Back To School ...

Tomorrow is Labor Day which for a lot of people means they have a 3-day weekend. Tomorrow there will be time spent with friends and family, perhaps a BBQ, or maybe even a baseball game. In my case it'll be a local parade. Over the years my kids have marched in several of the local community parades. My son marched in a Sterling Heights parade when he was young with his softball team (they were the city champs that year in their age division). All through high school he marched with his marching band at the Romeo Peach Festival Parade. Now for the last two years it's been my daughter's turn with her marching band. I love to hear the bands play and I laugh when I watch all of the little kids scramble at the curb for the candy that the clowns throw. Labor Day for many is a day for rest and reflection and appreciation. Many veterans will march at the parades and it's a wonderful sight to see people cheer and honor them for all they have given.

Labor Day also says that the summer season is drawing to an end. Yes, we will still have warmer temperatures for a few weeks, but many of us will be so busy we won't even notice. The day AFTER Labor Day (at least for those of us in Michigan) marks the first day of the new school year. The school supplies may already be bought, the football games have already begun, and many of the high school girls are already talking about their homecoming dances.

This year is unique for me. My oldest just got a new job teaching high school chemistry and my youngest is a high school senior. I guess times do change, whether we're ready for them or not. This year will be full of excitement for everyone. Whether you have kids of your own, nieces or nephews, grandchildren, or even have a soft spot for the boy down the street who shoots hoops in his driveway every night til it's dark ... be there for them. Being young and being in school is a special time for every child (no matter their age). Help them to make the most of it. Encourage them. Show them your support. Drive them to a dance class or soccer game. Shout their name from the stands when they score a touchdown or do a cheer. Let them know that this is their time to have fun, experience life, and learn, but it's also important to teach them to be good people.  Kids today face a lot of peer pressure and bullying. Too many times kids feel alone and that they have no one they can talk to. Don't let that be the case. Be a mentor or a coach or just a friend. With everyone doing their part I think we can be ready for another great school year. What do you say? Can I count on you?

Past...Present...Future

'Past' ... 'Present' ... 'Future' ... which one do you prefer to live in? That's a tough one I know. Some would say that it depends what season your life is in, while others might venture to say it only matters which day of the week it is.

Sometimes it can be difficult to let go of hurts from the past making it hard to move forward. There's also those who refuse to grow up and want to re-live their past (usually through their kids ... just think of TV reality shows like 'Toddlers & Tiaras' or 'Dance Moms' ... enough said). How we remember the past can affect what we choose to hold on to and what we choose to let go of.

There's the present; living each day for the unique beauty that it presents. That could be a baby's laugh, a double rainbow, or getting on the scale and realizing that you finally lost 5 pounds. Enjoy all the little things that are uniquely 'today'.

Then there's the future. The future is the ultimate unknown. It holds uncertainties, lots and lots of questions, hope, and often stress. The point is you can't control the future ... only your present.

Try to live today as if it were your last. There's an old saying 'Don't put off til tomorrow what you can take care of today'. Could that be any more accurate? I kind of think it says it all. Live today with all the hope, strength, ambition, and focus you can muster and it'll get you where you need to be tomorrow.

How do you handle temptation?

Question of the day ... can you resist temptation?

This is when we answer honestly ... even anonymously, if necessary.

Lately I've been watching the Olympics (like a lot of other people I imagine), but have had to deal with the time zone difference. I am working on a computer at work most of the day and various 'Spoiler Alerts' will flash at the top of the Yahoo page. So ... have you been able to resist clicking on the convenient link to see who gets the Gold OR have you shown your supernatural will power and waited til you've been able to watch the event later on in the day? I'll be honest and admit the first few days I didn't know about the spoiler alerts and waited, but once I became aware of them my will power slowly began to dwindle. A few times now I've realized that my evening schedule was possibly going to prohibit me from watching my favorite events, so I decided to just grasp the spoiler alert and wait for the recaps. Not quite as much fun, but definitely better than not knowing, right?

