Integrity: It's Not Just a Word

To some ‘Integrity’ is just a word, to others it’s a creed to how they live their lives; how they think and choose to behave. The dictionary defines ‘Integrity’ as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; a consistency of actions, values, methods, expectations … Regardless, ‘Integrity’ is a BIG word with BIG implications.

I’ve noticed that the word is thrown around, sometimes carelessly, when naming companies or often when used by politicians and other professionals. It can be a big part of advertising to make you think the company (or individual) has morals above reproach, that they’re honest, reliable and trustworthy. Search the Internet and you’ll see companies using the word to name their operating systems, banks, staffing companies, and even office supplies stores.
 

We all know that using specific adjectives in marketing and advertising is all part of the business. They’ll use certain words, certain colors, certain music scores to target certain demographics. That’s common, but don’t be swayed. Don’t fall for the bells and whistles, the glitz and the confetti. Think for yourself and let people (professionals and businesses alike) know that if they’re going to market themselves using ‘Integrity’ as a ploy, they’d better be able to back it up. If you’re like me you’re probably starting to see a lot of political signs on the roads and getting assorted handouts in the mail on an almost daily basis. It’s as good a time as any to sharpen your skills and stay alert.

Hang in there; we're in this together!

What Do You See?

Do you see things one way while someone else in the same room sees the situation differently? It always amazes me when that happens. The intent or purpose of a situation or a plan could seem crystal clear, when in actuality it isn't at all. There are often a lot of grey areas.

The other day someone said in a meeting that 'perception=reality'. Those simple words got me thinking, which I do way too much of. There are always 2 sides to every coin and every story, but some situations could leave so many more impressions. People won't always agree on what the right and wrong are in a situation, that would involve values and we all know that everyone has different viewpoints and values. We can fight for our causes until we're blue in the face but that won't bring total agreement. Sometimes we need to agree to disagree and let the chips fall where they may. I'll be the first one to admit that I have firm beliefs and core values. Do I try to impose them on those around me? Not knowingly, but if asked my opinion I will not hesitate to share it.

Many times disagreements involve family members, co-workers, or even your children's teachers. People will always hold on to their opinions, their ideas, their purposes, and their goals. They won't want to be swayed about how to go after them or for that fact, how to hold on to them. When that happens and you sense some stress and tension on your horizon perhaps you should consider a change of perspective. Try looking at things differently; maybe from someone else's view. You may end up with your same original conclusion, but at least you attempted to see the whole picture. It is important to not only open your eyes to see, but also your mind.

When is the last time you saw something in a different way than someone else? We won't talk politics or religion here because those are topics that I can almost guarantee no one will ever agree on. What do you do when you are faced with perspectives that are different than your own? Do you become defensive or do you hold it in and stay quiet?

Go BIG or Go Home

I've always been a firm believer of going after challenges. Some I succeed at and others not so much, but I keep trying. Some challenges we choose ourselves for a variety of reasons, others are thrown at us. Those are usually the ones we'd rather skip right over ... a broken relationship, a lost job, or getting sick. So let's focus on the ones we can choose for ourselves.

 

First off, what makes a challenge a challenge? You need to pick a challenge that's bigger than yourself - bigger than your everyday routine. Your challenge could be something daring; climbing a mountain, running a race, or facing a fear. It could be something fun, but risky; going after a dream job, being proactive about meeting that someone special, or perhaps making the decision to start a family. If it's easy then it's probably not a challenge.

 

• If your challenge doesn't scare you (even a little), it's not a challenge.
• If it doesn't make you lose sleep, it's not a challenge.
• If it doesn't make you skeptical or worry at some point, it's not a challenge.

Challenges come in all shapes and sizes. Conquering them will bring you a sense of independence and strength, pride, and a superhuman feeling that you can do anything you set your mind to. Those are the challenges that will give you solid memories to share with your family and friends. Those are the challenges that will give you the strength to tackle the ones you don't choose.

Will you fail? Possibly, but NOT all the time and when that happens you try again (and again if necessary). Eventually you will conquer your challenge.

Currently my self-chosen challenge is public speaking. That one definitely puts me out of my comfort zone, but maybe that's what intrigues me about it.

What's your current challenge?

Useless Words

The dictionary is full of words; some good some not so much. I've blogged before about the importance of words and the limitless power they possess. Words can build a person up, congratulate them on a task well done, or they can damage a self-esteem in the matter of mere seconds. Have you ever watched the movie 'Mean Girls' or seen a bridesmaid's episode of TLC's 'Say Yes To The Dress: Atlanta'? The storeowner, Lori, will protect her brides till the end if the bridesmaids get too out of hand. I've seen episodes where bridal party entourages have been ruder to the bride than you could ever imagine because for some reason they believe their friend's wedding should be all about them. When the bridesmaid becomes the bride then they can have the spotlight, until then they need to be quiet and take a back seat.

Words should validate, flatter, and express concern when needed. They should never be cruel, wasteful, or ill-intended. At that point, they become useless. Words have a great deal of power and once spoken generally can't be taken back. First impressions and first words mean a lot, just ask someone conducting an interview.

