Trust Your Instinct

When ideas, opinions, and remedies are being thrown at you like multi-colored splatter paint the best thing you can do is stop, breathe, and evaluate. IF you are part of a creative team then you are accustomed to professional brainstorming sessions. Your boss might tell you they want 3 brand new ideas before the meeting is over, but verbal demands won't always guarantee that the creative juices will instantly flow. IF you view any sort of social media you know people in various positions will saturate the airwaves, Internet, and TVs with opinions (mostly their own). The thing about an opinion is that it is just that ... it is a personal perspective; there is no guarantee that it is right or wrong. IF you are suffering from something as minor as a physical discomfort or as major as an illness, there will undoubtedly be someone who will step forward, ready and willing to save you with their version of a remedy (perhaps medical and proven - perhaps not).

So what do you do when the ideas, opinions, or remedies are not only unsolicited, but unwelcome? First, you consider the source (Is there any real experience there? Any first hand knowledge?). You should consider the intent of sharing the information (Is it for your benefit or the one sharing the information?). Will this new information sway you in any way from your own morals, values, and personal foundation in which you base your daily mindset and more importantly; how you live your life?

If an idea doesn't sit well with you, it is probably best to sit on it for a while. That's where the stop, breathe, and evaluate advice would come in. Stop what you are doing, don't just react. It's been my experience that immediate reactions usually come from the heart, not from the brain. If you then breathe and take the time needed to evaluate the situation you may come to a completely different consensus. Your reaction will then come from your head. Trust yourself and trust your instincts. Do your research and then do what you can. There is most likely always going to be 'something' you can control about any given situation; if nothing else ... you can control your first reaction, how you will deal with the results and long term effects, or what you will take away from the situation as a future lesson.

Not all ideas are bad. Not all remedies are useless. Opinion? That can be the trickiest of the three. Not many people share their opinions just so they can hear themselves talk, yet it does happen. Someone might think I am being hypocritical because I blog. A conversational  blog, such as this one, is mostly opinion. The difference with my point is that I don't blog with the intent of changing anyone's behavior or opinion. I may ask questions, but only because I hope it will make my readers stop and think about something; whether that be how they look at a situation, how they may react when having to deal with a dilemma, or even to suggest another possible solution. In the end whatever they choose to say or do is strictly them.

As of late, we have had our share of politicians, actors and actresses, professional people, young adults, etc share their opinions in many forms for the sole purpose of trying to convince others to step over to their side, because it is different than ours. My suggestion (and again, this is strictly my opinion, lol) ... do your OWN research and form your OWN opinion and reaction. Take opinions for what they are, just that ... an opinion.

Do you find it difficult or easy to trust your instincts? Initially, do you usually react to a person or situation with your heart or with your head?

Turn Over A New Leaf

Happy November 1st! We've made it through the summer months and are cruising smoothly right through autumn. We are almost to peak color here in Michigan due to the rains, chilly days, then warmer days. As of last night Halloween has come and gone. Depending on the children traffic in your neighborhood, many adults will be running on a sugar high today as they've been sent out the door with the leftover candy.

With the seasonal change comes lower temperatures, the colors on the trees are now reds and oranges and yellows, and there's a certain sense of calm in the early morning hours. The air is crisp, there's a covering of frost on the grass and the rooftops, and there's a feeling of peace and quiet. And then another ten minutes goes by; the sunrise is just a memory and the traffic and noise begins once again.

 

For me, autumn is the season of leaves; they're colorful, they're crunchy when you walk through them, and there's the sense of peace and adventure everyone experiences when they drive down the road and the wind swirls all the leaves up into the air and around your car. For that brief moment you can just take a deep breath and enjoy the beauty of the moment for what it is.

Many people associate New Year's Day with the day you set a new goal and focus on the changes and opportunities that are presenting themselves to you in the upcoming year, BUT why not take advantage of November 1st and the glorious autumn season to TURN OVER A NEW LEAF? Why wait another two months to begin fresh and make a needed change? Why not get a jump start on improving your life by beginning today ... right now?

