Out With The Old

Tomorrow is the last day of 2018. It feels like it is time to write the obligatory New Year's Eve blog post; something about whether or not to make a resolution or set a goal. Truth be told; I'm just not feeling it this year. Don't get me wrong; I like to set goals for myself, I just don't like the added pressure of setting my calendar to it for January 1st. Our lives aren't that good at sticking to timetables; at least mine isn't.

I tend to spend my New Year's holidays reflecting on what was successful for me during the last 12 months and what needs some work. Some years the list is pretty lopsided, some good some not so much. For me 2018 had many blessings; another year of good health, two healthy granddaughters who make me laugh, a wonderful and supportive family, and a very productive summer of heavy labor redoing our backyard landscaping. Like a lot of people I know, 2018 also brought with it some changes and some unwanted stresses. I guess that puts a lot of us in the same boat.

So what does that mean for 2019? Great question, I think. For me and others that I know, we are in a place where we're trying to accept and understand some of the changes that we've been facing. We're trying our best to gain some clarity to see if we merely need to concede and accept the changes we're being handed or if we still have a voice in what we want to see happen. Some will say that we always have a choice and in some situations that may be true, but not all the time. Some times the changes are going to happen with or without us. Some times the best we can hope to achieve is to decide if the changes work for us or whether it's time we go in a different direction and charter our own course.

No two people's situations will be the same, which means no two plan of attacks will be the same. What works for some may not work for others. That's where the clarity comes in; being able to look at our own lives and decide what we are looking for and what fits best is obviously very personal (as it should be). We need to take ownership of our own choices; whether they seem logical or make sense to anyone else really doesn't matter.

New Year's Eve is tomorrow and whether or not you choose to set a goal of losing 10# in 2019 or work more on a personal relationship - the choices are all yours. You get to decide. You get to take ownership of your own future. You get to decide what makes you happy or what doesn't.

Do you make New Year's resolutions? Do they work for you?

Do you prefer to reflect on where you've been and where you want to go?

Regardless, 2018 is drawing to a close tomorrow and a new year is on our horizon. I guess, if nothing else, it's fair to say, 'OUT WITH THE OLD AND IN WITH THE NEW.'

Happy New Year!

Taking Time To Enjoy The Holiday

It's that time of year, just before Christmas, when it's very easy to get stressed. Some would say that the holiday season has snuck up on them and they aren't prepared. They haven't had time to shop or bake or write out cards or decorate their tree. Funny thing is that Christmas comes at the exact same time every year. I'm not sure why people act surprised that's it's only a week away. It's not like those birthdays that fall in the few first days of the month and you accidentally forget about them until you flip your calendar page over for the next month. No ... Christmas falls on the 25th of December, just like it did last year and the year before that and the year before that. 

Truth be told, for me, it's not the holiday itself that gives me stress. I started my shopping this year way ahead of time, so I could do it in small increments. I bought my Christmas cards in October and had them written out, stamped, and ready to mail before December 1st. With Thanksgiving coming a little early this year we had our outdoor lights up (thanks to Mother Nature being reasonable) and our indoor tree up and decorated by Thanksgiving. I was feeling ahead of the game. No last minute holiday scrambling for me this year, lol. 

For me it's the other 'stuff' that gives me the stress. I try to be proactive and handle it the best I can; some is avoidable and some is not. I have certain things to take care of for my mom who's in a nursing home (her Christmas open house, her holiday shopping for the nursing staff, and her annual paperwork needed for the State). It's the extra work load at work trying to plan ahead and do 2 1/2 weeks of work in one week so that I can be home between Christmas and New Year's. Things still need to get done; other people rely on it, but it also makes for a lot of long hours. 

Every year I find myself feeling overly stressed and tired around the holidays, but it's not usually because of the holidays. Every year I seem to need my mammogram at the end of the year, but this year decided to postpone til January, along with my annual physical. Mammograms aren't always a big deal, but when you're a breast cancer survivor who was originally diagnosed during the holidays it's always stressful.  Right now, though, I am carving out this little bit of time for myself to sit on the couch with my laptop; no TV, no music, the tree lights are on illuminating the room ... just me and my thoughts and a plan to put them into words. Trust me, I have enough on my mind as it is without storing up blog post ideas, too!

How do you handle the holiday season? Is it all twinkle lights and Christmas cookies, or do you just want to go to bed early some nights so you can store up the needed energy to get through the next day? Is your plate overflowing with responsibilities? Do you feel a bit sad or overwhelmed? Whatever you are feeling, it's perfectly okay. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Don't put any unneeded pressure on yourself. Do what you can when you can. If something doesn't get done, that's okay. It'll be there when you're ready to get back at it.

Try to put your own needs at the top of the list when you can, even if it's only for a night. Fix yourself a cup of tea and turn on a Hallmark movie (don't judge me, Hallmark always helps me disengage from the responsibilities of life and escape for 2 hours ... if I'm lucky enough to fall asleep I don't even mind because I know all Hallmark movies will have a happy ending).

As the Christmas holiday quickly approaches my hope for you is that you find contentment, you spend time with friends when you want or need company, but always make time for yourself to be quiet when that's what you need. Sometimes the festivities can help us feel social, but other times it can be overwhelming. I hope your holidays are all that you want them to be.

What Color Nail Polish Will You Wear?

It's the day after Thanksgiving; some people have been up since the crack of dawn this morning to stand in line for that 'special' gift, while others like myself are home and enjoying nothing more than the peace and quiet. I will most likely head out for a few errands later today; after most of the mobs have gone home feeling exhausted (at least that's my hope).

Around this time of year I feel like I should write something very profound; something about the things I am thankful for, about getting in the holiday spirit, and planning to spend quality time with family and friends. But the only real epiphany I have is about the color of nail polish I chose to wear yesterday. Crazy, right? That's the best I can come up with? Apparently, lol.

On Wednesday my family and I were outside getting rid of the fall mums and the last of the pumpkins and putting up the outdoor lights on the house. Doing that I knew my hands would get beat up, so I decided to pamper myself yesterday and paint my nails before heading out to visit family for Thanksgiving.

