Change The View To See Clearly

Lately I've had a difficult time conveying what's on my mind and putting it into words. Don't get me wrong, I've always got thoughts in my head and words spinning around. My problem is that I can get distracted very easily. I have a room in my house (my son's old room ... don't worry, I didn't kick him out or anything ... he got married and has his own house now); I worked hard to transform this room into a place that was serene.  A place where I could have a writing desk for blogging and a comfy chair for reading. But somehow I let MY special place get away from me. Over the last several months I allowed my space to become a dumping ground; no one did it to me ... I allowed it to happen.

I suddenly found the corners filled with a pile a mail to go to my son's the next time I saw him, a basket full of catalogs that were meant for my mom but being forwarded to my address since she now resides in a nursing home, a bag of snacks and items to go with me on my weekly visit to see her, etc., etc. 

My life has changed a lot in the last year or so, new and increasing responsibilities have been added to my plate. My day, just like everyone else's, sadly still just has 24 hours. There never seems to be enough time to accomplish all the things I have to do, let alone create extra time for blogging and doing some of the things I want to do - things I need to do. 

The piles in my room, like the responsibilities, had become distractions that were keeping me off balance. I needed to reclaim that balance, it wasn't feeling healthy anymore. I can't necessarily eliminate the responsibilities, but I could get rid of the piles! The 'stuff' in my room was exactly that; 'stuff'. At the same time it also became a visible metaphor for a part of my life. The part I felt I was losing control over.

Last weekend my ever-patient and supportive husband and daughter helped me to reclaim part of my balance. We eliminated the piles, we removed the corner TV, we rearranged the furniture, and we moved a 2-drawer cabinet into the closet ... out of sight, out of mind. I can still organize my necessary paperwork, but I won't have to look at it all the time. My carpet is now clear, as well as my vision. I can sit here right now at my desk and look up and across the room. I can look out the window at my yard with green grass and tree branches gently moving in the breeze. My desk no longer faces a wall.

What has this experience taught me? That sometimes we need to change the view in order to see more clearly.

Have you experienced being 'off balance'? What was causing it? What did you do to get back to where you wanted to be?

Mother's Day: And The Day After

Yesterday many people I know celebrated Mother's Day. Some celebrated the moms they idolized, the moms they strive to be like each day, the moms many have lost, and the moms who are a best friend. I read many blog posts about celebrating moms. I read multiple Facebook tributes and viewed nostalgic photos, as well as photos of cards and flowers being received. I saw photos of family gatherings and saw a light in some eyes and many smiles. Nothing brings people together more than a celebration. But it's not about the cards and gifts or the meal that was shared ... it's about the memories that are remembered and the new ones that are made.

Personally I had a wonderful day. I was instructed to choose what 'I' wanted to do for the day. The sky was blue and the sun was shining so I chose a quiet afternoon ride in the car with my husband and daughter. We traveled north for a mere 30 minutes passing red barns, horses in the fields, and grass and trees that were finally getting green. Our destination? St. Clair (Michigan, for any of you out-of-towners that may be reading). We grabbed a hot $10 pizza, found a quiet outdoor table across the street from the water, and watched the people walking by and the small boats meandering their way slowly across the water. We chatted, we caught up on each other's lives, and we remembered those that weren't with us that day. It was quiet, it was low-key, and it was perfect - especially when my son and daughter-in-law called. We sat outside and passed the phone around; it was almost like they were there with us.

I've been blessed with a wonderful husband, an amazing son and a daughter, a perfect daughter-in-law, and two precious granddaughters. I have everything I could have ever wanted and am thankful every day.

This morning was the 'morning after'. The morning after a perfect day. So what do many moms do the day after being celebrated? They continue to love on their children. They read their little ones a story (or two or three). We laugh with them and cry with them. We feel their pain. We try to encourage them. Life goes on as usual. In my case, I viewed LOTS and LOTS of adorable photos of my granddaughters that my daughter-in-law posted to a family share site. Then after work I stopped at the pharmacy and picked up nasal spray and an allergy medication for my 22 year old daughter suffering from an allergy-induced asthma flare up.

A friend and I recently remembered a quote that said, 'A mother is only as happy as her saddest child'. How true. Just because my children are grown adults doesn't mean that as a mother I quit caring. It doesn't mean that I don't still try to help and encourage them like when they were growing up. 

Yes, today is the day after being celebrated; the day we go back to doing what we do. Tomorrow we will continue to move forward creating new memories and remembering today for the blessing that it is.

If you are a mom I hope you were celebrated yesterday. If you aren't a mom, but have served as a mentor to anyone who benefited from your experiences I hope you feel good and appreciated for the unbelievable value you have been to those around you.

How did you celebrate Mother's Day yesterday?