Remembering 2021

This is the time of year when we either recap our year or make resolutions (or some may say 'empty promises') for the upcoming one. For many, either task can be daunting. But looking back at the last 21 months in general has been an overall dud with Covid and the many changes it brought into our lives. If we look hard enough though amidst the chaos there will always be the pearls of goodness mixed in, those are the things we need to focus on.

I can certainly acknowledge the loneliness, sickness, lack of financial security, relationship strains, and uncertainties that came with Covid for many people. There's no denying the by-products brought on by the pandemic. But there has also been goodness. There's been in an increase in quality family time spent together, dinners and conversations together around the table, new found hobbies, clean closets, and probably an increase in the sales of sweats and yoga pants.

What did my 2021 look like? That's a tough one. I witnessed a lot of loss this year for myself and others. I lost a neighbor at my office (the one who brought me tomatoes and flowers from his garden), I lost a dear friend from my small group who always lifted our spirits, I lost a long time co-worker who was a friend and a fill-in father figure, I lost a brother-in-law who always let me sample the turkey first on Thanksgiving and sneak veggies onto his plate, my mother passed a few weeks ago, and most recently a family friend ... two of these were as a result of Covid. Neverless Covid did dictate to us how and when we were allowed to grieve.

Amidst the unexpected sadness that came each time, 2021 was also the year I completed three paintings and started a fourth, completed reading 14 books (a big accomplishment for me), had a healthy flower garden, welcomed a beautiful, healthy grandson into our family, and worked harder than ever to keep my head and my heart in a good place. 

It's been a year of changes and challenges for a lot of people. Will I make any resolutions for 2022; lose that dreaded 10#, travel more, start writing my book? Definitely not! I will, though, try to continue to build on the foundation I have been slowly building for myself; one that includes taking better care of myself, both physically and mentally. After that, who knows. Maybe 2022 will bring an end to Covid, a delayed family reunion, a little more writing, and better sleep. Whatever comes my way will be a blessing and I will embrace the opportunities for what they are.

How about you?

How would you summarize your 2021?

Do you make any resolutions and if so, what will you hope to accomplish in 2022?

How do you deal with life?

It's the beginning of November; I could be blogging about the easy topics like 'should they be playing Christmas music on the radio yet?' or 'is it too soon for Hallmark Christmas movies?'. But that would be too easy. Tomorrow we change our clocks back 1 hour for Daylight Savings Time. The stores are decorating for Christmas sales even though it's not Thanksgiving yet. For some of us our internal clock starts ticking away that we need to start our holiday lists, write out our Christmas cards, and begin planning our social get-togethers.

Somewhere in the midst of all that we also need to deal with our life today; the ups and downs, and dealing with the lingering questions we're seeking answers for. My question for you is 'how do you deal with life'? Do you talk to other people about what's on your mind or do you hold it all in because you don't want to bother anyone? I think I tend to hold things in (with a few exceptions). When you're in a group conversation I sometimes feel like I don't want to change the subject or interrupt. There's always a part of me that wishes someone else would break the ice for me with something like, 'What's new?' Those two simple words can be the door that opens or the easiest way to start a conversation. But know that if you express those two words you need to be prepared to stick around long enough to hear the answer. When you don't and they are just two words that flow as an automatic response, you're not doing anyone any favors. Trust me, it's easy to tell when someone means them versus when someone asks you but they're also already two steps away and have moved on to something or someone else. This is the time to not just talk the talk, but also to walk the walk. You know the old expression that 'actions speak louder than words', right?

Do you feel comfortable reaching out to people when you need a sounding board or just to vent? That can be a tough one. No one wants to appear vulnerable, but we also can't always figure things out on our own. Sometimes a fresh objective view is just what we need.

I'm no expert, but I know what it feels like to have heavy shoulders. It's important to lighten the load when possible. If you don't have that special person (a spouse, a child, a parent, a friend, or a therapist) that you can bounce ideas off of, then you need to find that go-to person - even if it means you have to take the first step. People can be pretty good listeners when they know they are needed, but they also are not mind-readers. Give yourself and them a chance. You may be surprised.

