86,400 Seconds

Time is a funny thing; it can speed by at times, while other times it seems to drag by. Often we look at a hectic week and wonder where we will find enough time to get everything done. Other times we are waiting in anticipation for a vacation or a special event and it seems like the day will never come.

If you break it down and do the math you'll find that there are exactly 86,400 seconds in a single day. That sounds like a HUGE number, certainly more than enough time to do something positive and productive; certainly enough time to make a concentrated effort and make a difference.

Take an honest moment and reflect back on what you've done in the last 86,400 seconds. Or better yet, what didn't you do that you would have liked to have done?

Like many other people, my last two weeks have been a whirlwind. I've been to two funerals, I've worked a full time job, I've cooked (at least once or twice, lol), I've grocery shopped, I've cleaned, I've run errands, I've been a wife and a mother, and I've found myself being a lot of things for a lot of other people. Today I finally made some time for me (well, after I went to the bank and the Secretary of State office). I ran some 'me' errands then invited my sweet husband to play hookie with me for a few hours. We went to Little Caesars for a dine-in $5.00 pizza, talked about serious and non-serious stuff, watched a musical YouTube video on my phone, and just sat at the corner table for over an hour. Then we perused the garden patio pot display at a local store, made a trip through Best Buy for a phone charger, and ended up scouring through the CD bin (talked about a nostalgic walk down memory lane ... we finally settled on seven CDs). We wrapped up our afternoon splurge with a quick run into Sam's Club where he bought me flowers. The nicest part of the my afternoon? The company, of course ... but we never looked at our watches, we just enjoyed the time we spent together.

While I may not recall everything I accomplished in my last 86,400 seconds, I know what I did for the last 10,800 seconds. I made each and every one of them count. I made an effort to notice them.

We all have days and weeks where we have a hard time keeping up with the demands, let alone finding time for any quality sleep. When you can, be sure to make time to take care of yourself. I'm the first to admit that I have a difficult time practicing what I write about sometimes, but I am a work in progress. I plan to keep practicing until I get it right.

So what have you done with your last 86,400 seconds? 

What will do with the next 86,400?

Spring Forward?

Spring Forward! I've been reminded all week that tomorrow night we need to adjust our clocks for Daylight Savings Time. I don't know about you, but I am wishing I would have had an extra hour of sleep rather than losing another one. Sadly, sleep hasn't been in my repertoire lately. Having a lot to do and a busy schedule is pretty much the norm in my life, but lately it's been something else.

I've been trying to focus more on my personal life goals, my family, my job, my writing, and of course trying to carve out a few minutes here and there just for me (like my Tuesday night Zumba class). I've discovered that a person's soul can get pretty drained when it's being ignored and not properly nurtured. Stress and responsibilities have a way of becoming all too consuming.

I've also discovered that for me, at least, life's obstacles are what actually get in the way of me living my life the way that I want. It's those responsibilities that seem to double and triple some weeks. It's the snowy and icy weather, it's the working late some days, it's the heavy traffic that makes your commute longer; it's a lot of little things. We've all learned by now that some things are completely out of our control and not taken on by choice; providing elder care, getting sick, worrying about the welfare and health of friends and family, blowing a tire on an infamous Michigan roadway, or having someone deliver the wrong mattress when you're in desperate need of sleep (that could be a whole other blog post).

These obstacles are nothing more than distractions though. They come and they'll go. Unfortunately, while they're in your presence they can lead to unhealthy nervous snacking, any attempt you have for a peaceful night of sleep, your attitude changes, and definitely your motivation (or lack of it).

So how do we get back on track when we feel like we're slipping into a slump? Slumps can be tricky; they can affect us physically, as well as mentally. How do we try to reclaim what is ours? Our time ... our happiness ... our ability to be productive and creative? I wish I had the exact formula, trust me. But sadly, you and I aren't any different. We all get thrown the occasional curve ball. We all have to tackle unwanted situations. We all have days when we feel like to need to play referee. We all have to deal with unwanted illnesses and sometimes sudden loss.

