The Hope Of Spring

We've had primarily great weather over the last week. We've had days filled with blue skies and sunshine, afternoons with a slight breeze, and thanks to the time change evenings with extended daylight offering up opportunities for a walk after dinner. Of course, it's still Michigan weather so with this time of year anything goes. The temperatures could change 25 degrees during a 24-hour period. Nonetheless now that we are officially entering the spring season, I find myself hopeful.

The winter was a long one, perhaps due to the pandemic and limited visits with friends and family. Outdoor dining and driveway visits just weren't happening unless you waved at a neighbor while shoveling snow off of the sidewalk.

Spring brings Lent, renewed hope, and an array of opportunities. I find my spirits lifted when I get to leave my desk in the late afternoon and take a walk around the parking lot. Working in a church has been extremely lonely these past twelve months with having the majority of our ministries and services being held virtually. Technology is great when it works, but there's nothing like actually seeing people in person. We aren't quite to the hugging stage, but we will get there. We miss social interaction. We miss human contact. We miss verbal communication in person.

In the autumn we have cider mills, pumpkin patches, Thanksgiving and Christmas to look forward to (even though this past season was limited). But once we get into January and February in Michigan the days can seem darker; it's dark when I leave for work and dark when I return home and pull my car into the garage. Yet, we are resilient and we've learned to get through it. Now spring is here and there is a renewed sense of hope; more daylight, slightly warmer temperatures, and outdoor walks again.

If you're still feeling dragged down (physically or emotionally) from the winter, know that you are definitely not alone. Walk with me and take some baby steps that will help you re-engage. Do a little spring cleaning. Make some plans for the summer; plan a getaway that you feel comfortable with, think of some ideas and ways to spruce up your landscaping, or simply take a walk and look for inspiration. Last week I found myself walking through a local garden center just to see the patio set ups and the colorful flower pots.

I know many of us have gotten used to being more isolated during this pandemic. I know that I will have to ease myself slowly back into indoor dining (it's been more than a year since I've eaten inside of a restaurant). It's all about baby steps. Every day that the weather is nice, push yourself to go outside even if you have no particular place to go. Go for a walk or a drive with the windows rolled down.

Life will improve from the way that it's been. So get out there and enjoy the spring weather and be reminded of the hope of the season.

What are you getting back to that you've missed?

Don't Let IT Win

One year ago we were presented with an unheard of Covid pandemic, lots of new restrictions and requirements, and an immediate lock down. Kids started virtual learning at home rather than going to school, many parents started working their jobs remotely, and the store shelves were mostly void of Lysol wipes and toilet paper. We were told not to leave our homes or see our families, but if we did have to leave to go to the grocery store we were to remain six feet apart and wear masks at all times while in public.

Last March we were told it would last three weeks and people were skeptical about whether or not they could even manage to wear a mask that long. People whined and complained and finger pointed and shared strong opinions on social media (after all, what else can you do from home after you've organized your closets and cleaned your basement, lol). Wow, a whole year has gone by and wearing masks outside of your home has become the new norm. Twelve long months can certainly help you gain some perspective.

Now as three vaccines are slowly becoming available and some people have been fortunate enough to get their shots in the arm, the hope of society gaining some herd immunity is a light in our tunnel. 

There's a saying that suggests if you do something for three weeks it has the ability to become a habit (good or bad). Most people continue to wear their masks in public to reduce the spreading of the virus, something many didn't think they'd be able to stick with a year ago. But there are other aspects of the pandemic to look at as well. We've stayed home, we've stayed out of restaurants and public places, many have been forced to stay out of church (in-person). The truth is that the longer you stay away from something the harder it is for some to go back. There's a sense of excitement for some that things will automatically be like they used to be once they walk back through the doors of their church or office or movie theatre. But for other people they've become so used to being isolated that the idea of being back around people again has become immobilizing. They're nervous and rightfully so. The reality is that the longer we wait to call someone or go somewhere or do something we used to do, the easier it will be for our minds to tell us that we've done fine without it and just don't need it in the same way as we used to.

Please don't let IT win. By IT, I mean the worry, the self-doubt, and the fear. Whatever you have been yearning to get back to, make plans to do it. It's perfectly okay to take baby steps and reacclimate in a way that makes you most comfortable. We didn't ask for the pandemic or the lockdowns or the lack of socializing or conversations with friends and family. We didn't ask for extroverts to be guilted into becoming introverts by forcing them to isolate themselves. This process has taken way longer than three weeks, so it's natural for it to take longer to get back to where we want it to be.

For those who miss seeing their grandkids more regularly or their friends or co-workers in person (anything other than Zoom calls and video chats), know that it will come. Now you need to start preparing yourself for when it does. Don't let your fear and worry dictate to you that it's better for you to give up and close yourself off. Don't let IT win.

How are you faring these days?

What things are you most looking forward to getting back to?

What have you found you've done fine with giving up?