Who has been your biggest supporter and best sounding board?

Something else to keep in mind ... don't expect others to be there for you if you can't make the time to be there for them. Life is a two-way street.

Getting Back To What Makes You Happy

We all recognize the things that stress us out or make us feel uncomfortable or unhappy. But how many of us actually take the time to look at and discover the things that rejuvenate us, inspire us, or make us smile? We are often caught up in doing things for other people and being responsible that we tend to forget about ourselves. That would be me, for sure. By the time you get done dealing with a never-ending pandemic, all of its rules and guidelines that change daily, striving to keep everyone happy at work or home, doing grocery shopping and meal planning, taking care of your children (or your elders); that's when we have an epiphany and realize we're tired, overwhelmed, underwhelmed, or we're plain burned out. Not to worry, these feelings can be temporary.

I did the best I could to deal with my stress and new anxieties this past year, but some days it definitely felt like an uphill battle. I realize I am not the only person who has felt this way, but that doesn't stop you from feeling alone in that moment. Sometimes, my biggest hurdle has been looking for the beauty in the moment, then stopping to give myself permission to embrace it. Thank goodness my boss and his family got a new dog and have allowed me to spend time with him a few hours a week at the office. Can you say unconditional love? That golden retriever has been a true life saver.

I've always been a planner, scheduler, list-maker, and organizer. These traits alone could make anyone tired. Then I plan ahead and book a weekend retreat for a month later so I can be sure I have all my ducks in a row and everyone will be taken care while I'm gone. Only then do I give myself permission to try and focus solely on myself. It's a tough nut to crack, for sure.

Lately my approach has been to try to be spontaneous (ha). (I'm honest enough to not say "try to be more spontaneous" because that would mean I already know how to act in the spur of a moment. That's not my strong suit.) I have begun to realize that there are moments when a good opportunity presents itself and that's when you have to ask yourself, "Can I make this work? I need this." Make that needed effort and try. If it works out for you, that's awesome. If it doesn't, then at least you gave it a shot and will have a better idea of how to make it work the next time.

About a week and a half ago, my daughter mentioned an event she wanted to attend on Mackinac Island (our favorite place for mother-daughter trips). My first thought I am embarrassed to say was jealousy. Hey, I wanted to go, but immediately shot myself down that I couldn't do it. Heck - she hadn't even invited me, it was her idea. So I smiled and said, "That sounds like fun. We've never been there to see the autumn colors." To which she replied, "Do you want to go with me?" My heart fluttered a little and I started compiling the usual list of reasons why I couldn't. I thought about it for a couple of days and thought, "No, I want to do this and I should do this. This is exactly what I have been striving for - to appreciate the moments more." I worked it out and here we are! On this magnificent island, listening to the hooves of the horses and the horns of the ferry boats. Today we walked, we ate, we had some good conversation, we read a little, she went to her event this evening, and tomorrow we will venture home.

I've come to realize that feeling anxious isn't a sign of weakness. Discovering what makes you feel grounded and happy (even for a moment) is a sign of strength and awareness. These are my baby steps to feel more leveled and to take better care of my mind and body.

What steps have YOU taken? 

What have you discovered makes you happy?

Spread A Little Joy

Some days are hectic and you find yourself taking a much needed break with a little social media for a distraction; Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. Then there are days when you hit a lull in your schedule and you turn to social media to pass a few minutes while you're waiting for an appointment. Either way social media can drag you in. Maybe you just cruise the Internet to check the baseball scores or read the latest Covid numbers, it's entirely up to you. Social media though, like anything else in life, has it's pros and cons. There are YouTube videos that can explain anything from installing a light fixture, fixing a leaky kitchen faucet, to opening up a kid's stroller (don't judge me but I looked up this video when my oldest granddaughter was a baby and I was watching her - let's just say the strollers today are WAY different than when my kids were babies). There are also going to be letdowns with social media; bad stock reviews, disheartening headlines, and trolls that post unnecessary comments on just about anything. Suddenly people declare themselves both judge and jury on topics they know absolutely nothing about.