I think the biggest thing we can do is allow ourselves to be humble. Life isn't meant to be handled alone. Whether you have your faith, a supportive family, or friends who you know you can count on ... you have what you need to tackle the tough patches. It's much easier to work through and over an obstacle when you have someone to talk to. Bounce ideas off of them and be open to a fresh perspective. Maybe they can help us see what we can't. Maybe they can help motivate us. Maybe they can remind us that we are not alone, exactly when we need to hear it most.

The next time you find life's obstacles getting in the way of you actually living the life you want, take a step back. Take a fresh look at the big picture. Ask yourself what's stopping you from getting to where you want to be. Know in your heart that this current obstacle shall pass and be nothing more than a distant memory and a reminder of just how strong and resilient you really are.

What's been stopping you lately from living your life?

What Is Your Mountain Made Of?

Sometimes I see pictures of people attempting to climb rock walls. I hear about people who scale various mountain ranges to get to the top. Part of me admires their sense of adventure and their agility skills; the other part of me thinks, 'Why in the world would they take such risks?' Is it an adrenaline rush? Is it them trying to conquer their fears? Do they even have any fears? Human nature can be a really interesting thing to try to understand; TRY being the key word. I don't think I will ever fully understand why people do some of the things that they do.

What things are there in your life right now that feel like the mountain you are trying to conquer?

• a struggling relationship; whether yours or someone close to you (sometimes watching someone you love struggle can be pretty hard on you)
• an unexpected illness that you're being forced to deal with 
• a transition of some sort; financial perhaps or a career choice
• dealing with elder care

What has rocked your boat or turned your world (as you know it) upside down?

What effects is it having on you? Does it have you feeling overwhelmed? Have you lost your appetite or have you snacking a little too much because you're nervous? Are you laying awake at night worrying about all the what ifs and playing out all the possible scenarios in your mind? Are you worrying about things that you know you have very little control over? Do you find yourself wishing that if you only polished your crystal ball just a bit more, that maybe you'd find some of the answers you're so desperately looking for?

In a perfect world we could just Google our answers, but that's not reality. We can't just type our situation into our phone or ask Alexa to fix things. We need to deal with whatever life throws at us head on, with every ounce of inner strength and courage we can muster up. Sure, there are going to be days (lots of them) when we feel like we are being non-productive; taking one step forward and two steps back. But if we can find a way to turn our weaknesses (our fears, our doubts, and our unanswered questions) and turn them in to our strengths ... we may just get where we need to be.

We need to ask ourselves what it is that we really want and what exactly is holding us back. Do we have any control left in the situation? Do we have options? If we do, we need to go for it. Even if we think our chances are slim, I think it's always better to fight for ourselves than to give in and sit by waiting for someone or something else to dictate our future to us.

What's the worst that can happen? We try, but we fail? That's okay. It means we learn from our mistakes and our misfortunes and get back up and try again tomorrow. We talk to whoever will listen, we listen for ideas and suggestions, and we keep trying. We don't give up.

Decide what your mountain is made of and then decide if you can go through, over it, or around it. The important thing to remember is that rock wall climbers and those that tackle the mountain tops are generally never alone. Someone usually has their back. And someone has yours; your family, your friends, and our God.

Go for it ... you've got this! Let us know what we can do to help.

Don't Judge

How often do you feel invisible, manipulated, or without a voice? There are so many times I witness people being bullied or told what to do; whether it's when watching the TV news, reading an online article, or standing in line at the grocery store. Some people like to feel superior, but to do so they need to make someone else feel inferior first. They feel they need to shout and talk loudly at people in order to be heard, even when they are standing right next to them. They're trying to manipulate the situation. When climbing up on to their pedestal to be seen, they need to push others out of the way or down in order to get where they feel they should be.

For all of the cruelty I see in the world; the hatred, the jealousies, and the ignorance ... I also see hope. I see people holding doors open for strangers, I see people giving hugs to show their support, and I see people stopping to listen and pay attention to people. I prefer to hang on to the hope. It helps me to maintain my faith in a world that is currently full of power trips and insecurities.