I looked in my box where I store my nail polishes and had a monumental decision to make ... what color should I wear? Of course I have about 8 bottles of varying shades of pink (my stand by), a couple of summery beachy colors, and a couple that are a bit more bold. What was my mood? Was I feeling cautious or daring? Like an extrovert or an introvert? Why was the shade of polish I would choose so important? Would anyone even notice? Would it even matter? Apparently so; at least it mattered to me.

In the late 70s when I was a teenager there was a phenomenon called 'mood rings'. They were all the rage and if you wore one you were thought to be extremely hip and cool. Of course I had one, lol (or maybe two). The idea behind the mood ring was simple, wear it on your finger and it would reflect the state of your emotions. People would know HOW you were feeling by the color of your ring. It took all the guess work out of it; you didn't have to tell anyone if you were happy or sad - they would just know. Today, nail polish colors kind of work the same way. You can choose something subdued or bright and bold, something relaxing or something with high energy. I used to think if I was beyond a certain age or a parent or even a grandparent, I should wear something conservative or responsible or a color that wouldn't get noticed. Wow, how times have changed. I may be 55 years old, a wife, a mother of two adult children, and have two precious granddaughters ... but I like color. The past year or so I've given myself permission to wear what I want, when I want. This Thanksgiving's color of choice? A metallic coppery-brown; which ironically kind of matches the color of my husband's Durango. Not sure what that means, other than he likes the color of his vehicle and I liked the color for my nails.

So is there anything profound to be read in this blog post? I'm not sure, other than giving yourself permission to share the side of you that you are presently feeling. Whether people notice or not is on them, not you.

And if you're a guy reading this post and you're thinking, 'Nail polish colors? Seriously?' Just remember ... no one can rock out the black polish better than Steven Tyler or Ozzy Osbourne.

What's been your 'go to' color of choice lately? What do you think it says about you?

If We Could Only Skip The Drama

Drama is a funny thing; it has the ability to take on a life of its own and run rampant like a snowball building momentum down a mountainside. Drama is fine, at times, as long as it's part of a Hallmark Channel mystery movie; but not when it gets in the way of things we love.

Last week I was having lunch with my husband at a regular local spot and chatting with a waitress we've known for years. She'd always had a great personality and been efficient; probably why we would ask to sit in her section. We were surprised to hear that after nine years she was leaving and taking a new job at another restaurant. She said she loved being a waitress; she liked her job and liked talking with the customers. She took pride in her work. Management had changed and there was beginning to be too much drama; so much so that she was becoming stressed and unhappy. 

Most of us have had times in our lives when we were with someone or doing something (a career, volunteer work, or a hobby) that we felt passionate about; those times when we felt good about getting up in the morning and looked forward to what our day had in store for us. But when 'drama' gets in the way, it isn't healthy. Our light becomes dim and our excitement about what's to come lessens. Our motivation to make a difference can easily lose its strength.

I suppose the first step to taking care of ourselves is to be aware when something is interfering with our passions, our health, and our spirit. Doing things we are good at and contribute to making us happy and feeling whole is something we have to take ownership of. It belongs to us and no one else. What we choose to do with our passions, our gifts, and our talents is completely up to us. When drama threatens to get in the way, we need to make a choice. That's what our waitress, Stephanie, did. She saw the stress start to affect her life and didn't like what she saw. She made the tough decision to leave co-workers and customers she liked and chose to allow herself to become whole again and start fresh. Kudos to Stephanie for taking the horse by the reins and getting back on the path that makes her happy. I wish her luck and will be sure to look for her at her new location.

Today's world can be stressful enough with all of the things that we cannot control. But our own destiny ... that is something we need to hold on to with both hands. God has a plan for each us; we don't always know what it is in the time frame we would like, but God has it taken care of. He will give us the strength we need when we need it. We will get where we need to be and accomplish what we are meant to accomplish. We just need to be patient (I can admit, that's never been one of my strong suits, lol).

When was the last time drama got in the way of you doing something you love?

Was the drama yours or someone else's?

How did you get past it?

It's An Overlapping Time of Year

When I looked out the windows this week I saw dry leaves blowing across the parking lots, trees and burning bushes turning gold and crimson, pumpkins and corn stalks in front of many houses, and photos popping up on social media of a variety of Halloween costumes. It's the end of October which means plenty of Trunk Or Treating events. It also means Hallmark has kicked off their Christmas movie season. Some would say, 'What ... Christmas movies already? Slow down! Let's enjoy one holiday at a time.' But don't get mad at Hallmark. They aren't the only ones on the band wagon to speed up time. Many stores have had Christmas items for sale for weeks now; of course they're just an aisle over from the Halloween and Thanksgiving decor. Equal time for equal holidays? I'm not exactly sure about that, but then some holidays bring in more revenue than others (business is business after all).

My kids are grown now and yet for some reason it still seems like once Labor Day rolls around and the school year has resumed, time just seems to go by a little faster. Summer ends, autumn begins, football games and tailgating takes place every weekend, it gets darker outside earlier, Halloween is upon us, Thanksgiving dinner discussions are already in full gear, and some people already have their check list complete for Christmas (okay, maybe not many, but enough to make me feel a little rushed, lol).

As we get older we tend to wish that time would slow down. There's too many 'responsible' things to get done, leaving not much time for the 'fun' stuff. Every year I say I will do things a little differently in the coming year; that I'll get started earlier so that I can enjoy the holidays more. Truth be told, some things change and improve, and some things stay the same (there's still never enough time).

So, to anyone who complains to me this year that Christmas movies shouldn't be playing yet or the local radio stations shouldn't be asking 'When should they start playing their Christmas music?' I say ... 'Don't worry about it so much!' It's going to happen anyway, so just let it ... in fact, why not just embrace it? What's the worst thing that can happen? You'll be taking your kids trick or treating AND talk to family about Thanksgiving dinner plans AND start picking out your Christmas cards all in the same week. There are worse things in life.

Personally, I don't mind that it's an overlapping time of year. It means I have wonderful things to be part of and look forward to. I enjoy the fall colors, the pumpkins, and kids' costumes. I also like the idea that when everyone's schedules and lives are packed full and busy, that Thanksgiving is still a time to put all of that aside and come together to get caught up with each other. Then there's Christmas ... I LOVE the twinkling lights, the decorations, the aromas of cookies baking and cinnamon scented pine cones on the porch, writing out and receiving festive cards, and standing in line and shopping for just the right gifts for people (yes, I rarely shop online ... I would rather go to a brick and mortar store and talk to people while I stand in line ... I know, call me CRAZY).