So how do we direct the social media we take in? By learning to make important choices for ourselves. We choose what we want to read or watch. People will always post negative items and simply justify it by saying, 'If you don't like it, don't read it.' True enough, that choice is on us. Sometimes those choices can be difficult though. You may not want to 'unfriend' someone right now because they may need you (or vice versa) someday, but you can choose not to comment and add fuel to their fire. 

Choose to follow the sites that make you healthy, happy, and want to see or hear more. If nothing else, it will help to create a balance for you with the pros and the cons.

I've come across a few Facebook groups that I chose to follow because when I contribute something it will be positive, the posts I read are mostly uplifting or give me productive ideas, and I've had the opportunity to meet people that inspire me. Choose sites that talk about things you like to do or always wanted to do, but lacked the motivation.

Here are a few Facebook groups I follow. They may not be your cup of tea, but there are surely ones out there that will work for you.

• Addicted To Mackinac Island (my absolute favorite place for vacation time)
• My Paint By Numbers Support Group (for those of us who have discovered the joy of adult paint by numbers ... great new hobby)
• Creative Gardening (people sharing pictures of their DIY home gardens; everything from color and plant suggestions to making accent pieces)
• 8:28 Photography (a young lady I had the pleasure of meeting a few years ago for some professional headshots directed her photography business into focusing on newborn and maternity photo sessions. HER WORK IS AMAZING!)

You can follow sites from your favorite author, musician, chef, travel group, or business; not to mention there are ones for horse lovers, cat lovers, dog lovers, etc.

When you have so many positive choices available at your fingertips, try not to dwell on the negative ones. It's just not worth the aggravation.

What are some of the sites you choose to follow that help you center yourself, relax, or feel inspired?

Don't Let Anyone Dismiss You

We all have a lot on our minds these days; our health, Covid, finances, relationships (new and old), growing responsibilities ... you name it. It's obvious that no two people are the same; we look different, we think different, and we have different priorities and opinions. But who is to say that I am right and you are wrong or vice versa? We each have different needs and function in unique ways that suit us. No matter how much some people might like to lump others into categories for their own convenience; young or old, educated or not as much, chic or frumpy, well to do or struggling from week to week ... well, we each know what is playing through our minds at night when we can't sleep.

Whatever you are dealing with, thinking over, weighing the pros and cons for, or even daydreaming about ... learn to own it. Don't let other people define you or sway you away from thinking what you think or feeling what you feel. Learn to own your own bubble, your worries, your stresses, your happiness, your dreams, your sadness, and your doubts. Your emotions and goals and battles are all yours; they aren't there for others to dissect or dismiss.

When someone doesn't want to understand your point of view or even bother to ask yet they still like to categorize parts of life with dismissive comments that make you wonder if what you're feeling is valid, they are truly the ones who are struggling. As they are trying to suggest that other viewpoints are invalid or silly, I think they're just trying to establish support for their own point of view. They may or may not be doing it purposely, they may not even realize how their words and actions are affecting other people. We'd be giving them much more credit than they deserve if we let them think they had that kind of power over us.

Stand tall, remain firm, trust yourself and take on each challenge that comes your way with a renewed sense of positivity. You matter and so do your opinions; we're all entitled to them. We just need to remember that it's fine to share your opinion when someone asks for it. If you're going to try to persuade people to be more like you just because you think you're better, then you're going at it for the wrong reasons.

When's the last time you felt like someone was trying to dismiss you?

How did you handle it?

Feeling Overloaded Lately?

Many people are starting to experience the most recent changes of the Covid-19 pandemic. For the past fifteen months we've had many restrictions here in my home state of Michigan. We've worn masks in public, many of us have gotten the vaccine, and we've had capacity limits wherever we went ... not too mention the various restrictions of work, church, and school environments.