In another seven days the election will take place and life, as we know it, will change big time. No matter WHO you vote for and no matter which side you're on; someone will win and someone will lose. Someone will have a less than desirable moral character and someone will be considered corrupt. Both candidates will continue to bash each other and then act surprised and hurt and violated when the tables are turned. Some voters will be thrilled and others will be devastated. I will always be entitled to my own opinion and beliefs, as will you; but I can still hold firm to my own values and hope that my vote will still make a difference. Early polls and phone surveys will still try to sway potential voters and predict a winner a week before the election (which always fascinates me because in all my years of voting no one has EVER asked me who I plan to vote for; although even if they did I would tell them that was my business and not theirs, lol).

 

Yes, our country is at a pivotal point for all of us. History is about to be written and added to the books. Either we will have our first woman president or our first non-politician president. Future decisions will be made for us (supposedly with our interests being considered, but I have yet to see any real proof of that). Right now the ONLY thing I can do is cast MY vote. I will continue to listen and observe and think and ponder and HOPE that my vote and yours actually matter.

 

I am choosing to honor today by turning over a new leaf. I will hope and pray that by honoring my civic duty and voting - I will be making a difference. Yet I have the peace of mind knowing that while I may not be able to make a noticeable difference on the larger scale I CAN make a difference in my own life by living my days based on my morals and values. I can choose to live MY life by the standards I deem are important. Government may be in a position to tell me how much more I will pay for my required healthcare, how much my taxes are going to cost me, and what the economy will look like ... BUT they can never tell me not to still be nice to my neighbor, to not be a courteous driver, to not continue to try to make a difference at my job or as a parent. While the characters of most politicians may be questionable, I still get to decide my own. Whether I'm doing a good or bad job of that just shows that I am human and clearly a work in progress. It also means, on a good day, that I get to sleep at night with a clear conscious.

 

What about you? While I encourage everyone to vote in this upcoming election, I also encourage you to take the reigns on your own life. Stand back and look in the mirror. What are you happy with in your life and what do you think needs a little work? Where do you think you can improve and make a difference? Making a change requires effort and forethought; it's never easy, but definitely worth it.

 

Happy November 1st!

How Strong Is Your Passion?

I've been extremely busy with 'life' the past few weeks, but today I am attempting to take a well-deserved break. So what's on my personal agenda? Of course, some time at the library where it's quiet and the phone won't ring; although there is a tired three year old somewhere nearby letting us all know that he's done for the morning and would rather be somewhere else ... but hey, we ALL have moments like that. Then I'll be off for Taco Tuesday with my daughter for a quick lunch break and then perhaps a trip to the cider mill this afternoon with my husband (because I know if we don't go today another season will have gone by and we will have missed out on our chance once again). Sometimes we just need to put the 'lists' aside and savor the moment; I know, that's ironic coming from someone like me who always has a list with them. I guess you could say I am attempting to live on the edge today.

So what's been going on in my world lately? A lot. A fundraising project that included a dance performance recently wrapped up this past weekend, a few loose ends that still need tightening up regarding elder care for my mother, and then there's the ongoing election (something no one can seem to avoid).

Just last Sunday in church my pastor said something in his sermon about how 'you can't avoid the bad things, but you can prepare for them.' Unfortunately that is how many are categorizing this year's election. Good or bad, it will be one for the history books; the year a woman became the first female president or the year a non-politician did. There has been more mud-slinging in this campaign than with the pigs at an over-crowded 4H fair exhibit. Candidates aside, there are many voters who are disgruntled, many have become antagonistic, many have lied, many have shown their true character (or lack of it, depending on who you ask), and that probably goes double for anyone in the media or who is part of a campaign team. There has been more 'dirt' dug up on both sides that leaves many voters feeling they are left in a position of having to vote for the 'lesser of two evils'; which again will vary depending on your point of view.