My point is to not let your yourself become consumed with the commercialism or the schedules or the To Do lists. Enjoy the moments for what they are. Make the memories. Don't worry about the calendar or what is coming next.

What do you look forward to this time of year?

What part do you like or dislike the most?

Does Your Heart Listen To Your Head?

We've all had moments when we had to make big decisions; those decisions that make you stay awake all night playing out every possible scenario in your head. What if I choose (fill in the blank) and it's the wrong choice? What if it's not the right time to (fill in the blank)? What if I choose one direction and find out later I should have gone the other way?

The thing is that none of us have a crystal ball. None of us have someone that can tell us what the right choice is. The choices we are presented with aren't always clear; we won't always know what to do or if the choice is really what is being presented. Maybe we think it is offering us one thing, when in reality it really isn't. Sometimes if an opportunity seems too good to be true, chance are it might be. It's always going to be difficult to know.

When you have to make a big decision or a choice, people will say to 'go with your gut', 'trust your instincts'. Then you have to ask yourself, 'Do you tend to react with your heart or with your head'. Those that react with their heart may be more emotional; how will something make you feel? Happy, sad, stressed, needed, appreciated? Some tend to react more with their head. They will look at a situation or decision and think about the pros and the cons. What will the job offer? How much time will I be on the road and away from my family? Will the choice they make get them where they want to be and doing what they what to do?

Choices can be about relationships, finances, starting families, choosing the right health treatment, new jobs, taking risks, going back to school, etc. We all make tough choices and make decisions each and every day. We need to have faith that whatever decisions we make are the right ones for us. Will we make mistakes? Undoubtedly, we are human after all. Will we learn from our mistakes? Hopefully so. Will whatever choices we make in our lifetime develop and define our character? You bet they will.

When you have a big decision to make do you tend to go with your heart or your head?

Does your heart ever listen to your head or vice versa?

Does making a big decision tend to keep you up at night?

Defining the Moment

Have you ever listened to the lyrics of a song (that perhaps you've heard before) and for whatever reason they felt new? Have you ever looked at a painting and suddenly understood the meaning the artist was trying to convey? Have you ever felt like a friend supported you with kind words at just the right time?

Sometimes the moment you hear a song, read a poem or a scripture verse, or get a call from a friend is the exact moment you needed for it to happen. Call it luck, call it good timing, or call it destiny if you prefer. I don't always understand why it happens that way, but feel extremely fortunate and blessed when it does. 

We never know when we are going to need to be on the receiving end of 'that moment', but we can cross our fingers that it will happen. 

What can we do? We can stop and think twice the next time we are prompted to do something nice for someone else, whether it's a phone call just to check in, drop off a plate of the cookies we made (because we always make too many, lol), or just compliment the stranger that we chat with while standing in line at the store. Maybe the moment we choose to make that extra effort is 'the moment' they need to know they are being thought of or cared for. 

You know what they say about karma? It always comes back around (good or bad).

My advice, for what it's worth? Be proactive. Be nice. Be considerate. Be thoughtful. Be respectful with your words and actions. In a time when our society is up in arms about everything under the sun and choosing sides over every possible topic ... well, I think a little niceness could go a long way. Will it solve the nastiness of the upcoming elections or social media topics? Probably not, but if I can go to bed at night knowing I tried to be part of a solution, rather than contributing to a problem, I may be able to sleep a little better.

When's the last time you had a moment? The kind of moment where things were turned around for the better, you felt loved and supported, or you felt blessed? I felt blessed last week when my kids (now adults) were in a car accident. The angels were watching over them as they skidded on a wet freeway, not hitting any other cars or getting hit by anyone else. Vehicles can be replaced and bruises and soreness will go away, but it was a moment of real blessing for my family. A moment we can't necessarily explain, but a moment we are truly grateful for.

Stepping Into Autumn

Usually after a long, cold winter many people are thrilled when summer finally arrives; the warmer temperatures, the playful days at the beach, and the many colors of the green grass and beautiful flowers. I love the season of summer as much as the next person and enjoy getting a little color on my skin on a sunny day. But truth be told, by the time August rolls around and we've had 90 degree days for literally weeks I am ready for some cooler nights and the chance to wear a sweater.

I love to grow a variety of outdoor flowers and enjoy the vibrancy of the pinks and purples and yellows in my summer flower pots. My husband laughs at me because if I find a new ceramic pot or a see an annual on sale at a local store I can't help but adopt it and find a new home for it on my porch or patio. Then ... September arrives. Children go back to school, schedules change, my husband and I celebrate our anniversary, and then suddenly it's the end of the month and the leaves on the trees are starting to show their first signs of color changes; just a splash here and there of reds and yellows and oranges.

The cider mills are open, pumpkins are being picked in the fields, high school football games are being played on Friday nights, tailgating is taking place as college rival games are being played on Saturday afternoons, teenagers are getting dressed up and going to homecoming dances, and the temperatures are finally not quite as warm meaning I can finally throw on some jeans to cover my pale legs that have lost whatever tan they had from the summer.

Everyone in Michigan knows we have the best state because we get to enjoy four wonderfully different seasons; each of which has their own unique qualities. I like all four for their own reasons, but of the four autumn has to be my absolute favorite. Taking a Sunday afternoon drive in the country is like looking at a beautiful canvas created by God. Trees adorn a palette of fiery colors; crimson, oranges, and sunny yellows. The leaves blow off the trees and literally chase you down the road as your car drives by. It's breathtaking and peaceful and relaxing, all at the same time. Yep, it's definitely my favorite.

What's your favorite part of autumn? The cider and donuts? The walks in the park?

What special traditions have you created with your family and friends? Hayrides? Pumpkin picking? 

A Nostalgic First Day of School

Today Facebook has been flooded with 'first day of school' photos; at least in my neighborhood. I have a great nephew who started kindergarten this morning, as well as a friend's granddaughter. Aah, the memories of a first day. The first day of elementary school, the first day of junior high, the first day of high school or college, and the first day of a new year for a teacher. Life is all about making memories and first days.

It's wonderful to see the kids so excited about their first day; smiling faces, new backpacks and sneakers, a new lunch box. It's always good when it's a positive experience. Many will come home to tell their parents about their teacher and classroom or their new best friend. Hopefully they will all feel the same next week when they realize they need to keep going, lol.