This past week I have been experiencing my most recent change. I've had my vaccine so I've started going into public places without wearing my mask. Yikes! That was a BIG step toward adjusting to life after being mandated for more than year to wear one. I'm probably a little late showing up to the party, so to speak, as others have been dining inside restaurants and going maskless for a while. I was feeling paranoid and waiting for either lightning to strike or someone to yell at me with an accusatory voice judging me for my actions. I had to remind myself that being able to resume some normality in my life was why I made the choice to be vaccinated in the first place and yet here I was still feeling anxious.

In the last four days I have been inside a funeral home once (with people I didn't know), inside two different churches for two different funeral services (with some people I did know), inside a restaurant without wearing a mask (with a large group of people), to an indoor family gathering, and inside a grocery store without a mask.

What did I experience? The good, the bad, and the in between. I saw people's faces I haven't seen in a long time, I hugged family and friends, I laughed a little, I cried a lot, I slept very little, and I experienced what I call socialization overload. I haven't been around that many people for quite a while. At times I felt like I was jumping into the deep end of the pool without a life jacket. Not a good feeling, but just like being in the pool as soon as you get used to the temperature of the water and start to tread with your legs your confidence starts to return,

What have you experienced during the pandemic (or as we're coming out of it) that felt different?

What have you learned about yourself?

Learning To Be Still

Do the noises in your head ever get so loud that you can no longer hear yourself think? Not to worry, I'm not losing it, but there are nights when my brain seems like it's on overload. We tend to replay the events of our day in our mind. We re-listen to a conversation over and over, word by word. We wonder about what we could have done differently or better. We plan ahead. We make mental lists. Don't even get me started about the nights when insomnia has settled in and lets you know that it's not going anywhere and you won't be getting any sleep any time soon.

What do you do? Do you get up and take a walk around the house in the dark hoping to reset? Do you wander into the other room and read on the couch or turn the TV on for a distraction? Maybe get a drink of water?

For me, this happens more often at night, but there are also days when my head is spinning from storing up too much information at one time. I find that I need to search for the quiet and learn to be still. Sometimes it's the only way to clear my head. Where I work we have a memorial garden behind the church building. It's a great place to sit on a bench and watch the squirrels run around and listen to the many birds chirp their afternoon songs. It can be just the distraction I need. I need to seek out the quiet. It's only then that I'll be able to take a deep breath and listen to myself breathe. I need to learn to be still more often and try to block out the noise and the distractions. I know my heart and my gut will guide me and I trust those instincts (well most of the time anyway), but I also know that I need to be able hear my own internal voice.

If you're feeling a little overwhelmed (and who isn't at some point?) then make some purposeful time for yourself. Be selfish. Take a walk. Go for a ride in the car. Sit outside and just close your eyes and feel the warmth of the sun on your face. Give yourself permission to take a time out. You'll find the right time or place where you can find your stillness and then you'll be able to hear what's most important.

Where do you find your inner peace?

Is it a place or something you do?

Are People Losing Interest?

It's been more than a year since everyone's lives changed dramatically due to the Covid pandemic. Our schedules and daily routines changed, where we work from changed for some (now the make-shift home office or dining room table), what we wear while we work changed (forget the khakis - it's all about jeans and leggings and t-shirts), our eating habits changed (with the occasional treat of picking up a carry out), and some of us saw some different numbers appearing on our bathroom scale. 

We've learned to adapt and adjust when necessary. We had to temporarily quit doing some of the things we always liked to do; social gatherings, going to church in-person, birthday parties, etc. Some things are starting to return to our routines, but slowly and in ways that seem a little different. Restaurants can offer indoor dining, but with a 50% capacity. We still wear face masks where required. We've started going back to church with socially distanced pews, but we miss sharing the peace and giving hugs ... but we'll get there.

As things have changed we have to wonder how much WE have changed in the process. I've heard it said that once you do something OR not do something for three weeks it becomes a habit. It makes you wonder if people will get too used to their new routines and the dos and don'ts that were thrust upon them. Will they lose interest in the things and people that once meant so much to them? Will previous extroverts now become introverts because it's easier? Or will we understand that the changes were merely choices we were forced to make and be willing to go back to our previous 'normal'?

