A Fresh Perspective For The New Year

Most every writer feels compelled to write something about New Year's Eve at the end of December; including myself. But what can we write that is new and hasn't been said before? There are only so many ways to talk about resolutions and goals and dreams for the new year. Whether you will bunker down for the night with a book or a movie and a bowl of popcorn OR whether you will get dressed up and venture out to celebrate midnight and the 'dropping ball of lights' with friends. 

The last week, for many, has been a long one. With the Christmas and New Year's holidays falling on weekends many people had the week in between off of work or school, giving many of us a much needed break. A lot of people spent weeks preparing for Christmas; the cooking, the cleaning, the shopping, and the entertaining ... that when December 26th hit most of us could be heard letting out a big sigh. Don't get me wrong, I looked forward to the holiday like everyone else, but then there's a point where you long for 24 hours with absolutely nothing to do. For me, that will most likely be tomorrow; New Year's Day, lol.

This morning my pastor asked how many people planned to make a resolution for 2018. The raise of hands was about 50/50. Many people will make a resolution that they will lose the same 10# as last year, or try to get more organized, or start the dreaded exercise program, or finally begin that special project that is always sitting on the back burner waiting for 'some day' to arrive. The others will not commit to a goal because for some reason they are never quite able to achieve what they set out before them. Perhaps the goal is too redundant or just out of reach, or they have to overcome road blocks that get thrown in their way. Maybe they just need to take some time to reflect and focus on something new.

Personally I don't make New Year's resolutions anymore, not because I always fail (sometimes I actually succeed) but because I like to take the pressure off myself to start over every January 1st. See, that's the thing; a new season can start whenever you choose for it to. Maybe on February 17th you'll have an epiphany that it's the right time to tackle your goal. Perhaps on June 1st you'll decide to make an important choice about the direction of your future.

Your life is YOUR own journey. When and if you succeed in climbing your personal mountains will happen when it is right for you - not when the calendar says it's the day to do it. No two people are alike, making it reasonable that everyone's journeys won't always align on the same days.

Don't set yourself up for failure. Don't try to force your life to match up with everyone else's. Instead, use this New Year's holiday for reflection. Think about the direction your life is currently going and think about whether or not you'd like to see something change. Maybe there is a part of your life that needs some work or to be strengthened. Those are questions only YOU can ask. The answers are at your fingertips just waiting for you to grab hold of them. Give yourself all the time and grace you need. You are worth it.

In the mean time I wish you lessons learned as you look back at 2017 and the courage you need to make your life what you want in 2018.

The Magic of Santa Claus

This time of year (for many) is about shopping, decorating, baking, and spending time with family and friends. There is something special about the spirit of Christmas in general; the way most people will go out of their way to help a stranger. They will open a door and say 'Merry Christmas', they will shovel a neighbor's driveway without telling them, they will drop a dollar or two in the Salvation Army red kettle, and hopefully remember the 'every other car' rule when sitting in traffic. 

I've sat in church these last three weeks and talked about HOPE, PEACE, JOY (and next week, LOVE); the four candles of Advent. These are special messages that help us remember what is really important and get us over and through the difficult times. With all of the happiness and glad tidings that are present during December, many people continue to struggle (with finances, relationships, goals, and anxieties). We can be so caught up in the twinkling lights, the aroma of fresh baked cookies, and the festivities in general that we can easily overlook the simple signs. The person that is sitting alone at a gathering, struggling to feel social, because someone may not be with them this year. The person standing in the layaway line at the toy store literally counting out their quarters and dimes hoping to get their child that special gift for Christmas morning. The person that isn't decorating their house for the holiday, because they fear no one will be coming to visit them.

Try to see past the glitzy store displays, the over-the-top TV commercials that try to convince us that we simply can't live without a new Star Wars toy or a brand new phone, the general idea that new and shiny means bigger and better and we must have it or we've somehow failed.

Embrace the simple pleasures; the car ride through the neighborhoods to look at the lights, the impromptu snow ball fight because the snow is fresh and powdery, and the smile that tugs at our cheeks when a store Santa spots us from across the room and winks or waves to us (trust me, this happens every year and gets me every time).

Whether you are into the whole Santa Claus scene or not, take the time to enjoy the magic of the moment. There's something special about the Santa with an authentic beard, real wrinkles, and rosy cheeks. The one who has the friendly voice and the sparkle in his eye, that somehow just makes you feel better when you've had a difficult day or have a lot on your mind. I've seen a few Santas that were sub-par and had their beards dragging a little too low and needed to put a little weight on, but then there's that ONE that you run into somewhere that just makes the moment a little happier, leaves your shoulders sitting just a little lower, and leaves your heart feeling a little warmer. To those special Santas I take my hat off to you. Well done!

As we gear up for this final week before the big holiday let us all remember the real reason for the season, be a little nicer to one another, share what we have with others (whether we know them or not), and make each other proud.

I wish you an early Merry Christmas!

What is your catch phrase?

It's the time of year when we are caught up in holiday traffic, standing in longer lines at the stores, and have To Do lists that are way too long to get accomplished in the hours of a typical day. It's only normal that we have moments of anxiety. We try to handle the unexpected times of stress with grace and finesse, but we are only human and are bound to stumble from time to time.

When I was experiencing one of those moments yesterday I had someone gently remind me to take the long deep breath in and the slow exhale out. It was helpful. Everyone has those certain techniques that work best for them in specific situations. 

What helps you count to 10 and regroup when you're feeling a bit frazzled? What is your catch phrase that puts things back into perspective for you? What can you say (preferably in your head and not out loud) that will help you get through your moment?

'Bite me!' (not sure where this one came from unless it was a vampire movie)

'Takes one to know one!' (when someone is rude for no reason)

'I know I am, but what are you?' (When someone calls you a sarcastic name and you feel like dishing it back. I think this was applicable in junior high.)

'People suck'! (for those rude drivers that cut you off in traffic)

Now, I didn't say these were all classy responses and I DID suggest that we only say them privately in our cars or in our heads. I'm a firm believer in the old adage that once words are out, you can't take them back - so say all you want in private if it helps you regain perspective and get past the moment.

It's only December 2nd and the traffic is going to get heavier and the department and grocery store lines will undoubtedly get longer. So keep calm, breath deep, whistle a happy tune, sing a perky Christmas song (this you can actually do out loud), and most importantly remember that this too shall pass.

We all have enough things to stress about in the world that it is okay to not have it all together all of the time. But perspective and self-control can go a long way in changing the path of your day, as well as someone else's. Before you yell at the cashier for the stock issue you might be experiencing (which they have NO control over), think again before you react. Before you vent on a complete unsuspecting stranger, think of the long term effect your rant will have on them and all who stand by observing the scene. 

Changing the world is a mighty task, but it can all start with you and I. Let's get creative if we need do and make the best of any bad situations or anxious moments.