Seriously? It's just prom!

This morning I heard the most outrageous call-in conversation on a radio show. A mother called in to say that 'her daughter was going to her prom and was destined to be prom queen'. The trouble was that her daughter posted a picture of her prom dress on Facebook and later discovered that another student 'who wasn't in her inner circle of friends' planned to wear the same dress. OMG ... seriously? This mother was somehow under the impression that the prom was all about her daughter and that somehow having someone else in the same dress was going to ruin her chances of shining for the evening. This mother talked about having spent a lot of money on the perfect dress. She was actually considering either A) calling the girl and suggesting that she get a different dress or B) bribing the girl not to wear the dress. Again ... seriously?

What has society come to when dress shops 'register' dresses for teenage girls (so no one else from the same school can wear the same dress)? I'm sure they're just attempting to give their customers the assurances that their daughter will stand out (for the low, low profit of hundreds of dollars). It's a prom. Yes ... a prom is definitely a highlight in a senior year of high school. Hopefully something that is a first for those attending. But guess what? It's about getting dressed up in something other than blue jeans, having fun with friends, and creating a night of memories. It shouldn't be about spending $500+ on a dress you'll only wear once (that should be saved for your wedding day). It shouldn't be about who will be seen with whom. I can appreciate the the romance and the fun in guys making the 'grand gesture' by being creative with their prom invite. Trust me, I have a teenage daughter. The girls want the 'creative gesture'. They don't want to get their prom invite via text while their proposed date takes a 5 minute break from their video game.

I've known girls who've spent mega bucks on their prom dresses (or rather their parents did), but in the end I don't think they had any more fun at the prom because of it. A table with 10 students can still only fit so much dress material. Instead why don't we encourage our daughters to wear dresses that make them feel pretty? Of course, if the ball gown is what your daughter feels special in, then by all means that's the dress for her. It's not solely a money issue - to me it's more about encouraging your daughter to see the beauty she has when she wears a Red Wings shirt and a faded pair of jeans. And then encouraging her to enjoy the process of dressing up for a special night. Let's not send our daughters the wrong message ... the message that says they won't be pretty enough if they don't have 5# of glitz on their gown. Granted I loved Cinderella's dress - I'm a romantic at heart. One of my favorite shows is 'Say Yes To The Dress', but when I hear conversations like I did on the radio this morning I wonder where some people's motives are. The mother on the radio this morning when asked by the DJ why she was so concerned about it (that it was her daughter's night, not hers) simply stated, 'well, yes, it is about my daughter being the queen, but clearly that'll make me the queen's mom and I'm sure I'll be part of the festivities.'

So I apologize for feeling riled up, but that's the beauty of a blog. It's my opinion and I get to encourage constructive dialogue (hopefully). So what made your prom special? If you're female ... did you wear the dress of your dreams or a hand-me-down? If you're a guy ... did the dress your date wore make or break your prom night? What kind of dress are you hoping your daughter(s) will wear?

Reality TV? It has its purpose.

It's been a wild week and I don't just mean the weather. Seems like every time I turn on the news this week there's been something bad to hear ... but it hasn't just been bad, it's been devastating news. The Boston Marathon bombings on Monday and this morning there was the fertilizer plant that exploded in Waco, TX. Crazy stuff. The kind of stuff that changes peoples lives in the blink of an eye. Watching a news report on TV is Reality TV in its purist form. But is all Reality TV bad? I don't think so. Let's take a minute and break it down.

 

When I think of the first Reality TV I watched it was probably Survivor. The first few seasons I was hooked, but then I missed a few seasons, and then I came back. At the time it seemed like Survivor's main competitor was The Amazing Race (which I can't say I ever watched, but know many people who were devoted fans.) Most Reality TV shows seem to have a main competitor. Let's see if I'm right ...

 

Survivor vs. Amazing Race ... American Idol vs. The Voice ...  Dancing With The Stars vs. So You Think You Can Dance (expect they don't usually run at the same time, which is nice).

 

Then there are a barrage of Food Network shows that are available at ANY time for your viewing pleasure: Chopped (one of my favorites), Diners Drive-Ins & Dives, Worst Cooks in America, Restaurant Impossible, Cupcake Wars, etc. etc.

 

One could say that reality shows are nothing new if you think back to This Old House, Trading Spaces, or Julia Child. Those are shows that were ahead of their time.

 

It's just my opinion, but reality shows can serve a purpose. Perhaps we feel we can relate to them more because the hosts or contestants aren't actors - they're regular people like you and me. But then there are the reality shows that are nothing more than video diaries (sort of a TV version of a gossip magazine). I know there must be people who watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians and Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo because I still see them advertised, but I just don't get those types of shows.

 

For me, some reality shows are like reading a book ... for the amount of time that I'm watching the show I get to escape into the other characters. For that 60 minutes I get to turn by brain off, quit making schedules, quit paying bills, and quit making plans. It's a win-win for me.