Right or wrong, I have now had both doses of my Covid vaccine and waited out my two week post-shot period. I'm sure that the first time I meet up with other friends who are also vaccinated without a mask will seem a little apprehensive and risky; kind of like taking the leap into the deep waters of the pool. We'll just have to hold our breath and do it to get past it.

I have faith that with time we will get past it and remember our former selves. It's the only choice I have because I refuse to adapt to a 'new normal' with no timeline. I want more than that for all of us. We deserve more than that. I will continue to make the best choices I can for myself and my family and hope that it will be enough.

What is the biggest thing you've missed during the pandemic?

Have you resumed doing anything specific and how was it for you?

Don't Pretend To Be An Expert

Some days our world seems a little crazier than other days. I wish I knew the answer to the big WHY questions. Why is the pandemic still going? Why aren't things back to normal? Why are some companies having a hard time hiring employees? Why don't some people want to work? Covid has become the convenient excuse when we don't have a good answer. Why are gas prices going up? ... must be because of Covid. Why are we encouraged to still wear masks in public? ... must be because of Covid. Why does it take longer these days to build a new house? ... must be because of Covid.

We are constantly dealing with unknowns, lots of questions, and often misdirection ... from the media, from our leaders, and even the people we know. We can ask Siri anything we want to know anytime we want to know it. We have technology at our fingertips, which for some reason seems to make us think we're suddenly experts on everything. Either that or many people have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express and feel a lot smarter (at least that's what the commercials suggest).

Information is a good thing when we use it in proper context and do our research, but when we only tap the surface and then run with the information we can become an unnecessary roadblock. A lot of people have become too quick to offer their advice and sometimes to total strangers who never asked for their input. Opinion is one thing, but offering up self-defined lines of what is right and what is wrong is something else entirely.

Just a suggestion; research the Internet all you want and begin building your information foundation, but before you begin offering up free advice to other people imagine walking in someone else's shoes for a moment and then decide if your 'advice' will be welcomed and well received or not. If it's the latter, then it might be best to keep your 411 on the downlow for a while.

The Hope Of Spring

We've had primarily great weather over the last week. We've had days filled with blue skies and sunshine, afternoons with a slight breeze, and thanks to the time change evenings with extended daylight offering up opportunities for a walk after dinner. Of course, it's still Michigan weather so with this time of year anything goes. The temperatures could change 25 degrees during a 24-hour period. Nonetheless now that we are officially entering the spring season, I find myself hopeful.

The winter was a long one, perhaps due to the pandemic and limited visits with friends and family. Outdoor dining and driveway visits just weren't happening unless you waved at a neighbor while shoveling snow off of the sidewalk.

Spring brings Lent, renewed hope, and an array of opportunities. I find my spirits lifted when I get to leave my desk in the late afternoon and take a walk around the parking lot. Working in a church has been extremely lonely these past twelve months with having the majority of our ministries and services being held virtually. Technology is great when it works, but there's nothing like actually seeing people in person. We aren't quite to the hugging stage, but we will get there. We miss social interaction. We miss human contact. We miss verbal communication in person.

In the autumn we have cider mills, pumpkin patches, Thanksgiving and Christmas to look forward to (even though this past season was limited). But once we get into January and February in Michigan the days can seem darker; it's dark when I leave for work and dark when I return home and pull my car into the garage. Yet, we are resilient and we've learned to get through it. Now spring is here and there is a renewed sense of hope; more daylight, slightly warmer temperatures, and outdoor walks again.

If you're still feeling dragged down (physically or emotionally) from the winter, know that you are definitely not alone. Walk with me and take some baby steps that will help you re-engage. Do a little spring cleaning. Make some plans for the summer; plan a getaway that you feel comfortable with, think of some ideas and ways to spruce up your landscaping, or simply take a walk and look for inspiration. Last week I found myself walking through a local garden center just to see the patio set ups and the colorful flower pots.