Now, some may choose to comment to this blog in defense of their candidate of choice which would be ironic since I never said WHO I plan to support; so if you do make that type of comment know that I may choose how far I will allow it to go (keep it clean, keep it appropriate, and keep it relative to THIS blog post). I don't support conversations taken out of context. Social media has been flooded with personal attacks against candidates, as well as anyone who states an opinion that may differ from their own. We are all empowered to have our own opinions, I fully support that, but even one politician must concede at the conclusion of an election and for the good of our nation at least claim that they will come together and support the country going forward (for the most part). It's sad, but I've come to expect politicians, campaign managers, and the media to choose sides, wage verbal battles against the opposing side, and try to sway us to their side. I suppose that goes with the territory, but when I start reading personal Facebook, Instagram posts, etc that have strangers slamming each other down for having a different belief I am even more saddened. Why are we allowing others to dictate to us whether our personal opinion is better or worse than theirs? People will always be passionate about their families, their causes, their religions, their political points of view, etc. But when people spew off their words without thinking first they can become something they can't take back. True ... you can make a media post and sometimes delete it if you rethink things, but once you've sent an email ... it's gone. Once you've mailed a letter ... you can't get it back. Once you've said or done something ugly there's no going back for a re-do; you can apologize later, but you can't undo it, and you can't change it. Seems logical that a little more thought put into ANYTHING beforehand could be beneficial. Choosing to gain your few seconds of fame at other people's expense will never be something I can support. You may have a few people say, 'hey, way to go!' and you'll be feeling popular and important (for a moment) and you may not even care about those you insulted or stepped over for your few seconds of notoriety, but it will be your sleepless nights and conscience that you'll have to deal with ... maybe not today, but some day. We've all been there; done or said something we've regretted. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Words do have the power to build people up, as well as tear them down.

Passion can be a beautiful thing. It means you care enough about something to not keep it to yourself. That's never a bad thing; it's how you choose to act on it that becomes important. Sometimes, though, when passion comes into play, logic and common sense can fly right out the window. Relationships will be damaged, jobs and reputations can be jeopardized, and opinions will be formed. Of course, opinions and what others think of you may or may not matter to you, but if you ever plan to do something in your life where you hope people will support you  -  you may want to be careful.

Where Do You Fit Compassion In?

Compassion is a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering; at least according to dictionary.com. Compassion is about remembering other people's feelings and taking them into consideration. It's about being mindful and aware and hopefully respectful. Showing compassion in all that we do can sometimes be tricky. In our hearts and minds we feel empathetic, but if we have to answer to someone else there are things like policies and procedures that can get in the way of doing what's morally right.

 

Whatever you do professionally or personally, whatever your role is and your responsibilities are it's important to TRY to keep compassion in the equation. I see paramedics, policemen, and firemen show compassion a lot while still doing their job. I understand that getting the right balance can be difficult, but it's worth the effort when you consider the person you're trying to help.

 

If you are a boss and are about to lay someone off from their job, do it with compassion. See them as more than 'the bottom line'. Be prepared to give them a good referral or advice of who to contact for a new job.

 

If you're a doctor and are about to give a patient some bad news, keep in mind that they are a human being with feelings and not just another billable patient. I've known some amazing doctors over the years whose one-on-one communication skills are top notch.  If I have to wait for an appointment because my doctor is running behind I can only hope it's because he's taking the time needed to deal with something or someone important.  You never know when YOU might be grateful that the doctor spent a few extra moments with you.

 

In today's human race there are many moments where compassion seems to be missing. Some days I feel like the world is about nothing more than crime, politics, policies, deadlines, and bottom lines. So many bad people, bad decisions, and bad ideas. Sure, it's easier to just go with the flow and assume that everything in life is black and white, right and wrong, profit and loss, etc. But why settle for the easy way?

 

Some people may consider me a Pollyanna, but I don't care. I would much rather walk around reminding people of morals and values, and pose questions to them like, 'Is there another way we can do this?' 'Do we have any other options?' 'What can we do to make the situation a little better?' 'How can we show some more compassion?'