So what's your favorite Reality TV show? Duck Dynasty? Say Yes To The Dress? Biggest Loser? Which show draws you in and helps you to escape the realities of your life?

Appreciate The Moment

It’s been a crazy couple of days. My daughter is a high school senior. That being said, schedules with her final concerts, rehearsals, upcoming banquets, etc. have our calendar pretty full.

I spoke with another parent of a senior over the weekend as we were chaperoning the girls’ last jazz band competition. She commented about how everything seemed a bit surreal right now … the last one of this and the last one of that, starting to prep for a graduation party, college to do lists, etc.

There are times when I catch myself saying “just as soon as this or that is done I’ll squeeze in some time for something else.” Lately people will ask my daughter if she’s ready for her senior year in high school to be over with. To which she usually says, “If anything I’m trying to slow it down.” She’s looking forward to college and all the new things that’ll come with it, but at the same time she’s trying to enjoy every last minute of high school. These are times she’ll only experience once and the fact is – she’ll never get them back or have a chance to re-do them.

Yesterday we all experienced the tragic news of the bombings at the Boston Marathon. Five minutes of horrific stories recanted on the news and I’m suddenly reprioritizing my day and my life. No one who trained for months to run in yesterday’s race or traveled to cheer on a family member expected their day to take on the course that it did. In reality we are sadly reminded that there are mean, selfish people everywhere. No one is immune to them. Unfortunately, we don’t have control over every aspect of our lives. I’m sure we all wish that we did, but the fact of the matter is that we don’t.

What can we do? In the grand scheme of things we can pray for those who were injured and pray for the families of those who were lost. We can tell our spouses to ‘drive safe’ when they leave in the morning. We can give our kids a hug and tell them we love them tonight when we tuck them in. We can be thankful for the roofs over our heads and the food we ate during the day. We can pray for those who are sick and wish them a full and speedy recovery. We can lend a helping hand to our neighbor. AND we can be thankful that we are alive and have daily stresses to deal with. It beats the alternative.

Today I will take a few minutes to look up at the blue sky that we’ve waited weeks for. I’ll smell the fresh air that is currently coming in my window. I will smile as I see a little child laughing outside. I will be thankful for right now and appreciate the moment.

What's been your greatest milestone?

What exactly is a milestone? I suppose it could mean different things to different people, but Dictionary.com defines a milestone as a specific event or stage in a person's life, progress or development. Some people may have more than others, but everyone has them. They're inevitable. Some just stand out to us more or are forever imprinted in our memories.

Most of us will have a first day of kindergarten, a first crush, a first best friend, a first 'A' on a hard test, a first kiss, the day you get your driver's license, and a first 'official' date. Others will be fortunate to move on in life and have a wedding day, the moment you hold your children in your arms for the first time, anniversaries, watching your kids play Little League or get the lead in a school play. Of course, not all milestones will be happy ones. Any event that shapes your life, you who were and who you become, will be a milestone.

Lately I've been thinking about the milestones in my life. I've been blessed in so many ways. I got married to a wonderful, loyal, giving man over 30 years ago. I have 2 amazing children (although they're not really children anymore). I'm a 7-year cancer survivor. I have a job that I like. I get to wake up every morning and praise God that I can.

Life is good, but it's definitely not over. I've got a lot of time left to embrace more milestones. What do I want to accomplish still? I'd like to write a book. I'd like to ride in a hot air balloon. I'd love to bounce grand kids on my knee. AND I want to be on Wheel On Fortune. Whether these things will happen or not, only God knows. But life is all about surprises. Some of the best milestones are accomplishments that you've worked for years to attain. Maybe the first time someone sang a song that you wrote or the first time you completed running in a race or when you got that one special job that you really wanted. Yet again, others are surprises - things we didn't plan, or expect, or even think we wanted ... but ultimately turn out to be amazing gifts.

As always, one cannot read my blog without me posing a question to you, whether or not you choose to answer is entirely up to you (but I really hope that you will).

What's been your most memorable milestone to date?

Were You A Practice Child?

Today I was having a conversation with someone which caused me to do some reminiscing. If you're reading this blog entry and you're over the age of 18 you will probably view its content one way. If, by chance, you're one of my 'younger' readers it may give you something to think about.

When I was a child (even a young teenager) I grew up in a household with one sister who was 2 1/2 years older than me. My mother, in particular, had a very specific idea of how we would be raised. She had rules and guidelines, some stricter than others. My sister and I grew up during a time when my mother said, "I am NOT going to look at hair hanging in your eyes. If you're going to have hair down to shoulders or beyond, you WILL have curls." Unfortunately for us, that was a time (the 70s) when curls were attained through the process of stinky home perms. Need I say more? My sister and I endured the home perm process for years, until my sister reached junior high. She just couldn't do it anymore. She despised curls, and even more so the nasty stinky perms. Finally my mom gave in, mostly because it was the year Dorothy Hamill skated in the Winter Olympics. My mom caved and my sister cut off her artificial curls and proudly wore a new short hairstyle. I give her credit, it looked great on her. But something else happened in the process. My mom either mellowed or she just got tired, because she decided as long as the hair was off my sister's face not having curls was suddenly acceptable. That is when she let me quit getting the home perms as well; as long as I wore a headband, braids or ponytails. Hence ... my sister was donned as the 'practice child.'

