When You View A Talent As An Obstacle

Those that know me know that it is in my DNA to be organized, a list-maker, and a planner. I cannot help it, it is what I do. I've always been about being on time (although for me to be early is to be on time and to be on time is to be late, lol). I think and over think about lists, deadlines, and the consequences. I have a sense of tunnel vision; I look at deadlines as the big picture and everything that must be accomplished in order to get there. For years though I looked at my skill set as being a weakness.

I've had previous bosses come to me with a vision, a project, or a goal. Their gift was to be the visionary, have the idea of what they wanted to achieve. My gift was to look at all the details and things that would need to be done in order to make it happen. But as soon as I would start to remind them of the deadlines they would say, 'Whoa, you need to relax and learn to just go with the flow.' What? Were they really serious? Did they have a magic wand that I was unaware of? Would the results they were expecting mysteriously just fall in to place without any effort? Highly unlikely. 

After dealing with several bosses that thought that way I started to think there was something wrong with me; something wrong with my desire to get results. But guess what? There wasn't anything wrong with the way I thought or my process. Without my skill set a lot of their visions wouldn't have come to the fruition they did and the goals would not have been met when they wanted. I am all about being part of a 'team'. A good team sees and appreciates the strengths and skills of each member. A good team is a puzzle, but when a piece is missing it is not complete.

I spent a lot of time soul searching, looking at my skills, and finally being able to appreciate them for the asset they are. The way I see it, God made me the way that I am. He gave me the tools I needed to do the things I do and the desire to want to use them for good. I decided it was wrong for anyone to have a God-given talent and then to waste it. 

Learn to embrace your character and your talents. Everyone's are different which is what helps make the puzzle complete. We need each other. We need to appreciate each other's talents. There are things I know I cannot do at all and then there are tasks that although I try I can admit I am not very good at, which makes me appreciate other people's talents that much more.

What is one of your strongest talents? 

Do people appreciate it or make you feel weird about it just because it is different than theirs?

Have The Conversation

A conversation is a dialogue made up of at least two voices. Ironically, though, some people think it is about one person mentioning a topic and then someone else speaking A LOT. The second person will start out by sharing their point of view and then it's like a 'snowball down the hill' effect. They talk, then talk some more, then keep talking until the eyes of the first person start to glaze over. It tends to gain momentum as it goes. It's normal for all of us to feel passionate about certain topics, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we know what we are talking about or that we even have our facts in order. We could just be sharing our opinion disguised as fact. Yet, the inner seasoned debater can come out in all of us. We're determined to persuade the other person that our opinion is the right opinion and they should share it.

Want to know what I mean, just watch or listen to any political talk show. The seasoned anchor will do their darnedest to convince you that their point of view is the only one that matters. Now whether the opinion shared is actually theirs or their bosses remains to be determined. But that's neither here nor there.

The thing about real conversations is that if executed correctly we can actually learn more by listening than by talking. A little give and take and equal talk time can teach both parties a lot. If we only want to hear ourselves talk and never listen to anyone else we may as well just have a solo monologue in our car. Then we know we'll never have to argue because the only one listening is us. BUT, if we actually want to discover something about our character and more than just the answer to the topic, we should make a conversation more like a chess match ... make your point (or move your chess piece), then hit the buzzer, then sit back, then wait for a thought out response, wait your turn and then go again. What a concept, huh?

It's okay not to know it all. Take a chance and have the conversation. In the end, you may learn something new.

Do you have those people in your life that like to dominate the conversation? 

How do you handle it?

Look Forward With Anticipation

Sometimes I get inspiration for a blog post from something I've seen or heard. Situations like these are the best source; the conversations and actions are very real and spontaneous. I was recently part of a conversation regarding 'getting over and past the various struggles that we all face at one point or another'. We talked about the uncertainties that many of us face with with our faith and the ongoing question of WHY something happens; an illness, a death, the loss of a job. WHY would a God so great stand by and watch bad things happen to good people? Many of us question the WHY every day.

Fortunately, we tend to gain perspective as the years go by. When we are initially going through a struggle it's at the forefront of our lives; it's all we can see and all we can focus on. It's only later as time goes by that we recognize the good that came out of the bad. Our character became stronger. Our wisdom got deeper. Our priorities became more clear. 

One person shared that they've learned to look with anticipation at what is coming next. We like to believe that God won't ever give us more than we can handle, that He will provide us with the strength we need to get through and past the struggles. If we focus less on the overwhelming worry of the struggle and think more about 'what is God's plan for me?' the strain on our shoulders may lighten a bit. They shared that when facing a struggle they often find themself wondering, 'What is in store for me down the road, because this struggle is bigger than anything I would have planned? It must be key to God's plan for me.' What an amazing perspective to have.

When you're part of a conversation, it's so important to listen to all sides. You may just walk away with the nugget of strength you need.

Where do you get your inspiration?

CHANGE Is Always Just Around The Corner

Some of us spend a lot of time trying to figure life out. We try to anticipate what will come next so we can better prepare ourselves, but things are always changing. Sometimes change is a good thing and sometimes it can be overwhelming. Some changes are overdue and welcomed, others can send us into a tizzy and make us feel defensive.

I was speaking with a group of ladies the other day and we were discussing some of the current changes in our lives. Our schedules have become different. Some of our longtime holiday traditions are changing. Our routines are becoming different each year. A lot of these changes are to be expected as we get older, as our children grow up and have families of their own, and as our family dynamics change. These changes will take time and patience to grow accustomed to them, but we will need to find a way to accept the changes. 

Then there are the changes that turn our lives temporarily upside down. We lose a job as the companies we work for downsize or merge. We get an unwelcome diagnosis from our doctor. We unexpectedly lose a loved one. These are the kinds of changes that we aren't expecting and have no control over. We have no time to prepare ourselves; we are dealt a blow and left to deal with it. These changes will take time (sometimes it will take a long time and that's okay).

If you are facing a change that you feel is wrong or not in your best interest, it is okay to challenge it in a healthy and well thought out way (if you are in a position to). IF despite your best efforts the change still happens, you will need to find a way to accept it and move on. It's not healthy to hold on to the baggage it will leave behind or the strain on your shoulders. If nothing else, you will know in your heart that you did everything you could, that you tried to be a part of the solution. There's nothing worse than not being happy about something and then some day realizing that you never did anything constructive to try to cope with it.

While sitting with this group of ladies I was reminded of the serenity prayer.

Next time you are expected to welcome a change of some sort, remember this prayer. It always helps me to gain perspective, helps calm my nerves, and lessens the strain on my shoulders just enough to move forward.

Is there change in your life right now? A positive one or a negative one? How are you handling it and more importantly do you have a support system in place to help you deal with it? 

Keep in mind, the best thing we can do for someone else is after we ask them 'How are you doing?' be prepared to actually listen to their response.