Starting Fresh

February 2021 is turning out to be a snowy month here in the mitten, but also across the U.S. including the southern states. The last year has been full of Covid stress, political chaos, surprises (some good, some not), and many changes. With change all we can do is adapt the best we can. It doesn't mean we have to like all of the changes, but we have to learn to live with them. In the last twelve months I have gone to work every day to a primarily lonely empty building. My family has seen very few people outside of our bubble. My sleep patterns have progressively gotten worse, my hairline has thinned out, I've lost a little weight (not necessarily a bad thing)  ... but on the bright side I've saved money and been thrifty, I've read a few books, and I've accomplished some pretty detailed PBN paintings. Like I said there is the good and the bad. The important thing is to find a balance you can handle.

So what does any of this have to do with there being snow outside? Perhaps nothing, but as I drove down the street this morning I was in awe with the fresh couple of inches of snow we got last night. It's sparkling and amazing! The snow was layered delicately on the bushes and tree branches. It gave me a fresh outlook on my day. It covered the grey and doom and gloom I've been feeling and gave me a sense of hope and a new day with a new start. I know it will melt and the dirty slush will appear again soon, but for right now I am enjoying the moment. 

Wherever you are today (geographically, mentally, or spiritually) ... embrace it for what it is. Make a choice to either let it run your life for you or decide what you can do to make it what you want. Many people feel isolated and out of touch right now, but take a chance and reach out to someone (a family member, a friend, a neighbor). Send a text, an email, or make a phone call; but don't choose to be alone. More importantly, if you find yourself on the receiving end to someone reaching out to you please don't ignore them. Take five minutes or more and talk with them. Your voice and conversation lets them know people still care about them and they don't have to be alone.

Wishing you a wonderful day and bright tomorrow.

Recognizing The Power of Words

Yesterday was Inauguration Day as our 46th President of the United States was sworn into office. I was working at my day job as an Administrator at our church, and due to our ongoing pandemic restrictions it was like a lot of other days ... productive, but quiet without a lot of human contact or conversation. So as I worked on yearend reports and email communications to our members and visitors I streamed the inauguration on another tab. Pandora music (my usual office companion) would have to wait for another day. Whether you voted for or against our 46th President isn't my concern. Good or bad (depending on your opinion), yesterday was about watching another chapter in the making of our history books. Generations from now people will read about our behavior, our passions, our goals, our accomplishments, and our regrets.

If nothing else 2020 has been a subtle reminder for us all that our actions directly affect each of us and other people. Our motives and follow throughs can make or break long-standing friendships. As a full time church administrator, but more importantly a part time writer I cherish the value of words. I always have. As a sometimes introvert, writing and journaling can become your best friend. It reminds you that you still have a voice and provides you with a platform or release.

Livestreaming the Inauguration I listened to Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lopez, and Garth Brooks as they shared their voices musically. I listened to various speeches and introductions. I listened to promises being made. And I listened to Amanda Gorman, the youngest known inaugural poet. She was poised and delivered a heartfelt message. Of course there will be those who didn't really listen to her words and will spout words of political parties and ulterior motives. I however recognize the power of words. I watched an interview with her later in the day and found her actions and her words during the interview to be even more powerful as she reflected on her poem, the process of writing it, and her presentation. I thought she did a wonderful job and I found her to be inspirational.

Those that appreciate music hear chords and harmonies that I can never grasp; it's their language. Those that like to read appreciate well written books and find them intriguing and fulfilling. For those like me who appreciate the strength of words I remember daily that words and how and when they are used can impact how you feel and how you make someone else feel. Words can lift a person up and give them needed hope or they can instantly belittle and pull someone down into murky waters of loneliness and depression.

We don't need an Inauguration every four years to remind us of the power of words. We only need to wake up each morning and look in the mirror. Think in your head first and listen to your words carefully before you make the decision to verbally share them.

Because I value good words I will leave you with this quote:

Carefully watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Manage and watch your words, for they will become your actions. Consider and judge your actions, for they have become your habits. Acknowledge and watch your habits, for they shall become your values. Understand and embrace your values, for they become your destiny.

~ Mahatma Gandhi

When It Feels Like Groundhog's Day

Groundhog's Day this year will be on February 2nd; only a few weeks away. It's been a long standing tradition to watch for the groundhog and determine if he has seen his shadow; forecasting whether or not we will have six more weeks of winter. When I think of Groundhog's Day I think of the 1993 movie starring Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell. In the movie Bill Murray's character was stuck in time. Every morning his alarm would go off and he would re-live the SAME day over and over and over. After everything many of us have gone through in 2020 and now heading into this year it's no wonder some people feel like they have been living through a similar scenario.

The Covid pandemic has taught us to wear facial masks, social distance by six feet, and have many of our family gatherings virtually. Everyone has experienced the last 10 months differently. Some have been homeschooling their children or supervising their virtual studies. Some have been working remotely and gotten extremely comfortable working in sweats and slippers; many haven't worn 'real' clothes in months. Some have gone out to work every day, but with their environment feeling extremely different and a lot quieter and lonelier.

It's gotten to the point for a many people where the awkward silence follows the automatic questions of 'What did you do yesterday?' or 'How are you?' Every day seems to run into the next. I've had some people tell me when I call them, 'Sorry I haven't called, I just don't have anything new to say.' Not a good situation to be in, for sure.

