If I had to pick one word to summarize my feelings these days it would be 'change'. Change comes in all shapes and sizes, it can be loud or quiet, and it can be invited or it can barge in on you. It can be anticipated and welcomed or it can be overwhelming and scary.The thing is we can sometimes have control over some changes like getting healthy or being a good communicator. Other times change is forced upon us, often without notice like a sickness or a car accident. But like anything else in life we cannot control everything. We can't control the weather; the hurricanes, the tornados, or the earthquakes. We can have a voice, but can't always steer the direction of a relationship that is breaking, a job that is about to be lost, or even a political situation we're unhappy with.
When change stares you straight in the face and gets so loud that you want to put in ear plugs to drown it out it means you are allowing the change to consume you. I often stay awake at night just listening to all the voices in my head and replaying every negative thing that happened, every nasty word that someone shared, every belittling attempt that I came across online whether in a news article or a Facebook post.
Everyone has an opinion about everything, including myself. The challenge is sharing opinions without being a bully and seeking a 15 minute platform. Sometimes the only thing we can constructively do is work with what we have. We have the choice and the ability to re-evaluate our situation. We don't have to be on board or even like or approve of the change we're facing, but we do need to find a way to adapt to it.
Some changes are good and we can't wait to embrace them and move forward in a positive way. Other changes, not so much. Sadly, that's just how life is. It's not always happy or pretty or wrapped nicely with a perfect bow on it. Sometimes change takes a lot of work and grit and time and energy and creative solutions and sleepless nights. In the end YOU still have a choice of whether you allow it to consume you and in what way.
A friend recently shared a beautifully written post with me about HOPE. A couple of lines stood out to me, but I will paraphrase. '... sometimes in those seasons of life that ache beyond words, we just want to hear that it's okay to not feel okay.' Any emotion is a real emotion and in my opinion is valid. Someone who is going through a rough patch doesn't need the pressure when asked how they are doing to say the obligatory, "I'm fine." They need to know it's okay to say, 'You know it's been a really bad week that just won't end." Give the people you come across the freedom to be truthful, but also help them to move forward. As the writer said, "We can sit in the tension of reality together." But then we can get up and try to be productive in whatever small way we can.
This isn't a post about politics - politics are everchanging and someone will always be happy and someone else will not. There are other blogs for that topic. These ramblings are about all the other changes we face daily. Wanting a relationship to work to when not everyone is on board. Wanting to accept the health and weight we are at and make the best of it. Learning to navigate our future alone after the loss of a loved one. Wanting our confidence to grow and be able to feel proud of what we have achieved even if it took us longer to get there. Being able to objectively evaluate where we are in our lives, where we long to be, and learning what hard work will look like to get there.
What change have you been dealing with?
Is it a welcome change? Or not?
Are you allowing it to define you or are you finding a way to adapt to it?
