What do you miss most this summer?

So far 2020 has been unlike any other year I remember in my lifetime. Covid-19 has turned the world upside down causing physical upheaval, emotional stresses, and economic uncertainties. As I was sitting at my desk last week I realized we are now in our 18th week of 'officially' dealing with this pandemic. People where I live have either stayed home, worked from home, been laid off of their job, temporarily home-schooled their kids, worn face masks to go out, stocked up on Lysol spray or Clorox disinfectant wipes, cleaned their groceries before putting them away, gone back to work (but in a different way), taken up after dinner walks or bike riding, viewed their weekly church services through live streams on Sundays, or learned to master Zoom or Facebook video chats. When all of this became real for me was in mid-March. Eighteen weeks ago none of us thought we would still be dealing with all of this now. Scary and uncertain times, for sure.

We've sped right through spring and are now half way through our summer. I heard one person say they were ready to put out the pumpkins, hand out some Halloween candy, start putting the Christmas lights up, and fix a full turkey dinner this weekend ... just so we could speed through the rest of 2020 and be done with it. I think many of us are ready to start fresh.

It's mid-July and truth be told some people are frustrated that they've had to cancel vacation plans that they had been thinking about since last year. Getaways, day trips, family reunions, and seeing extended family members are often put off until the summer when the kids are out of school and the weather is good for traveling. I asked my readers on my Facebook page what they missed most this summer. Their answers ranged from 'going to people's houses and hanging out', 'missing things that were not at their house', 'cancelled trips', 'festivals', to 'feeling uncertain about decisions to venture anywhere ... constantly second guessing what to do and how to do it'. 

Yes, this pandemic has taken its toll on many of us in different ways; some physically, emotionally, spiritually, or financially. People need human interaction. People crave fresh air and the warmth of the sun on their skin. People yearn for conversation. Sure, some people do fine being cooped up and being away from other people, but not everyone. I've lived in my house for 20+ years and have seen more people walking dogs past my house in the last 4 months than in the first 20 years combined. 

We, as a society, have found that we need to be flexible with how we do things right now, but more importantly we've found that we need to be creative with our time. I've had friends that have cancelled their trips to Europe that had been planned for the last year. I've seen people buy bicycles and backyard pools or new BBQs. We are strong and don't give up easily. If I need to wear a mask right now when I leave my house, so be it ... at least I am getting out and going somewhere or doing something. I will admit, I have better days and I have worse days. It's been 5 months since I have physically seen or hugged my granddaughters. That's been the hardest thing for me.

Our lives have many seasons; besides just the four that are reflected on our fridge calendars. We will deal with loss, with sickness, with a broken heart, a financial stress, gain unwanted weight, and a job search. BUT we'll also deal with seasons of strength, of hope, of dreams, and of longing. We'll get through this summer, just like we did our spring. Our summer may look different than those in the past, but perhaps next summer we'll look back at all the family time we had, the exercise we got, the number of closets we organized, and in my case the number of adult paint by number canvases I either bought or completed, lol.

Hang in there and make the most of it!

I Can Still See The Light

Sometimes (as of late) the days and weeks have become dark with stresses, fears, and concerns. People always tell you to 'hang in there'; that you'll find the light at the end of the tunnel. But often people have a difficult time finding the light or at least staying focused on it.

The last few months have had a lot darkness and uncertainties in them. Having our Stay Home Stay Safe orders start to loosen up came at a good time. People needed some light. People needed to be reminded of their happiness and joy. We can only take so much doom and gloom, before we start to feel like we're being pulled in.

On Mondays I participate in a Zoom meeting called 'Motivation Monday'. I've come to rely on this group to listen to people I know and people I am getting to know; to hear their input and help lift each other up by sharing their insights, their goals and their hopes. But this past Monday was the first session that I missed. I had a day off and decided to drive to see my daughter and her girlfriend about an hour away. It was a gloriously beautiful day with sunshine and blue skies and temperatures hovering around 75 degrees. Perfect weather for a little gardening. I showed up with my outside shoes, a change of clothes, and my bucket of gardening tools ... prepared for a little sweat. We came up with a

plan and dug in, literally. We dug out an overgrown ugly shrub and replaced it with a thriving Hydrangea bush. We planted Lavender and Sage, as well as some colorful annual flowers. I planted a sunny yellow Zinnia in a bright blue pot for the front porch. I pulled some weeds and got things watered. Then proceeded to the back yard. I dug up an overgrown perennial, thinned out a few others, and planted a beautiful lavender colored Delphinium. Added some multi colored annuals and rearranged a few plants. The finishing touch? I hung a wind chime from the tree in the corner.

After months of feeling cooped up, it felt good to do something physical. It felt good to see instant results. It felt good to make someone else feel happy and excited about the work. It felt good to see the beauty around me. It's okay to acknowledge the pain or stress or anxiety in our lives .... but it's also good to take the time to soak in our own happiness and joy.