There are lots of things to remember about the first day of school. My kids are grown now; adults and well past the age of K-12, but I still remember their first days. I also remember the trips to Target or Office Max for the needed school supplies and the dreaded TI-86 graphic calculators. Once they were in junior high or high school it seemed like they needed a new version of calculator every year. By the time they were in high school we had the school supply shopping down to a 'science' or an 'art' form, pardon the school puns.

As a parent who has survived 2 children going through their general education, as well as obtaining their college degrees I pray each day for the students, the parents, and the teachers. So much to learn, so much commitment, and so much responsibility ... for all of them. Education is a beautiful thing and something that should never be taken for granted. As I sit here typing out this blog post I am watching the season premiere of The Ellen Degeneres Show, where Walmart just shared their commitment to education by supporting 5 students currently pursuing their college degrees with $50,000 in scholarships each. OMG! How wonderful for those five students. Taking a little of the stress out of pursuing a better life. That is to be commended.

Here's to a new school year for everyone. May it be one of new experiences, learning new things, making friends, and being respectful of everyone.

If your children are past this 'first day' what are some of your favorite memories?

If you sent your children out the door this morning for their 'first day', how did it go?

What inspires you?

There are days we think we have it all together; that we can accomplish anything we set our mind to. Oh, if that were just the case every day. Some days we need a nudge, a vigorous shove, or some help from outside sources. Often that help can come in the form of inspiration.

If you are an artist you may need to take a walk in wooded nature or on the beach to visually take in all the colors and textures before you put your brush to the canvas.

If you are a songwriter you might want to observe the people and circumstances around you before you feel you can adequately retell the situation with song lyrics.

If you are a writer you may get your best inspirations from quotes that you come across. Sometimes you find the quotes and sometimes they find you; for me those unexpected ones are the best. Here is one that was part of an email sent to me recently by a friend.

'When you discover something that nourishes your soul and brings you joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.'   ~ Jean Shinoda Bolen

This quote, for me, is literally the vigorous shove or the proverbial 2x4 between the eyes. Some people simply have the ability to point out clearly exactly what I need to be reminded of. Like many other people, I wear a lot of hats. I'm a wife, a mother, a mother-in-law, a grandmother, a daughter, a sister, an employee, a friend, someone who likes to putz in her flower beds, a Christian, a cancer survivor, and when I can make time for myself ... a blogger. Writing, for me, is that thing that nourishes my soul and brings me joy. Sometimes, though, the hours and the days get away from me, because 'life' shows up at my doorstep. When I remember to care about myself, I make time to write. It helps me sort through all the 'life' stuff and hopefully regain a little order in my day.

Sometimes I remember and then I blog twice in a week. Other times, like the last 2 weeks, I forget and then days slip by in between blog posts. 

Sometimes you just get tired; the kind of tired that a good night's sleep can't cure. That is another quote I heard somewhere recently, but can't remember where or who said it, sorry. I am feeling inspired by the quotes that have found me. I wrote them out and put them where I can read them whenever I need reminding; which sadly is too often.

Are you feeling frustrated? Overwhelmed? In a rut? 

Ready for a life transition? Encouraged? 
Ready to make things happen in your life?

Where you do find your inspiration?

Not Sweating The Small Stuff

I read a book once (actually I've read many) called 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and It's All Small Stuff' by Richard Carlson, PH.D. It was about learning simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life. There's a lot of wisdom in that little nugget itself. Simplifying things down to their basic core can help you gain (or regain) perspective. The trouble though is that not everything is small stuff and a lot of it isn't even 'your' stuff. That's when things get tricky.

I'll bet if someone did a scientific study on my DNA they would find that besides me being Irish and having more freckles than I can count, I am also a habitual worrier, a planner, a master organizer, one who stresses easily, a born mediator, someone who LOVES a good pizza, etc. The human mind is a very unique thing. Everyone's is different. People behave and react to things differently. What sets one person off and makes them feel anxious sometimes wouldn't bother the person standing next to them in the least. Some of us are detail oriented (to a fault), so much so that we don't miss much. We see how we think things should be and know how we think people should behave, but when things don't fall into our plans in a neat and orderly fashion ... we stress, we worry, and ultimately we try to fix things. Truth is that some things aren't meant to be changed and many aren't even our problems to fix. 

In a perfect world, we could be more objective, be patient, stand back and wait for people to tell us if they needed our help. But I haven't found that perfect balance yet, have you? I see someone else stressing or worrying and I am compelled to be empathetic and feel their stress. Unhealthy for me, I'm sure. Yes, I am one of those people who can watch a Hallmark movie or a Mother's Day commercial and cry before it's even over. 

What am I saying here? That I can admit my strengths, as well as my faults. I care a lot for those in my circle (my family, my friends, my acquaintances, my co-workers, and sometimes even people I've never met). I want to help people. I want to understand what makes them do what they do. I want to fix things. I don't want to stand by and see people hurt (mentally or physically). Those I suppose would be strengths. My weaknesses? Yes, I can be honest - I have those too. I will get hung up on things I shouldn't be stressing over, sometimes little things (like people's behaviors and lack of respect) and sometimes big things (life changing situations). I will admit that when I get hung up on something and can't seem to get past it I've been known to rant about it ... for a while ... probably for way too long. I am not naive enough to think that some of my closest friends don't have moments where they think to themselves, 'Wow, is she still going off about that? Get over it already!' To those friends, I say, 'Thank you for being patient with me. You're the best!' I appreciate them not giving up on me.

What small stuff are you able to put aside and easily get over?

What things do you have a harder time with?

Focus on the Ordinary

Ever notice how there are always those people who seem to be able to accomplish amazing things? We read about them on the Internet and follow their statuses on Instagram. Maybe they are a performer, a well-known chef, an Olympic athlete, an artist, an established author, or a gardener. Maybe they do amazing things or say profound words; regardless you sit and wait with bated breath to see what they will do next. Guess what? They really aren't any different than you or I. Sure, maybe they can sing better or paint better or write better or make us laugh or cry more, but they are still just other human beings. We all have our own insecurities and our own strengths. 

