Thursday, January 25, 2018

Have The Conversation

A conversation is a dialogue made up of at least two voices. Ironically, though, some people think it is about one person mentioning a topic and then someone else speaking A LOT. The second person will start out by sharing their point of view and then it's like a 'snowball down the hill' effect. They talk, then talk some more, then keep talking until the eyes of the first person start to glaze over. It tends to gain momentum as it goes. It's normal for all of us to feel passionate about certain topics, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we know what we are talking about or that we even have our facts in order. We could just be sharing our opinion disguised as fact. Yet, the inner seasoned debater can come out in all of us. We're determined to persuade the other person that our opinion is the right opinion and they should share it.

Want to know what I mean, just watch or listen to any political talk show. The seasoned anchor will do their darnedest to convince you that their point of view is the only one that matters. Now whether the opinion shared is actually theirs or their bosses remains to be determined. But that's neither here nor there.

The thing about real conversations is that if executed correctly we can actually learn more by listening than by talking. A little give and take and equal talk time can teach both parties a lot. If we only want to hear ourselves talk and never listen to anyone else we may as well just have a solo monologue in our car. Then we know we'll never have to argue because the only one listening is us. BUT, if we actually want to discover something about our character and more than just the answer to the topic, we should make a conversation more like a chess match ... make your point (or move your chess piece), then hit the buzzer, then sit back, then wait for a thought out response, wait your turn and then go again. What a concept, huh?

It's okay not to know it all. Take a chance and have the conversation. In the end, you may learn something new.

Do you have those people in your life that like to dominate the conversation? 
How do you handle it?

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