What are you thankful for?

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. This morning I heard a quote on the radio by Charlie Brown, something to the effect of 'Thanksgiving is the only national holiday where we give ourselves permission to be thankful'. Ironic, isn't it?

I know I have A LOT to be thankful for, but not just one day a year. I am thankful for all things, big and small. Big things like my health (being a 5 year cancer survivor), my marriage, my children, and that I have a job. While it may sound funny or petty, I'm also thankful for small things like 'earned freebies'. In a time when the price of just about everything seems to go up: utilities, health insurance, groceries, gasoline, etc., etc. I am thankful for all of those 'store freebies' (as I like to call them). CVS gives me 'extra bucks' when I buy my milk there. Kroger gives me 'fuel reward points' when I purchase my groceries that I can apply to gas for my car, not to mention the 'community reward' dollars that I earn for my favorite charity.

A local grocery store, VG's Grocery', also lets me earn 'YES Reward points' which I can save up and apply to highlighted products of the week. Last night I stopped there after work to pick up some dinner items. I was also purchasing a few things for a Thanksgiving veggie tray. It was such a pleasant thing to scan my carrots and celery and have the register ask me if I'd like them for free by redeeming some of my points. Sure ... you're probably thinking 'Geez, it was just celery and carrots. What's the big deal?' The big deal is that when a lot of people in our community could be struggling (stores & customers alike), I think it's great when a store publicly acknowledges their customers' needs in whatever way they can. It's called watching out for your fellow neighbor and that is not a small thing.

So, tomorrow when you're sitting around the dinner table with your family stop and remember all the things that you're thankful for. We can be thankful each and every day, but it wouldn't hurt us to say it out loud. It's easy to get caught up in all of the daily schedules and stresses and forget. I think we could all use a little reminding from time to time.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Did my ears just deceive me?

Yesterday I had a day off. So what did I do? I did something responsible and boring ... I got the oil changed in my van. Then I did something good and fun ... I went shopping to fill a child's gift bag for a Christmas outreach project. The sky was blue, the sun was shining and the air was crisp. A picture perfect day for running errands and getting in and out of my minivan a dozen times.

One of my stops was a local department store that was having a 'pre' Black Friday sale. 40-50% off mostly everything in the store in addition to the discount cards customers had (ranging from 15-30%). Needless to say the lines were long and the customers were smiling. Well, most of them that is.

I absolutely love Christmas time. I love the music. I love the decorations. I love the twinkling lights. And I love the spirit. I was basically finished picking up the stuffed lion and matching 'CARS' red hat and gloves that I went there for, but couldn't help myself. I had to take one last detour to the area with the Christmas trees and ornaments (yes ... I said 'Christmas' trees ... not 'holiday' trees, but I'll save that subject for another blog entry). Generally when one is shopping during the holidays and in the crowds, you're bound to hear the cry or whine of an overheated, overtired, overwrought toddler; not to mentioned the overstressed parent who will eventually say 'We're almost done sweetie, then we'll get you that Happy Meal at McDonald's.' But yesterday I heard something different.

As I was walking along intensely studying the vast array of sparkly ornaments I heard the following conversation.

'I don't know why I brought you with me today. All you've done is whine and complain.' (voice #1)

'You always ignore me!' (voice #2)

'You're being a pain. You're being cranky and rude.' (voice #1)
'I didn't want to come with you anyway!' (voice #2)

'Next time you're staying home and I'm going shopping by myself. You totally ruin the shopping experience.' (voice #1)

'Fine!' (voice #2)

'Fine!' (voice #1)

When you're in a situation like this where a LOUD conversation is taking place just ten feet away from you, it's difficult to ignore. You try not to look or make eye contact of any kind, but there comes a point when you just can't help yourself. You feel like there's a soap opera playing on the TV in the next room and find yourself peering carefully around the lit up display to see 'who' is making such a fuss. I admit I was a bit taken back when I saw that the voice #2 belonged to a young 20-something year old girl who was so busy texting while walking and talking that she wouldn't even look her mother in the eye. All I can say is 'Yikes'. I hope they can patch things up before the holidays get here or it's going to be a really cold month of December.

So, as the holidays draw nearer please be patient with your family, be patient with your fellow shoppers, be patient with the store employees, be patient with any drivers out on the crowded roads and remember to smile and say 'Merry Christmas.'

STOP !!

Today I want to talk about 'STOP' signs? Why are they there?

Believe it or not they weren't just put there to slow down your commute to wherever you're going. They are strategically placed at intersections so that 'everyone' can be safer. You'll notice them (or at least you should) at the end of your street, in parking lots, etc. They're meant to slow down big, heavy vehicles and hopefully eliminate people from slamming into each other. Think about it ... you can't have two SUVs coming towards each other at 50 mph and not expect someone to get hurt if they both get to the intersection at the same time, right? This scenario isn't just a story problem for a junior high math class. It's life. It makes sense that we should SLOW down and start watching out for each other. Give the right-away to the guy who gets there first. Try it and maybe someone will return the favor to you some day.

