restaurant or continue with carry outs (it's okay to admit that some nights you just don't feel like cooking)? Do you feel angry when you wear your mask to go in a Home Depot or drugstore and walk past people who appear to be completely healthy and don't wear one? Do you feel cheated? There are enough unanswered questions these days to make anyone's head swim. We're used to controlling what we can, making our To Do lists, and planning for our own futures. But truth be told, some days you just get tired of it all; the hoops you're jumping through, the doubt you feel with your decisions, and the guilt you put on yourself if you try to take a momentary break from it all.

What is the answer? Gosh, how I wish I knew. I am trying so hard to hold on to any sense of balance.

What has been your biggest concern or worry lately?

How have you been able to make time for yourself?

Whose voice do you listen to?

Sometimes when we're making a decision or a choice about something we like to seek input from other people. We may want to ask for advice or a recommendation. It might help us to decide what we want to do. Then there are times when people offer you their two cents worth without you even asking for it. Social media has been great for that these past few months. Don't bother reading comments on an Internet article, because people love to troll there. They like to hide behind their computer screens and play judge and jury to people they've never even met before. I expect to see the negative judgmental comments, so I am really not surprised anymore when I do. Sorry to say, but I find that incredibly sad and disappointing. 

There are so many things in our world today that we have little to no control over, but the one thing we can control and choose to make positive is our attitude and character. We can choose to be supportive and giving. We can choose to be a good listener. People don't always want you to give them the answer, sometimes they just want someone to listen. They want to know that their voice matters and can be heard. In a chaotic time like today where practically anything goes, why would you want to be part of the problem when you have the ability to be better?

I saw a photo online the other day on a Facebook page of a group of people gathered together and smiling. Some people responded back with, 'You look like you're having a great time' and 'You must be sisters, you all look so much alike.' Then there was the one (there's always at least one) who responded with a mask judgment, 'Where are your masks? Don't you care about anyone other than yourself?' What they didn't bother to ask or know was that they were a family (from the same household) who took their masks off at the table to take a picture. But when people look for a way to post negativity they usually don't take the time to know the whole story. Why bother? They clearly have their own agenda. They usually just want to stir the pot or add fuel to a non-existent fire.

When you need to make a choice whose voice do you listen to for advice? Hopefully not the ones that are unsolicited and mean-spirited. Listen to the voices of the people you trust or have something positive to contribute. In the end the only voice you really need to listen to is your own. Your voice matters and has a lot to share, especially when it's coming from a good place and worthy of others feeling blessed by it.

You've got this!

Have you ever felt attacked with someone's unsolicited words?

What do you miss most this summer?

So far 2020 has been unlike any other year I remember in my lifetime. Covid-19 has turned the world upside down causing physical upheaval, emotional stresses, and economic uncertainties. As I was sitting at my desk last week I realized we are now in our 18th week of 'officially' dealing with this pandemic. People where I live have either stayed home, worked from home, been laid off of their job, temporarily home-schooled their kids, worn face masks to go out, stocked up on Lysol spray or Clorox disinfectant wipes, cleaned their groceries before putting them away, gone back to work (but in a different way), taken up after dinner walks or bike riding, viewed their weekly church services through live streams on Sundays, or learned to master Zoom or Facebook video chats. When all of this became real for me was in mid-March. Eighteen weeks ago none of us thought we would still be dealing with all of this now. Scary and uncertain times, for sure.

We've sped right through spring and are now half way through our summer. I heard one person say they were ready to put out the pumpkins, hand out some Halloween candy, start putting the Christmas lights up, and fix a full turkey dinner this weekend ... just so we could speed through the rest of 2020 and be done with it. I think many of us are ready to start fresh.

It's mid-July and truth be told some people are frustrated that they've had to cancel vacation plans that they had been thinking about since last year. Getaways, day trips, family reunions, and seeing extended family members are often put off until the summer when the kids are out of school and the weather is good for traveling. I asked my readers on my Facebook page what they missed most this summer. Their answers ranged from 'going to people's houses and hanging out', 'missing things that were not at their house', 'cancelled trips', 'festivals', to 'feeling uncertain about decisions to venture anywhere ... constantly second guessing what to do and how to do it'. 