Sometimes it's nice to have the things we do get noticed, but that isn't always why we do what we do. We write or garden or sculpt or run because it makes us happy. We may not be the best at it, but we put our best into what we are doing. If someone else likes it or feels encouraged by it, that is great ... that is a bonus.

Simplicity is about being authentic. Do what you like to do; what makes you feel good about yourself, and just do your best. Often times the ordinary is just one small step away from becoming extraordinary. Everything you do matters; to you and to those around you. We don't always realize it when we're singing that special song or planting the colorful garden for others to admire or creating that one-of-a-kind art piece that will make someone look at it with awe ... that we've turned our gift or talent into something someone else thinks is amazing. Any God-given talent we have should never be wasted. We need to honor the gift and share it.

So, focus on the things you do that you think are ordinary ...believe in them and in yourself and you may be surprised by the end result. You may start to notice all of the amazing things you've already been doing.

Who do you admire and why?

What do they do or say that affects you?

Unsolicited Optimism

We all have those days when we are feeling a bit stressed or overwhelmed. We try to deal with everything we are dealt with on our own. We often convince ourselves that if we can't keep up we must be weak, but realistically we all need a little help. Okay ... sometimes a lot of help. It's not always easy to keep up with the unpredictable curve balls that life seems to throw at us.

Sometimes to get through things we need a hug, or an encouraging cup of tea with a friend, or even a big bowl of ice cream (sea salt caramel usually works). Often though we just need a momentary distraction to help us regain perspective and strength. Surprisingly what helps the most is a dose of unsolicited optimism. Optimism and positivity are free and can be just what the doctor ordered. Sometimes it can even come from the most unexpected source; that's when it can feel like a successful intervention.

I had one of those days earlier this week; I had to take care of some unexpected family matters and was worn out (both mentally and physically from not sleeping). I had an opportunity to attend a BUNCO night for the ladies of my church. I planned to go and then almost talked myself out of it. I wasn't feeling social or upbeat and really didn't feel like talking, but decided to go anyway. One of the ladies that I occasionally talk to gave me an unsolicited giant dose of optimism and positivity. I certainly wasn't expecting it which made it all the nicer of a gesture. She was genuine and sincere and told me she liked my newest hairstyle. Crazy right? After a rough couple of days, how my hair looked was pretty far down on my list of priorities, but her compliment made me feel good. Then she told her sister about the pictures she'd seen of my summer flowers and how pretty and inviting my back patio looked. Wow! All these unexpected compliments from someone who didn't know I was feeling overwhelmed or down and could use a mental boost. 

Once again it goes to show the power of words. I know I say it all the time; that words have the power to build someone up or just as easily to tear them down, but it's so true. Saying something nice to someone may be just what they need at that moment. You don't need to know what they're dealing with. You don't need to have the answers they are looking for. You don't need to be able to fix anything. By just being upbeat and nice you are doing something special, you are giving them something they don't have at that particular moment. It doesn't take ANY planning on your part, not even extra effort. Just be nice. Keep it real. Open a door for someone at the grocery store. Tell a parent that they should be proud of their child because their child just picked up and returned a $5.00 bill to the elderly man who dropped it. It will let the child know that good deeds don't go unnoticed and it will let the parent know that they are doing a good job raising their child. Maybe that parent is feeling overwhelmed and raising the child all on their own. Maybe your sincere compliment is the reinforcement they needed that day.

As usual I have no answers on how to fix the world's problems, merely observations and experiences to share.

When was the last time someone caught you off guard with a nice comment or gesture? 

How did it make you feel?

It's Okay To Push Yourself

Sometimes our lists of things to do can be daunting. There's always outdoor work that needs to be done at home. There's an  'IN' box at work that is almost always full. Even the magnetic notepad on the side of the fridge for the next trip to the grocery store ALWAYS seems to have something written on it. There are days when you might want to just collapse when you get home and say 'enough is enough', but then you push yourself to do one or two more chores before you call it a night.

Why do we always have something to do? Great question; probably because we write our own To Do lists (at least that's been my problem). I am a glorified, semi-professional list-maker! I always have things to tend to (but who doesn't?). My problem is that I need to trust myself to keep track of it all and hopefully not let anything slip through the cracks of a busy day. I trust myself to do my best to get everything done (in a reasonable amount of time), but I can admit that I am human. On a busy day my memory isn't going to be fool proof ... so I make lists. If I don't get something done today I will revise my list this evening and it will be there tomorrow as a reminder that it hasn't gotten done yet. And that's okay. 

We all have busy lives; whether we are young parents juggling jobs and chauffeuring little ones or whether we are older and juggling jobs, a home, and caring for aging parents ... we ALL have things that require our attention. But the truth remains the same; there are still only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. We will still only accomplish as much as time and ability (and sleep) allows for. My husband and I have been in the midst of a month-long backyard landscape overhaul. Out with the old and in the new; twenty years in a house will do that. We looked at the next step in our project and realized we had a small window of non-90 degree weather for a 48 hour period, so we tackled planting 19 shrubs! Trust me there were moments when we looked at each other's sunburned faces and dirty knees and thought, 'We're done! We can't do any more today.', but then we pushed ourselves and got it done and guess what? Today the temperature is back to 90 degrees and this stage of our project is complete.

It's okay to push ourselves when we're close to giving up; when it's the last two miles of a marathon, when three out of four walls are freshly painted, when we only have one more store to go in to finish up the Christmas shopping, or when you only have a week left of a medical treatment. When you set your goal and you see the finish line on the horizon, dig deep and just go for it. You are almost there! You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain. 

When is the last time you pushed yourself to accomplish something big? 

What was it and how did it go?

Appreciating the Fourth of July

Here we are ... the morning of the Fourth of July. Many of you will have the day off of work, but many will not. There will be retail stores open with BIG sales taking place and restaurants serving a variety of BBQ'd meats. There will be police officers, firefighters, EMTs, doctors and nurses working on our behalf and for that we should all be thankful.

How will you celebrate your Fourth of July holiday? It's already sunny and warm and we have another heat advisory in place. If you're outside today will you slather on some double digit sunscreen or perhaps grill something tasty on the BBQ? Will you ride your bike around the block, take a dip in the pool, or take a ride on a boat and watch the sun glint off of the waves? Did you put an American flag of some size (large or small) out in the front of your house to show your patriotism? Did you venture the traffic and head up north or decide to keep things simple and quiet and stay at home?

