What do you do when you're disappointed?

What disappoints you?

The weather? The ending of a movie or book? Your finish in a race? A meal at a restaurant? Politicians; or just people's behavior in general?

 

How do you react when you're disappointed? If you're like most people you run through a whole mix of emotions. You may feel sadness, regret, anger or bitterness, or even a bit of guilt. The first reactions are to be expected, but why do we sometimes feel guilty? We may wonder if the person or situation that has disappointed us could have been avoided. Was it because of something we did or perhaps didn't do? Is the situation or outcome potentially any fault of ours? We'd be naïve to think that we're completely blameless in some situations. Choosing to eat that heavy dessert after dinner may not have been the wisest decision, so we need to accept some of the blame when we don't feel well later. But people are different, they definitely aren't a dessert that we chose to over-indulge in.

 

People are complex, and YES, people can make choices. If you feel disappointed by the behavior of someone step back and take an objective look before you start blaming yourself. It's fine to accept some of the blame at times, but I don't think we should automatically think their behavior had anything to do with us. Everyone has the ability to make a choice, but in doing so we should also accept responsibility for any outcomes related. If someone behaves poorly or out of character, maybe there's something else going on. Before we automatically think, 'Oh, I'm sorry. Did I do something to provoke their behavior?' perhaps we should take a deep breath and ask ourselves, 'I wonder what THAT was all about?'

 

It's normal to be disappointed; in others' behavior as well as our own. Maybe it would be more constructive and beneficial to find out the 'WHY something happened' rather than the 'WHAT happened'. We cannot change the choices people make, only our own. We may never uncover, or even understand the 'why'. We need to cut ourselves some slack. I know, easier said than done. It's hard not to want things to go smoothly or even nicely. It's disappointing when we witness people behaving in selfish or vicious ways. People will always do and say things they regret, but actions AND words have the ability to be hurtful and cannot be taken back. Someone can acknowledge what they've said or done or sometimes what they haven't (but should have). That moment can be crucial and life changing, but it's their moment to take ownership of - not ours.

 

Be supportive, be a good listener, but never allow yourself to be a doormat.

Are Morals Becoming Extinct?

Some blog topics seem to come around again ever so often. Does it mean I'm beating the proverbial drum? Gosh, I hope not. Nine times out of ten I base my blog posts on observations. Truth be told, whenever I'm seated in a room I prefer to face the door so I can be a people watcher. I find people, their reactions, and their mannerisms extremely interesting (and captivating).

 

Lately when I read Internet headlines, Facebook posts and comments, or observe someone in a store ranting loudly enough for everyone to hear their business I find myself jotting down a few words; just enough to get the creative juices flowing and my fingers typing.

 

So what's my rant (oops, I mean my 'blog topic') today? Are morals becoming extinct?

 

Morals and values are things we grew up with. Our ideals, for better or for worse, were molded by our parents, the neighbors, our teachers at school, maybe our pastor, and for sure our society. But I look around today and I wonder. What kind of job are 'we' doing; and by 'we' I don't just mean you and me, but also our society and the media. Many young people today seem to be easily swayed in one direction or another. They like to think they're expressing themselves and have life all figured out, but in reality they're just jumping on someone else's band wagon.

 

When I was a child and attended summer Vacation Bible School I learned about the Ten Commandments. As a young girl the one commandment that stood out to me then that I felt I could maybe apply to my own life referred to 'loving your neighbor' (Mark 12:31 The second is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.').

 

I see some people today (and trust me, age does not discriminate) who seem to have forgotten their values. The easiest way to honor the commandment is to treat others the way you would hope to be treated.

 

Would you like to ...

• be disrespected?
• manipulated?
• be talked about behind your back?
• have friends and family that are not loyal?
• have people lie to you?
• be cheated on or out of something?

So ... if we wouldn't like to be treated these ways, why is it okay for us to treat others like that?

Have some of our morals and values become extinct? Do they suddenly not apply to our lives 20, 30 or even 40 years after we first learned them?

 

None of us are perfect, including me, but the first step is taking the rose colored glasses off and observing ourselves. Sure, it's easier and more convenient to stand back and criticize the way others behave, but it is definitely harder to look at ourselves. They say we can be our own worst critics; how true is that? We'll never see ourselves the way others do (good or bad), but maybe it's time to start.

 

What values do you see lacking in the world today?

More importantly, how can we be part of the solution rather than the problem?