Spread A Little Joy

Some days are hectic and you find yourself taking a much needed break with a little social media for a distraction; Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. Then there are days when you hit a lull in your schedule and you turn to social media to pass a few minutes while you're waiting for an appointment. Either way social media can drag you in. Maybe you just cruise the Internet to check the baseball scores or read the latest Covid numbers, it's entirely up to you. Social media though, like anything else in life, has it's pros and cons. There are YouTube videos that can explain anything from installing a light fixture, fixing a leaky kitchen faucet, to opening up a kid's stroller (don't judge me but I looked up this video when my oldest granddaughter was a baby and I was watching her - let's just say the strollers today are WAY different than when my kids were babies). There are also going to be letdowns with social media; bad stock reviews, disheartening headlines, and trolls that post unnecessary comments on just about anything. Suddenly people declare themselves both judge and jury on topics they know absolutely nothing about.

So how do we direct the social media we take in? By learning to make important choices for ourselves. We choose what we want to read or watch. People will always post negative items and simply justify it by saying, 'If you don't like it, don't read it.' True enough, that choice is on us. Sometimes those choices can be difficult though. You may not want to 'unfriend' someone right now because they may need you (or vice versa) someday, but you can choose not to comment and add fuel to their fire. 

Choose to follow the sites that make you healthy, happy, and want to see or hear more. If nothing else, it will help to create a balance for you with the pros and the cons.

I've come across a few Facebook groups that I chose to follow because when I contribute something it will be positive, the posts I read are mostly uplifting or give me productive ideas, and I've had the opportunity to meet people that inspire me. Choose sites that talk about things you like to do or always wanted to do, but lacked the motivation.

Here are a few Facebook groups I follow. They may not be your cup of tea, but there are surely ones out there that will work for you.

• Addicted To Mackinac Island (my absolute favorite place for vacation time)
• My Paint By Numbers Support Group (for those of us who have discovered the joy of adult paint by numbers ... great new hobby)
• Creative Gardening (people sharing pictures of their DIY home gardens; everything from color and plant suggestions to making accent pieces)
• 8:28 Photography (a young lady I had the pleasure of meeting a few years ago for some professional headshots directed her photography business into focusing on newborn and maternity photo sessions. HER WORK IS AMAZING!)

You can follow sites from your favorite author, musician, chef, travel group, or business; not to mention there are ones for horse lovers, cat lovers, dog lovers, etc.

When you have so many positive choices available at your fingertips, try not to dwell on the negative ones. It's just not worth the aggravation.

What are some of the sites you choose to follow that help you center yourself, relax, or feel inspired?

How do you view your successes?

Many people do things to get recognized: movie stars, pop stars, people that want reality TV shows, and people with a YouTube audience. I suppose it goes with the territory if that's the business you're in. If people don't know who you are then they won't follow up on you to see what you're planning next. It's a clear case of supply and demand. Other times people do things for the sole sake of doing something positive for their community (not for the notoriety); they run non-profits, they volunteer in their neighborhoods, they plant beautiful gardens for people to visit, or they help the elderly man who lives next door.

We all have goals and dreams of what we would like to accomplish in our lifetime. Maybe we want to run a marathon (just once), maybe we want to have more people read what we write or listen to our music. I think if we're being honest, when we're passionate about something that we do we want people to notice, we want them to be as excited about our work as we are. It's validating and we want to know that we aren't alone. 

Sure, I can tell you that I write for myself, because it helps me to process my life and all that I see in our world (good or bad) everyday. But I would be kidding myself if I didn't admit that I would also love more exposure with my writing, to be able to reach a larger audience ... not because I have a big ego and think that I'm all that and more, but because I feel so strongly about what I do. When I write it feels like I am allowing myself to be vulnerable and sharing a piece of myself, that alone can be a scary feeling. What if people don't like what I write about? What if no one cares? But we can't dwell on the negative 'what-ifs'. If we did that we would never get anywhere. 

We need to keep our goals personal; do what we do for the right reasons. If we do that, only good things can happen. People will notice; they'll be intrigued and they'll ask questions, they'll talk about it with someone else, they'll SHARE a Facebook post or a website, and people will start to notice the genuineness of your work. It won't happen over night. There are no easy routes or short cuts. Hard work, diligence, honesty, and integrity in your work are what will get it noticed.

As busy as our world gets and as busy as we each get dealing with the responsibilities of our own lives, we need to remember that life is a two-way street. If we want people to support what we pour our hearts into then it's only right to know that we need to return that favor. Start to pay attention more to the young mom who is standing in line with three little kids; open the door for her and tell her she is doing a great job. If you have a good waiter at a restaurant, don't take them for granted. Make conversation with them as 'the person they are' and let them know you appreciated their good service. When you hear someone playing the guitar or singing in church on a Sunday morning, tell them afterward how good their music made you feel. When you read something online (Facebook, Instagram, etc), LIKE someone's post and most importantly SHARE it. That's the only way their work will spread.