I know many of us have gotten used to being more isolated during this pandemic. I know that I will have to ease myself slowly back into indoor dining (it's been more than a year since I've eaten inside of a restaurant). It's all about baby steps. Every day that the weather is nice, push yourself to go outside even if you have no particular place to go. Go for a walk or a drive with the windows rolled down.

Life will improve from the way that it's been. So get out there and enjoy the spring weather and be reminded of the hope of the season.

What are you getting back to that you've missed?

Don't Let IT Win

One year ago we were presented with an unheard of Covid pandemic, lots of new restrictions and requirements, and an immediate lock down. Kids started virtual learning at home rather than going to school, many parents started working their jobs remotely, and the store shelves were mostly void of Lysol wipes and toilet paper. We were told not to leave our homes or see our families, but if we did have to leave to go to the grocery store we were to remain six feet apart and wear masks at all times while in public.

Last March we were told it would last three weeks and people were skeptical about whether or not they could even manage to wear a mask that long. People whined and complained and finger pointed and shared strong opinions on social media (after all, what else can you do from home after you've organized your closets and cleaned your basement, lol). Wow, a whole year has gone by and wearing masks outside of your home has become the new norm. Twelve long months can certainly help you gain some perspective.

Now as three vaccines are slowly becoming available and some people have been fortunate enough to get their shots in the arm, the hope of society gaining some herd immunity is a light in our tunnel. 

There's a saying that suggests if you do something for three weeks it has the ability to become a habit (good or bad). Most people continue to wear their masks in public to reduce the spreading of the virus, something many didn't think they'd be able to stick with a year ago. But there are other aspects of the pandemic to look at as well. We've stayed home, we've stayed out of restaurants and public places, many have been forced to stay out of church (in-person). The truth is that the longer you stay away from something the harder it is for some to go back. There's a sense of excitement for some that things will automatically be like they used to be once they walk back through the doors of their church or office or movie theatre. But for other people they've become so used to being isolated that the idea of being back around people again has become immobilizing. They're nervous and rightfully so. The reality is that the longer we wait to call someone or go somewhere or do something we used to do, the easier it will be for our minds to tell us that we've done fine without it and just don't need it in the same way as we used to.

Please don't let IT win. By IT, I mean the worry, the self-doubt, and the fear. Whatever you have been yearning to get back to, make plans to do it. It's perfectly okay to take baby steps and reacclimate in a way that makes you most comfortable. We didn't ask for the pandemic or the lockdowns or the lack of socializing or conversations with friends and family. We didn't ask for extroverts to be guilted into becoming introverts by forcing them to isolate themselves. This process has taken way longer than three weeks, so it's natural for it to take longer to get back to where we want it to be.

For those who miss seeing their grandkids more regularly or their friends or co-workers in person (anything other than Zoom calls and video chats), know that it will come. Now you need to start preparing yourself for when it does. Don't let your fear and worry dictate to you that it's better for you to give up and close yourself off. Don't let IT win.

How are you faring these days?

What things are you most looking forward to getting back to?

What have you found you've done fine with giving up?

Starting Fresh

February 2021 is turning out to be a snowy month here in the mitten, but also across the U.S. including the southern states. The last year has been full of Covid stress, political chaos, surprises (some good, some not), and many changes. With change all we can do is adapt the best we can. It doesn't mean we have to like all of the changes, but we have to learn to live with them. In the last twelve months I have gone to work every day to a primarily lonely empty building. My family has seen very few people outside of our bubble. My sleep patterns have progressively gotten worse, my hairline has thinned out, I've lost a little weight (not necessarily a bad thing)  ... but on the bright side I've saved money and been thrifty, I've read a few books, and I've accomplished some pretty detailed PBN paintings. Like I said there is the good and the bad. The important thing is to find a balance you can handle.

So what does any of this have to do with there being snow outside? Perhaps nothing, but as I drove down the street this morning I was in awe with the fresh couple of inches of snow we got last night. It's sparkling and amazing! The snow was layered delicately on the bushes and tree branches. It gave me a fresh outlook on my day. It covered the grey and doom and gloom I've been feeling and gave me a sense of hope and a new day with a new start. I know it will melt and the dirty slush will appear again soon, but for right now I am enjoying the moment. 