Stop signs are crucially important in high school parking lots and on college campuses. Some days I think I'm literally taking my life into my own hands when I pick my daughter up from a school event. Seriously, nothing gets the old ticker racing fast like sitting in the high school parking lot when the last bells rings.

Last night my husband and I picked our daughter up from a music rehearsal at a nearby university. We got there a few minutes early (nearly 9:00 p.m.). It was dark out and cold so we decided to just wait in the van for a few minutes. After all, it was toasty inside and Christmas music was playing on the radio. Where am I going with this? I'll tell you. This particular parking lot is very well lit and adorned with numerous clearly marked STOP signs. In a matter of 10 minutes I observed more than a dozen vehicles drive right past the stop signs. They didn't even slow down or tap their brakes, they just went right on past them as if they weren't even there.

So why is that some people look at stop signs and think they don't have to stop? Why do people see speed limit signs and think they're nothing more than a suggestion? Why do people see 'right lane closed ahead' signs and think they're meant for everyone else but them?

I don't mean to go off on such a rant ... well o.k. ... maybe I do. But accidents are never planned. We all need to slow down and pay attention. The holidays are approaching quickly which generally means more traffic. Perhaps we should start practicing from now to get from point A to point B safely, without hurting ourselves or anyone else. That, my friends, could be one of the greatest Christmas presents you could give.

So what's stopping you?

Today is a BIG day for me! I'm taking some quality time for myself. Sure I still have my never-ending TO DO list at home on the counter ... AND there's the one in my desk drawer at work ... AND there's the abbreviated short list I brought with me today as I'm out and about. But for right now I'm at the library (my favorite Zen place) making my plan. What is my plan you ask? Ok, so maybe you didn't actually ask, but I'll humor myself and answer anyway. I'm attempting to make my plan about HOW I can go about achieving something I've always wanted to do.

When we're teenagers we think we are invincible. We think we know so much! We think we have 'it' all figured out. And we think we know what our goals are and what we're going to do with the rest of our lives. Then a thing called LIFE happens. I'm certainly not saying that when our life detours and takes a different course it's a bad thing, because that certainly wasn't the case for me. But I am honest enough to admit that sometimes when LIFE knocks on our door, our journey takes a detour. My detour was meeting a wonderful guy and falling in love, then raising a family (which is an ongoing process), and working at a job that I thoroughly enjoy (but never saw myself doing ... it wasn't part of my plan), etc., etc. My point is that goals don't always come with a clearly defined timeline.

So what was my goal so many years ago? It was to be a legit writer. Technically I suppose I am. I've written some heartfelt articles for my church's newsletter, I write solid monthly council reports for my job, when I ran a specialized marketing company for aviation I wrote 1,000+ marketing packages for aviation personnel, I write daily super organized TO DO lists, and I've written continuously on 2 blogs. But now it's time for something bigger.

The question for me is whether my writing goal from 25 years ago is the same goal I have now. Is the topic something I still feel as passionate about? That's something I need to take a hard look at. A lot has happened in my life since I was a teenager. I've been married for 29+ years, have 2 amazing children (ages 16 & 25), am a 5-year cancer survivor, and have grown spiritually in ways I never would have thought possible.

So do I still want to write a series of children's books or do I want to write a heartfelt journal for women in their 40s who've been blindsided with a beast known as cancer and come out of it stronger, healthier, and wiser? Big decision, I know. Maybe there would be a market out there for one of them or both of them. I don't know. Maybe there are already enough of both on the market. Maybe people would want to read them, maybe they wouldn't. But I suppose I'll never know unless I start writing. It could take me a while, but bear with me. We're all a work in progress.

Enough about me. What were some of the goals you set for yourself when you were younger? Have you accomplished them? If not, what's stopping you?

How old is 'too old' to trick-or-treat?

Well, I've done it again ... another 10 days has gone by in between my blog posts. Guess 'life' is my only excuse.

The high school football team has made it through through their first playoff game, which in my house means 'the marching band season marches on' (pardon the pun). My daughter had a high school orchestra concert last week, and this week has a Oakland Youth Orchestra symphony concert. I volunteered at a Trunk-or-Treating/Fall Festival on the weekend, and helped to prepare a meal midweek for a family night at my church. The schedule just never seems to ease up.

Tomorrow is Halloween and this year I made the personal decision to not hand candy out at my door. I was a bit torn since I love seeing the cute costumes on the little kids. What I don't seem to like are the 50+ teenagers that run across my lawn and through my landscaping in costumes that are either 'super lame' or 'super sleezy'. Obviously their parents must have told them that they were too old to be out trick-or-treating and that if (in spite of their deep voices and obvious height distinctions) they were still going to go that they should at least wear a costume. I've turned older kids away before ... no costume ... no candy. But the last couple of years it seems the older teenage boys pulled last week's laundry out from under their bed to wear or the teenage girls insisted that wearing their dance recital tutu (from when they were 9) with knee-high striped socks was indeed a costume. Sorry kids ... I'm not buying it. So no candy for you this year!