Aah ... so many choices. However you choose to spend your day I hope that you relax a bit. Try not to do chores today, but rather take the day to unwind and reflect. At some point today many of you will hear the Lee Greenwood version of 'God Bless the USA' on the radio. If you're like me you will still get chills when you listen to the lyrics.

Don't get so caught up in the firework displays, the family gatherings, or the commercial hoopla that you forget about the true meaning of the 4th of July holiday. Independence Day, also referred to as the Fourth of July or July Fourth, is a federal holiday in the United States commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776. Many brave people gave sacrifices and paved the way for our freedoms, many of which we take for granted. Whether it is today or any other day, say thank you to a veteran for all they have done for our country and for us. Let them know they are not forgotten and that they are appreciated.

How will you celebrate the day?

The Stress Of A Vacation

Earlier this week I needed to prepare a devotion for a meeting. Being that most kids are in their last week of school, I searched devotions on 'summer vacations', 'getting out of school', 'heading to the cottage', and 'summer'. I found quite a bit of inspiring stuff, but nothing that reached out and grabbed my attention. Maybe because my youngest child is now a college grad and has a full time job, I just wasn't relating to anything. Then I found one. It talked about the trouble with stopping what you are used to doing.

I certainly don't want to quote another author word for word, but there was some really relate-able stuff in the devotion that I could connect to. I felt parts were well worth sharing, even if in my own words.

It's the time of year when many people start to plan summer vacations. Most of us will admit that even if we don't often travel we still like to fantasize about it to some extent; whether you're a beach going, mountain climbing, or road trip kind of person just the thought of 'getting away and doing something different than the norm' can be recharging.

But how many of you have a difficult time once you get to your destination - sometimes it takes a day or two to just unwind and start to think about what is in front of you more than what you left behind (a job, family, responsibilities, To Do lists, etc.). Turning our brains off and allowing our bodies and minds to enjoy the moment we are in can be hard. We are more used to being on auto-pilot. When you're at the beach you may listen to the sound of the water and the crashing waves and the seagulls. How often do you pay attention and actually smell the smells and hear the sounds that are at home? We rarely give them a passing thought, other than the sounds of the neighbor's dog barking or someone cutting their lawn. Occasionally we might take a deep breath and realize that someone not too far away is barbecuing something tasty.

Sometimes we take the time away to recharge and try to temporarily turn our brains off. Sometimes we find ourselves orchestrating what we will need to do once we get back; that's not necessarily a bad thing if you're contemplating a big life change. Often we need to go some place different and quiet just so we can actually hear ourselves think.

If you are about to embark on a getaway, that's great. If you'll be at home, try to still take some personal time. As the original devotion author said, 'We have the ability to make a choice to enjoy life (on vacation or at our desk).' They also suggested that we need to focus on today and leave tomorrow until tomorrow comes. Planning and preparing is always a good idea, but worrying is a waste.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."   Matthew 6:34

I have a mini mother-daughter getaway coming up. I was allowing myself to become absorbed in the the pressures of today and tomorrow that for a moment I actually thought about and tried to reschedule our getaway for another time when I naively thought things would be less busy. I took it as a sign when the innkeeper had no other dates that would work. My husband said, 'Just go!' There will always be STUFF that tries to get in the way. Crossing my fingers (as is my daughter) that nothing does get in our way. Three nights on Mackinac Island ... here we come. Lots of walking, fresh air, conversation, reconnecting, sight-seeing, and a day dedicated just to food trolling (as my daughter uniquely calls it). Tasting a little from every restaurant we can.

I hope to come back without a headache, having rested, maybe with a little sun on my face and shoulders. I hope you have something (big or small) on your horizon as well.

Any plans? Or do I have you thinking and planning now?

Dilemmas Come In All Shapes And Sizes

Dilemmas can be overwhelming - and sometimes full of drama. A dictionary defines a dilemma as a situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives, especially equally desirable ones. Although in my opinion not all choices are desirable.

When you have to make a tough decision, how do you choose? Do you make a list of the pros and cons? Do you toss a coin? Do you ask someone you trust for advise? Do you put on a blindfold and throw a dart haphazardly at the choices pinned to a board?

Sometimes we simply have to make choices of what we are going to do next or how we are going to handle a situation ... it's not always as easy as picking between 2 new blouses to decide which one we will wear the next day. Sometimes we may be choosing between 2 job offers. We may be deciding if we're going to accept a marriage proposal or worse, get a divorce. We may need to decide if we are going to move and if so, where. So many decisions that need to be made are bigger than we are. The choice we make may not only affect us, but others as well. Wow, if that doesn't add another layer of pressure I don't know what does.

If you are like me (and I hope you aren't, lol) you play through all the possibilities and scenarios in your head ... over and over ... in 3D ... and in living color ... sometimes into the wee hours of the morning. Because who needs sleep anyway? Right?

I often wish I was more laid back like some other people I know. I wish I could ease up on the self-induced pressure and say, 'whatever happens will happen, we'll just wait and see'. Sadly, it's not in my DNA makeup to do that. No, instead I will analyze and play out all the 'what ifs' and then weigh the options and hopefully make a sound choice.

The process in itself can prove to be a dilemma. Dilemmas come in all shapes and sizes. Some we bring on ourselves; and others are dumped in our laps.

What's been your experience with getting through or over a stressful dilemma?

Any successful approaches you would like to share?

Change The View To See Clearly

Lately I've had a difficult time conveying what's on my mind and putting it into words. Don't get me wrong, I've always got thoughts in my head and words spinning around. My problem is that I can get distracted very easily. I have a room in my house (my son's old room ... don't worry, I didn't kick him out or anything ... he got married and has his own house now); I worked hard to transform this room into a place that was serene.  A place where I could have a writing desk for blogging and a comfy chair for reading. But somehow I let MY special place get away from me. Over the last several months I allowed my space to become a dumping ground; no one did it to me ... I allowed it to happen.

I suddenly found the corners filled with a pile a mail to go to my son's the next time I saw him, a basket full of catalogs that were meant for my mom but being forwarded to my address since she now resides in a nursing home, a bag of snacks and items to go with me on my weekly visit to see her, etc., etc. 