Yes, this pandemic has taken its toll on many of us in different ways; some physically, emotionally, spiritually, or financially. People need human interaction. People crave fresh air and the warmth of the sun on their skin. People yearn for conversation. Sure, some people do fine being cooped up and being away from other people, but not everyone. I've lived in my house for 20+ years and have seen more people walking dogs past my house in the last 4 months than in the first 20 years combined. 

We, as a society, have found that we need to be flexible with how we do things right now, but more importantly we've found that we need to be creative with our time. I've had friends that have cancelled their trips to Europe that had been planned for the last year. I've seen people buy bicycles and backyard pools or new BBQs. We are strong and don't give up easily. If I need to wear a mask right now when I leave my house, so be it ... at least I am getting out and going somewhere or doing something. I will admit, I have better days and I have worse days. It's been 5 months since I have physically seen or hugged my granddaughters. That's been the hardest thing for me.

Our lives have many seasons; besides just the four that are reflected on our fridge calendars. We will deal with loss, with sickness, with a broken heart, a financial stress, gain unwanted weight, and a job search. BUT we'll also deal with seasons of strength, of hope, of dreams, and of longing. We'll get through this summer, just like we did our spring. Our summer may look different than those in the past, but perhaps next summer we'll look back at all the family time we had, the exercise we got, the number of closets we organized, and in my case the number of adult paint by number canvases I either bought or completed, lol.

Hang in there and make the most of it!

I Can Still See The Light

Sometimes (as of late) the days and weeks have become dark with stresses, fears, and concerns. People always tell you to 'hang in there'; that you'll find the light at the end of the tunnel. But often people have a difficult time finding the light or at least staying focused on it.

The last few months have had a lot darkness and uncertainties in them. Having our Stay Home Stay Safe orders start to loosen up came at a good time. People needed some light. People needed to be reminded of their happiness and joy. We can only take so much doom and gloom, before we start to feel like we're being pulled in.

On Mondays I participate in a Zoom meeting called 'Motivation Monday'. I've come to rely on this group to listen to people I know and people I am getting to know; to hear their input and help lift each other up by sharing their insights, their goals and their hopes. But this past Monday was the first session that I missed. I had a day off and decided to drive to see my daughter and her girlfriend about an hour away. It was a gloriously beautiful day with sunshine and blue skies and temperatures hovering around 75 degrees. Perfect weather for a little gardening. I showed up with my outside shoes, a change of clothes, and my bucket of gardening tools ... prepared for a little sweat. We came up with a

plan and dug in, literally. We dug out an overgrown ugly shrub and replaced it with a thriving Hydrangea bush. We planted Lavender and Sage, as well as some colorful annual flowers. I planted a sunny yellow Zinnia in a bright blue pot for the front porch. I pulled some weeds and got things watered. Then proceeded to the back yard. I dug up an overgrown perennial, thinned out a few others, and planted a beautiful lavender colored Delphinium. Added some multi colored annuals and rearranged a few plants. The finishing touch? I hung a wind chime from the tree in the corner.

After months of feeling cooped up, it felt good to do something physical. It felt good to see instant results. It felt good to make someone else feel happy and excited about the work. It felt good to see the beauty around me. It's okay to acknowledge the pain or stress or anxiety in our lives .... but it's also good to take the time to soak in our own happiness and joy.

I felt like my stars had aligned ... I had the day off of work (my first vacation day for 2020), the weather was nice, an opportunity presented itself, my efforts were well received, I got to do something that makes me happy and helps me relax, I could see the efforts of my work, and I DIDN'T HAVE TO WEAR A MASK. All in all it was a glorious day.

The ironic part? The next morning I listened to the YouTube version of the Zoom meeting I had chosen to miss. It was about happiness and joy. It was about the value and importance of taking the time for yourself to do something you enjoy. It was about the value of the endorphins your body creates. It was about making yourself happy and cheering someone else up.

Guess I was more on track that I realized. Sometimes the track feels endless and often it's hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel, but for me I feel I CAN STILL SEE THE LIGHT. And that gives me hope to hang on to.