What is your passion that you're trying to share with the world?

How can we help get the word out?

The Technological Chain Letter

When I was a young girl, maybe age 11 or 12, my friends and I would get chain letters. Ours were handwritten and sent through the mail with a postage stamp. We generally only got mail on our birthdays from out of town relatives, so getting something in the mail was a big deal. I did write to a pen pal during the 5th grade, a student from another school in another state (a class project of sorts), but that was the only mail I would get. It's exciting when you're 11 to walk out to the mailbox and come back with something with your name on it.

 

My, how things have changed. We didn't have cell phones or computers when I was younger, so we communicated by writing letters, talking on the phone (the kind with a cord attached to the wall in the kitchen with absolutely NO privacy), or we knocked on someone's door and then sat on the front porch.

 

Today is very different. On any given day I can get a 'forwarded' email with an inspirational story that I am invited (or gently coerced) into sharing with my friends. There's usually the promise of good fortune or prayers sent my way, but ONLY if I share. Then there is the subtle hints toward guilt if I don't; 'I know which of my friends will share this and which ones won't' or 'If you're not ashamed to share this ...'.  Really? I lead a very busy life, like most everyone. I may have time, at some point, to read through your email, but it may take a week and then what? I've missed my deadline, so now I am doomed to live the next 10 years with bad luck?

 

On most days I love my Facebook account; I get to read what my family and friends are up to, celebrate their happy moments and accomplishments, and feel connected. What I don't like is the political rants, the way technology has made it too easy for people to be bullies and say whatever mean things they want to people they know and people they don't know and hide behind cartoon photos and fake names. But, if I'm being totally honest, I also do not care for the posts that generally have a sincere message, but then attach that good message with a double dose of guilt; 'copy and paste this to your timeline for 1 hour' or 'I know which of my friends will read all the way through this message and then care enough to share'. I would much rather read your thoughts, applaud your efforts for sharing, and then form my own opinion; but the second an ultimatum is attached I will lose interest. Hopefully this doesn't make me a bad person. I will still read your message, consider your beliefs, and most likely support your cause if I agree, but most times I will not share it to my timeline or forward it to my contact list. That is my opinion and my choice, as it is yours for posting in the format that you do.

 

Will you still consider me your 'Facebook' friend if I don't? I hope so. I would hate to think that our friendship was structured around ultimatums and guilt.

 

How do you feel? Do you tend to share posts and emails that you receive, and if so why? Do you tend to send the posts asking for support? I understand that exposure means everything when you are trying to share news or support a cause. What topics are you most likely to share?

 

In a respectful and productive way, please help me understand.

To 'Friend' or 'Unfriend'

I am not sure how many of my readers are active on Facebook; although to read my blog you obviously have at least Internet access. On Facebook you have the ability to create a personal page; people can request to follow you by being your 'friend'. Within the lapse of a second and the mere click of a mouse you can now increase your 'friend' base. The next question would be how many of your Facebook friends do you actually know? Are all 272 or 843 (which is possible if you're a college student) of them actually friends, merely acquaintances, or perhaps just friends of friends. The thing about being friends with someone on Facebook is that while they will see all of the well thought out posts, funny anecdotes, and whimsical pictures you've posted on your page ... you also get to see EVERYTHING that they post on their page. And there can lie the dilemma.

 

To 'Unfriend' someone also only takes a click of the mouse. If they're busy they won't even know you dropped them - they won't get a warning announcement, there will be no bells or whistles, or visible smoke signals outside their window. In my Facebook lifetime of a few years I can only remember choosing to 'unfriend' someone a handful of times. Naturally I felt uneasy about it, a bit guilty, and very judgmental, BUT it was my choice. Of course, I am not naïve enough to think for even a second that someone hasn't 'unfriended' me along the way.

 

In the grand scheme of life there are those things I can control and then there are the endless things I know I cannot. I can choose, however, how I want to live my life; what influences I want to knowingly subject myself to, what decisions I hope to make, what goals I want to set for myself, and what kind of example I want to be for others. When it becomes clear to me that certain influences are no longer favorable (for my life), whether that be the language people choose to use or the pictures they choose to post to their Facebook pages, then I can choose not to subject myself to it. I do not wish to hear stories of drunkenness,  read colorful language filled with useless 4-letter words, or see photos of new tattoos that are in places that can not be shown at work or in public restaurants, etc.

 

I will not judge people for their choices because they are different than mine. I am not going to put myself on a pedestal to say that my choice is right and theirs is wrong, BUT I can choose not to subject myself to it. I have enough to deal with on a daily basis living with the consequences of my own decisions.