My life has changed a lot in the last year or so, new and increasing responsibilities have been added to my plate. My day, just like everyone else's, sadly still just has 24 hours. There never seems to be enough time to accomplish all the things I have to do, let alone create extra time for blogging and doing some of the things I want to do - things I need to do. 

The piles in my room, like the responsibilities, had become distractions that were keeping me off balance. I needed to reclaim that balance, it wasn't feeling healthy anymore. I can't necessarily eliminate the responsibilities, but I could get rid of the piles! The 'stuff' in my room was exactly that; 'stuff'. At the same time it also became a visible metaphor for a part of my life. The part I felt I was losing control over.

Last weekend my ever-patient and supportive husband and daughter helped me to reclaim part of my balance. We eliminated the piles, we removed the corner TV, we rearranged the furniture, and we moved a 2-drawer cabinet into the closet ... out of sight, out of mind. I can still organize my necessary paperwork, but I won't have to look at it all the time. My carpet is now clear, as well as my vision. I can sit here right now at my desk and look up and across the room. I can look out the window at my yard with green grass and tree branches gently moving in the breeze. My desk no longer faces a wall.

What has this experience taught me? That sometimes we need to change the view in order to see more clearly.

Have you experienced being 'off balance'? What was causing it? What did you do to get back to where you wanted to be?

Mother's Day: And The Day After

Yesterday many people I know celebrated Mother's Day. Some celebrated the moms they idolized, the moms they strive to be like each day, the moms many have lost, and the moms who are a best friend. I read many blog posts about celebrating moms. I read multiple Facebook tributes and viewed nostalgic photos, as well as photos of cards and flowers being received. I saw photos of family gatherings and saw a light in some eyes and many smiles. Nothing brings people together more than a celebration. But it's not about the cards and gifts or the meal that was shared ... it's about the memories that are remembered and the new ones that are made.

Personally I had a wonderful day. I was instructed to choose what 'I' wanted to do for the day. The sky was blue and the sun was shining so I chose a quiet afternoon ride in the car with my husband and daughter. We traveled north for a mere 30 minutes passing red barns, horses in the fields, and grass and trees that were finally getting green. Our destination? St. Clair (Michigan, for any of you out-of-towners that may be reading). We grabbed a hot $10 pizza, found a quiet outdoor table across the street from the water, and watched the people walking by and the small boats meandering their way slowly across the water. We chatted, we caught up on each other's lives, and we remembered those that weren't with us that day. It was quiet, it was low-key, and it was perfect - especially when my son and daughter-in-law called. We sat outside and passed the phone around; it was almost like they were there with us.

I've been blessed with a wonderful husband, an amazing son and a daughter, a perfect daughter-in-law, and two precious granddaughters. I have everything I could have ever wanted and am thankful every day.

This morning was the 'morning after'. The morning after a perfect day. So what do many moms do the day after being celebrated? They continue to love on their children. They read their little ones a story (or two or three). We laugh with them and cry with them. We feel their pain. We try to encourage them. Life goes on as usual. In my case, I viewed LOTS and LOTS of adorable photos of my granddaughters that my daughter-in-law posted to a family share site. Then after work I stopped at the pharmacy and picked up nasal spray and an allergy medication for my 22 year old daughter suffering from an allergy-induced asthma flare up.

A friend and I recently remembered a quote that said, 'A mother is only as happy as her saddest child'. How true. Just because my children are grown adults doesn't mean that as a mother I quit caring. It doesn't mean that I don't still try to help and encourage them like when they were growing up. 

Yes, today is the day after being celebrated; the day we go back to doing what we do. Tomorrow we will continue to move forward creating new memories and remembering today for the blessing that it is.

If you are a mom I hope you were celebrated yesterday. If you aren't a mom, but have served as a mentor to anyone who benefited from your experiences I hope you feel good and appreciated for the unbelievable value you have been to those around you.

How did you celebrate Mother's Day yesterday?

How do you view your successes?

Many people do things to get recognized: movie stars, pop stars, people that want reality TV shows, and people with a YouTube audience. I suppose it goes with the territory if that's the business you're in. If people don't know who you are then they won't follow up on you to see what you're planning next. It's a clear case of supply and demand. Other times people do things for the sole sake of doing something positive for their community (not for the notoriety); they run non-profits, they volunteer in their neighborhoods, they plant beautiful gardens for people to visit, or they help the elderly man who lives next door.

We all have goals and dreams of what we would like to accomplish in our lifetime. Maybe we want to run a marathon (just once), maybe we want to have more people read what we write or listen to our music. I think if we're being honest, when we're passionate about something that we do we want people to notice, we want them to be as excited about our work as we are. It's validating and we want to know that we aren't alone. 

Sure, I can tell you that I write for myself, because it helps me to process my life and all that I see in our world (good or bad) everyday. But I would be kidding myself if I didn't admit that I would also love more exposure with my writing, to be able to reach a larger audience ... not because I have a big ego and think that I'm all that and more, but because I feel so strongly about what I do. When I write it feels like I am allowing myself to be vulnerable and sharing a piece of myself, that alone can be a scary feeling. What if people don't like what I write about? What if no one cares? But we can't dwell on the negative 'what-ifs'. If we did that we would never get anywhere. 

We need to keep our goals personal; do what we do for the right reasons. If we do that, only good things can happen. People will notice; they'll be intrigued and they'll ask questions, they'll talk about it with someone else, they'll SHARE a Facebook post or a website, and people will start to notice the genuineness of your work. It won't happen over night. There are no easy routes or short cuts. Hard work, diligence, honesty, and integrity in your work are what will get it noticed.

As busy as our world gets and as busy as we each get dealing with the responsibilities of our own lives, we need to remember that life is a two-way street. If we want people to support what we pour our hearts into then it's only right to know that we need to return that favor. Start to pay attention more to the young mom who is standing in line with three little kids; open the door for her and tell her she is doing a great job. If you have a good waiter at a restaurant, don't take them for granted. Make conversation with them as 'the person they are' and let them know you appreciated their good service. When you hear someone playing the guitar or singing in church on a Sunday morning, tell them afterward how good their music made you feel. When you read something online (Facebook, Instagram, etc), LIKE someone's post and most importantly SHARE it. That's the only way their work will spread.

What is your passion that you're trying to share with the world?

How can we help get the word out?

