Have The Conversation

A conversation is a dialogue made up of at least two voices. Ironically, though, some people think it is about one person mentioning a topic and then someone else speaking A LOT. The second person will start out by sharing their point of view and then it's like a 'snowball down the hill' effect. They talk, then talk some more, then keep talking until the eyes of the first person start to glaze over. It tends to gain momentum as it goes. It's normal for all of us to feel passionate about certain topics, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we know what we are talking about or that we even have our facts in order. We could just be sharing our opinion disguised as fact. Yet, the inner seasoned debater can come out in all of us. We're determined to persuade the other person that our opinion is the right opinion and they should share it.

Want to know what I mean, just watch or listen to any political talk show. The seasoned anchor will do their darnedest to convince you that their point of view is the only one that matters. Now whether the opinion shared is actually theirs or their bosses remains to be determined. But that's neither here nor there.

The thing about real conversations is that if executed correctly we can actually learn more by listening than by talking. A little give and take and equal talk time can teach both parties a lot. If we only want to hear ourselves talk and never listen to anyone else we may as well just have a solo monologue in our car. Then we know we'll never have to argue because the only one listening is us. BUT, if we actually want to discover something about our character and more than just the answer to the topic, we should make a conversation more like a chess match ... make your point (or move your chess piece), then hit the buzzer, then sit back, then wait for a thought out response, wait your turn and then go again. What a concept, huh?

It's okay not to know it all. Take a chance and have the conversation. In the end, you may learn something new.

Do you have those people in your life that like to dominate the conversation? 

How do you handle it?

Trust Your Instinct

When ideas, opinions, and remedies are being thrown at you like multi-colored splatter paint the best thing you can do is stop, breathe, and evaluate. IF you are part of a creative team then you are accustomed to professional brainstorming sessions. Your boss might tell you they want 3 brand new ideas before the meeting is over, but verbal demands won't always guarantee that the creative juices will instantly flow. IF you view any sort of social media you know people in various positions will saturate the airwaves, Internet, and TVs with opinions (mostly their own). The thing about an opinion is that it is just that ... it is a personal perspective; there is no guarantee that it is right or wrong. IF you are suffering from something as minor as a physical discomfort or as major as an illness, there will undoubtedly be someone who will step forward, ready and willing to save you with their version of a remedy (perhaps medical and proven - perhaps not).

So what do you do when the ideas, opinions, or remedies are not only unsolicited, but unwelcome? First, you consider the source (Is there any real experience there? Any first hand knowledge?). You should consider the intent of sharing the information (Is it for your benefit or the one sharing the information?). Will this new information sway you in any way from your own morals, values, and personal foundation in which you base your daily mindset and more importantly; how you live your life?

If an idea doesn't sit well with you, it is probably best to sit on it for a while. That's where the stop, breathe, and evaluate advice would come in. Stop what you are doing, don't just react. It's been my experience that immediate reactions usually come from the heart, not from the brain. If you then breathe and take the time needed to evaluate the situation you may come to a completely different consensus. Your reaction will then come from your head. Trust yourself and trust your instincts. Do your research and then do what you can. There is most likely always going to be 'something' you can control about any given situation; if nothing else ... you can control your first reaction, how you will deal with the results and long term effects, or what you will take away from the situation as a future lesson.

Not all ideas are bad. Not all remedies are useless. Opinion? That can be the trickiest of the three. Not many people share their opinions just so they can hear themselves talk, yet it does happen. Someone might think I am being hypocritical because I blog. A conversational  blog, such as this one, is mostly opinion. The difference with my point is that I don't blog with the intent of changing anyone's behavior or opinion. I may ask questions, but only because I hope it will make my readers stop and think about something; whether that be how they look at a situation, how they may react when having to deal with a dilemma, or even to suggest another possible solution. In the end whatever they choose to say or do is strictly them.

As of late, we have had our share of politicians, actors and actresses, professional people, young adults, etc share their opinions in many forms for the sole purpose of trying to convince others to step over to their side, because it is different than ours. My suggestion (and again, this is strictly my opinion, lol) ... do your OWN research and form your OWN opinion and reaction. Take opinions for what they are, just that ... an opinion.

Do you find it difficult or easy to trust your instincts? Initially, do you usually react to a person or situation with your heart or with your head?