Let's take a minute and focus on the ignorance. Being ignorant doesn't necessarily make a person dumb, but it does mean they are uninformed. They don't have all the answers; they haven't stopped to look at the whole picture, yet they've managed to find a way to unfairly place blame or judgment on someone or a situation. 

How many times have you been criticized for something you weren't even part of? How many times have you worked hard at something only for someone to generalize what you do as if even a monkey to do it. They make unfair assumptions without ever knowing you or even what you do. We need to remember to NOT judge what's on the surface, especially when we don't have a clue what's beneath it or behind it. Knowledge is a great thing. It enables us to be more understanding, more empathetic, and more aware. Sure, it may take us a little bit more time to become informed, but I'd consider that time well spent if it helped me to not be ignorant or make false judgments.

As usual, it's just my two cents worth of wisdom, but wisdom comes from experience and learning life lessons the hard way.

Thoughts?

Protecting Your Spirit

We are now twelve days into a the new year. Many have successfully set goals for themselves. Many have already broken their resolutions. Where do you stand? Are you starting out the year knowing what you want and where you want to be?

Each year I begin by hoping for clarity; trying to decide exactly where I see myself and most importantly, what will it take for me to get there. What kind of effort and commitment will I need to garner up? Do I see myself ten pounds lighter? Do I see deeper and growing relationships with my friends? Do I see new projects on my horizon?

Lately, what I've been striving for is reclaiming my strength. I see myself stronger; in body, mind, and spirit. That's no easy task, for sure. It's a very complicated process. I need to take better care of my body. I need to succeed more at reducing stress. And most importantly, for me, is learning to nurture my spirit. My spirit is what drives me more than anything else. It's that voice inside of me that pushes me to try harder, to walk further, to be more creative, and to learn to trust my instincts more. There are always going to be more voices telling us why we can't or shouldn't do something, that we aren't good enough, and that we don't have anything valuable to offer. We need to learn to drown those voices out more with the voice of strength that lies inside each one of us. Some days the voice of my spirit is nothing more than a whisper, but some days it wants to shout loud enough to shake the walls. Those are the days when I have to stop and pay attention.

It's okay to try to achieve things that other people think are silly or impossible. It's okay to go after what makes you happy and whole. I'm learning that sometimes it's even okay to put yourself first.

Putting yourself first ... that's the trickiest of them all, especially if you have relationships with other people. Being a wife - I try to be supportive to my husband. Being a mom (and it doesn't matter how old your kids are) - we worry about them. Being part of a care giving team - there are always lots of unexpected stresses. Being an employee - you try to always put your best effort forward. There are always the same number of hours in a day, but sometimes the demands we're dealt exceed the amount of time we have, leaving nothing left over for us. Our spirit needs to be supported as well; I'm discovering that the weaker my spirit is, the less I have to give to everyone else.

So ... my goal for this year? To improve my body, challenge my mind, and protect my spirit.

How are your goals going so far? 
Anything I can do to be supportive?

Out With The Old

Tomorrow is the last day of 2018. It feels like it is time to write the obligatory New Year's Eve blog post; something about whether or not to make a resolution or set a goal. Truth be told; I'm just not feeling it this year. Don't get me wrong; I like to set goals for myself, I just don't like the added pressure of setting my calendar to it for January 1st. Our lives aren't that good at sticking to timetables; at least mine isn't.

I tend to spend my New Year's holidays reflecting on what was successful for me during the last 12 months and what needs some work. Some years the list is pretty lopsided, some good some not so much. For me 2018 had many blessings; another year of good health, two healthy granddaughters who make me laugh, a wonderful and supportive family, and a very productive summer of heavy labor redoing our backyard landscaping. Like a lot of people I know, 2018 also brought with it some changes and some unwanted stresses. I guess that puts a lot of us in the same boat.

So what does that mean for 2019? Great question, I think. For me and others that I know, we are in a place where we're trying to accept and understand some of the changes that we've been facing. We're trying our best to gain some clarity to see if we merely need to concede and accept the changes we're being handed or if we still have a voice in what we want to see happen. Some will say that we always have a choice and in some situations that may be true, but not all the time. Some times the changes are going to happen with or without us. Some times the best we can hope to achieve is to decide if the changes work for us or whether it's time we go in a different direction and charter our own course.