 

This past weekend I chose to 'unfriend' 2 people. My choice. One was actually a business page that I felt no longer had anything to offer to me and the second was a young woman I met a year ago. We were never anything more than acquaintances who had a few things in common. Perhaps I felt maternal toward her or it was a woman-to-woman bond, but in the last year I've read about her journey and viewed her photos showing choices she made and I felt ... saddened ... perhaps even disappointed. I do not really know her nor does she know me at all. We've never even had a sit-down one-on-one conversation. I know I would never have any kind of influence on her life, so it was time for me to disengage. Again, my choice. There's something to be said for not standing by and watching an unstoppable train speed down the track knowing that there's nothing you can do to prevent it.

This post isn't meant to judge anyone or change anyone, it's only meant to point out that we do have choices that involve our own lives. It's meant to suggest that we should fill our lives with more positive influences.

Have you ever made the BIG decision to 'unfriend' someone? Was it easy or was it hard?

It's Easy To Cross The Social Media Line

Everyday I read Facebook posts, Internet headlines, and hear about Twitter and Instagram. People share the good and the bad. Sometimes too much. Do you go too far? Do you find yourself 'crossing the social media line'? There's a saying when doing home improvement projects that says you should 'measure twice and cut once.' The same theory applies to using social media but in a bit of a different way. We need to be our own editor. We need to write, then read the words twice - once with our own eyes and the second time as an unknown reader. That's when we should tweak our words if needed, maybe even not post them. If you're ever not 100% sure of your content then stop and ask yourself a few questions.

• Is what you're posting TOO private?
• Could what you're posting be offensive to anyone? (I suppose if that doesn't concern you then that's your business, as unfortunate as it would be.)
• What will you gain with your post? Will your words inspire, make someone laugh or smile, or prevent a hardship? Or will your words tear a person down, intimidate, or hurt someone else?

None of us are perfect. I know I'm not. I've posted things at different points that I may have regretted later, but I never hurt anyone (perhaps only embarrassed myself). Being aware, being responsible and being honest with yourself is half the battle. These traits can give us the tools we need to do better. That's all any of us can ask of ourselves. I love the possibility of words, but they can also be an obstacle.

 

 

 

Social Media: Is It For You?

Today I attended a workshop at the Macomb Regional Community Media Lab in Clinton Twp., MI, hosted by the Macomb Daily. Sometimes, no matter your age, it can be overwhelming and nerve wracking to go back to school; whether you're in high school, starting college, or attending a media workshop at the age of 50. Today's topic of discussion was 'Contributing Community Content'. The first 20 minutes or so focused on preparing press releases for businesses, non-profits, fundraisers, events, etc. I do this all the time in my job as a church administrative associate. We constantly host community events like vacation bible school, CARE parenting series', and health and wellness workshops - which I've promoted for nearly 12 years. For a moment I listened, got some great ideas on how to better convey my messages AND thought I was pretty tech savvy. That feeling of confidence quickly diminished as they moved on to the next topic of social media.

Yes, I am active on Facebook; I actually have two Facebook pages - one personal and one for this blog. I may not use Twitter or You Tube, but I do know that when you 'tweet' your followers are called 'tweeps' and there are various kinds of videos you can post like Vines that run for 6 seconds. Then my head began to swim as they started dropping big words like RebelMouse, Tout, Hoot Suite, and bit.ly. RebelMouse is a site that allows you to bring all your social network feeds together in one place. I don't think I'm ready for that since I only use Facebook and have my blog. Tout, on the other hand, fascinates me. Tout lets you create 15 second videos; great for giving a shout out to a reader, introducing a new blog entry, or sharing a quick review of a product you just tried. The good part is I can create Tout videos right on my laptop using the web cam (since I don't have an IPhone). Hoot Suite is another site that allows you to schedule your posts to your social sites, kind of time saving if you're only available to work on your sites in the morning but would prefer that your posts showed up at various times throughout the day. Then there's bit.ly. It's a site that lets you shorten your URL addresses so that when you post a link to articles and photos your URL is more direct and catchy.

For me, the great thing about the Macomb Regional Community Media Lab is its convenience and the free professional instruction it makes available to the community. What a great concept. They offer one-on-one sessions, as well as a variety of workshops. They've been a life savor to me as I've been learning about the different options that are available. When you consider using social media you need to ask yourself a couple of questions. How much time do I want to invest in my social networking? What do I hope to gain by using the various sites? 

There's a old saying that talks about 'picking your battles', for me social media is about 'choosing my challenges'. My plan is to attend as many workshops and one-on-one sessions as possible and take away at least one goal from each session. It's important to keep growing, no matter what your age is.

What's your favorite source of social media and why? I'd love to know. Is it You Tube, Pinterest, Instagram, Snapchat? Perhaps you use something I haven't even mentioned.