Look For The Goodness

As usual, the news is full of negative things; shootings, politics, racism, controversies of all kinds, and life-threatening hurricanes. The media, and people in general, are too quick to point out the bad stuff, but if you have your eyes (and your heart) open you will also see some positive things.

Skimming through the Internet headlines and photos yesterday I saw a lot of hardship and sadness caused by Hurricane Harvey. Streets were flooded, people were forced to evacuate their homes, and the weather channels were forecasting even more rain. But I also saw strangers coming together to help strangers. I watched one video of a group of people carrying a 91 year old man down a flight of stairs in his home to place him in an inflated canoe in his living room so they could pull it out the front door and to safety. The road in front of his house, as well as his entire first floor were under water. These people were gentle, they talked to him every step of the way, and they were compassionate. This man was only one of literally thousands who needed to be rescued, but in times of crazy uncontrollable events people still manage to put their differences aside to do the right thing. It's stories like this one that give me hope; hope that there is still decency left in the world, hope that there are still times when people react from the goodness of their heart rather than being reactionary to negativity.

In the midst of tragic times, good things still happen. Babies are still born in the most dire of circumstances reminding us that there is still a tomorrow. People forget about their personal financial stresses, their dysfunctional families, their job searches, and their relationship problems and they simply put everything personal aside and pull together to help strangers in need.

I prefer to think that God doesn't cause the bad things to happen in people's lives, but rather is there giving us the strength, patience, understanding, and compassion we need to make a positive difference as we deal with all the uncertainties we are dealt. There are many, many things we cannot control in today's world, but we will always have the ability to choose how we will react. Will we allow the negativity to suck us in and hold us under or will we fight back with everything we have and overcome the obstacles? I prefer to think that everyone has an unbelievable strength hidden deep down inside. Unfortunately, sometimes it just takes the big, unpleasant stuff to push us into digging deeper.

Join me today as I pray for everyone dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey. May God watch over everyone dealing with the high waters, the many uncertainties, and help to keep everyone safe.

Have A Little Fun

Most things in today's world seem to involve stress; gas prices, politics, the weather, your health, your employment, the economy ... you name it. Yesterday, however, was ALL about the eclipse. People traveled for miles to see the best darkness. Hotels were built in smaller towns to accommodate the extra people. Traffic was backed up on some interstates for miles and miles. But people had an opportunity to witness something they might never have another chance to experience. People took advantage of the opportunity and made memories.

Amidst all the daily stresses it is important to try to create a healthy balance. Yes, we all have important choices and decisions to make, but we also need to learn to lighten up once in a while. We need to have a little fun.

There is a car commercial where a man is belting out a song in his car (with his windows down), he pulls up to an intersection where the lady in the car next to him decides to join in and belt out the chorus. Makes me smile every time. Why? Because it's something I would do. I've been known to dance around the house while dusting because a Backstreet Boys song came on the radio.

We all need to be able to say, 'What the heck' and dance around the house or sing in the car or laugh in public so hard that we have tears rolling down our face. Just last weekend I was eating dinner in a restaurant with my family and I noticed a roaring laughter coming from another table. At first I thought they were being a bit rude and rather loud and distracting, but then I noticed how much fun they were having and then all I wanted to do was find out 'what' they were talking about so that I could laugh too.

Laughter is a cure all for just about anything. Last night my adult daughter and I sat on the couch and decided to create a Bitmoji for me. We laughed as we downloaded the program to my phone and then proceeded to pick out the perfect auburn colored hairstyle for my character, the snazziest clothes, the right makeup, the freckles, the eye color ... we got REAL specific, lol. Then before I could stop her, my daughter sent messages to my husband's phone (of course he was only one room away). She laughed. I laughed. My husband laughed. Bottom line? We had a little fun at the end of an otherwise stressful Monday.

How do you have a little fun? What makes you laugh and temporarily forget your stresses?

What Should I Write About?

What should I write about? Some days that is a really big question. I like to try to keep my posts as motivational, uplifting, and inspiring as possible. But, like you, I am human. There are times I have A LOT on my mind and would love to tell everyone exactly what I was thinking, but those posts would ultimately be considered a rant. Rants are never healthy; for the writer or the reader. I always talk about the power of words. Even the simplest of words have enormous power; to build people up or tear them down. You can give people hope with kind and generous words, just as you can break someone's heart or belittle them with harsh ones.

Every time we open our mouths we should consider the responsibility that we have. We should choose to use our words for good; to better ourselves and those around us. Whenever we spew ugliness for the sake of trying to get our viewpoint across or to make ourselves feel better at the risk of making someone else feel worse, we are making a bad choice ... a sad choice.

