Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Not Sweating The Small Stuff

I read a book once (actually I've read many) called 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and It's All Small Stuff' by Richard Carlson, PH.D. It was about learning simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life. There's a lot of wisdom in that little nugget itself. Simplifying things down to their basic core can help you gain (or regain) perspective. The trouble though is that not everything is small stuff and a lot of it isn't even 'your' stuff. That's when things get tricky.

I'll bet if someone did a scientific study on my DNA they would find that besides me being Irish and having more freckles than I can count, I am also a habitual worrier, a planner, a master organizer, one who stresses easily, a born mediator, someone who LOVES a good pizza, etc. The human mind is a very unique thing. Everyone's is different. People behave and react to things differently. What sets one person off and makes them feel anxious sometimes wouldn't bother the person standing next to them in the least. Some of us are detail oriented (to a fault), so much so that we don't miss much. We see how we think things should be and know how we think people should behave, but when things don't fall into our plans in a neat and orderly fashion ... we stress, we worry, and ultimately we try to fix things. Truth is that some things aren't meant to be changed and many aren't even our problems to fix. 

In a perfect world, we could be more objective, be patient, stand back and wait for people to tell us if they needed our help. But I haven't found that perfect balance yet, have you? I see someone else stressing or worrying and I am compelled to be empathetic and feel their stress. Unhealthy for me, I'm sure. Yes, I am one of those people who can watch a Hallmark movie or a Mother's Day commercial and cry before it's even over. 

What am I saying here? That I can admit my strengths, as well as my faults. I care a lot for those in my circle (my family, my friends, my acquaintances, my co-workers, and sometimes even people I've never met). I want to help people. I want to understand what makes them do what they do. I want to fix things. I don't want to stand by and see people hurt (mentally or physically). Those I suppose would be strengths. My weaknesses? Yes, I can be honest - I have those too. I will get hung up on things I shouldn't be stressing over, sometimes little things (like people's behaviors and lack of respect) and sometimes big things (life changing situations). I will admit that when I get hung up on something and can't seem to get past it I've been known to rant about it ... for a while ... probably for way too long. I am not naive enough to think that some of my closest friends don't have moments where they think to themselves, 'Wow, is she still going off about that? Get over it already!' To those friends, I say, 'Thank you for being patient with me. You're the best!' I appreciate them not giving up on me.

What small stuff are you able to put aside and easily get over?

What things do you have a harder time with?

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