You Can't Always Take It Back

There's been a lot of controversy and ill feelings in the news lately; as if it isn't usually that way. Sure there are politics, but that could be a topic for a blog post in itself. We've had reports of teenage drivers being killed on the road because someone crossed over the line and hit them head on in their lane. And we've had sad reports of a firefighter being intentionally run down on the road while collecting donations for a charity. These were both serious, life-altering incidents that can't be taken back.

While I'm certainly not trying to compare useless words to the accidents I mentioned, words are one thing that we DO have control over. Nowadays people seem to hide behind their freedom of speech amendments in order to say whatever they want, as if it somehow gives them a pass to behave carelessly. Case and point; recently 2 co-hosts of the TV show 'The View' made careless comments about a Miss America contestant who wore her scrubs and gave a monologue for her talent portion of the competition. Needless to say the co-hosts' comments were misinformed, needless, and completely uncalled for. Nurses and viewers across the U.S. responded unfavorably resulting in the 2 co-hosts giving an on-air apology. The thing about apologies is that when they're only given once someone is confronted (and most likely pre-written by someone else) they don't tend to come across as believable. Many media reps have said before that even 'bad publicity is better than no publicity'.

Words are final; once they're spoken you can't always take them back. Everyone, especially those in front of a camera or on a platform, should be knowledgeable of what they say. Bashing or belittling others has always been the tact of a bully in order to make themselves feel better. While I do write a blog I understand that with the words that I choose to write comes a certain level of responsibility. My only hope is to share my viewpoint in a respectable way, nudge readers to think about consequences and choices, and slowly edge my little corner of the world into a more peaceful state.

My prayers go out to the families of those involved in the deadly car accidents; those whose lives were forever changed because of the avoidable actions of others. I cannot change what happened to them, as I cannot change a lot of things in this world. However, I (and you) CAN make a difference with our own words and actions. I am always reminded of the quote, 'Think twice, speak once.' If I still get it wrong, shame on me for missing the opportunity.

Getting A Free Pass

Remember when you played Monopoly and you got a 'Get Out Of Jail Free' card? It allowed you a 'pass'; meaning you didn't have to go to jail and wait three throws of the dice or you didn't have to pay the dreaded $50 fee (I think that was the amount). What if you could do or say whatever you wanted in real life and not have to pay any consequences for it? Unfortunately if we watch the evening news we'll see that it happens just about every day. Yet we can hope  that we won't have to deal with any serious issues or crimes. I'll bet we all know that one special someone in our lives though who acts as if they're above reproach. That one person who thinks they can be rude and inconsiderate and never have to apologize or consider any one else's feelings.

How does that person make you feel? When they say rude things or try to be manipulative do you feel bullied? Bullies come in all shapes and sizes and ages. They can be found on the elementary school bus, in the high school locker room, in the office, in your own home, or in rush hour traffic. They're those people who, for whatever reason, feel better when they're putting someone else down; whether it's about your appearance, your values, your goals, or your accomplishments. For decades there have been those people who will tear others down in order to build themselves up. It's always at someone else's expense.

Do they realize how they're behaving? Do they even want to change? Deep down are they sorry, but feel trapped in their own behavior? I'm sure every case is different. I know some people who are able to get a snide remark into just about every conversation; for some I think it's on purpose. Sadly, for some I think it's become a normal way of life.

So what do we do when we encounter these people? Do we try to avoid them? Do we grow thicker skin? Do we let their rudeness just roll off like water? We can try these approaches, but they won't always work. We'll feel vulnerable at times and hurt and other times we'll remain strong and be able to tell ourselves to 'consider the source'. 

How do handle your 'special someone'? What would your advice be to someone in those shoes?