Words, whether spoken or written, carry consequences. In today's world we see and hear it every day. For every good word spoken there are bound to be five that are not. I've said it before and I will say it again ... words, once they are out, cannot be taken back. You can say you're sorry to someone. You can tell them you didn't mean to say the ugly things you did, but the truth of the matter is all you can do is continue to try to win someone back over and hope for forgiveness. You'll never be Harry Potter or a magician. You will never be able to fully take back the ugly things you've said. It just doesn't work that way.

There is the saying that 'actions speak louder than words'. That is often true, but whether we are speaking aloud or sharing our words on social media or acting out what is in our hearts we ALL need to take a step back and ask ourselves, 'Is this worth it?' 'Is this going to help or make things worse?'

I listen to the news, I read the online headlines, I observe people, and I feel sickened; by the things I hear, by the things I read, and by the things I witness. I am not one to judge what is right and what is wrong. I have to hold on to my faith that a higher power will make that judgement. I read some online comments and am disheartned by some of the things that I read. People will respond to a story or a Facebook post in the ugliest of ways. They will quickly get off topic and try to throw in their own agenda. They will suggest they are smarter and wiser and better than everyone else and therefore entitled to their disruptive opinion. That's the beauty of America. Everyone IS entitled to their own opinion, but too many people hide behind Amendments and use them as a shield to do or say irresponsible and disruptive things. That is the really sad part. People fought for the rights that others choose to take for granted.

Do I have all the answers of how to make the world a better place? Absolutely not, but I sure wish I did. I'll bet we all wish we did. So what can you and I do? We can start with us. We can't make decisions and choices for other people, but we can choose what our reaction will be and how we will deal with the unpleasantness. We have the ability to choose not to make things worse by adding fuel to the fire. We can think twice before we speak.

How long does it take you to relax?

This week I am conducting a study of sorts and putting myself at the center of the study. Like MANY other people I work full time, I have a family, and I have a lot of responsibilities. Who doesn't, right? I am certainly not centering in just on my habits, but my habits are what I know best.

I am a people pleaser, we've already established that. I never want to inconvenience anyone or add any responsibilities to their already crazy days. In order for me to feel I can go away on vacation I feel I must get all my ducks in a row; at home and at my job. Don't get me wrong, no one expects it of me other than myself. Definitely self-imposed, but that is how I roll.

This week I am on vacation with my sister; a first for us. The first night I slept pretty darn good; the bed and pillows were super comfy, the sunset was amazing, and the skies have been nothing but blue. The second night ... not a lot of sleep. My heart and my body were saying, 'Go for it, relax'. My brain? Active as usual. So how long does it take YOU to relax? Do you leave home and sleep like a baby? Do you never feel the need to check your email or phone? Can you leave the stresses and worries of everyday life back at home? If you can do all of these things, PLEASE message me with your suggestions of success.

Our goals for this week are simple; reconnect as adult sisters, not set a morning alarm, read our books until we are cross-eyed and can't read anymore, and try to just enjoy the moment. So far we seem to be doing pretty well (I think). No one has hurt anyone, lol. We've talked, we've reminisced, and we've given each other space when we need it. Like right now ... I am blogging and she is reading on the balcony. All is good.

My sister recently went camping for five days and said it took her four nights before she got a good night's sleep. I am hoping that since today is day three of five for us I am holding out for the every-other-night routine and am hoping for some serious ZZZ's tonight.

So how do you approach your vacations? With expectations and schedules or more of a 'go with the flow and see what happens' approach? I'd love to know what you look for in a vacation and whether or not you are successful. Are they more about the destination or the company? About the activities or the down time?

Stay tuned. My next post will share some of our highlights so far.

Making The Quick Decision

Are you a good decision maker? Do you make snap decisions or are you a thinker; someone who analyzes every possible angle before choosing which way to go? Truth be told I am probably a little bit of both, just depends on the situation (and the day).

Having the ability to make a quick decision or choice is good if it's a life-saving reflex. We've all heard of the right arm 'mom seat belt' right? I've saved many lives in my lifetime, although I'm sure that the seat belt that came with the cars worked just as well as my arm ... but hey, better safe than sorry. If you see a child wander into the street while playing, you run and stop them, right? Doesn't matter if it's your child or the kid from down the road. Yes, some quick reflexes are helpful when it comes to making that split-second decision.

But making a quick decision about something that ultimately could change your 'big picture' in a way that's stressful or unhealthy isn't a good thing. That's when it would be a good idea to pause and think about everything involved before committing yourself to something. Sometimes we take the wrong job or agree to be part of a relationship because we feel pressured. I once held a job at a travel agency that dealt only with cruises. I agreed to give the job a try because the employer made it sound very enticing. After one week and finding out her expectations (and unhealthy demands) I decided I was not the right person for the job. Looking back I wish I had thought more about my decision before I accepted so quickly. If I had I would have had another 5 nights of good sleep under my belt, but lesson learned.