 

You remember the saying, 'No pain, no gain'? Well here's another one ... 'If you don't ask, you'll never know.' Maybe there's a better way out of your situation. Maybe there's light at the end of your tunnel that you just can't see right now because of all the obstacles.

 

Hang in there, wherever 'there' is. And remember that what goes around comes around. Start showing more compassion in your life and hopefully it will be returned to you tenfold.

Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda

Do you live with regrets? Are there moments when you think to yourself ... If only I had done this or that? What if I had reacted differently? It's not often life gives us a Re-Do, but we do have opportunities to learn from our actions.

 

There will always be things we SHOULD do; like exercise and eat better.

 

There will always be things it WOULD be wise to do: vote to share our voice and obey the laws and the 10 Commandments.

 

There are the things we are REQUIRED to do; get a driver's license if you want to drive and have health insurance.

 

Then there are things it would be MORALLY right to do; be loyal, be honest, and be respectful of one another.

 

There's a lot to remember if you want to live a good life that both you and God can be proud of, but we're human and we're bound to make poor choices and bad decisions and even occasionally do or say things we wish we could take back. We don't get a 'rewind' button. We need to face our choices head on and deal with any consequences. But in the midst of trying to stay on track and remember all the woulda, coulda, shoulda scenarios we need to make sure we also honor the things we WANT or NEED to do. There are things that help curb our mounting anxieties like laughter (or ice cream). There are things that help us clear our heads like fresh air and taking a walk in the sunshine. There are things that help our minds stay active like crafts, crossword puzzles, and taking time for prayer or reading a daily devotional.

 

Life is full of big decisions and difficult choices, but it also needs to be about creating a healthy balance.

 

How do you balance your life? What WOULD you do if you COULD? What SHOULD you be doing differently?

Are Morals Becoming Extinct?

Some blog topics seem to come around again ever so often. Does it mean I'm beating the proverbial drum? Gosh, I hope not. Nine times out of ten I base my blog posts on observations. Truth be told, whenever I'm seated in a room I prefer to face the door so I can be a people watcher. I find people, their reactions, and their mannerisms extremely interesting (and captivating).

 

Lately when I read Internet headlines, Facebook posts and comments, or observe someone in a store ranting loudly enough for everyone to hear their business I find myself jotting down a few words; just enough to get the creative juices flowing and my fingers typing.

 

So what's my rant (oops, I mean my 'blog topic') today? Are morals becoming extinct?

 

Morals and values are things we grew up with. Our ideals, for better or for worse, were molded by our parents, the neighbors, our teachers at school, maybe our pastor, and for sure our society. But I look around today and I wonder. What kind of job are 'we' doing; and by 'we' I don't just mean you and me, but also our society and the media. Many young people today seem to be easily swayed in one direction or another. They like to think they're expressing themselves and have life all figured out, but in reality they're just jumping on someone else's band wagon.

 

When I was a child and attended summer Vacation Bible School I learned about the Ten Commandments. As a young girl the one commandment that stood out to me then that I felt I could maybe apply to my own life referred to 'loving your neighbor' (Mark 12:31 The second is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.').

 

I see some people today (and trust me, age does not discriminate) who seem to have forgotten their values. The easiest way to honor the commandment is to treat others the way you would hope to be treated.

 

Would you like to ...

• be disrespected?
• manipulated?
• be talked about behind your back?
• have friends and family that are not loyal?
• have people lie to you?
• be cheated on or out of something?

So ... if we wouldn't like to be treated these ways, why is it okay for us to treat others like that?

Have some of our morals and values become extinct? Do they suddenly not apply to our lives 20, 30 or even 40 years after we first learned them?

 

None of us are perfect, including me, but the first step is taking the rose colored glasses off and observing ourselves. Sure, it's easier and more convenient to stand back and criticize the way others behave, but it is definitely harder to look at ourselves. They say we can be our own worst critics; how true is that? We'll never see ourselves the way others do (good or bad), but maybe it's time to start.