When I don't feel like talking either I try to keep busy with something else. Over the last several months I have indulged in 'hobby' time more than any other time in my life. If more than three days goes by and I haven't worked on a painting, I purposely add it to my To Do list. Taking time for myself has become a necessary priority. Trying to keep my mind focused and busy helps me to not feel like I am slipping down into an unwanted rut.

Try not to dwell on all that has changed around us and what uncertainties lie in front of us. Focus on the here and now. It may not seem like it some days, but we really have come a long way. We will tackle whatever we are faced with because we have to. We are resilient that way.

What have you done to take care of yourself?

Ringing In A New Year

2020 was a year so different than any I remember in my lifetime. It was a year filled with fear, anxiety, a pandemic, uncertainties, inconveniences, hatred from strangers (and people we knew), a nasty election (well that part wasn't so different, they usually resume every four years), lots of worries, and searching for answers. It seemed like everyone was ready in full force to be done with 2020 and start fresh with a new year. I am on board with that notion, not because I know that switching the calendar to January 1st will necessarily change anything overnight, but mentally I am ready to start fresh with the HOPE of better things to come with the new year.

I asked readers what they were looking forward to in 2021 and got answers like 'some sense of normalcy', 'being able to see family and friends more', 'scheduling some of the events and activities that we cancelled last year'. It's normal that we miss being in church (and yes, I know that some churches have been meeting anyway; a service for maskers and one for non-maskers - that's a little hard for me to wrap my brain around). People miss gathering in groups larger than 2 or 3. We miss going to lunch with people outside our own household and talking for hours. We miss going to a hockey game or a baseball game. We miss going to a movie theatre and having more than a few people there and being able to purchase overpriced snacks while we're there. We miss travelling and planning our next adventure.

Me? I miss wearing lipstick! I miss seeing my small group in person on a regular basis. I miss the hugs. I miss eating a meal out. I'm tired of ordering a carryout when the order is wrong 50% of the time. I miss the human contact. I miss seeing smiles, or frowns (any sort of visual communication).

Usually on January 1st I'd write about what my goals are and what I hope to accomplish in the coming year. Today feels different. Instead, I have been reflecting on 2020 and thinking about how I reacted to the obstacles. Did I handle things well or could I have done better? What did I learn about myself that might help me be stronger in 2021?

I spoke with someone the other day and they reminded me that as busy and as different as life has been this past year, that I matter too (something I tend to forget too often). It's my nature to be the caregiver, the organizer, the mediator, the one who puts out potential fires, and the good listener. I have 57 years of experience of putting other people's needs first. That needs to change. I spent so much time in 2020 putting myself in overdrive to accommodate everyone else, that I let a part of myself slip away. The ironic thing is that very few people even noticed because their needs were being met so they just assumed I had it all together, Truth be told, none of us have it all together, some of us are just really good at hiding it. This year I need to let some things go. I need to ask other people to do their share, rather than taking it all on myself. I need to speak up more for myself. If I don't like what I see or hear, I need to worry less about people's reactions to my opinions. Why should everyone else get to voice their thoughts, but I feel like I just have to play along? I've never liked conflict and usually avoid it all costs. I've learned that when you hold parts of yourself back for too long, then those parts will either overflow into a noisy messy situation or they'll dissolve along with a part of what makes you who you are.

Let 2021 not be all about making more money or losing more weight. Let it be the year that you fully examine who YOU are and embrace it. If by doing so it causes a little discomfort with people in your life, then that's okay. You can't do everything for everybody else forever. Maybe by me learning to stand up more for myself, other people in my life will learn that they're capable of standing a little stronger as well.

How are you feeling about 2021?

A Reflection of 2020

2020 has been unique in many ways. It definitely has not been the year to say you achieved this goal or that goal; took the vacation you wanted and planned for, got the new job or promotion you were working toward, or now have the new relationship you were hoping you'd have (unless you managed to pull off an outdoor Covid wedding).

Looking back as we get ready to close out 2020 you'll see it has been a year when we learned to appreciate the milestones. 

• Working from home and adapting to a new schedule that involved virtual learning for your children or working at your office (often alone) and finding ways to accept the new sense of loneliness.
• You mastered zoom meetings and online family gatherings.
• You learned not to take time for granted, but appreciate the moments more.
• You may have realized and had to accept some friendships/relationships for what they were and more importantly what they weren't.

2020 has been the year when I learned to paint, people found and invested time in new hobbies, and we arranged garage and backyard socially-distanced small gatherings. Many people learned to look beyond themselves and do things not just for themselves, but for the greater good of those around them. We learned to deal with our sense of patience and understanding (or lack of) when we discovered we had to be more creative in the ways we saw and did things.

Maybe we will look back at 2020 as a year filled with self-discovery; a time when we what saw what depths of strength we really had.

Flipping the calendar to 2021 won't change life overnight - it won't eliminate any losses we've faced, lessen any grieving, or miraculously make things 'normal' again. It will be a sign that we are survivors and ready for a new year, hopefully one filled with newfound hope, resilience, and a renewed faith.

What is something you discovered about yourself during 2020?