I felt like my stars had aligned ... I had the day off of work (my first vacation day for 2020), the weather was nice, an opportunity presented itself, my efforts were well received, I got to do something that makes me happy and helps me relax, I could see the efforts of my work, and I DIDN'T HAVE TO WEAR A MASK. All in all it was a glorious day.

The ironic part? The next morning I listened to the YouTube version of the Zoom meeting I had chosen to miss. It was about happiness and joy. It was about the value and importance of taking the time for yourself to do something you enjoy. It was about the value of the endorphins your body creates. It was about making yourself happy and cheering someone else up.

Guess I was more on track that I realized. Sometimes the track feels endless and often it's hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel, but for me I feel I CAN STILL SEE THE LIGHT. And that gives me hope to hang on to.

What makes you happy?

Do you remember to take some time for yourself?

What should I say?

It's been an unusual last 12 weeks. We've been dealing with the Covid-19 pandemic. We've dealt with 'Stay Home Stay Safe' orders and proper social distancing. We're dealing with major tensions in our culture. It's been a lot to deal with and think about for a lot of people. There are different opinions to just about EVERYTHING these days. Don't believe me? Check out social media (if you have the stomach for it). I've read comments full of accusations and hatred from strangers directed to other strangers, but I've also read sad comments from people directed to people they know.

Right now I've been focusing on the last 12 weeks, but MANY have been dealing with insurmountable stresses and tensions for a lot longer; declining health, financial burdens, relationship issues, racism, and so much more.

Life has become overwhelming for so many. Many of us want to help. Many of us want to understand both sides of an issue. Many of us have good intentions and want to do something positive to help. Many of us want to say the 'right' thing. So what should we do?  What should we say? I think before we speak or do anything, we need to first learn to listen.

We should never judge what we don't understand, that only makes us part of the problem rather than part of a solution. If we don't understand something, then we need to ask questions, BUT we also need to be prepared to listen. Whether we will fully agree with someone else or not isn't the point. The point is that we need to base our own views on facts, not predetermined stereotypes and ignorance.

Do I pretend to have the answers to life's big questions? Absolutely not. Sure, I have my own opinions on different things, but I generally (for the most part) keep them to myself and my inner circle rather than trying to win people over to my side just to make my side louder or bigger.

The next time you're facing something big and unpleasant (which could be on any given day), take a step back. Ask questions and try to view life or the situation from another perspective. It doesn't mean I expect you to change your opinion; you may or you may not. What I hope for is that we can all come to a consensus that we need to listen more before we react. Once we throw words out there, we can't get them back. We can all learn from our mistakes, myself included. None of us are perfect. We can ALL do better.

Have you had moments when you've reacted too fast and said something you later wanted to take back?

Were you able to remedy the situation and move forward in a more positive way?

What's Behind The Mask?

We are in our 9th week of our Covid-19 'Stay Home Stay Safe' order here in Michigan. I never thought I would be actually be typing those words. We've stayed home, we've only gone out for 'essential' things, some have worked from home, some have only gone to work and then gone straight back home, some have been homeschooling their kids, some are graduating high school and college, some are feeling anxious, and some are tired of answering the never ending 'What's for dinner?' question.

As we continue forward we are all experiencing this time of worry and restrictions in different ways; with no one person's journey being any less important than anyone else's. Many are experiencing new levels of anxiety and loneliness. Some are handling things better than others and appear calm on the outside, but we don't really know what's underneath.

It's like when we wear our masks when we are out in public. They all appear different on the surface; there are the blue medical masks, there are the colorful home-sewn versions, the bandana scarves, and the 'turtle-up' versions where people forgot their mask at home so they hunch their shoulders and pull their shirt collar up over their nose and mouth.

The next time you have to be out and see someone wearing a mask, don't just look at the mask ... look beyond what you first see and look at the person's eyes and maybe even the worry lines on their forehead. Those will tell you a lot more. Behind the masks you may find varying levels of worry, fear, anxiousness, and confusion. You might also find love, empathy, the want to help, or a friendly smile. (Full disclaimer ... I am NOT suggesting you actually pull off anyone's mask! Sad that I have to mention that.)  Be prepared and aware enough to see what is right in front of you, but also what may be behind the mask.

How have you been handling the stay-at-home orders?

Are you only sharing with people what you want them to see? Perhaps telling them what they want to hear when they ask how you are doing?

Have you been hiding your emotions?

Say 'Thank You'

Everyone is asking these days, 'How are you doing?' Stay Home Stay Safe for us in Michigan during this Covid-19 pandemic still means staying home for the most part, wearing a mask when you're out, and being very strategic when you need to go shopping ... which means not much is new so when people ask, you simply reply with, 'About the same. Not much is new.'

