Treasure The Memories

Lately I've been or know people who have been to a lot of funerals; for family members, fellow church members, and friends. Funerals can be tough. While for some we can see them as someone finally being at peace and no longer physically suffering, they can also catch us by surprise and leave us wondering why someone had to be taken from us so young and with so much life left to live.

We attend funerals and want to be there emotionally for our family and friends, but don't always know what to say. To a grieving person, they may not want to hear, 'They're in a better place now', because truth be told they would rather that their loved one was still here with them. I was at a funeral not too long ago when the wife of the deceased said, 'He looks good. It's the best he's looked in weeks.' I think it gave her a small sense of comfort to have her husband looking peaceful. It gave her a positive image and a good memory to hold on to. It truly doesn't matter what you say, it's just important that you are there for those who need it.

Bad memories can be haunting for some people and difficult to let go of. The weight they carry with them can be overwhelming, even many years later. Good memories though should be treasured. Sometimes amidst the sad and bitter memories, a positive nugget can be found. When you are able to find that one, you should hold tight to it and carry it with you.

When I was younger (around 11 or 12), my parents were fighting and going through an ugly divorce. In the midst of that I had a best friend named Julia. I would spend as much time as I could with her and her family. To me, her family was like something out of a story book. Her mother was a school teacher and her father was a school principal. What I remember most was them having fun as a family; laughing, having dinner together, and making time in the summer to go to their cottage on a lake. The summer they invited me to go with them for a week was like a little slice of heaven to me; like going to summer camp. I laughed at the breakfast table with them, went on daily hikes and scavenger hunts along the railroad tracks with my best friend, and learned how to water ski on the lake. It was the longest and shortest week of my life; it was like I had traveled to another place (a happy place) and didn't want it to end.

Funny that today as I am preparing for another funeral at my church next week, I thought about Julia and her family. I was reminded about the good times and memories we created. Julia and I lost touch when I moved and went to a new school, but I never forgot about her friendship or the amazing gift I felt her family gave me that week. When you are child caught up in the stress and complexities of a family divorce situation, a peaceful week away with a friend and their family can give you hope. Hope for a brighter tomorrow, hope for a different scenario for your own future. Funny thing is, I don't know that Julia or her parents ever really knew what an impact that one week had on my life.

Hold on to those special memories; especially when they resurface and remind you of the goodness that people can share. Those memories are such a gift. We never know when we are impacting someone else's life in a positive way. Anything and everything we do can affect someone else; if not today then maybe years from now. Open your heart and share the goodness. You are more of a blessing to those around you than you may ever realize.

What's a special memory that you hold close to your heart?

Tradition or A Pastime?

I was recently part of a good conversation with some ladies; we talked about the 'oldest' things in our houses. The general consensus was that we have keepsakes from our parents, our grandparents, and even great-grandparents. We have old dishes (mostly fine china ... that didn't come from China), old furniture, heirloom jewelry, and numerous nostalgic black and white photos. Why do we hold on to the older items? Because of the memories? Because of the traditions? Because we like old, dusty stuff and we are secret-hoarders, lol? All good questions.

The funny thing is as we sat in a circle discussing the items we had and who we acquired them from, some of us had a shared conclusion that 'none of our kids seem to want OUR saved stuff'. We hold on to these items because they are part of our history and shared legacies with our families, yet we are under the delusion that we are saving all these items to pass on and share with our own children and grandchildren. We have hopes that they will appreciate what we appreciate, but seemingly many of them do not and we must accept that. Many of the items we hold on to were part of a different time. A time when most material things were made well, not to be replaced in a few years with a newer model. To acquire these 'things' families scrimped and saved. The items were built to last, were appreciated, and used ... a lot ...and for many years. Families sat at their tables 'together' for meals. Families listened to old turntables together and sang out loud. Grandmothers passed their pearls on to their daughters and granddaughters to wear on their wedding days. One lady suggested that the current generation is more minimalistic. I get that and would agree with it more if I didn't know first hand all of the matchbox cars, building kits, beanie babies, and instruments that have been saved in my house over the years. But as one of the ladies questioned, 'Why wouldn't they want our stuff? We have GOOD stuff!' Yet, times have changed. Most everything today seems to be about replacing it in a year or two with a newer, fancier, or just repackaged version.

Traditions are seemingly learned practices that are passed on from generation to generation. Pastimes are things we do as a hobby or for enjoyment. Some people would say they are able to honor both; they appreciate the quality and the history of the old. Some of us will come across something in our basement and offer it to our children and they'll say, 'No thanks', but they'll go to vintage stores and antique shops to look for something old. Seriously, they could save a lot of money if they'd just take some of our stuff, lol. At least then the history behind the item would be in the form of a family story, rather than a mystery as told by a sales clerk. On the other hand if we gave them something that was meaningful to us and they cut it half or painted over it, there would probably be a little part of our heart that would cry (but then hopefully we would be open-minded and get over it).

I pride myself on having readers from various demographics, so here are some questions for you. IF you are 'more mature in age' (I hope that is politically correct so I haven't offended anyone, lol), what kinds of things are you holding on to and why? More importantly, are you displaying or using the items or are they being stored in a box on a shelf in the back corner of your storage room? IF you are on the younger side is there anything you hope to have handed down to you some day? What would it be and who would it be from? What is the special memory attached to it.