My advice to you ... think twice and speak once (if necessary). Often by doing so you may change your mind and save yourself from embarrassment or saying something you'll later regret. In the words spoken by the Queen to the evil stepmother in the movie 'Ever After' with Drew Barrymore, "Choose your words wisely Madame, for they may be your last."

When was the last time you said something you later regretted?

Real Life Lessons

There are those things that you learn in school and in books, but some of the most important lessons you will ever learn come from 'real life'. Don't get me wrong ... education teaches us a great deal, but so do the people we know and the observations we make. In today's world everything is about being faster and getting it done with the click of a button. Somewhere along the line people forgot how to do the most basic of tasks. The majority of people that I know do their banking online, yet very few take an actual paper receipt when they make a purchase, let alone take the time to balance their checking account at the end of the month. Call me old-fashioned but I still ask for a receipt and I still take the time to balance my accounts on paper. Guess I'm showing my age; although I can tell you that at least once every other month a tip doesn't get recorded on my bank statement which also means a waiter or waitress didn't get their well deserved tip. We generally eat at the same places so when that happens I always put that 'unrecorded' tip in an envelope and take it with me the next time I go. Apparently I'm in the minority because the wait staff are always most appreciative (and shocked).

Yes, some 'real life' lessons we learn by actually doing and practicing them. We need to remember how to at least write our names. Computers may be the norm these days, but guess what? You will still need to know cursive to sign your name on documents such as a mortgage and your marriage license. Not to mention what if you become famous and have a need to sign autographs?

What real life lessons have you held on to in spite of the rushing world and speedy Internet?

Where Would You Go?

Lately I've thinking about vacations ... about where I would most like to go if time, money, and responsibilities weren't an issue. Are you the kind who would want to go where all the people and excitement are (NYC or Las Vegas) or would you want to go somewhere quiet and calm (a cabin, perhaps the beach)? Travel planners must love it when someone walks into their office and says, "I don't really know where I want to go or what I want to do, I just want to get away."

 

Some people are more prone to relax near the water and the sunshine, while others might prefer skiing and the snow capped slopes. Some love horseback riding and walks through some of nature's best trails, while others might prefer culture, fine dining and museums.

I suppose the first thing to consider is what do you hope to achieve with your vacation. Are you hoping to sit back and relax or are you full of energy and looking for lots of activities? Do you want solitude or crowds? Do you want to be able to drive to your destination or are you a jetsetter and looking for the fastest and most direct route to get there?

Have you already gone on your absolute dream vacation, and if so where did you go? Or are you still planning it? I just booked a B&B weekend getaway for my daughter and I before she goes back to college. It was a tough decision. Do we try to pack as much into 2.5 days as possible or do we go with the flow knowing that there are plenty of options once we get there and we can decide when the time comes? We chose the latter. Some rest, some relaxation, good food, fresh air, plenty of bike paths and things to see, antique shops and quilt gardens, and don't forget the fresh brewed iced tea out on the porch swing. Can you tell I'm excited?

 

So what does your summer look like? Any big plans on the horizon? This summer may not be your big dream vacation, but it'll come - I'm still holding on to my dream(s). I have a few special destinations in mind ... the East Coast in the fall, Colorado in the summer, and I'd still like to make the journey to Hawaii. Bon Voyage!

It's All About The Journey

We all have goals and ambitions; and I’m sure we all focus intently on getting past the finish line. Whether we’re working on a big project at work, running a marathon, or working toward a personal goal of some sort I think it’s the journey itself that matters the most.

Our journey may or may not end as we originally planned, but the obstacles and achievements that we endure along the way are when we will learn valuable life lessons. We may discover our strengths, as well as our weaknesses. Our goals may even change during the course of the journey. We may find ourselves needing to step out of our comfort zones in order to get where we need to go.

Last night my daughter and I attended a team fundraiser for a 3Day breast cancer walk. I had participated in the same walk a few years ago so I knew the dedication it took and wanted to support this young team. I remember my goal; as well as all the planning, training, and fundraising that went along with it. Was I able to train for 20 weeks in preparation? Yes. Was I able to raise my required funds? You bet – I actually raised more than double than was required. Was I able to walk ALL 60 miles in 3 days? Sorry to say, but NO I wasn’t - I only walked about 48 miles. Sometimes all the planning, energy and enthusiasm we have for a goal isn’t enough to get us through. Do I have any regrets that I wasn’t able to complete my goal? Of course I do, but I didn’t walk away empty handed (no pun intended). I pushed myself for months and found an inner level of dedication and strength that I didn’t know I had inside me. Along the way I discovered that I had a voice and a passion for a cause AND that I was respected for what I had to say. I found that I LOVED talking to people I didn’t know to create awareness. Last night I told someone that I had discovered that I loved the fundraising portion of the journey more than the training part to which he replied, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say that.”

You never know what you’re going to discover about yourself or other people while on your journey. Consider the journey an adventure. Be willing to step outside your box. Be open to what may come your way. You never know … achieving your original goal may not end up being your biggest accomplishment.

What journey are you currently on?