My early teenage years continued with more milestones; getting to wear 'clear' pantyhose only a few months after my sister did after she'd grudgingly waited til the designated age 13 mark, not to mention the whole getting your ears pierced situation ... my sister dutifully waited til she was around the age of 12 only to have my mom allow me to follow just a short while later with her only explanation being that 'perhaps it wasn't such a big deal after all.'

Of course there were somethings my sister and I struggled through alike (and trust me, NO preferential treatment was ever given) like having to sit at the table until you ate everything on your plate. Let me just say that our mother was a wonderful talented baker, but she had a few VERY interesting recipes for dinner items. I've still never seen, let alone tasted, homemade chili that contained spaghetti noodles in it. Let me add that chili served hot is one thing, but chili that has sat in your bowl for well over an hour is quite another.

My question to you is 'were you a practice child' growing up? ... the one that was raised with the 'trial and error' approach? Or were you somewhere else down the road where the approach was a bit different and your older sibling(s) never failed to remind you of 'how easy you had it?' lol

Now that you're grown up and perhaps have children of your own - are you repeating the parenting cycle you grew up with or trying a different method? What's working for you? What have you discovered along the way? What were some of your fondest (or not so fondest) memories?

How many hats do you wear?

The other day I did some online research to find a word for someone who wears many hats. I discovered a lot of information about types of hats (top hats, baseball hats, fedoras, bonnets, etc.), reasons to wear hats (because it’s raining or because you’re doing construction), would you date someone that wore a hat (or were they trying to hide something), and even ‘why’ someone would make a hat out of tin foil (I’m still not sure about that one). While all of this information was quite interesting, it wasn’t exactly what I was looking for. I was looking more metaphorically at people wearing many hats in the things that they try to get done.

I’ll admit there are days when my TO DO lists need sub-categories because they’re too long. I’m a mom, a wife, an aunt, a daughter, a sibling, an employee, a high school band booster, a church goer, a problem solver, a chauffeur, a cook, a social secretary, etc, etc. But I’m not any different than most people. Many of us try to be many things to many people. That in itself can get overwhelming, that much I do know.

So why do we torture ourselves? Why do we take on even more to do when our plate is seemingly already full? Is it because some of us have a hard time saying NO? Is it because deep down we don’t want to disappoint anyone? If I had all of the answers I don’t suppose I would be writing this blog right now. I’ll admit I’ve been known on occasion to overextend my time, but who hasn’t? Surely I’m not alone in this dilemma. I’ve gotten a little better in some aspects. I’ve learned to step back from time to time and say NO (although probably not as often as I should). In some areas of my life I’ve come to the conclusion that if I say I can’t do something someone else will step up and fill my shoes and the item in question will indeed get done; perhaps not the same way that I would have done it, but you know what? … that’s o.k. Maybe part of it is having control issues, perhaps part is our subconscious desire to feel needed, and maybe part is wanting to be in total control … oh wait, I already said that one. Oops.

So how many hats have you worn this week alone? That should narrow down the range for you just to make things simpler.

Creative Stress Relievers

Lately a lot of people I know seem to be stressed ... because of finances or job hunting or the winter weather or because it's cold & flu season. Regardless of the reason stress can definitely take a toll on your mind, body and spirit (in no particular order). My schedule these days doesn't permit me to get to the local gym and the cold weather we've been having here in the mitten hasn't been real conducive to outdoor walks, so what ways have I found to relieve stress? Well, let's see.

I haven't been to a Chuckie Cheese's in years and I don't have a 'Whack A Mole' game, so I've gotten creative and health-conscious. Are you confused yet? lol. Let's just say that my family has been eating more chicken lately. That's right ... chicken. I buy boneless skinless chicken breasts, fillet them so they're 1/2 the thickness and then pound the heck out of them. My husband says they're practically thin enough to read the paper through, but bake them on parchment paper on a cookie sheet, add a little Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce and YUM!

This morning at work I found my 2nd creative stress reliever. I was setting up a classroom for a business meeting and decided to clean the dry erase board. Spritz the special magic spray (that looks like water, but smells real strong), do your best imitation of The Karate Kid's 'wax on, wax off' and VOILA! You've got a nice, bright, white, clean dry erase board. I felt so gratified with my work that my co-worker and I decided to check all the classrooms and cleaned 3 more boards. Not only was our work productive, but we got a little arm & shoulder exercises in for the morning. Felt like I had a clean slate for my day (pardon the pun).

What creative ways do you relieve stress? And please don't tell me that you NEVER get stressed. If you do I'll have to think that I've been doing something wrong.