So what can you say (when you actually see people)? Here's a thought ... you can say THANK YOU.

You can say THANK YOU to the person who called or texted or sent you a card in the mail last week just to check in on you.

You can say THANK YOU to the person who encourages you; your spouse, your children, or your pastor who is live streaming his message online on Sunday mornings.

You can say THANK YOU to the many people working the front lines; whether that be those who work in the hospitals, the firefighters and EMTs, the police officers, the grocery clerks, or the teenagers running the curbside pick-up at the local restaurants.

Or you can say THANK YOU to whoever made you feel a little less invisible and alone this past week.

It's always easy to be so busy you don't notice the things (or the people) right in front of you, but at times like these when we are forced to slow down ... this is when we should take notice. This is when we should be reminded that what goes around comes around. When you notice someone lifting you up, you thank them, and then you think about how you can PAY IT FORWARD.

What did someone do for you recently that you want to thank them for it?

How did it make you feel?

It's A New Day

Remember the Bill Murray movie called 'Groundhog's Day'? He played a reporter who woke up every day to the same day ... the day that just kept repeating itself. For many of us, that's what it feels like lately. We've been staying home and staying safe now for more than 4 weeks. The routine is becoming very familiar; as is the daily dinner menu, the layout of the furniture, and the clothing we are wearing. About the only thing that is changing is the length and color of our hair (since the hair salons are all closed).

There have been moments when I've been glued to my social media to make sure my friends and family are doing well. Sadly there have also been moments when I am saddened and disgusted with the things people post (people I know and people I don't know). I get it. People are anxious. They are feeling antsy. In a world where we are blessed to make so many of our own decisions and choose our opportunities, many people feel 'stuck' suddenly being told what to do, where to go, what to buy and not buy, what's considered essential, that they cannot work, etc. I think, for the most part, people understand the severity of the Covid-19 situation and understand that flattening the curve is really about the only recourse we have right now. It's important that we each do our part to the best of our ability. But criticizing each other, critiquing people you'll never meet in person, and judging others doesn't help anyone's situation. Hiding behind your computer screen and typing in all CAPS and emojis, behind your locked doors doesn't make you smarter than the other guy ... it only makes you a bigger online bully (in my opinion).

Let's all take a much-needed step back and take a deep breath. Many people are now lucky enough to be working from home, but maybe they are stressing out about the self-discipline that takes (not to  mention if their spouse is now working from home too). Then there are people who are not working, but are having a very difficult time working through the government's computer systems to file for unemployment, etc. Maybe through no fault of their own they're getting rejected in the systems and trying to navigate the unwanted and unasked for scenarios. Then there's the fears and anxieties that the pandemic itself throws at us. We are all human and all deal with stresses and anxieties (and for many ... depression) differently. But let's remember to not add any unnecessary fuel to the fires. 

We WILL get through all of this and hopefully come out stronger in the end, both mentally and physically. But we need each other to lean on. We'll all have our stronger moments and our weaker ones, so let's be thankful for the support systems we have. Remember to reach out and send that extra text or email, or better yet make a phone call. Check in on each other. Not everyone has the same support system you do.

Yesterday may have been rough, but today? It's a new day and we can pray that it will be a better one.

How are you doing?

How are you coping?

Creating A Distraction For Yourself

It's hard to know what to write about when the world seems off kilter right now. Daily press briefings from the Covid-19 Task Force, press briefings from the state governor, schools closing down for the remainder of the current school year, how do people apply for temporary unemployment, etc. Questions ... everyone has questions. How long will people be working from home (assuming you're able to)? How do you get a Covid-19 test if you think you are symptomatic? Will the grocery store have what you need when you venture out of your home to go?

A lot of these questions don't have answers right now. So what do you do to keep your mind (and your body) busy while you are 'staying home to stay safe'?

I've been seeing A LOT of social media ideas ...

• post a picture of a landscape without you in it
• post a picture of a beach
• post a picture of your dog
• post a photo of you and your oldest child to see if you look alike
• play the 'I spy camera roll' game
• post the 8th photo from your phone gallery

The list is endless, with new ones popping up every day. Once we get past all of this (and we will!), we'll know more about each other than we ever thought possible. When we get past all of this (and we will!), let's post a photo of our clean cupboards or the new hat we're wearing to cover up our long overdue haircuts, lol. Things are serious enough, so I am purposely trying to keep it lighter here.

If you're looking for a hands-on project, try checking out Rainbows Over Michigan on Facebook and look through all the colorful and creative projects people have done with their kids. They ARE amazing! Decorate your window, your front door, or even your sidewalk!

What helps you relax and keep your mind busy these days? 

Hobbies? 

Taking a walk? 

Cleaning up the yard?