Monday, March 2, 2020

Should you or shouldn't you?

How often do you make a decision to do or not do something and make the mistake of telling someone about it beforehand? Okay, now how often do you change your mind and then feel obligated to stick to your first decision because if you don't you think people will judge you? Will they think you don't have the stamina or will power to stick to a decision? Will they think you are wishy-washy? Will they think you don't know how to make up your mind? Will they say, 'Oh I've heard that before?' 

Sometimes the truth of the matter is that in order to make the right decision about something we need to weigh out all of our options; weighing the pros and cons. One day we may think one side outweighs the other more, but just like the weather our opinions can change just as fast. Often we need to talk about it with others and get their opinion to truly know where we stand. But as with any other conversation if we aren't 100% sure where we stand on something we can be easily swayed one way or the other based on the input we receive.

I recently made some decisions, not big 'change the world' ones, but important ones all the same. They involved things I was doing and how much of my time I was putting into them. I was thinking of things I could cut back on to give myself more time for other things I want to do. I stepped back from one project and felt at peace with the decision. Another project presented itself and I nearly stepped back from it as well, but after deeper thought realized I would be giving up more than I wanted and it was worth the time I was putting in to it. But in the process I talked through it with a few people. When I changed my course of action I felt guilty to some extent like I had to go with my original plan since I had been semi-committed to it. But then I thought about it and figured, 'Oh well'. If I was making a wrong decision it was MY decision to make and MY time that would be at stake ... and I could live with that. If anyone thought less of me for it, I was okay with that too.

Sometimes when we are in conversation with people we need to just be a sounding board. We need to give people the flexibility and freedom to change their minds (several times if needed); whatever it takes to be supportive. In the end the decisions people make are theirs and theirs alone. Some decisions are easy to make and others can be very difficult. Let's give our opinion when asked and just listen when needed.

Do you ever have a hard time making certain decisions?
How do you get to a place where you feel comfortable and confident with your decisions?
Do you think everything through by yourself or do you talk it through with a friend or co-worker to get their input?

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