Safe Thanksgiving Conversation Topics

Thanksgiving is less than a week away. It's a day packed full of traditions; turkey and mashed potatoes, watching football, a little competitive ping pong (usually dads versus the kids), and time spent after dinner scrutinizing the Black Friday newspaper ads.

It's a holiday filled with snacking and catching up with those we haven't seen in a while. The time comes when the food is laid out, everyone packs their plates, and then chooses their seat at the dinner table (depending on the size of the group there may still be an adults table and a kids table).

Then the moment of truth comes; everyone is seated across from each other without the distraction of people coming and going and a football game on the TV. So what do you talk about now? Here is my list of bad conversation topics and the tried and true 'safe ones'.

Don't start any sentence with 'When are you going to ...'

When are you going to set the date and get married?

When are you going to get a job?

When are you going to stop smoking or start exercising?

Never put someone on the spot. It's not like you pointing out the topic in front of a roomful of people is suddenly going to give them the answer that you want to hear. In general it's a good idea to avoid the topics of politics, increased healthcare costs, and whether or not professional football players should be kneeling during the anthem. Try to avoid the topics that you know will undoubtedly push someone's buttons. Remember that everyone has already had a beer or a glass of wine and is there to enjoy some down time.

Thanksgiving is a time for gathering and for being thankful. Bringing up conversation topics that will cause indigestion is never a good idea.

My advice? Stick with the topics that start with 'Remember when ...'

Remember when we went to that concert and stayed out too late?

Remember when we were kids and we broke the bed and tried to put it back together without mom noticing?

The 'Remember when ...' topics result in a lot more laughter and truth be told, the stories get better each time we tell them, even if they are exaggerated just a bit.

So this Thanksgiving be grateful for the food, be grateful for family and friends, and be thankful for the laughter. We'll try to solve all the world's problems on another day.

What do you notice?

Noticing something is a way of acknowledging that something or someone exists. We don't always do things to be noticed, but it's also nice not to feel invisible. Acknowledgements go a long way to establishing our level of self-confidence, building our character, and defining our personality. Sometimes a mere acknowledgment lets us know that we are on the right track and doing something right. We don't necessarily need a big, flashy billboard saying 'WELL DONE!' ... a smile or a gentle pat on the back works nice too. It can give us the encouragement we need to keep moving forward.

But acknowledgements can be tricky; sometimes they are positive and can build us up, just as sometimes they can be negative and tear us down.

What do you tend to notice?

Do you tell your children, 'I noticed you did a nice job making your bed' or 'I noticed you got a good grade on your book report'?

Do you tell your employee, 'I noticed you worked late last night and have been putting in a lot of extra effort'?

Do you tell someone, 'I noticed you got a haircut. It looks very flattering.'?

Or do you only seem to point out the negatives?

'I noticed you didn't wipe off the table after dinner.'

'I noticed you didn't cut the grass.'

'I noticed your bedroom looks like a tornado hit it.'

Sometimes I think that the things we choose to acknowledge and how we say it can say more about us than what or who we were noticing in the first place. I know someone who every time I get my hair done will tell me that it looks nice, but that they really didn't like it the last time. Ironic, because they said the same thing last time which either means I am always improving OR they never like it anyway, lol. I think it says more about the person than it does about my hair, but that's just my personal opinion.

So what kinds of things do YOU notice? 

Are you, by nature, a positive or negative thinker?

More importantly, what do you do then? How do you choose to share what you notice?

The Dilemma of Gift Cards

Remember when gift certificates were all the rage? Restaurants, hair salons, clothing stores? It was exciting to give someone a day of pampering and a day of choices. Didn't know exactly what to give someone for a gift - let them pick it out themselves. Then technology and time moved forward and everything became more digitized. Now it's all about the gift cards. Some gift cards come in packages; dinner AND a movie, some are good for more than one restaurant or apparel store. Gift cards can make life easy (for the buyer and sometimes for the recipient).

A lot of places will offer incentives; buy multiple gift cards and get a coupon or small gift card for yourself, buy your gift cards in bulk at Costco or Sam's Club and get a discount, buy your gift cards at Kroger and you can earn gas points (sometimes even 2x or 4x the value). Yes, society makes it REAL easy to shop - what the heck, you can even purchase gift cards online and never leave the comfort of your laptop and pajamas.

My mother always had a problem giving gift cards as gifts. Sure, she loved the whole wrapping and presentation process of the package, but truth be told I think she also liked picking out the gifts. She would put a lot of thought into it and often start months in advance. Unfortunately, sometimes what SHE thought was the perfect gift for you wasn't necessarily something you would like or want to be seen in, lol. But the thought and the gesture were there. Eventually we would convince her that it would make her life a little easier and people could get what they wanted. After all, you can still find creative ways to wrap a gift card.

But, then there is the issue that recipients can lose the gift cards or just put them something place and forget that they have them. Or they have them at home, but not with them when they are shopping or out when they could actually use them. Sometimes, gift cards are received with enthusiasm and spent the way they were meant to be spent. Other times they are re-gifted. Other times they collect dust and sit in that special place everyone has, because for some odd reason some of us feel like we are being too frivolous when we use them, lol. Silly huh?

Yes, human nature can be just as unpredictable as gift choices sometimes. But since we are now in November and 'pre-' Black Friday sales are already starting to show up it's just one more thing for us consumers to contemplate.

Thoughts? 
Any stories of gift card mishaps that you can share with the rest of us?