What makes you happy?

Do you remember to take some time for yourself?

What should I say?

It's been an unusual last 12 weeks. We've been dealing with the Covid-19 pandemic. We've dealt with 'Stay Home Stay Safe' orders and proper social distancing. We're dealing with major tensions in our culture. It's been a lot to deal with and think about for a lot of people. There are different opinions to just about EVERYTHING these days. Don't believe me? Check out social media (if you have the stomach for it). I've read comments full of accusations and hatred from strangers directed to other strangers, but I've also read sad comments from people directed to people they know.

Right now I've been focusing on the last 12 weeks, but MANY have been dealing with insurmountable stresses and tensions for a lot longer; declining health, financial burdens, relationship issues, racism, and so much more.

Life has become overwhelming for so many. Many of us want to help. Many of us want to understand both sides of an issue. Many of us have good intentions and want to do something positive to help. Many of us want to say the 'right' thing. So what should we do?  What should we say? I think before we speak or do anything, we need to first learn to listen.

We should never judge what we don't understand, that only makes us part of the problem rather than part of a solution. If we don't understand something, then we need to ask questions, BUT we also need to be prepared to listen. Whether we will fully agree with someone else or not isn't the point. The point is that we need to base our own views on facts, not predetermined stereotypes and ignorance.

Do I pretend to have the answers to life's big questions? Absolutely not. Sure, I have my own opinions on different things, but I generally (for the most part) keep them to myself and my inner circle rather than trying to win people over to my side just to make my side louder or bigger.

The next time you're facing something big and unpleasant (which could be on any given day), take a step back. Ask questions and try to view life or the situation from another perspective. It doesn't mean I expect you to change your opinion; you may or you may not. What I hope for is that we can all come to a consensus that we need to listen more before we react. Once we throw words out there, we can't get them back. We can all learn from our mistakes, myself included. None of us are perfect. We can ALL do better.

Have you had moments when you've reacted too fast and said something you later wanted to take back?

Were you able to remedy the situation and move forward in a more positive way?

What's Behind The Mask?

We are in our 9th week of our Covid-19 'Stay Home Stay Safe' order here in Michigan. I never thought I would be actually be typing those words. We've stayed home, we've only gone out for 'essential' things, some have worked from home, some have only gone to work and then gone straight back home, some have been homeschooling their kids, some are graduating high school and college, some are feeling anxious, and some are tired of answering the never ending 'What's for dinner?' question.

As we continue forward we are all experiencing this time of worry and restrictions in different ways; with no one person's journey being any less important than anyone else's. Many are experiencing new levels of anxiety and loneliness. Some are handling things better than others and appear calm on the outside, but we don't really know what's underneath.

It's like when we wear our masks when we are out in public. They all appear different on the surface; there are the blue medical masks, there are the colorful home-sewn versions, the bandana scarves, and the 'turtle-up' versions where people forgot their mask at home so they hunch their shoulders and pull their shirt collar up over their nose and mouth.

The next time you have to be out and see someone wearing a mask, don't just look at the mask ... look beyond what you first see and look at the person's eyes and maybe even the worry lines on their forehead. Those will tell you a lot more. Behind the masks you may find varying levels of worry, fear, anxiousness, and confusion. You might also find love, empathy, the want to help, or a friendly smile. (Full disclaimer ... I am NOT suggesting you actually pull off anyone's mask! Sad that I have to mention that.)  Be prepared and aware enough to see what is right in front of you, but also what may be behind the mask.

How have you been handling the stay-at-home orders?

Are you only sharing with people what you want them to see? Perhaps telling them what they want to hear when they ask how you are doing?

Have you been hiding your emotions?

Say 'Thank You'

Everyone is asking these days, 'How are you doing?' Stay Home Stay Safe for us in Michigan during this Covid-19 pandemic still means staying home for the most part, wearing a mask when you're out, and being very strategic when you need to go shopping ... which means not much is new so when people ask, you simply reply with, 'About the same. Not much is new.'

So what can you say (when you actually see people)? Here's a thought ... you can say THANK YOU.