So my question to you is ... how old is 'too old' to trick or treat? I always told my kids once they were out of elementary school they were done. Then they could either dress up and hand the candy out at the door or go to a neighborhood party.

This year I opted to volunteer at the church's Trunk-or-Treating /Fall Festival event. I got to see all of the cute little princesses, dragons, mario's, and pumpkins. In addition, I prepared 2 little trick-or-treat bags for the 2 little boys that live across the street from my house. They always say 'please' & 'thank you' (excellent qualities I might add) and they NEVER run across my lawn or through my landscaping.

What are your 'cages'?

First I must apologize. I haven't blogged for nearly 2 weeks. Life, as I know it, has been extremely busy. Work, family life, my teenager's extra-curricular schedule of activities, etc. etc. It's funny, I apologize as if there are people out there who are actually sitting by their computers and staring at their wall calendars saying 'OMG ... it's been nearly 2 weeks since Jennifer posted a new blog entry. I hope she's o.k.' So now I've just made both of us laugh. :)

Sure ... I blog in hopes that someone else will read it and perhaps relate. I blog in hopes that maybe someone will post a comment and share an insight. But to be totally honest, I blog for myself. It settles me when I'm feeling overwhelmed. It gives me clarity when I'm trying to work something out in my mind. And most importantly, it just plain makes me feel good.

Recently I was having a conversation with someone about a book they'd read for a class. The author talked about people dealing with 'cages' in their lives. Cages hold things back, they create obstacles, and they can get in the way. When you relate that thought process to people and goals one must first ask themself if there is something they've always wanted to do or some goal they've set for themselves to accomplish. Then you ask yourself if you've been able to achieve it. If not ... why not? What is holding you back? What are the cages in your life?

I've been thinking about my goals and what 'cages' have been holding me back. Then I've wondered if my 'cages' have just been excuses that I've made up or are they real? I think there is probably a little bit of truth in both options. Some cages have probably been imaginary on my part. After all, if I put off doing something because of an excuse, then ultimately I can't fail at my goal, right? On the other hand, lack of time and focus aren't always my fault, there are these things called responsibilities and life that can slow me down through no choice of my own.

So for now it appears my biggest cage is clarity. I need to determine for myself exactly what my goals are, and how and when I want to get there.

What are some of your goals and what cages are getting in your way?

How much time should a parent invest?

Are you a parent? If not I'm sure you know someone who is. I am. My husband and I have 2 great kids ages 16 & 25, one is a boy and one is a girl. Both are very similar in a lot of ways, but on the other hand at times could not be more different. My question to you, as a fellow parent, is 'how much time should a parent invest' in their children? In today's society children are expected to go to school, be involved in various co-curricular activities, do community service ... everything from t-ball, dance classes, soccer, girl and boy scouts, piano lessons, school clubs, the church youth group ... and the list goes on and on. As parents we're expected by society to keep our children busy with activities, keep their minds challenged, and keep them out of trouble.

When our son was in high school we would drive him to band practices, science olympiad tournaments, and hockey games. Then we drove our daughter to music lessons, dance classes, and now marching band and symphony rehearsals. Of course there was a point in time when our son started driving himself to all of his 'things', but we would still show up to support him at every single game or concert (sometimes as a spectator and sometimes as a volunteer coach). Our daughter's current schedule is very similar and soon enough she will be driving herself to her part time job and band rehearsals as well.

Last night I attended her high school music booster monthly meeting. With 100+ students in the program there were probably less than 20% of the families represented by a parent. To some 20% may not sound like many and they would be right. On the other hand, it was a HUGE increase from when I attended for my son 10 years ago.

I remember when my son went off to college 8 years ago. I had a hard time at first, I'll admit I was missing him. I remember my boss telling me it was 'time to cut the apron strings'. Wow ... easy for him to say. Not always easy to do. The day we moved our son into his dorm, we were instructed to pull our vehicle up to a designated spot, unload his stuff onto the lawn, and then go park. Curb space was obviously limited. His 'stuff' could sit on the lawn as long as was needed in order for us to get him moved in. But you would be surprised at how many parents would unload their child's belongings and then just leave. A few of the students were left standing there alone on the lawn with their stuff. I even heard one parent say 'You're 18 now and on your own'. The mother in me wanted to walk over and give the kid a hug. I mean 'seriously?'

It doesn't matter how old my kids are - they are still my kids. I still care about how their day went and what their plans are. I will always be there to support them in things they are doing and will always help them in any way that I can.

So, as a parent, how do you manage? How do you not worry? I'm sure it'll get easier - that's what I've been told anyway.