Wherever you are today (geographically, mentally, or spiritually) ... embrace it for what it is. Make a choice to either let it run your life for you or decide what you can do to make it what you want. Many people feel isolated and out of touch right now, but take a chance and reach out to someone (a family member, a friend, a neighbor). Send a text, an email, or make a phone call; but don't choose to be alone. More importantly, if you find yourself on the receiving end to someone reaching out to you please don't ignore them. Take five minutes or more and talk with them. Your voice and conversation lets them know people still care about them and they don't have to be alone.

Wishing you a wonderful day and bright tomorrow.

Recognizing The Power of Words

Yesterday was Inauguration Day as our 46th President of the United States was sworn into office. I was working at my day job as an Administrator at our church, and due to our ongoing pandemic restrictions it was like a lot of other days ... productive, but quiet without a lot of human contact or conversation. So as I worked on yearend reports and email communications to our members and visitors I streamed the inauguration on another tab. Pandora music (my usual office companion) would have to wait for another day. Whether you voted for or against our 46th President isn't my concern. Good or bad (depending on your opinion), yesterday was about watching another chapter in the making of our history books. Generations from now people will read about our behavior, our passions, our goals, our accomplishments, and our regrets.

If nothing else 2020 has been a subtle reminder for us all that our actions directly affect each of us and other people. Our motives and follow throughs can make or break long-standing friendships. As a full time church administrator, but more importantly a part time writer I cherish the value of words. I always have. As a sometimes introvert, writing and journaling can become your best friend. It reminds you that you still have a voice and provides you with a platform or release.

Livestreaming the Inauguration I listened to Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lopez, and Garth Brooks as they shared their voices musically. I listened to various speeches and introductions. I listened to promises being made. And I listened to Amanda Gorman, the youngest known inaugural poet. She was poised and delivered a heartfelt message. Of course there will be those who didn't really listen to her words and will spout words of political parties and ulterior motives. I however recognize the power of words. I watched an interview with her later in the day and found her actions and her words during the interview to be even more powerful as she reflected on her poem, the process of writing it, and her presentation. I thought she did a wonderful job and I found her to be inspirational.

Those that appreciate music hear chords and harmonies that I can never grasp; it's their language. Those that like to read appreciate well written books and find them intriguing and fulfilling. For those like me who appreciate the strength of words I remember daily that words and how and when they are used can impact how you feel and how you make someone else feel. Words can lift a person up and give them needed hope or they can instantly belittle and pull someone down into murky waters of loneliness and depression.

We don't need an Inauguration every four years to remind us of the power of words. We only need to wake up each morning and look in the mirror. Think in your head first and listen to your words carefully before you make the decision to verbally share them.

Because I value good words I will leave you with this quote:

Carefully watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Manage and watch your words, for they will become your actions. Consider and judge your actions, for they have become your habits. Acknowledge and watch your habits, for they shall become your values. Understand and embrace your values, for they become your destiny.

~ Mahatma Gandhi

When It Feels Like Groundhog's Day

Groundhog's Day this year will be on February 2nd; only a few weeks away. It's been a long standing tradition to watch for the groundhog and determine if he has seen his shadow; forecasting whether or not we will have six more weeks of winter. When I think of Groundhog's Day I think of the 1993 movie starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell. In the movie Bill Murray's character was stuck in time. Every morning his alarm would go off and he would re-live the SAME day over and over and over. After everything many of us have gone through in 2020 and now heading into this year it's no wonder some people feel like they have been living through a similar scenario.

The Covid pandemic has taught us to wear facial masks, social distance by six feet, and have many of our family gatherings virtually. Everyone has experienced the last 10 months differently. Some have been homeschooling their children or supervising their virtual studies. Some have been working remotely and gotten extremely comfortable working in sweats and slippers; many haven't worn 'real' clothes in months. Some have gone out to work every day, but with their environment feeling extremely different and a lot quieter and lonelier.