So why do we sometimes find ourselves making the quick decision that isn't necessarily right for us? I can only speak for myself, but I can admit that I am a people-pleaser. Maybe that's a good trait on most days, but some days it isn't. I often have a hard time saying no because I don't want to disappoint anyone. The fear of disappointment can be very daunting. I somehow convince myself that if I say no things won't happen or get done in a timely fashion and I will be letting someone down. It's hard to accept the fact that even I am dispensable; even I can say NO and things will still proceed without me. Who knew that the world didn't really revolve around me, lol.

We all make our own choices and must then accept the responsibilities that go with them; good or bad. If we all knew how to make the right choice all the time I'm sure we would, but we don't and need to accept that (sometimes daily, lol).

The next time you're faced with making an important decision remember that it's okay NOT to give an immediate answer. In the long run it's better that your answer is the right one for you, rather than just being the speediest.

What was the last quick decision you made? And no, I'm not referring to making a dinner or movie choice. :)

Is Your Summer Half Over?

There's that old controversy 'Is the glass half empty or half full?'. It doesn't just pertain to attitudes; being an optimist or a pessimist. Many people are lighthearted and full of optimism; they see the good in us and themselves (that we can't always see). Others (and I know many specific cases) will be negative about EVERYTHING; the weather, the economy, their relationships, their health, and any other little thing that crops up on any given day. Is being an optimist in our DNA? I'm not a scientist (nor have I played one on TV, lol) so I really couldn't say, but I do think most times it is a choice. 

I can get up any morning to listen to the weather report and decide right then if I'm going to let the fact that it may be hot and humid outside ruin my day. Will my hair get frizzy, yet flat on top? You bet it will, although you would think that combination wouldn't even be possible. I have choices. I can wear a scarf or a hat or wear a headband. I can make the best of the situation and laugh about it with everyone else I see that isn't having their picture perfect day either. We are never truly alone.

If we start out our day with the mindset that it's going to be disappointing or a complete let down, then chances are we've already set the stage and nature (and life) will just take its course and follow. We always have a choice when it comes to our attitudes. I know there are A LOT of very real things out there in the world that I have no control over. I can't control how other people drive. I can't control when something will or won't happen. Just as I can't control when God is going to send someone my way at just the time when I need them most. 

I know one rather negative person who I always joked and said, 'Thier glass isn't just half empty, to them it also has a hole in the bottom.' They choose to look for the bad and then somehow make it bigger or worse. I don't know that I could live that way. It would be too sad and too lonely, but everyone has to make their own choices.

So, as I sit here at my computer and glance at the calendar I notice that we are past the half way mark in the month of July which could mean either ... your summer is half over ... OR you have half of your summer yet to look forward to with anticipation and thankfulness.

What's your outlook? Are you looking at Labor Day as being the end (of whatever that means to you) or are you looking at today as being the start of another great day full of opportunities.

Hmmm, I think I will be optimistic that today's humidity won't be TOO bad and look forward to all that is yet to come.

What's on your horizon for the next six weeks?

What motivates you?

What is your current goal? What is your long term goal? What makes you finally define something as more than just a passing thought, but rather as a goal (which requires commitment)?

Do you want to lose 10# to wear that special dress to a wedding at the end of the summer? Are you interviewing for your first post-graduate job? Are you trying to save money to tackle a certain project that's been on the back burner for too long? Do you want to finally get your life (and basement) organized?

Why do you want to achieve whatever 'it' is? Will accomplishing 'it' make you feel more fulfilled?

What will it take to make you succeed? Your passion? Your unbelievable drive? The potential end result? Will it be your amazing support system or giving yourself a deadline that will help you succeed?

There are self-help books on the market. There are motivational tapes you can listen to (if you still have access to a Walkman). There are life coaches and fitness trainers who will help you stay on track.

I'm not talking about the achieving the predictable New Year's Eve resolutions or the 'it's time to get back into the summer swimsuit challenges'. I'm talking about conquering your fears in the here and now. What is it you REALLY want to do? Why do you want it so bad that you're willing to put yourself in a vulnerable position to go after it? Who is in your corner to support you? How will you feel when you get to the top of YOUR mountain? What will your mountaintop view look like?

I know what MY current challenges are and why I want to overcome them; I want to lose the nagging 5-10# that will never go away, I want to sleep through the night more than two nights in a row, I want to spend more time with my granddaughters, I want to be able to give myself permission to carve out the occasional ME time and not feel guilty for doing it, and I want to learn how to forgive and move on. I am a work in progress, but that's okay ... at least if I am in progress I must be moving forward.

How about you? 

What are your current challenges and how can I help you over come them?