The Search Continues

Everyone I talk to you lately seems to be on edge about the weather. We feel like spring should be here, along with its sunny skies and warmer temperatures. Instead we've continued to experience rain, snow, icy roads, sleet, cold temperatures, and blowing winds. Do I sound like a broken record? I think so.

A lot of people are complaining, as if that will help or even make the sun come out any sooner including a certain weatherman out of Grand Rapids, MI. You know people are getting tired of the same old forecast when the weatherman goes on an on-air rant about how his co-workers are cranky and starting to blame him, etc. He was feeling a lot of weight on his shoulders and apparently a lot of blame. Negativity can take its toll on anyone.

Personally, I feel like I've been monitoring the Weather Channel app on my phone a lot more lately, as if I can point to the sky and say, 'Stop snowing, my app radar isn't showing any precipitation!' However, watching and waiting for the app forecast to change also gives me hope ... hope that the temperatures will climb up and surpass 50 degrees, hope that the sun will come out and stay, and hope that there will begin to be a pattern of weather niceness. Hope can go a long way in lifting someone's spirits.

I have no doubt that spring will come. It may be short once it arrives and we may breeze right through it and go straight to summer, but it will come. With it will come a sense of excitement, a certain thrill, a certain anticipation of good things; not to mention I will be happy to pack away my wool socks, my boots, my winter coats, and my neck scarves. In their place will be sandals, sneakers with no socks, short sleeves, and baseball caps. Yes, lots of good things will come.

What are you most looking forward to with spring and summer?

Where is spring?

Lately the consensus seems to be that Mother Nature is playing a cruel joke on us. It's April 10th and we woke up to snow again this morning. Understandably we usually get some sort of snow here in Michigan during the first week of April, but many people seem to feel like Old Man Winter is just hanging on and won't let go. Maybe it's because Easter was on April 1st this year? Maybe it's because, as usual, the department stores have had shorts and bathing suits in the stores for weeks? Our minds are telling us it should be warmer outside. We really shouldn't be surprised to have snow, but enough is enough. I think we are all ready for spring to arrive. Personally I would be happy with wearing a lighter weight jacket and perhaps skipping the boots. I'm ready to show off my painted toenails, lol.

Even the Bible says there is a time and a season for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). All seasons have their own unique purpose; each is beneficial, but it's time to move from winter to spring. It's time for our spirits to be uplifted. We are ready for the grass to get green, the buds on the trees to begin to blossom, and the plants to be able to reach their little heads up and out of the soil.

While there is a lot of beauty in the glittering snow; a freshness and sense of calm ... there is also a feeling of newness and life in the colors and warmth of spring. Hopefully Mother Nature will cooperate and kick the spring season into gear. I know I'm ready. Are you?

What are you most looking forward to about spring?

Clear To Move Ahead

Every where you look on the roads there are orange construction barrels; obstacles at almost every turn. You try to get from point A to point B, but have to be creative with your routes, as well as your time. Obstacles, though, aren't just on the roads. They seem to present themselves in our daily lives too.

If you're like me, you have goals and well thought out plans of how to get there ... or so we think. It's become almost expected that a plan B should be in your back pocket (just in case). A portion of nearly every Saturday for my past few months has been spent working on a specific project; not a project I choose or enjoy, but one that needs to be done every year regardless. Everything else gets put on hold until 'the project' has been completed. Today is that day; the day I get the 'all clear' to move ahead. The moment I get to see the light at the end of my proverbial tunnel.

This week, for me, is all about feeling like I am finally moving forward. Four weeks ago today I had surgery. Life has returned back to normal, but in some ways my plans were put on hold. Having the energy I needed to get through my days ... on hold. Wanting to exercise and take walks because the spring weather has been starting to show its face ... on hold. Feeling motivated ... definitely on hold. Today has been a good day; the day I feel like the flight attendant has just announced 'you are now free to remove your seat belt and move around the cabin'. I must admit that it's a good feeling; a feeling that is overdue.

What projects have had you feeling weighed down?

Have you been able to conquer them?

What would you like to do now with a your spare time?

Where does the time go?

Where does the time go? How many times a day do you ask yourself that simple question? How many times have you not been able to discover the answer, lol? 

As adults, many of us will reflect back and recall how simpler times were when we were younger. There weren't as many distractions, not as many responsibilities. Although, the responsibility part just comes with age. Our kids will probably say the same thing in 20 or 30 years. 

When I was a kid most families were a one-income family; meaning mom was usually there to fix you lunch on a summer day. We would go outside to ride our bikes and play as soon as the breakfast dishes were done. We would come home at lunchtime or call home (from a landline) to see if we could stay over at a friend's house. We played OUTSIDE all day; if it rained we played games under the covered front porch or in a fort in someone's backyard. Sadly, I hardly ever see kids outside riding their bikes anymore. Somewhere along the line kids found it more interesting to stay in and play video games and watch Netflix (please note I have nothing against Netflix, but everything should be in moderation). And sadly, many parents seem fine with that. But I can also admit that things are different today than when I was a kid. A lot of families have two incomes (although, some are lucky to work from home) which means that time needs to be divided differently.

Time is a funny thing. It can creep by at a snail's pace or it can go by in the blink of an eye.

I often find myself wondering ...

• When did my kids grow up to be adults? I can look at their baby pictures and feel like it was only yesterday.
• Has my family really lived in our house for nearly 20 years? That's the longest I've EVER been in one place.
• Have I really been at my same job for 17 years? It sure doesn't seem like it.
• When did the grey hairs start being the norm? (that's an obvious one, lol ... after my kids made it through their teenage years and college)

Some days I find myself wishing things could slow down a bit (okay, a lot). It seems like we grow up thinking things will be better when we're older, then the responsibilities smack us in the face and we work ... all the time. We're always planning for our future, so much so, that it's easy to forget to stop and smell the roses (or you fill in the metaphor). There comes a point you have to say, 'What the heck.' Take that vacation. Read that book you've been putting off. Work on that hobby you never have enough time for, but is supposed to help you relax and sleep better. Write that book or run that race. None of us have guarantees on how much time we have left on this earth to do anything, so we need to start making the time.

Take a 5 minute break, grab a cool drink, find someplace quiet where you can actually hear yourself think, put your phone away, and decide what you don't want to miss out on. Then, make it happen!

What have you not had time to do, but really want to?