No two people's situations will be the same, which means no two plan of attacks will be the same. What works for some may not work for others. That's where the clarity comes in; being able to look at our own lives and decide what we are looking for and what fits best is obviously very personal (as it should be). We need to take ownership of our own choices; whether they seem logical or make sense to anyone else really doesn't matter.

New Year's Eve is tomorrow and whether or not you choose to set a goal of losing 10# in 2019 or work more on a personal relationship - the choices are all yours. You get to decide. You get to take ownership of your own future. You get to decide what makes you happy or what doesn't.

Do you make New Year's resolutions? Do they work for you?

Do you prefer to reflect on where you've been and where you want to go?

Regardless, 2018 is drawing to a close tomorrow and a new year is on our horizon. I guess, if nothing else, it's fair to say, 'OUT WITH THE OLD AND IN WITH THE NEW.'

Happy New Year!

Taking Time To Enjoy The Holiday

It's that time of year, just before Christmas, when it's very easy to get stressed. Some would say that the holiday season has snuck up on them and they aren't prepared. They haven't had time to shop or bake or write out cards or decorate their tree. Funny thing is that Christmas comes at the exact same time every year. I'm not sure why people act surprised that's it's only a week away. It's not like those birthdays that fall in the few first days of the month and you accidentally forget about them until you flip your calendar page over for the next month. No ... Christmas falls on the 25th of December, just like it did last year and the year before that and the year before that. 

Truth be told, for me, it's not the holiday itself that gives me stress. I started my shopping this year way ahead of time, so I could do it in small increments. I bought my Christmas cards in October and had them written out, stamped, and ready to mail before December 1st. With Thanksgiving coming a little early this year we had our outdoor lights up (thanks to Mother Nature being reasonable) and our indoor tree up and decorated by Thanksgiving. I was feeling ahead of the game. No last minute holiday scrambling for me this year, lol. 

For me it's the other 'stuff' that gives me the stress. I try to be proactive and handle it the best I can; some is avoidable and some is not. I have certain things to take care of for my mom who's in a nursing home (her Christmas open house, her holiday shopping for the nursing staff, and her annual paperwork needed for the State). It's the extra work load at work trying to plan ahead and do 2 1/2 weeks of work in one week so that I can be home between Christmas and New Year's. Things still need to get done; other people rely on it, but it also makes for a lot of long hours. 

Every year I find myself feeling overly stressed and tired around the holidays, but it's not usually because of the holidays. Every year I seem to need my mammogram at the end of the year, but this year decided to postpone til January, along with my annual physical. Mammograms aren't always a big deal, but when you're a breast cancer survivor who was originally diagnosed during the holidays it's always stressful.  Right now, though, I am carving out this little bit of time for myself to sit on the couch with my laptop; no TV, no music, the tree lights are on illuminating the room ... just me and my thoughts and a plan to put them into words. Trust me, I have enough on my mind as it is without storing up blog post ideas, too!

How do you handle the holiday season? Is it all twinkle lights and Christmas cookies, or do you just want to go to bed early some nights so you can store up the needed energy to get through the next day? Is your plate overflowing with responsibilities? Do you feel a bit sad or overwhelmed? Whatever you are feeling, it's perfectly okay. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. Don't put any unneeded pressure on yourself. Do what you can when you can. If something doesn't get done, that's okay. It'll be there when you're ready to get back at it.

Try to put your own needs at the top of the list when you can, even if it's only for a night. Fix yourself a cup of tea and turn on a Hallmark movie (don't judge me, Hallmark always helps me disengage from the responsibilities of life and escape for 2 hours ... if I'm lucky enough to fall asleep I don't even mind because I know all Hallmark movies will have a happy ending).

As the Christmas holiday quickly approaches my hope for you is that you find contentment, you spend time with friends when you want or need company, but always make time for yourself to be quiet when that's what you need. Sometimes the festivities can help us feel social, but other times it can be overwhelming. I hope your holidays are all that you want them to be.