 

What values do you see lacking in the world today?

More importantly, how can we be part of the solution rather than the problem?

Keeping HOPE in the Big Picture

There are days when I scroll through the Internet headlines and am amazed (and appalled) with what I read. Stories about thieves who are arrogant (and stupid) enough to post their illegal endeavors on Facebook, video clips of professional athletes playing like schoolyard thugs, and politicians ... well don't even get me started on the public behavior of politicians. 

I fully support an athlete being caught up in the moment when they score a touchdown or a goal, hit a home run, or make a game-winning basket. When emotions are real you can tell, but when a touchdown is scored and a pre-choreographed silly dance is performed in the end zone it is obviously premeditated. It comes across as arrogant and showboating; definitely sets a different tone. They're grabbing the spotlight and hoping their fans will boost them up another level to a higher podium. Although, you know what they say? The higher the podium, the further you have to fall.

Whatever happened to humbleness? Whatever happened to being appreciative for a God-given talent? Of course, to be fair, I have seen award shows and heard people thank 'God' for getting them where they are and then I have to wonder if these are the 'same' people I read about on the Internet and see on the covers of grocery store tabloids. Where was God in their life when they were caught doing something less than ideal? People need to remember that with fame and exposure comes certain responsibilities. Whether they want to be or not, they are now in a position to influence other people (for good or for bad).

As parents, we try to teach our children about morals, values, the importance of being honest, and conducting ourselves with integrity. We do what we can, but in reality we can't be with our kids 24/7 (and then there is the whole debate about at what age you quit referring to them as your 'kids', lol). The way I see it, when you become a parent you are a parent for life; not until the day they turn 18, get dropped off to college, or get married. Sure, as our children become adults they will need to make adult decisions on their own about their finances, relationships, employment, etc. But as a parent, you should always be there to offer an ear to listen or just be there for them to ask advice or bounce ideas off of. While it's true that it takes a village to raise a child, we can't leave all of our mentoring to the people they're around; the people they read about or see on TV, the people they go to school or work with. We can hope though that we've given them enough of a solid foundation that they'll be able to tell the difference when people start giving them advice. We can all give advice from the couch and tell people what we think is best for them, but until we actually walk a day in someone's shoes or REALLY listen to their story we may not truly be helping.

So, where does that leave us? With HOPE. HOPE that our toddlers will learn to walk without too many bruises. HOPE that our teenagers will be safe when they get behind the wheel of a car. HOPE that our young adults won't get their hearts broken as they begin to have relationships. HOPE that everyone (not age specific) will make smart decisions about drinking and drugs. HOPE that our college grads will be blessed with jobs when they graduate. HOPE that we'll all remember to let God into our lives and our decisions. Having HOPE reminds us that none of us have to face anything alone.

Integrity: It's Not Just a Word

To some ‘Integrity’ is just a word, to others it’s a creed to how they live their lives; how they think and choose to behave. The dictionary defines ‘Integrity’ as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; a consistency of actions, values, methods, expectations … Regardless, ‘Integrity’ is a BIG word with BIG implications.

I’ve noticed that the word is thrown around, sometimes carelessly, when naming companies or often when used by politicians and other professionals. It can be a big part of advertising to make you think the company (or individual) has morals above reproach, that they’re honest, reliable and trustworthy. Search the Internet and you’ll see companies using the word to name their operating systems, banks, staffing companies, and even office supplies stores.
 

We all know that using specific adjectives in marketing and advertising is all part of the business. They’ll use certain words, certain colors, certain music scores to target certain demographics. That’s common, but don’t be swayed. Don’t fall for the bells and whistles, the glitz and the confetti. Think for yourself and let people (professionals and businesses alike) know that if they’re going to market themselves using ‘Integrity’ as a ploy, they’d better be able to back it up. If you’re like me you’re probably starting to see a lot of political signs on the roads and getting assorted handouts in the mail on an almost daily basis. It’s as good a time as any to sharpen your skills and stay alert.

Hang in there; we're in this together!