You can say THANK YOU to the person who called or texted or sent you a card in the mail last week just to check in on you.

You can say THANK YOU to the person who encourages you; your spouse, your children, or your pastor who is live streaming his message online on Sunday mornings.

You can say THANK YOU to the many people working the front lines; whether that be those who work in the hospitals, the firefighters and EMTs, the police officers, the grocery clerks, or the teenagers running the curbside pick-up at the local restaurants.

Or you can say THANK YOU to whoever made you feel a little less invisible and alone this past week.

It's always easy to be so busy you don't notice the things (or the people) right in front of you, but at times like these when we are forced to slow down ... this is when we should take notice. This is when we should be reminded that what goes around comes around. When you notice someone lifting you up, you thank them, and then you think about how you can PAY IT FORWARD.

What did someone do for you recently that you want to thank them for it?

How did it make you feel?

It's A New Day

Remember the Bill Murray movie called 'Groundhog's Day'? He played a reporter who woke up every day to the same day ... the day that just kept repeating itself. For many of us, that's what it feels like lately. We've been staying home and staying safe now for more than 4 weeks. The routine is becoming very familiar; as is the daily dinner menu, the layout of the furniture, and the clothing we are wearing. About the only thing that is changing is the length and color of our hair (since the hair salons are all closed).

There have been moments when I've been glued to my social media to make sure my friends and family are doing well. Sadly there have also been moments when I am saddened and disgusted with the things people post (people I know and people I don't know). I get it. People are anxious. They are feeling antsy. In a world where we are blessed to make so many of our own decisions and choose our opportunities, many people feel 'stuck' suddenly being told what to do, where to go, what to buy and not buy, what's considered essential, that they cannot work, etc. I think, for the most part, people understand the severity of the Covid-19 situation and understand that flattening the curve is really about the only recourse we have right now. It's important that we each do our part to the best of our ability. But criticizing each other, critiquing people you'll never meet in person, and judging others doesn't help anyone's situation. Hiding behind your computer screen and typing in all CAPS and emojis, behind your locked doors doesn't make you smarter than the other guy ... it only makes you a bigger online bully (in my opinion).

Let's all take a much-needed step back and take a deep breath. Many people are now lucky enough to be working from home, but maybe they are stressing out about the self-discipline that takes (not to  mention if their spouse is now working from home too). Then there are people who are not working, but are having a very difficult time working through the government's computer systems to file for unemployment, etc. Maybe through no fault of their own they're getting rejected in the systems and trying to navigate the unwanted and unasked for scenarios. Then there's the fears and anxieties that the pandemic itself throws at us. We are all human and all deal with stresses and anxieties (and for many ... depression) differently. But let's remember to not add any unnecessary fuel to the fires. 

We WILL get through all of this and hopefully come out stronger in the end, both mentally and physically. But we need each other to lean on. We'll all have our stronger moments and our weaker ones, so let's be thankful for the support systems we have. Remember to reach out and send that extra text or email, or better yet make a phone call. Check in on each other. Not everyone has the same support system you do.

Yesterday may have been rough, but today? It's a new day and we can pray that it will be a better one.

How are you doing?

How are you coping?

Creating A Distraction For Yourself

It's hard to know what to write about when the world seems off kilter right now. Daily press briefings from the Covid-19 Task Force, press briefings from the state governor, schools closing down for the remainder of the current school year, how do people apply for temporary unemployment, etc. Questions ... everyone has questions. How long will people be working from home (assuming you're able to)? How do you get a Covid-19 test if you think you are symptomatic? Will the grocery store have what you need when you venture out of your home to go?

A lot of these questions don't have answers right now. So what do you do to keep your mind (and your body) busy while you are 'staying home to stay safe'?

I've been seeing A LOT of social media ideas ...

• post a picture of a landscape without you in it
• post a picture of a beach
• post a picture of your dog
• post a photo of you and your oldest child to see if you look alike
• play the 'I spy camera roll' game
• post the 8th photo from your phone gallery

The list is endless, with new ones popping up every day. Once we get past all of this (and we will!), we'll know more about each other than we ever thought possible. When we get past all of this (and we will!), let's post a photo of our clean cupboards or the new hat we're wearing to cover up our long overdue haircuts, lol. Things are serious enough, so I am purposely trying to keep it lighter here.