So, Olympics are one level of temptation, then there's french fries, DQ and the secret snack size candy hidden in the volunteer desk drawer. Uh-oh, now the secret is out. Oops! How do we  handle these temptations? Obviously these are some of my weaknesses - yours may be different. To be totally honest I've only had DQ a few times this summer and when I have I've tried to show great restraint and order the 'MINI' blizzard (seriously it's like the size of a bathroom Dixie cup). How much more restraint can a person be expected to endure? French fries ... I generally never order my own, I share with someone ... that's resisting temptation, right? OK, maybe we shouldn't talk about the secret candy in the drawer - I've got nothing to say on that one that won't incriminate me. Guess I'm human after all.

Just curious about what temptations make you stress a bit? How do you handle them? If you're stronger and more disciplined than me - that's awesome for you, but please share some of your secrets and techniques with me. I could use some help. While I may sound like everything is casual and whimsy, society clearly says otherwise. I'm fortunate not to have any big temptations in my life and I'm blessed not to have any addictions (alcohol, smoking, or gambling). If you find you're facing those kinds of temptations, please seek out some help. Find someone to talk to. Don't feel like you have to be superhuman and handle everything life throws at you by yourself. You're never alone.

Are you part of a stereotype?

Today's question is 'Do you steroeotype people and situations?'

An interesting thing happened at work today. We had ordered a bench to be placed outside the front entrance. Timing was impeccable as the freight truck showed up '5-10 days' early at precisely noon ... the same exact time that 85+ children (ages  preschool - 4th grade) were being picked up following an action-packed morning of vacation bible school. Yes ... it apparently is all about the timing.

The freight truck driver was pleasant and agreed to wait 10 minutes til the children and traffic eased out of the church parking lot. Then he placed the 270 lb. load on the designated sidewalk for us. My co-worker and I (as a disclaimer I will mention that BOTH of us are stubborn women, although I'm pretty sure only one of us is Irish ... me). We checked out the materials for damage, counted the bolts, reviewed the situation and proceeded to assemble the 6 ft. bench ourselves. We had a bad ratchet, but still got the project done without any scraped knuckles. The funny thing was that several people suggested we call around and get 'some of the strong guys from the church' to put it together for us. Obviously they didn't know us very well, because we were already outside assembling the bench. I wouldn't really call either of us 'women's libbers', but neither of us has the time nor the patience to wait around to call someone else in to do the job  ... 'male' or 'female'. We've both been known to pull shrubs, lay mulch, paint offices, reorganize storage closets ... whatever needs done.

So back to the original question ... 'Do you stereotype people and situations?' (even if unknowingly) Have you ever found yourself to be stereotyped? And if so, how did that make you feel?

Hey, It's OK ...

It's been nearly 2 weeks since my last blog entry, guess my only excuse is that life has kept me busy. There was a new roof installed at our house, haircut appointments, piano lessons, marching band sectionals, back to work after a week long 'staycation', etc. Like I said, last week was a busy one, but that doesn't mean my mind wasn't always in its ever-observant mode ... always looking for new and fun things to write about.

Well here is what I came up with. We all know that I'm the master at making lists. Usually they are TO DO lists, and 'yes' I made those too (daily, sorry to say) - BUT this past week I gave myself an assignment to make a list of things that I think  are 'OK'  and 'NOT OK'.

Here it goes ...

Hey, it's OK ...

... to turn your cell phone off while at the dinner table OR when you have company over trying to engage in conversation.

... to sing in your car at the top of your lungs, even if you're off key.

... to cry during sentimental commercials (like when a military mom or dad surprises their child at a school assembly).

... to feel a 'little bit' flattered when someone toots their car horn at you. (It's only slightly embarrassing to look over your shoulder to see if there was someone else standing behind you.)

... to take a lap around the office to see whether people notice your haircut.

... to admit that you actually like the frilly bridesmaid dress. It can happen!

BUT, it's NOT OK ...

... to bring a plastic bag with you when you walk your dog through the neighborhood if you have NO real intention of ever actually USING the bag.

... to talk extremely loud in public places like the library, the bank, or the movie theatre. We REALLY don't want to know all of your personal business.

... to toss your butts or dump your leftover coffee out of your car window - the world is NOT your personal trash can (and NO there is not a maid in the car behind you just waiting to clean up after you).