It's gotten to the point for a many people where the awkward silence follows the automatic questions of 'What did you do yesterday?' or 'How are you?' Every day seems to run into the next. I've had some people tell me when I call them, 'Sorry I haven't called, I just don't have anything new to say.' Not a good situation to be in, for sure.

When I don't feel like talking either I try to keep busy with something else. Over the last several months I have indulged in 'hobby' time more than any other time in my life. If more than three days goes by and I haven't worked on a painting, I purposely add it to my To Do list. Taking time for myself has become a necessary priority. Trying to keep my mind focused and busy helps me to not feel like I am slipping down into an unwanted rut.

Try not to dwell on all that has changed around us and what uncertainties lie in front of us. Focus on the here and now. It may not seem like it some days, but we really have come a long way. We will tackle whatever we are faced with because we have to. We are resilient that way.

What have you done to take care of yourself?

Ringing In A New Year

2020 was a year so different than any I remember in my lifetime. It was a year filled with fear, anxiety, a pandemic, uncertainties, inconveniences, hatred from strangers (and people we knew), a nasty election (well that part wasn't so different, they usually resume every four years), lots of worries, and searching for answers. It seemed like everyone was ready in full force to be done with 2020 and start fresh with a new year. I am on board with that notion, not because I know that switching the calendar to January 1st will necessarily change anything overnight, but mentally I am ready to start fresh with the HOPE of better things to come with the new year.

I asked readers what they were looking forward to in 2021 and got answers like 'some sense of normalcy', 'being able to see family and friends more', 'scheduling some of the events and activities that we cancelled last year'. It's normal that we miss being in church (and yes, I know that some churches have been meeting anyway; a service for maskers and one for non-maskers - that's a little hard for me to wrap my brain around). People miss gathering in groups larger than 2 or 3. We miss going to lunch with people outside our own household and talking for hours. We miss going to a hockey game or a baseball game. We miss going to a movie theatre and having more than a few people there and being able to purchase overpriced snacks while we're there. We miss travelling and planning our next adventure.

Me? I miss wearing lipstick! I miss seeing my small group in person on a regular basis. I miss the hugs. I miss eating a meal out. I'm tired of ordering a carryout when the order is wrong 50% of the time. I miss the human contact. I miss seeing smiles, or frowns (any sort of visual communication).

Usually on January 1st I'd write about what my goals are and what I hope to accomplish in the coming year. Today feels different. Instead, I have been reflecting on 2020 and thinking about how I reacted to the obstacles. Did I handle things well or could I have done better? What did I learn about myself that might help me be stronger in 2021?

I spoke with someone the other day and they reminded me that as busy and as different as life has been this past year, that I matter too (something I tend to forget too often). It's my nature to be the caregiver, the organizer, the mediator, the one who puts out potential fires, and the good listener. I have 57 years of experience of putting other people's needs first. That needs to change. I spent so much time in 2020 putting myself in overdrive to accommodate everyone else, that I let a part of myself slip away. The ironic thing is that very few people even noticed because their needs were being met so they just assumed I had it all together, Truth be told, none of us have it all together, some of us are just really good at hiding it. This year I need to let some things go. I need to ask other people to do their share, rather than taking it all on myself. I need to speak up more for myself. If I don't like what I see or hear, I need to worry less about people's reactions to my opinions. Why should everyone else get to voice their thoughts, but I feel like I just have to play along? I've never liked conflict and usually avoid it all costs. I've learned that when you hold parts of yourself back for too long, then those parts will either overflow into a noisy messy situation or they'll dissolve along with a part of what makes you who you are.

Let 2021 not be all about making more money or losing more weight. Let it be the year that you fully examine who YOU are and embrace it. If by doing so it causes a little discomfort with people in your life, then that's okay. You can't do everything for everybody else forever. Maybe by me learning to stand up more for myself, other people in my life will learn that they're capable of standing a little stronger as well.

How are you feeling about 2021?