If you're looking for a hands-on project, try checking out Rainbows Over Michigan on Facebook and look through all the colorful and creative projects people have done with their kids. They ARE amazing! Decorate your window, your front door, or even your sidewalk!

What helps you relax and keep your mind busy these days? 

Hobbies? 

Taking a walk? 

Cleaning up the yard?

Are you feeling isolated?

Most people here in Michigan are heading into at least their second week of social distancing and staying at home. The kids and college students may be home from school and some people may have the luxury of working remotely, but that isn't the case for everyone. There are many people who are still required to venture out to work; health care workers, firefighters, EMTs, police officers, those who work at grocery stores, gas stations, etc. Regardless of where you find yourself right now, HOW ARE YOU FEELING? Are you feeling anxious? Bored? Frustrated? Isolated?

Whatever you are feeling is normal and you are most definitely not alone. What can you do to try and keep some sense of normalcy in an otherwise unsure time? (Disclaimer: these suggestions aren't medically proven, just my opinion for it's worth.)

• Stay busy. Be productive at home, but also be purposeful about carving out some personal time for yourself.

• Don't watch the news for a few hours before you go to bed. You can't allow yourself to get caught up in information overload. Whatever is shared on the news at 10:00 p.m. will surely be repeated at 8:00 a.m. the next morning. You need your sleep.

• Not used to working at home or sharing a space with someone? Be sure to take breaks or work in shifts. Create a fictitious co-worker that you can blame the messy desk on, lol.

• I know a lot of people would argue with me about this one, but try and stick to a routine. Make your bed and get dressed! I've seen all the memes on social media about changing out of your daytime pjs into your nighttime pjs, lol. Don't get sucked in to the 'I don't care who sees me' mentality ... just walk into your bathroom and look in the mirror. Is that who you really want to look at?

• Get outside and get some fresh air. Walk to your mailbox. Clean any wind-blown debris up from your yard. Take a walk and stay 6 feet away from other people, but still wave at your neighbors and your mail carrier.

The truth of the matter is that we don't how long this Covid-19 part of our lives will go on for. We can probably safely assume though that things will get worse before they get better. That's being said we all need to remember to be patient, to be kind, to call or email or text our friends and family to check in with them routinely, and be creative when we need to be (with our meals, with our activities, etc.)

How are you feeling?

How are you passing your time?

It Won't Always Be This Way

Unless you've been living under a rock lately you've got to realize the world is going through some crazy and unsettling times right now. The Coronavirus has mostly everyone on edge to one degree or another. Some people are nervous about self-quarantines, anxious about having their kids out of school, the potential for many working remotely from home, people being temporarily without work, people being exposed to the virus or potentially exposing someone else ... the list is endless.

In the end, we need to know the ONLY real things we can control are our own hygiene and our attitudes. How we choose to handle things says a lot about us. It's true that our actions speak louder than our words. Whether you are taking the pandemic super seriously or think 'things are blown out of proportion' is your choice. I am certainly not here to tell you how to think or how to act. Your conscience is your own, but try to think about not just how your choices and actions affect you but also how they may be affecting those around you.

What things can we do during this time? We can continue to communicate ... with our families, with our church communities, with our friends, and with our neighbors. We need, now more than ever, to stay connected. We may not be able to physically check in on some people, but we can pick up the phone and send a text or actually call someone and see how they are doing. People still need contact with other people. We can pray for each other and we can take the time to listen.

