A Neighborhood Experiment

This past week I decided to conduct an experiment for a couple of reasons.

First I should properly set the scene. The street I live on was getting new concrete (that's a story in itself). It was a 2 step process. One side of the street was done first, then flagged off with orange cones to set for about 5 days. During that week homeowners on that side of the street made other arrangements for their cars, since some of their driveways were blocked. We had one-way traffic on the street, which was enough of a challenge for a main street. There was about a block and a half stretch of one lane ... meaning 'single file' and 'wait your turn for clearance'. Apparently that's a challenge for some drivers who don't want to share the road.

Last week was my turn. My side of the road was taken out, repaired, and set up with orange cones. My driveway was one of the lucky ones to be completely blocked, so my husband parked in front of our house and I parked in front of the house 3 houses down. I had no choice in the matter, but at the same time I felt guilty. You see, I had never met the homeowners before. I've lived in my house for 15 years and I'm ashamed to say that I don't know everyone on my street. I know the families who are my direct neighbors and I know the families on my street who had kids at the bus stop, but it kind of stopped there.

In today's 'rush rush' society we don't meet all of our neighbors ... for that fact the only time we see a lot of our extended relatives is when we're at weddings and funerals to which some cousin or aunt usually says, "You know, we really need to get everyone together somewhere other than at a funeral."

So here is where my experiment came in. My husband and I were scheduled to have friends over on the weekend to play cards, but we can only play cards when it involves fresh homemade cookies. (Don't judge.) I don't like to cut cookie recipes in half, so I usually plate up the extras and give some away. Saturday afternoon I came home to find the orange cones had been removed early ... you could practically hear the applause on the street. I decided to be bold and take a plate of homemade cookies down the street to the homeowner I had not met. I'll be honest, I was a bit nervous and felt awkward. What if they don't answer the door because they don't know me? What if they're diabetic and can't eat the cookies? What if they don't like Oatmeal Cranberry cookies? Or worse ... what if they think I'm a stalker? So many ridiculous scenes played out in my head; but I squared up my shoulders, had my cookies in hand, and marched the long distance of 3 houses down the street. A neighbor was outside (who I also hadn't met) and told me they were in their backyard. Now what do I do? If I casually walk into their backyard am I invading their privacy? But the neighbor had already seen me so I was commited to the experiment. I bit the bullet, walked back with cookies in hand, introduced myself and politely thanked her for letting me park in front of her house for the last week. It all happened so quick, but worked out great. She was surprised I would do something like that. We chatted for a few minutes, were friendly, and are now a bit better acquainted.

What inspired me to conduct this little experiment? I suppose the fact that we'd recently reviewed the 10 Commandments in church. LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR is more than just a commandment, it can be the opening of a door, the suggestion of a possible friendship, or a simple display of good morals and values. So ... how many of your neighbors do you actually know? When was the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone to talk to one you didn't know? What happened?

Do you wear blinders?

I've been doing a lot of people watching & listening lately. I read Facebook postings to see what is new with the people I know, I listen to conversations to hear who could use my support and prayers, and I observe people's reactions and behaviors to see what their priorities are. I've become more aware recently that a lot of people seem to wear blinders (metaphorically speaking). While many people are fully aware of their surroundings, a lot of people seem to look past (intentionally or not I wouldn't begin to assume) what and who is around them.

My church recently held a volunteer food packing event. My daughter took a donation bag to school to see if anyone would want to donate to the cause. The students in one of her classes were watching a documentary about a past tsunami and how it devastated the area and the survivors. She took the opportunity to ask her teacher if she could speak to the class about the upcoming food packing event, to which he said 'yes'. She explained the concept of packing the food and how it could get shipped to areas of disaster where it was needed most. While some students donated their leftover change from lunch, a few students were dumbfounded and responded with replies like 'isn't that like volunteering?' and 'you mean you actually give up time to volunteer?' as if to say 'what's in it for you?' My daughter had a mix of emotions ... thankfulness to those that had donated, anger to those that mocked her efforts, sadness to those who were oblivious, and disappointment for those that didn't seem to care one way or the other.

Last week I was speaking with some adults at a school function. We were discussing the differences and options between fundraising for groups and the possibility of just charging larger amounts to the parents for their student's involvement in the program. There are a lot of opinions on that subject, so I'll save that topic for a future blog entry. Some parents like the fundraising aspects because it's a way to unite the families that are involved, while some parents would prefer to write a check. No one approach is right or wrong or better than the other. The part of the conversation that surprised me was when one parent (who I like) suggested that she didn't understand why everyone wouldn't just want to write a larger check and be done with it. She suggested that we lived in nice area and she couldn't believe that not everyone would have the money available to them to do it. My input was that perhaps she wasn't seeing the whole picture. I mentioned that I knew of people who had 2 income households and after one or both of them had lost their job they were doing their best to maintain their home and lifestyle. If we really look around us we will see that some households are doing fine, some are tightening their belts, some are re-prioritizing their needs and wants, and some are experiencing the possibility of losing it all. The teacher that was present even suggested (to her surprise) that our own high school was considered in need (not sure if that is the correct term) because a large enough % of the students qualified and received free school lunches.

The point is that when you walk down your street and criticize someone because their grass is getting a little tall for your liking, maybe you should ask yourself why. Have they taken on a 2nd job recently and haven't been home all week to cut the grass? Is the house in foreclosure? Did the homeowner suffer a heart attack last month and isn't able to handle the maintenance just now?

If we don't make the effort to interact with our neighbors, friends, and even strangers how can we truly expect to see the big picture? How can we know what is needed or how we can help?