... to take your opponent out during a game of 'flag' football.

... to flirt your way out of a traffic ticket if you're married (this one applies to both men and women).

... to use more than one parking spot for your car when yours is the same size as everyone else's.

... to be the girl who gets way too competitive about catching the bouquet. After all, it's a wedding, not The Hunger Games. This also applies to the overeager guys going after the garter belt.

These are just a few of the items that made my list. I'd love to hear some of your observations. What do YOU think it's OK and NOT OK to do?

What do you do when 'relaxing' becomes just another item on your TO DO list?

Today is one of those days. A day when I don't have to go to work, yet a day when I don't really have anything planned. This week has been a 'staycation' for me. Sure, it'd be great to have some amazing vacation destination to go to, but at the same time it's been nice to have a bit more flexibility in my days. I've taken early morning walks this week, ridden my bicycle with my daughter, worked in my flower garden a few times, been to the library twice, attended one college visit and have watched TV (Hallmark movies to be precise) a bit more than I usually do. I've also had erratic meals (some good, some not so good), which was clearly reflected on my scale this morning. As a disclaimer, I will say that yesterday was a holiday and while I did take a 2 mile walk in the morning before the heat got too bad I did end my night sitting on a blanket on my driveway and ate 2 toasted marshmallows while watching the neighborhood fireworks light show. I guess I will give myself a bit of grace then. After all I can certainly remedy the scale situation during the balance of my week.

I am so used to filling EVERY minute of my day with work, errands and schedules that when a day or even a week comes along that breaks up the routine I feel a bit lost and confused. The first couple of days I can sit on the patio and read and tell myself I deserve it because 'I'm on vacation'. Then the novelty wears off and the guilt sets in. Not really sure how to avoid it. I'll do a few quick projects so that I can justify to myself that I 'deserve' to relax. Wow! Do I REALLY sound that pathetic? How do you cope with staycations or even the occasional day off? Is there some sort of secret that I'm not aware of? What do you do when 'relaxing' becomes one of the things you pencil in on your To Do list? AND ... it's all the way down the list as #6 or 7?

'BUT ...'

'But' is nothing more than a 3-letter word in the English language, right? Wrong! True, it is indeed a 3-letter word, but it can take on a life of its own. It can have so much power for 3 simple letters. The word 'but' usually leads you into something else ... whenever a thought or sentence has more to say there's usally a 'but'. Like when you're 8 years old and trying to defend your actions to your parents 'BUT I didn't know we'd get burned if we touched the car lighter with our fingertip.' When you hear 5th graders talking behind someone's back on the playground and their response is justified with 'BUT I didn't think Joey could hear me.' Clearly, the actions were wrong, yet somehow someone thought they were justifiable because they added a 'BUT'.

Not too long ago I found myself in the midst of a very awkward conversation. What do you do when you're spending time with someone (and you're committed to hanging around for a while) and you suddenly find yourself feeling very anxious, getting very quiet and taking a step back to hear what is really being said? In the course of less than 10 minutes I felt as if this person justified their selfishness and lack of morals by using the word 'BUT' more times than I could even count. For example, 'I'm not poking fun at so-n-so, BUT did you see what they were wearing?' 'I'm not biased and don't really care what other people do, BUT I can't imagine ever doing anything that terrible.' 'I'm not saying that they're not smart, BUT I can't imagine that they'll get that job.'

Since when does a person become so smart and so superior that they can tear others down whenever they choose, simply by adding a disclaimer? I think it'd be wiser if people broke their sentences down in their heads first before they opened their mouths. The word 'BUT' is similar to the word 'AND' in that sense. Break the sentence down and see if the first part (before you add the 'BUT') or the second part can stand on their own. Can they? And do either parts convey the message that you really wanted to express when they stand alone?

There is a certain scripture (and I believe a commandment) that says 'love your neighbor as yourself'. It talks about treating others the way that you would want to be treated. Would your child (or you for that fact) feel hurt or betrayed if you walked in and heard people talking about you (unfavorably) behind your back? Would you just blow it off when they said, 'Oops, but I didn't know you were there'? Would that somehow make their lack of judgement acceptable? I know it wouldn't for me.