It won't always be this way. Things may get worse before they better, but things are temporary and we'll see what we're made of. In the meantime, think of things to do to stay busy at home. We all tend to say how busy we are, we have To Do lists and schedules, and we have responsibilities. I know I generally have a hard time making any kind of real time for myself. In the midst of all this uncertainty I am extra thankful today for 2 special things; things I usually would not take the time for. I got a book (a large one at that) from the library a week ago. Sadly, I usually find myself renewing it after my 3-week deadline because I didn't make time to finish it. Today I got an email from my local library that they will be temporarily closed and are extending ALL due dates by 3 weeks. It may sound silly to some people (those of you who can read a book in a day), but to me it was a huge sign of graciousness saying 'You're going to have the time to actually finish this book now. Take your time and enjoy it.' The second thing is a few weeks ago I purchased an adult paint-by-number canvas. Yesterday I set up my 'studio space' in my basement and painted for 2 straight hours. It was therapeutic to say the least. I think I'll say this piece of art work is from my 'leveling the curve' period.

In the days ahead ... stay calm, stay busy, stay focused, and keep the faith.

What will you be doing to keep busy?

Should you or shouldn't you?

How often do you make a decision to do or not do something and make the mistake of telling someone about it beforehand? Okay, now how often do you change your mind and then feel obligated to stick to your first decision because if you don't you think people will judge you? Will they think you don't have the stamina or will power to stick to a decision? Will they think you are wishy-washy? Will they think you don't know how to make up your mind? Will they say, 'Oh I've heard that before?' 

Sometimes the truth of the matter is that in order to make the right decision about something we need to weigh out all of our options; weighing the pros and cons. One day we may think one side outweighs the other more, but just like the weather our opinions can change just as fast. Often we need to talk about it with others and get their opinion to truly know where we stand. But as with any other conversation if we aren't 100% sure where we stand on something we can be easily swayed one way or the other based on the input we receive.

I recently made some decisions, not big 'change the world' ones, but important ones all the same. They involved things I was doing and how much of my time I was putting into them. I was thinking of things I could cut back on to give myself more time for other things I want to do. I stepped back from one project and felt at peace with the decision. Another project presented itself and I nearly stepped back from it as well, but after deeper thought realized I would be giving up more than I wanted and it was worth the time I was putting in to it. But in the process I talked through it with a few people. When I changed my course of action I felt guilty to some extent like I had to go with my original plan since I had been semi-committed to it. But then I thought about it and figured, 'Oh well'. If I was making a wrong decision it was MY decision to make and MY time that would be at stake ... and I could live with that. If anyone thought less of me for it, I was okay with that too.

Sometimes when we are in conversation with people we need to just be a sounding board. We need to give people the flexibility and freedom to change their minds (several times if needed); whatever it takes to be supportive. In the end the decisions people make are theirs and theirs alone. Some decisions are easy to make and others can be very difficult. Let's give our opinion when asked and just listen when needed.

Do you ever have a hard time making certain decisions?

How do you get to a place where you feel comfortable and confident with your decisions?

Do you think everything through by yourself or do you talk it through with a friend or co-worker to get their input?

When In Doubt, Make Your Own

Here we are well into the first week of February and we've only had a day or two of sunshine in the last 30 days. Unless you are a bear that is hibernating, that doesn't work for most of us. We all need certain things in our lives; human contact, conversation, affection, to feel respected and worthy, and for many ... sunshine. We need our Vitamin D. We need to feel the warmth. We need something to look at other than the color gray. We need options, lol.

Something to remember; we don't always have to wait for others to notice us, our talents, or even our needs. Sometimes we have the ability and the power to create our own destiny. We can forge our own path based on our choices. We can earn our own fortunes by working hard and with integrity and a positive spirit. We can create our own good luck, rather than waiting for it to drop at our feet. And with a simple yellow highlighter and a black Sharpie pen we can create our own little ray of sunshine. It may not give us physical warmth, but it will definitely rejuvenate us and lift us mentally. My little mental reminder was provided courtesy of a friend.

What have you done lately for yourself or someone else that lifted spirits and replenished souls?

A Fresh Start

It's a new year; a time for planning, hoping, and maybe a little strategizing. At the end of the year we don't just pack away the holiday decorations to make the room look clear and organized again, we also put up a fresh calendar. We like starting with a clean slate; at least I do. New year ... new hopes ... new ideas ... new plans of attack on how to hopefully accomplish them.

