Some of us spend a lot of time trying to figure life out. We try to anticipate what will come next so we can better prepare ourselves, but things are always changing. Sometimes change is a good thing and sometimes it can be overwhelming. Some changes are overdue and welcomed, others can send us into a tizzy and make us feel defensive.
I was speaking with a group of ladies the other day and we were discussing some of the current changes in our lives. Our schedules have become different. Some of our longtime holiday traditions are changing. Our routines are becoming different each year. A lot of these changes are to be expected as we get older, as our children grow up and have families of their own, and as our family dynamics change. These changes will take time and patience to grow accustomed to them, but we will need to find a way to accept the changes.
Then there are the changes that turn our lives temporarily upside down. We lose a job as the companies we work for downsize or merge. We get an unwelcome diagnosis from our doctor. We unexpectedly lose a loved one. These are the kinds of changes that we aren't expecting and have no control over. We have no time to prepare ourselves; we are dealt a blow and left to deal with it. These changes will take time (sometimes it will take a long time and that's okay).
If you are facing a change that you feel is wrong or not in your best interest, it is okay to challenge it in a healthy and well thought out way (if you are in a position to). IF despite your best efforts the change still happens, you will need to find a way to accept it and move on. It's not healthy to hold on to the baggage it will leave behind or the strain on your shoulders. If nothing else, you will know in your heart that you did everything you could, that you tried to be a part of the solution. There's nothing worse than not being happy about something and then some day realizing that you never did anything constructive to try to cope with it.
While sitting with this group of ladies I was reminded of the serenity prayer.
Next time you are expected to welcome a change of some sort, remember this prayer. It always helps me to gain perspective, helps calm my nerves, and lessens the strain on my shoulders just enough to move forward.
Is there change in your life right now? A positive one or a negative one? How are you handling it and more importantly do you have a support system in place to help you deal with it?
Keep in mind, the best thing we can do for someone else is after we ask them 'How are you doing?' be prepared to actually listen to their response.