We all have our share of challenges, anxieties, pressures, and responsibilities. Many of us will probably look back at 2019 and think, 'Wow! How did I get through that?' But guess what? If you're reading this, then you did. Don't be so surprised; you're stronger than you give yourself credit for. I know that 2019 was pretty rough for a lot of people; illnesses, finances, relationships ... you name it and I probably know someone who's been dealing with it (or for that fact, still is).

The thing is is that the challenges and the pressures won't always change or go away or even get temporarily resolved, but HOW we choose to deal with them can. We can decide to not let 'it' consume us, whatever IT is. We have the choice to make a change or take a different approach. We get to start fresh if we want to. Every month or every day if necessary.

Who doesn't like the occasional fresh start?

• a new house
• a new job
• an improved body or mindset
• a new haircut
• a new hobby
• a new challenge
• a new goal

Pick the one that speaks to you and choose to start fresh. Start small and test the waters or be bold and jump in with both feet and arms flailing. What have you got to lose? Absolutely nothing.

How am I starting fresh this year? I'm trying to be more diligent with my blogging. I hope somewhere, someday someone reads one of my posts and is impacted and shares it or shares a positive comment. But if they don't that's okay too. I'm blogging for myself and some days that's more than enough. It's my voice, my thoughts, and I can actually hear myself think as I type. That's worth it in itself.

What does your fresh start look like?

Moving Into 2020

Well, I'm back; although it has been a few weeks again. In my last post I pondered over what direction my 2020 would take. I decided, after much reflection, that more than a resolution or a specific goal I needed to focus on a word that would help keep me on track for the new year. I chose the word BALANCE. Why? Mostly because I am the first to admit that I can easily get overwhelmed or off track or out of sync if I let obligations and responsibilities take over my life. I have a difficult time saying no to anyone when they ask for help; heck sometimes I don't even wait for them to ask for my help - I just offer it up like it has instantly become my sole responsibility to help them, make things easier for them, or help them to stay on track. 

But should I be doing that? If I do, am I helping them or enabling them? By me helping am I giving them the easy way out? Shouldn't they own up to the responsibilities that are solely theirs? It's usually at this point that my life gets out of balance. I become stressed and consumed over things and situations that affect other people more than myself. Why do I do this to myself? That's the million dollar question. I don't think I do it on purpose, but I've grown up my entire life playing the self-imposed role of the mediator, the organizer, the task master, the list maker, the worrier, and the sleep-deprived person. I look at what I think the result should be in the end and I do what I can to help it get there. I don't settle for good enough; that's always been unacceptable to me. I tend to care too much sometimes; but that's on me. Can you see why my word for 2020 is BALANCE? I clearly need more of it in my life.

I need to know that I can help, assist, care for, worry about, and be concerned for other people in my life without letting it become all-consuming. At some point the scales with the ME side of the equation will be out-weighed by the magnitude of everything else. That's unfortunate, but also unhealthy. It's when I can make this clear observation and own it that I hope to be able to learn something beneficial from it.

I want to move into 2020 like there are no set limits. I want to feel unstoppable. I want to feel deserving of my successes. I want to hear the sound of my own voice and know that it matters (not just to me, but to others as well). So how do I go about accomplishing this?

If I need a space where I can clear my head, then I need to make it or at least clean up the one that I have. If I don't have the tools I need to be the kind of success that I want, then I need to get what I need in order to do that. I need to make the effort because I care as much about me and my needs as I do about everyone else's. I need to be my own best advocate and stop being my own worst enemy. I need to convince myself that looking out for what's best for me doesn't have to make me a selfish person. There will always be those voices in your head that say, 'Now isn't a good time.' 'Maybe next year would be better for everyone else.' But that's the thing, there will always be other reasons and more excuses. Maybe it's the fear of failure. Maybe it's the fear of commitment. Maybe it's the fear of insecurity or being judged. There will always be fears that can talk you out of anything. That's when the hopes need to take the forefront and outsize the fears. Listen to the hope in your heart; the hope that tells you that you have what it takes to succeed, that you deserve to be happy, and that you have what it takes to make a bigger difference in the world.

How are you doing so far with choosing your word for 2020?

Are you getting on track with your goals and dreams or do you feel stalled?

Let us know what's going on ... we are all here for you.